Tuesday, July 29, 2014

The Greenwich underground independence in wonderland Turkish marijuana run

With last weeks direction disaster firmly in mind, the hare this week has embarked on a lengthy preparation and editorial process to ensure that this week's misdirections are as accurate as the genre allows rather than, as was the case last week, as vague and confusing as we have come to expect.
Saturday's SH3 run is therefore graced by an expertly produced map which is only slightly distorted to emphasize the final approach to the runsite, but is otherwise completely accurate.

Details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1731, Saturday, August 2nd 2014, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Egghead and other members of the Egg clan
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 5.2k (bearing right with the road at 4k) then turn right through the temple arch at Borogam and go ahead 200m before turning right keeping the temple compound wall on your left for 300m. Turn left and go 60m* then turn right and park near the cowshed. (*If you are a beer truck or on a motorbike go ahead a further 40m at this point and turn right into the gate of Egg Towers then follow the drive for about 70m to the house trying not to run down any cats, dogs, chickens goats or young brats who may be loitering there.)

The run will be followed by a casual gathering to celebrate a number of significant anniversaries which occur on 2nd August including the adoption of Greenwich Meantime, the publication of Alice in Wonderland and the fall of the Ottoman Empire. (Thanks to Brainiac for the usual accuracy of his information on these points.)

To placate the beer maiden, beer will be on sale at the beer truck at a specially sponsored price of 25 Baht per can courtesy of the hare, prior to and during the circle which will take place more or less as soon as the runs are completed and before the food is served. Thereafter beer will be free as will any other alcohol you care to bring along to share. Contributions of food also much appreciated, but OaY is already planning a feast.

Sunday's (August 3rd) HH3 run will take place near Wat Sri Sat Kiri, just off the new Hatyai road. Pending a map from Sex Printer, below is a pale imitation indicating the possible routes to the site. It is apparently now difficult if not impossible to gain access to the site directly from the NHR so drivers from Songkhla should take the 8.5k turn left after the erection formerly known as the Dtac tower then turn left opposite Wat Sri Sat Kiri and follow the track 600m to the run site. It may still be possible to reach the run site from the East or North as indicated by the dotted lines on the map below but this is at your own risk! From Hatyai the route along the NHR would involve a U turn beyond the runsite. Alternatively you can approach  the runsite from the Nam Noi traffic lights on the OHR, in which case the turning would be on the right after about 5k. HH3 runs seem to have reverted to a 4:00 p.m. for 4:30 start, so arriving a bit early is advised to avoid disappointment. Hares are Robocop and Sex Racing.

Finally, although temporally first, there is a quiz night on Friday 1st August at the Office Bar (anyone need a map?) when teacher Mick will be the quiz master and the Hash team, without the aid of their traditional scribe, will attempt to make it two in a row against all-comers. Rumor has it that there will be a strong challenge from a lady's team if Temporary Relief, Kee Ling, Christina and Maria carry through on their threat to humble the men (not difficult) of Songkhla. 8:00 p.m. is the projected start time; all proceeds in aid of some good cause or other, so do come along and annoy the quiz master.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Great site, pity about the run

Sex Racing, at the site before yesterday's Hatyai run. He later escaped with minor injuries when an over-enthusiastic Scud accidentally pulled down a large dead tree more or less on top of him. Nothing life-threatening for the rest of us, just a long tough slog of a 1h30m "run" that had us questioning the meaning of existence. Lovely runsite though (click to embiggen).

Sunday, July 27, 2014

Great run, crap directions, ...

..was probably a fair summation of #1729. Just under 7k with a maximum height below 100m and a total ascent of about 120m, it took 1 hour for Sex Sprinter to run an edited version until he failed to find the final check which seems to have disappeared, possibly eaten by cows, at which point he made up for the lost distance by running round the road. Almost everybody else seems to have done the same including the short runners, with Buk Toy seemingly being the only one who worked out where the paper actually went. However, no one seemed to have detected the fact that the run was a figure of eight with the trails crossing at just about the highest point on the hill.
An honorable mention for "Fak Thong", Buk Toys bat-eared dog who having lost touch with her master, rejected the option of following Only a Yolk on her slow trip round, probably on the basis that she thought she could get home faster on her own. As it transpired, OaY was probably about 5 minutes ahead, but full credit to the doggy for getting home alone.
And those directions. Yup! They were crap! Penned hurriedly in a spare 5 minutes at work on Thursday evening, they got posted instead of saved. From that point on it just seemed like every attempt to get them right made things worse. Even the HH3 directions proved to be a kilometer or so short of a turn off! Ah well, next week will be at Egg Towers so I can't get that wrong can I! (Can I?)

Hatyai Hashers: The next generation

Sex of the Man -- the real one, accept no substitutes -- with offspring, who we think may be named Sex of the Man Jr.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Khrua Sakon reopens for business

Today's specialty: laab kai. Chopping time: 90 minutes and counting. Is it time to buy a food processor?

Friday, July 25, 2014

Taking the easy way....

Faced with an unexpected lay, our hare this week has opted not to try to compete with last weeks' run and has hit the 'easy' button, using a well-used run site and a few well-worn trails hastily bolted together in a hopefully novel way.
Details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1729, Saturday, 27th July, 2014, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Egghead and the doggies
Misdirections: From the Kao Seng intersection take the Old Yala road for about 10.8k (0.8k after the old/new Yala road junction) and turn right. Follow the road for 2.2k then go straight ahead at the crossroad for a further 1k to the runsite on the left. From Hatyai take a right at the Nam Noi traffic lights. Go through the Ban Tha Kam crossroads after 7k then go a further 4k (0.5k past Sai Kao Resort) and turn left into the road signposted for Kao Ron. After 500 meters bear right at the Y junction and go a further 700 meters. The run site is then on the right
HH3's run on Sunday will be at Kuanjong which is out beyond Kuan Samroot Maditation Center where last Sunday's run was located. Take Poonakan Rd for 6k beyond Wat Keow Kloy, turn left. for about 3k then go up the long new road towards the wat-thats-not-a-wat (Probably another maditation center. ed.) and look for evidence of a run. A map will no doubt follow. Hares unimportant but likely to be the sex people.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Food of the Devil

Just in case there was any doubt left in your mind . . . .

Monday, July 21, 2014

Yardstick's birthday dinner

Tomorrow (Tuesday 22nd July) is Yardo’s birthday when ‘Nong’ Peter officially becomes a geezer by reaching his 60th birthday. To celebrate the event, or maybe just to cushion the blow, there will be a dinner held in his honor at Dr. Cool on the beach at 7:00 p.m. No need to RSVP, just turn up. The more the merrier!

Snake porn revisited

If anyone hasn't seen the video of the dancing snakes it is now attached below to the 5th July post, Snake porn! It seems to work better on a smartphone so if you would like it add a comment/email address to this post and I will pas it on. The file is about 2.1mb.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Replay of Another Old Geezers Run

As promised by the hare there were only low hills, the run never went higher than 100m above the lowest point on the run; refreshments supplied during the course of the run, although due to logistical problems some of the front runners on the long run missed the third beer stop, the beer truck driver having absconded with the hare’s beer truck. There may have been a slight exaggeration of the slopes being suitable for prams, unless they were of the 4 wheel drive, low range, oversized wheel variety. The run was also relatively short as it never ventured further than 1.0 km from the runsite, this at the first beer stop. In fact most of the run was within 500m of the runsite, not much further than a well thrown beer can, so how a number of runners managed to find extra long shortcuts, was quite surprising.

The statistics for the long run were as follows. Total length of the run (including all false trails) was 8.5kms, total ascent 399m, There were 8 checks, 10 false trails, 2 checkbacks & 3 beer stops. Apparently, by his own account, Stick Insect was the only runner to go down all the false trails, our Hatyai brethren seeming to use their sixth sense to evade going down trails which had the dreaded ‘F’ at their end.
The short run was a mere 3.1kms with a total ascent of 146m, unless you were Softcock who attempted to run parts of the short run several times.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Tragedy at Tesco

Fear not, the jackbooted Egghead will never silence the world-class investigative journalism you have come to expect from The Online Scum. Be it beavers, chocolate, or chocolate beavers (from Yorkshire!), we bring you the important issues of the day without fear or favor.

Today's shocking story concerns the khaao khluk kapi at Hatyai Tesco. Yes, that most traditional and authentic of Thai dishes, utterly defiled by the Satanic Vegetable. How far will the forces of darkness go to insinuate this agricultural horror into every bite of food that we take? Stand up and be counted! Boycott Tesco until they renounce this abomination!

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Beavers? Chocolate? Are we going soft?

Anyone who follows this blog will know that from time to time its posters are inclined to go a little off the rails and betray the essentially macho ethic that hashing represents. But sympathy for tapeworm infested rodents, and chocolate as a health drink? This is going too far!
So it is comforting to report that these pinko liberal feminist-inspired vegetarian tendencies will be soundly trodden on with a firm hand this weekend when Yardstick assumes the bag and steps forth unaided to boldly lay where no real man hath lain these twelve months (or a couple of weeks anyway).
Details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1728, Saturday July 19th 4:30 p.m.
Hare: Yardstick
Misdirections (quoted verbatim)From the Samrong road junction go 16.0 kms along the old Yala road (from the new Yala road junction go 5.3 kms) and turn right just before Wat Kunthong. Go 2.0 kms from the wat and turn left down the dirt track for 1.2 kms to the runsite. Take care when going past the 2nd house on the left as there are a number of puppies, ducklings and small chicks wandering about on the track.
If coming from Hatyai go 1.5 kms past the ‘big’ tree in the middle of the road before turning right down the dirt track.
Cultural note: The tendency for established members of the hash to indulge in unnecessary revisionist amendments of long standing locational nomenclature has been noted previously, but our warnings of the possible deleterious effects of such flaunting of established conventions have once again been ignored. Let it simply be stated that "Samrong Road Junction" is NOT an acceptable description of the Kao Seng intersection despite the large blue road sign which asserts otherwise!
Hatyai Hash on Sunday will be following the way of the living monk to the Kuan Samroot Maditation centre (per the big white signs in the area). Details from the map below, or take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k, turn left and go 8k then turn right into Poonakan for about 6.5k then turn left towards Ban Nai Lai and follow the road for about 2k. Turn left and follow the track for about 1.5k to the runsite close to where the maditating monks are to be found. The hares, it cannot be hidden, are Robocop and Sex Racing, but then when did that ever stop us from having fun?

Save Britain's beavers!

Do your part to save the wild beavers of Devon: buy a beaver a beer this weekend!

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The ultimate post-run drink (hint: it isn't beer)

More new evidence that chocolate milk is "the runner's best friend" in last week's Guardian. Researchers discovered its benefits by accident: they were using milk as a control while testing a variety of electrolyte sports drink, only to find that the control subjects outperformed all the others. Apparently its secret is its 3:1 ratio of carbohydrates to protein, ideal for replenishing glycogen levels after hard exercise.

SH3's Dr. Stick Insect has performed his own studies on chocolate milk after running, concluding that mainly it made him feel nauseous. For the record, beer does contain a little protein: about 1g per can, vs. roughly 10g of carbohydrates, for a 10:1 ratio. So possibly a beer and, say, a piece of chicken is just about right, and a whole lot more satisfying than a glass of chocolate milk.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Who, me cixelsyd?

Anybody else notice this on the way to the runsite yesterday?

Sunday best

Yesterday's HH3 run: 7.1k without the F's and X's about 8.5 if you were unlucky enough to find them all. Including the beer stop the run took Sex Tsunami just over 1 hr 30 mins with the whole pack back home within another 10 minutes. The total ascent was 360m and the highest point reached, according to Google Earth, was 221 meters both at the 3rd check and also on the road after the 4th check. The short run which took the ridge trail from the 3rd check then the road down was around three and a half klicks. Short runners were offered the en-route option of a diversion to the beer truck which only Moo Sahb, Full Moon and hare, Lucky opted for. A smallish turn out, possibly due to the after effects of Saturday's double run binge were faced with a mountain of food, which they for the most part consumed. The remnants of the full moon sponsored beer were not quite consumed and a small balance has been included in the HFMH3 assets!

Friday, July 11, 2014

Beyond Faith

With the full moon falling on Friday, there will be 3 runs this weekend, 2 on Saturday and one on Sunday. Saturday’s runs will both be from behind Prem’s place and will be followed by a camp out for those who don’t fancy the drive home. Details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1727, Saturday 12th July 2014, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Sex Sprinter and Buk Toy
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Yala road for 800 meters and turn left then follow the road as it bends right after 600m up the hill to the Home of Faith. Follow the road round the back of the HoF and beyond it for about 500m. The run site is on the left. Parking is rather restricted so anyone not intending to stay the night might be better to park either in the HoF car park or on the road before the entrance to the run site.

Hatyai Full Moon Hash House Harriers run #111 (hares as above but spelled differently!) will follow the SH3 circle starting around 6:30 – 7:00 p.m. Following the full moon run, beer will be provided courtesy of our generous sponsors (and it’s still not too late to pledge a slab!) and there will also be a BBQ and other food, mainly courtesy of the lunar pussies, but any additional contributions will be welcome. 

If you intend to do the HFMH3 run, don’t forget to bring a hand-light and for those intending to camp out, a tent, ground sheet, sleeping bag, air mattress, mosquito net, primus stove, bathing water, shower kit, and towel are recommended by Nanny (but probably unnecessary as beer has the wonderful property of rendering the user completely numb to the deprivations of the outdoor life!)

Sunday’s HH3 run (July 13th, 4:15 p.m. or thereabouts) will be set by Kai Jeow who is making the usual exaggerated claims about how wonderful the trails are and how many of them we have never run before. But humor him and come along; he is also promising a considerately located beer stop about which he can probably be trusted even if the rest proves to be hyperbole. 

The run site is behind Sai Kao village: From the Kao Seng intersection take the old Yala road for 16k and turn right before Wat Kunthong. Go 3.5k and turn left just after the big tree. Go 200 meters and bear right then follow signs/paper through the village for about 1k to the run site on the concrete road. For Hatyai dwellers, take the old road towards Songkhla and turn right at Nam Noi, then go about 12k and turn right just before the big tree etc. Slightly dodgy large scale map plus more accurate map of the end of the route below. Note the turn is right (not left) after 200 meters which will be signed as will all the major changes of direction through the village.

Parking advisory: It is strongly suggested that we should park on the road as the ground is very soft under the rubber and we don’t want to piss the villagers off. There is no problem circling under the rubber but cars are better on concrete!
Note the turn is right (not left) after 200 meters which will be signed as will all the major changes of direction through the village.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Snake porn!

No one who was on today's SH3 run will ever forget the live sex show put on by two snakes. Video attached - click it to make it big'n'fuzzy!
But even without that, it was a pretty good run, done by the long and (most of the) short runners in about 1 hour 40 minutes. The GPS had it at 7.3k with a total ascent in the low 200's and a highest point of 150 meters. It just goes to show that collectively we can set great runs even if individually we sometimes fall short of the mark! The hares who acheived this miracle were: Aftershock, Sex Sprinter, Egghead, Stick Insect, Kii Ling and Sex Sprinter (again). The track went anti-clockwise frrom the runsite, then clockwise round the small loop then anti clockwise round the outside in a bigger loop instead of risking hitting the road.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Two runs and a quiz night

The Bald Gits vs Cap'n Yardstick and his merry band of older adults
This week's SH3 run will, by special request, be a relay hare run. Details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run # 1726, Saturday July 5th 2014: straws drawn at 4:15 p.m., first hare leaves at 4:20 p.m., pack leaves 4:30 p.m.
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k and turn left, then go 8k and turn right (at Wat Keow Kloy into Thanon Poonakan) for 1.2k then turn left and go 500 meters along the track to the run site. Map below

For anyone who has not done this before, the first hare is selected by drawing straws and gets a 10 minute start on the pack. They can set two 360's, the first one being a normal check. But at the second one, instead of restarting the paper, they hide within 100 meters of the check and wait to be found. The person who finds them is then given the bag of paper and a GPS with the run site marked. They then get a 5 minute start and repeat the procedure until they are found at their second check and hand on the paper. Generally each of the previous relay hare runs have involved about 5 different hares before returning to the runsite in about 6k / 1 -1½ hours.

Sunday's HH3 run is being set by (Sex) Tsunami and family and the run site is along the Hatyai-Chana highway around Namom, opposite the PTT station (from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k and turn left then follow the road past Wat Keow Kloy and Wat Nerm Pijit, for about 15k to the Hatyai-Chana highway. Turn right and go about 8k to the runsite on the left). Map below for Hatyai dwellers who should look for a U-turn sign on the Hatyai-Chana highway about 5k past the Klonglien intersection on Kanjanawanit Road.

Before all that, there is a quiz night at the Office Bar on Friday (4th July: 8:00 p.m.), when the hash team will attempt to restore their shattered pride by overcoming the bald gits in the foreground above, who handed out such a thumping defeat last time around. The Hash team have been undergoing special training to "increase their cognitive function" (see below: The health benefits of drinking beer) and the Office Bar is giving them support by offering a buy-3-get-one-free policy on beer during the quiz. Things get even more generous later in the evening when the World Cup quarter final between France and Germany begins at 11:00 p.m. when the offer becomes buy-2-get-one-free, but by that time the Hash team as "older adults" are likely to be safely tucked up in bed, possibly on their own! The quiz master is French Eric so inserting a Babel fish in your ear before you arrive would be sensible.