Thursday, July 27, 2017

Vacancy for the position of 'Hare' August 12th 2017

                                                                                                                        July 27th 2017

Foe the Attention of Mr. Peter Talen - HR Dept. (Hare Raiser)

Re: Vacancy for a ‘Hare’ August 12th 2017

In response to your recent advertisement for a ‘Hare’ I am pleased to attach my resume for your consideration. I am a British honours graduate a with many years experience in the Asia-Pacific region.

I have the following experience which I believe is well aligned to the requirements of this position:
·        Thorough knowledge of the terrain in the Poonakan area.

·        Ability to compile and forward concise directions.

·        Trained by  John Duncan in the art of trail setting Guinness Koo in the shortcutting profession and John Holmes in drinking.

·        Experienced navigator.

·        Large supply of paper (mainly rejection letters for jobs)

 In my role in haring I have achieved the following (please see my CV):
  • Laid trails from Jakarta Indonesia through Singapore and Malaysia.
  • Significantly increased number of runners year on year.
  • Introduced innovative techniques.

 During my time as GM of Petaling Hash in Kuala Lumpur I personally organized numerous piss ups ensuring the pack woke up with hangovers every Sunday. I feel that my experience to date is very well aligned to the requirements of this role, and I am confident that I will be a valuable asset to your organisation. I am currently based in Songkhla, Southern Thailand but can easily relocate or commute. I am available for interview at short notice and would be pleased to work for a trial period to show my worth.

Yours Faithfully

Gan Yao BSc (Hons)


  1. Note to Cronies: This guy sounds good. How come we've never heard of him before?

  2. He does have a tail, but doesnt let it get in the way of his vision! Do I get the interview?

  3. Some subtle editing going on here as the date of Mr Yao's run is corrected. Can we assume that the apparent typo in line 3 is therefore a subtle hint of a potential challenge by Mr. Yao to our award-winning (i.e. someone bought him a beer last week) hare raiser?

    1. Too subtle for me, all over my head!Can;t even get the job to lay a run!!!

    2. [strikethrough]Over[/strikethrough] under qualified. Next!