Monday, April 29, 2013

Night running, now for non-hashers

Once again we seem to be in the cultural vanguard: How running became the new clubbing.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Who the fuck wrote Alice?

Brainiac was not in a good mood this morning when The Online Scum contacted him about a pressing question that came up at yesterday's apres-hash piss-up. "You're really going to waste my time with this drivel?" he asked.

Well yes, afraid so. As happens so often, Softcock was adamant that he was correct regarding a subject about which someone else (in this case our exalted GM) seemed to have more information. "Living Next Door to Alice", the Soft One insisted, was written and first performed by the band Smokie. Egghead respectfully disagreed, saying he remembered that the song had come out a few years earlier than the 1976 Smokie version. The beer makes things a bit fuzzy, but he might have added that he thought it was by an Australian band. (Smokie, for the record, hailed from Hamburg but achieved their small measure of fame in Britain.)

"New World, 1972!" shouted Brainiac. "Morons!" And then the line went dead.

So of course now I had to research this cryptic reference, and you don't think I have better things to do today? Anyhow, New World was indeed an Australian group and yes, they're the ones who wrote and sang it, to no particular success. That came only with Smokie's version, four years later.

And the charming "Who the Fuck Is Alice?" variant? That would be by the Dutch band Gompie in 1995, after hearing a crowd shout along with the song. Smokie, in a rather pathetic move to revive their career, put out their own recording with these lyrics in the same year. If for some unfathomable reason you want the entire recording history of this stupid tune, click here.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Goodbye Albert!


Tonight (Thursday 25 April), we say goodbye, at least for the time being, to our genial Flatlander, Kii Leum, who is off for his usual summer sojourn in the land of dykes, tulips and legal dope. Say fond farewells at Bai Meang from about 7:00 p.m. as long as he remembers to turn up!

This week’s SH3 run and this month’s full moon run will both take place on Saturday. Details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers’ run #1664 and Hatyai Full Moon Hash House Harriers’ run #96, Saturday April 27, 2013, 4:30 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. respectively.
Hares: Buk Toy Boy and Sex (S)Printer.
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection, take the old Hatyai road for 11.5k and turn right at the bottom of the hill, just before the big black Buddha, into the run site in Gold Star’s yard.

Usual stuff applies to the full moon run: bring a handlight if you are going to run and some food if you feel like it. Appeals for free beer have been deflected by she-who-is-usually-obeyed, as we are fast approaching the FM100th run when the coffers will be emptied in celebration. So anyone who wants to treat their mates (or just drink it themselves) is welcome to bring some beer, or to buy full moon special brew which will be on sale at 3 cans for 100 Baht. There will be overnight camping available for those who don’t feel the urge to drive home, so if you are of that mind bring a tent etc.

Sunday’s HH3 run will be set by Moo Sahb and Full Moon and will likely be: from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai  road for 4k and turn left for 6k, then right for 500 meters to the run site on the right.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

HH3 today (21st April 2013)

As promised. If you don't like Kanjanawanit road, follow the route to yesterday's runsite but go straight ahead past Wat Nern Pijit, then follow the road for about 4k to the main Hatyai/Chana highway and turn right. Follow the main road through Na Mom for about 10k (?) and the run site will be on your left.

6-6-6, 6-84?

Technically almost perfect, run 1663 failed to reach the promised levels of satisfaction when the pack were unable to deliver the coup de gras in the shape of a 66 minute run time. Such is life. But the multitude of checks was successful in slowing Sex Sprinter sufficiently to make him look like a normal human being and although he may have/probably did get home first, he was within hailing distance of the rest of the pack. Maximum height was 191 meters acheived at about 360_1 but the total ascent was a whapping 344m, which given that the run site was at 100m to begin with probably explains why the run took so long to complete. No complaints about the short run which was sixless so to speak, being only a little under 3k and having only 1 false trail.
Next week's SH3 and full moon runs are being rolled into a single event with an optional camp out to follow, chez Buk Toy. Kii Leum's farewell will therefor be runless and will take place on Thursday evening provisionally at Bai Meang, although there are suggestions of an alternative eating venue for those who don't like Vietnamese food.
HH3 tomorrow? Watch this space!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Coming soon...

Back to some sort of normality this weekend with Songkran and Hillwalk IV behind us and only the Hatyai H3 outstation run on 4/5 May to look forward to. But this week's run will feature some trails we have never run before, albeit from a run site we have used in the past.
Details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1663, Saturday April 20th 2013, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Softcock and Egghead
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 10k, then left for 100m and go straight ahead (i.e. don't follow the road round to the left), then follow the road for another 2k to the run site.
No news about HH3 this Sunday yet but you'll hear it first when it's released.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

...the best day we've had in Songkhla.

Thanks to everyone who made yesterday's Songkran run one of the best weve ever had. Particularly to Batu H3 who having endured a pretty uncomfortable overnight bus ride from KL, turned out only an hour late to provide the bulk of the runners. Thanks also to Coffee in Love for hosting the event  and to this man who summed it all up at the end when he said "It's been the best day we've had in Songkhla." See more pictures on Erika's blog: Trailing off...

Friday, April 12, 2013

Not that Coffee in Love!

Tomorrow's SH3 Songkran extravaganza will be taking place at Coffee in Love. 'Nuff said? 
Ok so, surprisingly, there is more than one Coffee in Love. The one illustrated above is in Pai. So it's not that one!
The one to head for is in Sisuda Road adjacent to our erstwhile home in the Hot Bread Shop, and was formerly known as the Moon and the Lekke Bar among other manifestations. 
The fun starts at 11:00 a.m. when we will be setting off on our traditional Songkran walk around Songkhla, accompanied by a number of guests from Batu H3 and other friends from KL. The hares are R2D2 and Egghead and there will be beer provided from the beer truck during the run by luscious beer maidens (OK, Peppered Pussy) and food laid on at the bar afterwards. The run fee for Songkhla H3 members, which will include a T shirt wll be 150 Baht. Local guests may be able to negotiate a reduction from the overseas rate of 350 Baht, as Hash Cash, Stick Insect will no doubt be in a good mood for the occasion. Bring a water gun and lots of good will and be sure to buy some beer from the bar after the run to say thanks for hosting this year's event!
On Sunday, Hatyai Hash will be running as usual and the hare will be Robocop. The run site is at the site of the old gas station on the old Hatyai road (OHR, 9k, right hand side).
Sawatdi Pi Mai!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

The Scum gets censored!

Was it the references to rampant sex and drugs? Or to Thailand, the country that always seems to be the poster boy for Westerners run amuck in Asia? Or was it just the slightly politically incorrect photo? We don't know, but within hours of putting up a post yesterday designed to attract the maximum number of viewers (the technical term is "search engine optimization"), it disappeared without trace.

We won't blame Google (who run the Blogger service, and who admittedly offer it for free), not at least yet anyhow. But if you're tired of their increasingly high-handed attitude toward collecting data from their users and then bombarding them with creepy personalized ads, then you might want to start using the new search engine that more and more of the cognoscenti are turning to: www.DuckDuckGo.com. Apart from the stupid name, it's pretty good. And it doesn't track users or collect any user data.

Now censor that, Mr. Internet!

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Back to reality

Ah well, it takes all sorts!
But this is what we do; or at least this is what we did today. 6.6k of fine running in 1 hour 10 minutes. Max. elevation 206m, total ascent about 400m. No one complained except Stick Insect and he didn't complain much, so it must have been good.
On on to the hill walk.... or more paraplegic porn.... the choice is yours!

A Brainiac quickie

Brainiac after his last hillwalk. You have been warned! 

TOS: So Softcock claims there were about 5,000 murders by firearms in the U.S. last year. Everyone else said it had to be more. Is it?

Brainiac: It is. Depending on who you listen to, it was between 9,000 (FBI) and 11,000 (CDC). What's interesting is that it was only about half the number of U.S. suicides by firearms. Also, it was surpassed by two other countries, Colombia and Venezuela. And in fact for the last year in which data were available, three other countries had more gun murders as well: Brazil, Mexico, and Thailand (yeah baby!). As in so many other fields, the U.S. is clearly losing its edge.

The best summary of how gun violence in the U.S. stacks up to the rest of the world is here.

Who would you trust?

Beaver's agricultural route
Sex Sprinter's wham-bam route
Extensive analysis reveals that Beaver's route to Khrua Ton Tae is apparently about 30k longer (total measured length 195k), but yes, it's probably an interesting scenic drive taking in some great views of limestone castes as well as, if you are unlucky the rear end of tractors and timber trucks.
Sex Sprinter's route, advertised as 162k, on the other hand is, well, straight up, straight across, straight down. 4-lane highway most of the way, foot down, get it over with, wham bam thankyou ma'am! So as long as you are confident of avoiding bollards between Phattalung and Trang, Sex Sprinter's route seems to offer the least painful drive.
So Beaver, see you about 9 o'clock then.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Runz and walks this weekend

Lots of foot abuse occurring this weekend:
Songkhla Hash details are:
SH3 run#1661, Saturday April 6th, 2013: 4:30
Hares: Kii Leum and Perky
Misdirections: from the Ko Yo Intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k then right (at Wat Keow Kloy into Poonakan Rd) for 4.2k to the runsite on the left (just before the football field).
Then on Sunday, for those not going up to the resort prior to the hillwalk to ensure that they are well rested on Monday morning (and not just to drink beer for the last time for 3 days), Hatyai H3's run will be from the big sala 1k behind the CP Factory on the old Hatyai road (6.5k on the right from the the Ko Yo intersection). Hares are probably the sex people.
For those hillwalk-bound, there is a map available to anyone who hasn't already got it, plus sets of misdirections from both Sex Sprinter and Beavershot (who would you trust? - Neither is not an option!). But none of the independent vernacular contingent (i.e. Thais not romantically connected to a farang) will be travelling on Sunday afternoon and will only be joining the hungover remnants of those who are on Monday either to walk or just to be there to wave us off as we disappear up Kao Jet Yod. So there should still be a good turnout for HH3 on Sunday for those vascilating about whether it is worth going or not.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Hillwalk IV is coming!

And to get you in the mood, a photo of the world's biggest leech!


Monday, April 1, 2013

Hello, Brainiac?

TOS: Yo, Brainiac! My main man!

B: Oh ... you again.

TOS: We had some important questions come up at the on-after last night. Like the one about ticks. Can they really live in trees for 70 years waiting to fall on a passing kangaroo? That's what Stick Insect said.

B: He obviously took way too many drugs back in the '70s. Most ticks live only a year or two. But yes, they can go into a kind of hibernation state and survive over 20 years, on little or no food.

TOS: So can snails dehydrate and then be revived?

B: Sure, watch this. But if they dehydrate too much, they die, just like hashers without beer. But again, this is more of a hibernation state than true cryptobiosis, in which all apparent signs of life stop. The champions of that are brine shrimp, which can totally dry up and then come back to life many years later if returned to saltwater.

TOS: OK, now Beavershot says that Thai has a special classifier only for clocks.

B: That would be reuan (เรือน). See the list here

TOS: He also claimed that the most famous of all limericks is the one that starts "There once was a man from Nantucket". But he didn't make a very good case for it because he couldn't remember the rest of it.

B: It has been called the "iconic" limerick opening. The classic version goes:

     There once was a man from Nantucket

     Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
          And he said with a grin
          As he wiped off his chin,
     "If my ear were a c**t I would f**k it!"

TOS: And finally, a puzzler. A farmer loans his neighbor a 40lb weighing stone. But when the neighbor comes back the next day, he says, "I'm terribly sorry, it broke into four pieces." The farmer looks at the four pieces and says, "Actually you've done me a favor. With these I can now weigh anything from 1 pound to 40." So what are the weights of the four pieces?

B: That's absurdly easy. You figure it out.