Thursday, August 30, 2012


No! No! No! Not that sort of gassing; Gasing - it's a leafy suburb of Kuala Lumpur not far from Damansara; where they shoot monkeys (see ....Oh dear, this is getting worse not better.
Anyway, we have visitors this weekend and Saturday's run will be a joint run with Gasing Rangers H3, who are celebrating Merdeka (independence) Day in Hatyai and upwards of 40 runners will join our dwindling band, hopefully supplemented by some HH3 runners as well, in what promises to be our biggest run so far this year.

Details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1631, Saturday 1st September, 2012
Hare: Beavershot
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k then turn right at Wat Keow Kloy into Thanon Punnakan and go 4.5k to the runsite on the left.

AND... The Gasing guys will be holding a pub-crawl run in Songkhla on Friday evening (31st August). The run has been organised by the Eggs and Sticky and takes in Dr. Cool (6:00 p.m), then a short walk (6:30 'ish) to Sisuda Road; The Bonnie Bar (ETA 7:00 p.m), The Victory Bar (8 'ish) The Cosmos (8:30 or thereabouts) and finally at about 9:00 p.m they will be having dinner at the Office Bar. The cost of the whole evening including so much beer you could bathe in it, and the food is 500 Baht. If anyone would like to join the whole evening, please give Egghead or Only a Yolk a call (081 9691227 or 0896542351) so that we can tweak the food order. But if you just want to join the evening at any point just come along and buy your own beer etc. at any of the bars.

Late news just in: The HH3 run on Sunday (September 2nd, 4:30 p.m.) will be from about 1k further down Punnakan at Nicheow/Laad Duang's plant emporium. Not sure about the hares as Nicheow himself has suffered a family bereavement, and after the run, most of HH3 will be heading to the Wat to pay respects to Nicheow's father who died this morning.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Great run in Hatyai: lots of people did it

Maybe it's just a day thing, because the formula was the same: Long run exactly an hour, short run about the same. Not much in the serious hill department on the long run but a total ascent in the low 200's. Short run pretty much flat. Same hares give or take a few humans. Same sort of area give or take a couple of kilometers. Turn out: long run was completed by about 20, short run maybe by a few less including at least one of the long runners from Saturday.
We're missing something somewhere!

Great run in Songkhla; not many people did it.

But those hardy few who did ran for upwards of an hour with about 10 minutes covering the half dozen human runners on the long run and the span on the short run extending upwards to about and hour 40 to allow the whole Softy-Temp family including doggies to negotiate the 4.5k short run. The Long run was, for the record 6.1k nett, hit a maximum elevation of 175m and encompassed probably the best view we have seen for a while, which no one had a camera to record. Highlight of the afternoon was undoubtedly the live doggie-style sex that followed the run as Fu Fu finally got a good seeing-to courtesy of Alex the Chihuahua, who stuck to the job manfully despite some ribald comments from the crowd. Not sure about Fu Fu's status on the fertility front (i.e. whether her wedding tackle has already suffered the fate of Beaver's) but if there are to be puppies, better get your request in now as they are likely to be great Hash dogs!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Posted on behalf of [REDACTED]

This adorable illustration for this weekend's runs comes from [REDACTED], a veteran hasher who is having problems posting photos on his own. Now I can't be sure exactly what the problem is, since as all-powerful website administrator, I get different menus than you do. But in theory you should be able to simply click on the button on the upper right of the screen (?) for "new post". (On my menu it's a little orange pencil.) You will then see a row of icons across the top, one of which is a little picture in a frame. Click on that and you should be able to add your own photo, drawing, or even video. Egghead does it* at least once a week and as far as I know he has no special privileges. And as always, if you're not yet an Online Scum contributor, leave a comment here and we'll make you one. You will become part of a select few, and your life will take on new meaning and significance.

*Posting photos, that is. These days he's also setting a run pretty much once (or twice) a week too, which is lucky for us but probably not optimal for him.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Double yolk

Not sure how it happened, but the Egg family are responsible for both runs this weekend - the mutts have already been out and terrorized a few innocent rubber tappers in preparation for Saturday and Peppered Pussy is in training to do the same on Sunday.
Venues are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers, run #1630, Saturday 25th August 2012, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Egghead and canine chums
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 6.7k to the run site on the left.
Sunday's HH3 run is from along the Khao Ron road, just before it heads uphill. From Hatyai, take a right at the Nam Noi traffic lights and go about 11k, then turn left into the Khao Ron road. After 500 meters, bear left away from the village towards the hill and go a further 1k to the runsite on the right.
From Songkhla... It's probably easiest to follow Saturday's directions (above) but instead of turning into the run site, continue along the road for about 2k and turn right at the next crossroads, for about another 2k until you meet the Khao Ron road, then turn right and go 1k to the runsite on the right. The hares are Moo Sahb and Full Moon with the dawgies who wish to remain anonymous.
Expect announcements this weekend about a full moon run or it's absence in the coming week, and a pub-run being organised for Gasing Rangers H3 from KL on Friday 31st August in Songkhla.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Shoot me, baby!

Among the topics that arose after Saturday's run was the question of whether long-range snipers have to correct their aim for the effects of the earth's rotation. Fortunately The Online Scum didn't have to look far for an answer: the redoubtable Cecil Adams ("The world's most intelligent human") has already tackled the subject here. The short answer: yes, but not much.

The cause is our old friend the Coriolis Effect, which you probably already know from the question of whether water drains clockwise or counter-clockwise depending on whether you're north or south of the equator. (Cecil provides a definitive answer to that one too, here.) Put simply, bullets travel in a straight line, but objects on the earth's surface don't. Cecil's example, at a latitude somewhat north of us, shows that at a range of 1000 yards, a bullet will deflect about three inches to the right. More important is the vertical deflection: if aiming due west, for example, it will also appear to deflect about six inches upwards (due to the target's drop by that amount as the earth rotates).

And yes, despite claims to the contrary, most bullets travel at supersonic speeds. Sniper rounds apparently have a typical muzzle velocity of around 900 m/s, almost three times the speed of sound (350 m/s). The idea is that the bullet reaches the target before it has slowed to transonic speed (mach 0.8-1.2), where strange things can happen to its trajectory. One effect of this, of course, is that the target only hears the shot a few seconds after being hit.

Run hot!

At last, an explanation for our, ahem, extraordinary levels of fitness: research has now shown that exercising in heat can be even more effective in increasing performance than exercising at high altitude (which is now standard among top-class distance runners worldwide). Read about it here.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Sex Sprinter beats that!

Not just one, but two maps from Sex Sprinter, and if one were of a mind they could be joined up, as Sunday's sexy persons run is just a couple of klicks closer to the Nam Noi lights, at the dam.

Eat yer heart out Google Earth!

Beat that, Sex Sprinter!

Saturday's SH3 run is being set by the man responsible for all those annoyingly intuitive maps that help everyone get to HH3 on Sundays and may explain why they are getting about 3 times the turnout that SH3 manages every week. But strangely although Sex Sprinter along with the Hash's answer to Robin, Buk Toy is the hare this week, no map has arrived to grace this missive.

Happily we just happen to have a Google Earth image readily to hand, which is unlikely to help you reach the runsite unless you are already familiar with both the area and also with the peculiar view of the world which Google Earth tends to present, preserving as it does such strange features of reality as scale, perspective and bendy roads. So, since most of us seem to be above such sordid details, here are the misdirections in classic Hash notation with distances accurate to a 3-beer standard:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run # 1629, Saturday, August 18th, 2012, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Sex Sprinter and Buk Toy
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for about 10k to the traffic lights at Nam Noi and turn left for about 3.5k, then turn right and follow signs to the runsite near the chicken farm by the other big tree.

Also absent this week so far is any information about where HH3 will be running on Sunday, which will no doubt emerge shortly and will be announced on Saturday, or if one of those proper maps with the world reduced to a driver's eye view should surface it will be disseminated in a manner similar to that in which you are viewing the current .... (this sentence has gone on long enough and is being terminated to avoid further torture to the reader!)

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

But why stop below the waist?

As long as we're snipping, why not go for the second most favorite organ too? The benefits are manifold: less needless worry about the state of the world, no more time wasted on reading books, a newfound appreciation for Thai television, and an undiminished ability to run the hash!

Hey hang on a minute . . . perhaps we already have some post-ops among us?

A quick snip and all your unwanted progeny worries are behind you....

..and it's so easy you can still make the run on Saturday - I know I did (and swam across a bacteria infested klong!)
See you there Beaver!

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Kao Sam Nom: the long and the short of it

As announced, a long short run (3.7k) and a short long run (5.5k, but nearer 7k if you hit all the F's and X's). A multi-species pack of 20 beings equally divided between man and dog tackled the long run with Sex Long-cutter bringing up the rear in about an hour twenty after spectacularly failing to connect at the sixth check, then disappearing off the radar for 1/2 an hour much in the way that Beaver did not so long ago on the same hill. 
But all credit to Superpig and Peppered Pussy who together conquered the short run, which went almost as far up (99m) as the long run (106m), in about an hour and a half. Highlight of the afternoon for the canine runners was the mud-wallow at the final check with only Harram and the mutant poodles turning down the opportunity to immerse themselves in the evil red stuff which just won't wash out. Hard to say what the highlight for the humans was, but the following are some suggestions: 
  1. Sex Sprinter coming in last, 
  2. Yardstick returning for 1 week only, 
  3. The availability of San Miguel Light on the beer truck 
  4. Sex Sprinter getting lost, 
or have we had that already?

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Eccentrica who?

Gallumbits of course!
None the wiser? Well look at the cleavage or should we say cleavages - that will give you a clue as to where we are headed on Saturday as the lady in question has 3... tits, not too put too fine a point on it.

Full details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1628, Saturday August 11th 2012, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Egghead, Harram, White Meat etc.
Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection, take the old Yala road for 14k and turn right, then follow the road for about 2.5 k to the runsite on the left  (If you are coming from Hatyai you should take a right at the Nam Noi traffic lights, then follow the road for about 14k, keeping the big tree on your right at Ban Sai Kao, to the run site on the right.)

Sunday's HH3 run this weekend will feature neither triple breasted ladies of the night nor, sadly, the pussies who set us such a fine run last weekend, and as far as is known this week's run will not culminate, as did last Sunday's, in a demonstration of elephant mating protocol. But it will be set by Sex Tsunami and will take place somewhere near the Gamling Reservoir. Songkhlites should take Th. Poonakan for about 9k from Wat Keow Kloy (old Hatyai road 4.7k, left for 8k, turn right) and look for a sign on the left somewhere before the convention center at PSU.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

And they always seemed like such nice girls!

Hatyai H3 crosses some sort of Rubicon this Sunday (August 5, 2012) with it's first pussy run, featuring sex, sex and more sex, in the shape of Sexy Girl, Union Sex and Sexy Cook who are doing the damage from the-run-site-where-Kitty-pushed-the-kid-off-the-back-of-a-truck  (old Hatyai road, 11.5k run site on the left).
It's all downhill from here.... Be there at 4:30 p.m. or risk being declared sane!

Friday, August 3, 2012

Hash appeal: Please help my dad

Dear Hashers,
My name is Ploy and I have a problem: my dad is a mutant hemhorroid. He only has a behind. Most people only know my Dad from behind, 'cos that is the only bit of him they see 'cos he is faster than everyone else (except Robocop and he doesn't count 'cos he's a cyborg). This Saturday my dad will be setting the run at SH3. Please help my dad by coming to the Hash and help him to grow some front as well.

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1627
Saturday, August 4th, 2012, 4:30 p.m.
Hare: Laad Duang 
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection, take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k. Turn left for 8k and then left just past Wat Keow Kloy and follow the road for about 1k to the runsite.

Thursday, August 2, 2012


In case you hadn't heard, Klaus was admitted to Mor Or hospital today with a respiratory infection and is a bit poorly. He is in the RCU on the 10th floor. Pranee is looking after him along with the wonderful doctors and nurses at PSU who seemed to have stabilized him by this evening after a few scares earlier on today. Pranee needs all the support she can get at this time. Give her a call or better drop in and give her a hug.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

A higher class of tramp juice

Oh Beaver! 
Here it is in all it's glory. Originally created in 1950 (a very auspicious year!) in honour of Winston Churchill, it is "... a full bodied, fruity tasting, strong lager with a good clean bitterness" and as befits Winnie's tastes, boasts "...cognac flavours among its tasting notes". Oh, and it has 9% alcohol, by volume as well. 
We’ll be raising a can to civilization’s saviour tonight. Will you be joining us?