Sunday, March 31, 2013

Run 1660 Rehash

Yesterday's long run in all it's glory. Apart from various accusations of nanny haring (possibly true) the pack managed to finish the run pretty well together in about 1 hour. Beavershot managed to finish well ahead of everyone else, but I'm not sure if that was just due to running really fast, or by using some other devious means of bypassing some long of the long loops and "F"s towards the end of the run. Some run statistics were total length 5.4kms, total ascent 280m, maximum height 184m. This compares to the short run, as live hared by our outstanding Hare Raiser and verbalist, R2D2, with a total length of 4.2km and maximum height of 124m. Does this mean, the long runners are becoming wimpier, or the short runners are becoming tougher? Never mind, I'm pretty sure everyone enjoyed themselves going by the length and girth of the circle afterwards.

PS. I'm still waiting for any donations of past run tracks for 2013 which anyone may have in their possession. Not naming any names, Egghead, Beavershot & Sex Sprinter, but you know who you are!!

Friday, March 29, 2013

Sensible directions

This week's SH3 run details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run # 1660, Saturday March 30th, 2013
Hares: Yardstick and R2'verbal diarrhea'D2
Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 8k and turn right before Ban Dan School. Go 2.5k to the run site at the end of the bitumen road.
Hatyai H3's run on Sunday (31st March, 4:15 p.m.)  is behind the Gam Ling Reservoir: take Thanon Poonakan from Wat Keoh Kloy (old Hatyai road 4.6k, left 8k, and turn right) and go approxiately 9k. Look for a hash sign on the left and follow signs to the run site. The hares are Sex Star and Sexy Girl.
End of message.
(Can I be silly again now Mummy?)

Thursday, March 28, 2013

The world's toughest run

WARTBURG, Tenn. — On Friday night, in the Cumberland Mountains of eastern Tennessee, 28 men and 7 women will lie in tents half asleep in anticipation of hearing a conch shell being blown at Big Cove Campground in Frozen Head State Park. When they hear the call, which will arrive sometime between 11 p.m. that night and 11 a.m. Saturday, they will know they are 60 minutes from the start of an ordeal once referred to as a “satanic running adventure.”

It is a 100-mile footrace that some say is actually 130 miles or more, through unmarked trails that have names like Meth Lab Hill, Bad Thing and Leonard’s Buttslide and that are choked with prickly saw briers. Temperatures often range from freezing to blistering on the same day, and there is a cumulative elevation gain of more than 60,000 feet, or the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest twice from sea level ...

Read more here.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Full Moon 95

...or maybe 96, depending on whether or not you count run 49½, but the relentless drive towards 100 runs continues tonight (27th March: 7:00 p.m.) at Napong water tower (From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 6k then left for 300 meters) The hare is Sex Sprinter and the usual stuff applies - bring a hand light and some food if you feel like it. Beer on sale at 3 cans for 100 Baht. 
Be there!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Shock Saturday run developments!

The following email just came in from R2D2, who has hereby for once and for all proven himself the true master of misdirection. Egghead, off somewhere boozing it up on Soi Cowboy, will be totally blindsided by this unexpected and overwhelming challenge to his previously untouchable status. Read it and weep!

In a last minute decision by a group of almost insiders and wannabe cronies, it was decided that there may not be enough competent hares (Are there ever?) attending this coming run #1659, Saturday, March 23, 2013 to be able to negotiate the required hare hand-offs for a successful “relay run” and Sex Sprinter has stepped into the breech as a Last Minute Hare.  For his convenience, we have changed the designated run site as per the usual convoluted Sex Sprinter cryptic map, which is a little less cryptic for those coming from Had Yai.  For those coming from Songkhla, I submit the following:

Plan A (with the start not shown on the above diagram):

Proceed South from the Kao Seng Intersection for about 14 km. to Toong Wung Market (that’s the clear and easy part).

If it is possible to turn right and cut through the market (unlikely as it will be market day), proceed through  that and pass straight through an intersection, whereupon you will likely pass Sai Kao Temple on the right and eventually come to the “tree in the middle of the road” as depicted to the upper right of Sex Sprinter’s diagram above.

Turn right at the “big tree” (only big if you hit it) and go a couple of km to just past the Sai Kao Resort on the right, turning into the road to the run site on the left.

You should then see the run site somewhere or there will be hares wandering around waving their hands or laying paper or something.

Plan B (more likely passable, but also with the start not shown on the above diagram):

Follow step 1. as per plan B but pass the Toong Wung villiage market for another kilometer or two and if nothing else turn right at about 16.5 km. from the Kao Seng intersection at the Koon Tong Temple.

At the first major intersection (which will be at the other side of the aforementioned market) turn left, which should put you on the road past the Sai Kao Temple leading to the “tree in the middle of the road” as per step 2. above.

Follow as per steps 3. and 4. above

Plan C:

Take the Old Had Yai road to Had Yai and try to follow Sex Sprinter’s diagram as to where to turn left at the Nirn Sine Temple (maybe 4.7 km. from the five way Gaw Yaw Intersection?) on the way to Kao Gloy Temple (but don’t go that far).

At the Tha Kam Village turn left at the intersection and proceed to the run site, turning right off the road.

Having missed the turn but seeing Sai Kao Resort on the left, make a u-turn back to the run site on the left, hoping no one sees you do it.

Also having missed the Sai Kao Resort, drive 2 km. to the “big tree in the middle of the road”, make a u-turn around it and come back, having a higher chance of no one seeing you do this.
Saunter casually into the run site.

Plan D:

Take a trip to Had Yai and before getting there turn left at the Nam Noi traffic light.

Pass straight through the Tha Kam Village intersection and follow steps 3 through 5 as necessary as for Plan C.

Plan E:

Take this as an excuse to go shopping in Had Yai, timing your return so that you can turn right at the Nam Noi traffic lights.

Follow step 2. as per Plan D: above

Plan F:

Drive around hopelessly in circles, finally in utter panic phoning everyone on your mobile phones telephone list (assuming that they are all SH3’ers) for directions.

Receive completely crossed up directions from each of the respondents to your panic stricken messages that are a mix of all of the above plans in no particular order and combined with directions to the old run site on a completely different road, finally arriving at the run site well after all the festivities have taken place, including many rounds for Divine Beverage at your expense.

Regret not taking the Plan G option, which is the one and only Safe and Sure Plan:

Plan G:

Calmly drive or find transport to the Bai Miang Restaurant on Sadao Road Songkhla (or we sometimes do pick-ups within the main town of Songkhla – 081-990-8482).

Calmly board the Conveyance known as the Beer Truck according to the directions from your Conductor and erstwhile Butler.

Calmly sit in Style and Comfort in the designated Conveyance whilst your pilot, Bung the Beer Truck Driver #3, navigates the best of the above Plans.

Calmly partake of free water or soda, or purchase that Divine Beverage (as long as you like not-yet-quite-cold Leo Beer) as served by your Conductor.

Calmly descend from that Conveyance at the end of your Journey (if you can still stand) and partake in the festivities.

At the end of the festivities, calmly return to Bai Miang as you departed.

Optional inexpensive Divine Beverage (in large bottles) as well as excellent food is available at the end of your Journey at the Bai Miang Restaurant giving you an opportunity to calmly contemplate doing it again at the Had Yai Hash on Sunday.

Do note that there is no Celestial Conveyance provided by the Had Yai Hash.

[Note from Der Bloggenfuerher: Traditionally instead of saying "going shopping Hatyai" we prefer to say "take a refreshing bubble bath at the Pink Lady". Just a suggestion for future posts.]

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Tough but fair!

Yesterday's Kii Leum-Perky-Mucky Pup run in all it's glory: 6.2k, maximum elevation 185m, total ascent unknown but probably in the low 300's. By any standards this was a tough run, as bits of the countryside had to all intents and purposes closed up. But with lots of ways now open to get up this hill from the Eastern side, the western approaches and the formerly good tracks running North to South are just becoming impassible. Full marks to Kii Leum and Perky for persevering and finding a way through, five out of ten for technical merit, zero for artistic impression!  As usual Sex Sprinter lead us home in 1 hour 20 minutes, but the biggest smile at the end came from Superpig, determinedly demonstrating that she is up for the hill walk in April by successsfully completing the full long run in close to 2 hours.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Family Sex Tsunami? Nnnnnngggggg!

Sex Sprinter's maps become more surreal each week. But this one does seem to suggest a slight change of sin rite, err... run slut, err... run site. Start looking for the... place where the run is going to start from about 3 - 4k down Poonakan on the left hand side beyond Wat Keow Kloy, before the football pitch, not after it.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Guinness hillwalk Songkhla Hatyai, not necessarily in that order.

First things first: Tomorrow night, Thursday, there's another of our very successful Hash-night-outs happening, which this week will take place at the Irish Pub in Hatyai from about 7:00 p.m. Jim will be coming along and fielding questions about the hill walk of which details are now available (see below) and the final design for the Songkran T-shirt will be presented for criticism/amendment before being handed over to Jim for production. So do try to come along.
Saturday's SH3 details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1658, Saturday 16th March 2013, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Kii Leum, Perky and Mucky Pup
Misdirections: from the Ko Yo intersection take the new Yala road for 3.5k to the run site on the left.
Sunday's HH3 run is down Poonakan way and is courtesy of Tsunami and (nnnnggggg!) Damage.
Official misdirections from Songkhla are:
From the Ko Yo Intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k then right (at Wat Keow Kloy into Th. Poonakan) for about 5k, then left for 300 meters to the run site on the left.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Pussies on high

The pussies triumphed again yesterday as they managed to do what Stick Insect and Kii Leum failed to do last year, successfully guiding the pack round the right way up the hill from the old wood yard, now converted temporarily into a water station by those nice people turning the new Yala road into a super-highway. 227 meters at its summit, the run involved about 400 meters of climbing. Perhaps the most notable achievement therefore was not that the pack successfully negotiated all that up, but that the hares did, including as they did, Temporary Relief, Superpig and Peppered Pussy, none of whom are usually to be found at such dizzying heights. A try-out for the walk in April, perhaps? Anyway, total length was about 5.5k which took Sex Sprinter and Beaver about 56 minutes with the aid of some inspired check avoidance. Those laboriously following paper took upwards of an hour, with R2D2 and Ork Dork clocking up a creditable hour-forty.
The new GM was rather less successful in negotiating a rowdy circle and was faced with repeated calls for the return of the cube, but another Hash-night-out on Thursday was mooted the venue being decreed as the Irish pub in Hatyai.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

The return of Brainiac

Even just the photos of the three stooges distinguished committee members in the post a little below this one should suggest the lively discourse that ensued the other evening, including a number of topics not strictly related to the hash. And so naturally a few small factual disputes arose. Thus it's time again for Brainiac, the fount of all hash knowledge. (But not hash wisdom -- that's the domain of The Cube®.)

First the easy one: what's the population of Malaysia? Softcock said 60 million (pfft!). Egghead countered with 20 million. Beaver, who lives in the big city and has daily access to that wonderful rag The Star, said 30 million. According to the CIA (who else?), the estimate as of July 2012 was 29,179,952. It pays to read The Star!

Now the harder one, for linguistic geeks only. Noticing that Bai Meang's menu spelled phở as "fir", Beaver noted that vowel was actually a schwa. Egghead, our resident IPA nerd, said he recalled some sort of mark after the /ə/, suggesting it was a "long" vowel. Well, yes, said Beaver, long duration. No, said Egghead, a different vowel quality as well. You can see how exciting these conversations can become.

Even Brainiac can't provide a definitive answer for this one. He can tell you that phở is rendered in the IPA as [fəː˧˩˧]. The last symbol just means rising tone, so the vowel is /əː/, i.e. a "long" schwa. But long simply in duration or in vowel height as well? Even the experts can't seem to make up their minds. From the Wikipedia entry on Vietnamese phonology:

/ə/ vs. /əː/: Han (1966) suggests that short /ə/ and long /əː/ differ in both height and length, but that the difference in length is probably the primary distinction. Thompson (1965) seems to suggest that the distinction is due to height (as he does for all Vietnamese vowels), although he also notes the length difference.

Perhaps the more basic problem here is what we mean when we say "schwa". From The Dialect Blog:

As indicated, schwa is traditionally represented by the IPA symbol ə (an upside-down “e”), signifying a vowel pronounced smack dab in the middle of the vowel space. As any English phonetician will tell you, however, this a tad misleading as far as English is concerned. Our particular brand of schwa in fact represents a number of vowels which differ depending on the words they appear in.

The most famous example is the minimal pair roses vs. Rosa's (see this fascinating paper). The latter is a "true" schwa, while the former is generally closer to /ɨ/. Indeed, the Thai vowel เ◌อะ, which is commonly understood to be a schwa (to the point of being represented by ə in most transcription systems), is technically in fact /ɤ/. While many phoneticians will tell you that sound doesn't even exist in English, anybody with an open mind and a good ear can hear it in words such as "probably". But by this point even Brainiac is getting a bit confused. And if you've read this far, you're as big a geek as we are. 

Nice pussy: the map.

Finally, some cartographic confirmation of the location of today's run site. Note that access to the site is from the new Yala road, not via the road to Ban Ko Tao as in the past.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Nice pussy?

Our ladies will be serving us tomorrow, with a run, likely some food and if rumor is correct some free beer as well. Details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run # 1657. Saturday March 9th, 2013: 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Crackwurst, Superpig, Only a Yolk, Temporary Relief, Peppered Pussy and Handjob
Misdirections:From the Ko Yo intersection take the new Yala road for 7.5k and turn left into the runsite (at the old woodyard).
Sunday's HH3 outing is courtesy of Sex Au Au and Sex See.
No problem following that then! But just in case your disinter information function has gone awol, here are the misdirections in Hashpeak:
From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 10k and turn left at the Nam Noi traffic lights. Go about 5.3k and turn right, then follow the road. Start looking for the run site after about 500 meters, but don't be too surprised if it's a bit further than that!

Your committee at work

You've no doubt heard those lurid rumors about SH3 Mismanagement Committee meetings . . . the double magnums of Bollinger champagne, the Arab dancing girls, the giant hookahs filled with illicit substances. 
Well, sorry, that's total nonsense. (Those are the meetings of The Cronies©.) Mismanagement events are a sober, serious affair, bringing together the finest minds of the hash in an atmosphere of efficient, businesslike deliberation. 
So it was last night at Bai Meang, decisively setting the hash agenda for the coming months, though I forget the exact details. Any other questions?

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

How people find us

Looking again into the strange mix of people who find their way onto this site, here are the top search terms that brought visitors to The Online Scum in the past month. A few conclusions we can draw: 1) our runs are definitely getting too easy if "ladies tea party" is referring people here; 2) despite Stick Insect's complaints about all the dog-humping photos on this blog, look for yourself -- they're bringing in the traffic!; and 3) between us, HJ and I are attracting about a third of all visitors here, or at least our names are. So there!

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

W**k is a f**r letter w**d

It's true! w**k is to blame for the delay in making this available. 
6.4k with all the falsies etc, closer to 5.5 without, another outbreak of beer-token-mania saw the fit young things blitz this in 52 minutes though most of them then gave the beer away! Even the slower long runners were shepherded in by the sweeping hare in around an hour and the bulk of the short runners got back after the long run was done and dusted, managing to pick up a few tokens along the way.  Maximum height was just less than 100 meters with the total being about 220m. A fitting tribute to the late lamented Sadao H3.

GPS conspiracy?

Normally Egghead is the most forthcoming of hares with his GPS tracks. So why has he drawn a veil of silence over Sunday's run? Has he discovered a secret aspect of Khao Long that he wants to keep to himself? Or will he simply claim that he is 'busy', as if anything in his life is more important than haring? Kitties want to know!

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Today's run

Pretty much the standard stats: 8km including all false trails, or about 7.5km without them. Total ascent of less than 300m, with a measured high point of just 176m. First back was Sex Sprinter in 0:56. The fast pace was blamed on Stick Insect going animal in his pursuit of the beer tokens I put out in tribute to the memory of Sadao Hash. There were 27 of them but we ended up with 48 cans of donated Guinness and Leo and damned if a half dozen or so of us didn't drink them all. Egghead claims he's recycling them tomorrow (the tokens, not the beers) so just in case you haven't had your weekend's fill of piss, now you know where to go.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Ten years after: Rehash of Sadao H3 #1

The following is the complete original rehash of Sadao Hash Run #1 as it appeared in The Scum, the legendary Songkhla Hash publication, in March 2003. Photos by Ken Straiton.

A Twist of Fate

Curious indeed how it is that the most momentous upheavals in human history can so often be traced back to such humble and apparently insignificant origins. The Great Indian Mutiny . . . from a rumour of animal fat on rifle cartridges. World War I . . . from the assassination of an obscure archduke. The Sadao Hash . . . from Rotten Johnny's casual stopovers in Dannok on his weekly Sunday commute from Songkhla to Sungai Petani.

Friendly and welcoming, Dannok struck RJ as an ideal venue for an occasional get-together with a few dozen Hashing friends from both sides of the Thai-Malaysia border. A bit of a run, a few jars of beer, perhaps a look at one of the sophisticated and tasteful cabaret acts at any of the glittering local nightclubs. What harm could possibly come of that?

And so it was that, once again, a clash of cultures and the innocent desire to "have a good time" led to chaos, violence, and mass atrocity. And it was the geopolitical fate of the poor little town of Dannok – like Austria-Hungary  in 1914, like Poland in 1939 – to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Arrives the Baleful Day

The first indication I had of trouble came about a week before the event, in the form of an email from RJ bearing the subject line "S.O.S." Already 220 confirmed registrations, he said, and no signs of slowing. It seems we had seriously underestimated our fellow Hashers' hunger for a really big, really irresponsible party. Everywhere from Koh Samui to KL -- the better part of a thousand kilometers -- there were beer fumes and blood lust in the air.

Even so, I wasn't ready for the sight that awaited me on driving into Dannok early in the afternoon of March 2nd. Below a gaily painted welcome banner milled a large, surly crowd of louts of all creeds, colors, and races. They wore the ragtag uniforms of a dozen tribes, from sleek yellow Malaysian racing singlets to the bright orange "Run for Peace" shirts of the Hatyai Hash. The latter featured pictures of George Dubya and Saddam that made them look like Beavis and Butthead. Quite realistic, really.

Many of these degenerates were already clutching beers and, judging by their slurred attempts at speech, lurching movements, drooling, etc., had been doing so at least since dawn, if not the night before. A quick trip around the local hotels confirmed that many must have come down early: there wasn't a room left in the whole town. I was almost reduced to bribing the day manager to slip me into the infamous K.Y. House before discovering that the Songkhla Hash had booked a block of rooms at Jojo Court, our usual recce HQ, and that a few of them hadn't arrived yet. I never did find out whose room I stole.

Back on Soi 7 things were getting ugly. RJ and the indefatigable Galon were besieged at the registration desk in the lobby of the Hollywood Hotel. The hotel staff, inexplicably, were passing out bread rolls. The mob was spilling out of the lobby into the street and even up the stairs of a number of neighboring establishments, much to the alarm of their tender young female hospitality staff. I can't swear to it, but I think I might have seen one or two Hashers disappear into the nether regions of these establishments. No doubt they needed to pee.

Onto the Highway of Death

Just when it seemed that mass anarchy would envelop the entire town, Rotten Johnny, Bogeh/Duckfart, and Bapa Ayam appeared, like a three-headed deity, atop the stairs of the Hollywood/No Bra entertainment complex. The crowd jeered. RJ attempted to use his bullhorn. More jeering. The GMs waved some squares of paper, which apparently had something to do with the run. Nobody could hear a damn thing. Excited gesturing from the GMs. In short, utter chaos. But then what else had we been expecting?

At this point the GMs gave up and disappeared, and the mob, like some giant primeval creature, surged off down the soi  and across the Pan-Asian Highway, effectively halting for several minutes all traffic on the Kra Peninsula. Standing on the far side of the road was our transport: four towering ten-wheel dump trucks, freshly emptied of their dirt and now ready for a really nasty load.

And what a sight to behold, Hashers of all sizes and shapes (though mostly in the XL-XXL range) clambering up the sides of those trucks in full battle cry. For many it was to be the main physical exertion of the day. Off roared the trucks, through what we must reluctantly describe as the sleazy side of town (you'd never find our Hash meeting there!), the sight of which seemed to drive the assembled multitude into a frenzy of leering, shouting, waving, horn-honking, etc. We're lucky we didn't get shot at.

No sooner did the trucks turn the last corner out of town than everyone did something very strange: they all shut up. For ahead we could see the road snaking over the crest of a ridiculously steep hill and then disappearing into what looked to be a vast mining pit. Nervous glances passed between the now silent Hashers. This might be a serious run after all.

On and on went that drive, the trucks grinding up the hills and creaking down the backs of them, everyone hanging on for dear life. To our right, along the ridgeline, snaked the barbed wire border fence. Jungle, razor wire, men herded into dump trucks . . . was I the only one have River Kwai flashbacks? Evidently not, because by the time we finally reached and disboarded at the run site -- it felt about halfway to Betong -- there was a mad scramble back onto the trucks as soon as someone announced that they were returning to a "short run" site. If you were among them, please identify yourself at the next Sadao Hash and you may be eligible for a free Hello Kitty apron.

The Run
Once the dust settled we realized that we had only about 30 hounds ready to start the long run. Fortunately they included several of the young, gung-ho Hatyai types who we can usually count on to trot off and find checks while we of a more, uh, contemplative bent strike thoughtful poses around the 360, identify new plant species, examine our latest skin rashes, etc.

RJ, as lead hare, was appropriately vague about the exact number of checks and other hazards. And so no choice but off we went, up and down a series of long rolling hills that were probably steeper than they looked. Add to that the dusty, broken ground and the layers of old leaves as slippery as banana peels. And perhaps, even to macho Hashing icons like ourselves, the lingering psychological effect of that endless ride out there. It really did feel like we were a long ways from anywhere.

In any case there seemed to be a general sense of relief at every check and any other excuse to stop. And even the gung-ho types tended to linger around the 360s, looking at RJ the way a hungry mutt tries to beg a bone. But he of course wasn't talking. This at least had the effect of keeping everyone together most of the way, which was just as well since of course nobody had the faintest idea where we were or where we were going.

In time, quite a bit of time actually, we came upon the short run paper and some of the short run Hashers. And then out from the rubber and into the quaint garbage-strewn outskirts of town, finally up a broad concrete road under a ceremonial Muslim arch. Left turn on the Pan-Asian Highway and a triumphant romp down the hill to the Time Bottle Bar, where beer and beer girls awaited.

The Circle

For a while, guzzling our cold Changs and feeling the admiring gazes of the street's female denizens at their first sight of the Hashing Male in all his après-run glory, those of us on the ice list had a fleeting hope that we wouldn't have to suffer the indignity of a circle. Perhaps Hash Host Sakorn had forgotten to get the ice. Maybe someone would realize that it was all just too out of control even to attempt a circle. Hope does spring eternal.

Well, dream on. There was ice and there was a circle and it was utter mayhem. I got more khlong water up my nose than beer down my throat, and I got off lightly compared to some of the poor bastards they dragged out there. There is a certain kind of Malaysian Hasher who is a holy terror when the ice work begins, and we had dozens of them. The people of Dannok have seen a great deal in the few years since they've become Thailand's new boom border town. But you could tell from the way they hid in the doorways that they'd never seen anything like this.

Dark Mysteries
One of the mysteries of Hashing is how you can be running along one moment with five or six other people, and then turn a corner or take the tiniest of shortcuts and suddenly . . . where did everybody go? You never see them again. It's as if the jungle just swallows them up.
Sunday night in Dannok was a bit like that. Strolling down a colorful soi one minute with a gang of mates, and then suddenly finding yourself alone . . . well, not alone, but not with them, and not anywhere you've ever been before or could ever get back to again. Couldn't have been the beer, could it?

Anyhow, I have been assured that I had an excellent night on the town, culminating in some sort of giant disco about the size of Wembley Stadium with music at about the volume of the Space Shuttle liftoff. Wherever you ended up in the jungle, I trust you had an equally rewarding evening.

[We can report on at least a few Songkhla Hashers. There was a surprisingly good seafood dinner at the dubious “Dannok Restaurant”, at which Dungbeetle demonstrated his mastery of Thai by ordering a soup bowl. They brought him a bottle of beer. Fukawi’s main mission seemed to be to find roti, though he was spotted later at the Winner Café, sitting on one of those sleazy Japanese airport VIP lounge sofas with a couple of the guest relations officers. Stick Insect kept turning up like a bad penny, in an increasingly agitated state. When last seen at the Hollywood he was about to do the unspeakable – chat up a couple Songkhla Hash girls. Rotten Johnny actually carried on after the Space Shuttle disco closed at 2 am., setting himself up at a table on the street, surveying the aftermath of the carnage he had wrought. “A great day!” said someone to Khun Sakorn, the long-suffering mine host of the Time Bottle Bar. Sakorn gave him a look of infinite fatigue and said, “At least it’s over.”]

Obsessive morons or the hashing elite?

Indeed, who are these dedicated, discriminating readers of our obscure website? All we know is that here's where they come from, over the past week.