Saturday, February 27, 2010

Four more years!

A smiling Beavershot acknowledges the cheers
of the huge crowd of two people and a dog.

Beavershot was this afternoon re-elected as Songkhla Hash GM after a surprisingly easy victory against stiff opposition. The vote was however marred by a low turnout amid accusations of widespread fraud which were dismissed by a victorious Beavershot as "A load of fuckin' rubbish".

The vote took place at an obscure runsite chosen by today's hare, Yardstick amid allegations that its remote location was a deliberate ploy to prevent hashers opposed to Beavershot from taking part in the election. The route to the run site involved a 28k drive, the final 4k of which was along a track described as 'challenging even in a Sherman tank'. Nevertheless two hashers and a stray dog were successful in reaching the run site and were presented with a list of 3 candidates to choose from. The final result was:

Beavershot 1
Kate Moss 1
Al 'Crawlback' Sigmund 1

Beavershot was then declared to have won based on the fact that Kate Moss was not a valid Hash name and that Crawlback was dead.
In his acceptance speech, Beavershot paid tribute to his campaign team and promised to bail them out as soon as he had raised enough money from Hash Cash. He thanked his opponents for a fair fight and promised that his second term would see a continuation of the policies he had failed to prevent in his first term. As he said,
"Where there is concord we will bring conflict, where there is beer let them eat cake, where there is peace we will fight them on the beaches"

Thursday, February 25, 2010

w.i.p Sadao Hash 7th anniversary run T-shirt art.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Three runs and an erection

This week's pertly erect (as opposed to partly correct) run information is:
SH3 run #1498, Saturday February 27th, 4:00 p.m.
Hare: Yardstick
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k and turn left for 10.9k (2.9k past Wat Keow Kloy) then turn left for 3.9k to the run site (U-turn and park on the road).

The run will be preceded by this year's AGM and erection where as well as electing one or more brand new or only partly used GMs, the posts of On Sec, Hash Haberdasher and Hash Nerd, all of which are either currently vacant or will become so shortly, need to be filled, and all other positions on the committee are potentially available.

Sunday's HH3 run is a Porky Sex/Beelzebub joint venture and the run site is at the old market at Pru Toh (old Hatyai road 10k, turn left for 2.5k run site on the left). Run starts at 4:00 p.m.

The next full moon run will happen on Tuesday 2nd March and by popular demand the run site will be at Egg Towers. This will be a blindfold-mystery tour A-B run. Slip on your silkette blindfold and relax in your very own .25 square meter space in the back of the Egg-up and let Only a Yolk transport you to a mysterious destination in the rubber, where she will firmly but gently shove you out and tell you to find your own bloody way back! Hopefully there will be some paper there to aid you and if Only a Yolk's feeling kind she should be there to goad you along in your stumbling journey back towards the B site. More details next week.

On! On!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Awful Truth

Sadao, January 3, 2010: Deep in a hashish-induced trance, Egghead prepares a young victim for live sacrifice.

It's probably time we come clean on what really happens every three months down in Sadao . . . the blazing fires in the jungle, the procession of zombies, the unspeakable live sacrifices, and that hideous talking goat head -- no, hang on, that's just Rotten Johnny.

Anyhow it's happening again, probably two weeks from today on Sunday, March 7th. There should even be a new Sadao Hash blog up by then, so stay tuned.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Is this Edward Scissorhands I see before me?

No, just another Johnny Depp Wannabe.
But you know we're a Hash when thirty plus people turn out at 6:00 p.m. on a Sunday evening to enjoy the beer and red wine at Palm Job's son's wedding; but at 6:00 a.m. this morning when Sticky Sweet had his pre-monastic haircut, how many hashers were there to enjoy the chanting? Well apart from the happy parents (and doesn't Stick Insect have any other shirts to wear?) there were, count them, ...1, 2, 3! not including the mad scissorman who managed to turn up just in time for the after haircut refreshments; which didn't include anything alcoholic. Maybe that was the problem!

I guess Sticky Sweet won't be running today, then.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Back to normal

A full complement of two buns err .. runs this week to savor, tolerate or simply complain about as they are probably both going to be Egg ventures.

Saturday's SH3 run is:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run # 1497, Saturday, February 20th, 2010; 4:00 pm.
Hares: Egghead, Only a Yolk and Peppered Pussy.
Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 16k and turn right. Go 2.1k and turn left and follow the track for 1.2k (i.e. quite a long way!) Park considerately somewhere in the vicinity of the run site. (If you are coming from Hatyai, go to the Nam Noi traffic lights and turn right then follow the road through Ta Kham for about 12k to the big tree, then go straight ahead [i.e. don't follow the road to the right] and go for a further 1.5k, then turn right and go 1.2k.

The HH3 run on Sunday (February 21st 4:00 pm) seems likely to be set by Kai Jeow in which case the run directions will be:

From the Ko Yo Intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k and turn left. Go 6k and turn left then follow the road for about 4k to the run site on the right. (Or you could take the old Yala road, turn right at 16k, go past the turn off for Saturday's run and go ahead for about 3.2k in which case the run site will be on the left.)

After that little lot the actually runs will be a piece of cake .. or two pieces of cake as it were.
On! On!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Run this week

Yes, you read right: run, as in one run, not two since the Chinese New Year festivities have necessitated the cancellation of the HH3 run on Sunday and at time of going to print it is not known if Union H3 are running. If they are, details will be given out on Saturday at the SH3 run, details of which are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run # 1496, Saturday 13th February 2010: 4:00 p.m.
Hares: Stick Insect, Sticky Sweet and Pak Ma
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left. Go 6.5k and turn left then go along the track for 300 meters to the run site under the water tower.

And don't forget, there's a quiz nite at the Office Bar this week hosted by our very own Schmukme Witherspoon (pictured below with the lovely City Tits) who promises that there will be no questions about concentration camps, nazi memorabilia, torture techniques or baseball... well actually I put the last one in so don't count on that! Anyway the fun starts at 8'ish and in addition to the free bowls of kosher pretzels that mein host, Carsten always lays on, there are rumors of free curry and chappatis supplied by Rocky the Indian who cooks a mean Bombay Potato. It's all in aid of the orphanage so please come along and support the Hash team who will be aiming to avenge their latest failure to assert their intellectual superiority over the nasty teachers who won last time round (but are in for a serious drubbing this week!)
Gong Xi Fat Choi!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Monday, February 8, 2010

Party on!

More to come . . . but meanwhile, give this one a click and see it in glorious SUPERsize!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

GM nominations

Without any further ado, here are the results of this afternoon's poll of preferred GM candidates:

1. Egghead (7 votes)
2. R2D2 (5 votes)
3. Gan Yao & Buk Toy (2 votes each)

A wide variety of candidates attracted one vote each, including Rotten Johnny, Sex Sprinter, Beavershot, Tutti Frutti, Stick Insect, Rotweiler, and Kate Moss.

Where do we go from here? Well, sounds like we should try talking either Egghead and/or R2D2 into this year's GM-ship!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Egghead's Greatest Challenge

For all of you spoilsports who have been hoping for an Egghead run shorter than the average feature-length film . . . don’t miss Hatyai Hash on Sunday! Egghead has taken on the astonishing challenge of setting a run that will start at 4 pm. and aims to deliver its runners to a wedding in Songkha at 6 pm. And not just any wedding, but that of the son of Hatyai H3 GM Palm Job. Screw up this one and it’d be like messing with the wedding of the daughter of Don Corleone.

So how, one has to wonder, will the resourceful Ovoid One handle this trickiest of assignments? Will he play it on the ragged edge like Rotten Johnny would, just setting one of his usual epic runs and hoping the whole thing plays out just this side of disaster? Or will he rein it in to the point that it’s an insipid parody of a real Egghead run? Will he nanny-hare us to death? Well, it's a live-hare run, so that's unlikely, but don't underestimate him. And, most importantly, will anyone get lost or fall hopelessly behind? Egghead runs seem to have that effect on people.

If there was ever a run that deserved live helicopter coverage . . . .

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

TOS turns 100!

Yes, a small milestone: With Egghead's (slightly vandalized) post immediately below this, The Online Scum has reached 100 posts. We're averaging about 15 per month, i.e. one every other day, which isn't bad, even if most of them are by just a couple posters. After all, most of our runs are set by just a handful of hares, so it shouldn't be any surprise.

In honor of this highly significant moment, we are proud to announce the "Labels" feature you see just to the right. Click on any of the labels and you'll immediately get a page full of all the corresponding posts. Try it for example with "photos".

Meanwhile if you've only posted once or twice - or not at all! - it's not too late to leave your mark on posterity by putting up any photos, rants, raves, rumors, jokes, or other contributions you may have. Just click on "New Post" in the upper righthand corner (if you don't see it you'll have to sign in). Sobriety not required when posting.

This weeks essential information reads:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers Run # 1495, Saturday February 6, 2010, 4:00 p.m.
Hares Sex Sprinter and Buk Toy
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 10k and turn right at or just before the Nam Noi traffic lights. Follow the road for about 1.5k to the run site on the right.

On Sunday evening Palm Job (aka Scud)'s son is getting married and Pi Noi has invited everyone from the Hash to come along and help him to celebrate the occasion and he has set aside 3 tables for hashers. It is all going to happen at the Viva Hotel in Songkhla and the dinner will start around 6:00 p.m. Please do come along to support Palm Job. He has even promised to lay on beer for the Hash tables instead of (or in addition to) the usual whisky!

To accomodate the wedding celebrations, the HH3 run this week will be a kai-sod live hare run chez oeuf. Details are:

HH3 run #(?)471, Sunday February 7, 2010, 4:00 p.m.
Hare: Kai Jeow
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 5.2k. Turn right through the temple arch and go about 200 meters then turn right and follow signs to the run site.

To make sure that everybody can get to the wedding reasonably quickly after the run, and because the run is a live hare affair, it will start promptly at 4:00 p.m. The run will not be more than an hour, in fact it should only take around 50 minutes and the circle will take place immediately all the runners are back. Thereafter, anyone who wants to can shower and change at the run site and go straight to the wedding.
On! On!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Union Hash celebrates #149

Sunday's run, as experienced from inside Egghead's pouch. Click for SUPERsize!

Well, not quite what we advertised. It was Union Hash's 149th run, not their 150th (their official name is "Union 49", after the year in which they defected, I mean, were formed). No t-shirts either, at least not unless you got lucky and found a token with the right number on it. And not a great run by our standards -- lots of road and no less than three entirely pointless up-one-side-down-the-other hills. And a paltry 57 minutes for the FRBs! What a contrast to Egghead's magnificently generous run of the day before.

But the circle was great, the food and beer plentiful, and the whole scene about as perfect as a sunny Sunday afternoon in Hatyai gets. And we saw some nice fresh running country back there, if we can ever tempt SH3 to come this far . . . .