Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Full Moon 89: Oh you mean there!

For all those people who couldn't find Saturday's SH3 runsite, Sex Printer, the hare for HFMH3 89 has provided a helpful map. For those cartographically challenged, the directions are:
Hatyai Full Moon Hash House Harriers run #88, Wednesday  August 1st, 2012, 7:00 p.m.
Hare: Sex Printer
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for about 6.5k, then turn left on the marked track. The run site is on the left before the water tower.
Usual stuff applies: Bring some food, and beer or buy the Full Moon special brew (not ale: check it out Beaver!) which will be on sale at 3 cans for 100 Baht. And don't forget to bring a handlight if you intend to join  the  run
Anyone need transport from Songkhla? Give Egghead a call: (081 9691227) before 4:00 p.m. 

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Falang boycott bites as HH3 run lives up to expectations

Protests over SH3's poorly attended run on Saturday cut HH3's pack from 20 to 19 this afternoon as the much hyped HH3 outing proved to be as good as it's pre-run billing. But the run was marred by rampant short-cutting which saw GM Sex Short Cutter romping home on the short run paper in 1 hour and 2 minutes, a full 2 minutes before FROPs Nicheow and Sex Auw Auw who were themselves reported to have missed significant sections of the paper.

But the good news for SH3 is that Nicheow, a.k.a. Laad Duang is offering to set the SH3 run next Saturday from a runsite adjacent to Wat Keow Kloy and Sex Sprinter will set the HFMH3 full moon run this Wednesday (August 1st) from the same runsite  as was used for the SH3 run last Saturday, just before the water tower at Napong. Official notice of both runs will follow...
Nerds corner: Long run 7.5k all up, total ascent 304m, highest point 225m. Short run (in blue): 2.7k flat as a pancake.

1626: Should we be worried?

A hugely enjoyable run marred only slightly by the sparse distribution of color coordinated squares - coordinated in that a large proportion of them were exactly that autumnal shade of golden yellow that leaves turn when they have fallen from rubber trees! But the pack, apparently guided by some innate knowledge of where the run was going (possibly based on the fact that much of it followed in reverse, the same track as used on the recent Moo Sahb-Off T run at HH3) was able to overcome the paper problems, largely dealt with the checks without breaking stride and the leading group who by dint of some creative trail following came in about 1 minute ahead of the remainder of the pack were home in about 1 hour 6 minutes with the whole long run home in 1 hour 7 minutes.

So no problem: good run, happy pack, a job well done. Well, no. Because the "pack" consisted of 6 runners of whom 3 were dogs. Two other runners set out with the loose intention of doing the long run but were noted to have mysteriously arrived back at the run site before the hare guided the last of the short runners home.

There are certainly many reasons why we were down to rock bottom yesterday and over the next couple of weeks as the current crop of traveling hashers return to the fold, the numbers should creep up. But there is more to it than that because a lot of people who do come sometimes, could come more regularly and if they don't start doing so then there has to be some doubt about whether SH3 can continue as a weekly hash. It is disappointing and demotivating for hares when they put in so much work to set good runs when so few people turn out and run them. The message needs to be got out - if you don't support the Hash it may not be around the next time you feel like a run.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Sunday's Map

Above is pictorial confirmation of the runsite for Sunday's HH3 run. The red arrows are intended to assist those coming from Hatyai. If you are coming from Songkhla and follow the official directions (below) you will approach the big tree from the opposite direction (The old Yala road is the upper border of the map and the turn off is at Wat Kun Thong at 16k).

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Early warning

Both this weekend's hares have produced early information about their runs, so...
Saturday's SH3 details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1626, Saturday 28th July 2012, 4:30 p.m.
Hare: Stick Insect (with just a touch of Beaver and maybe a little Cat)
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for about 6k, then left. The run site is on the left before the water tower.
The hare is making no claims about the run, in contrast to Sunday's HH3 hare who is promising a beautiful run including some old favorite trails interspersed with some rarely used and some never-before-run country, with an in trail which will make old men (if we have any of those) feel like 18 year-olds. Details are:
HH3 run #5$@!, Sunday July 29th 2012, 4:30
Hare: Kai Jeow
Misdirections: (Songkhla) From the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 16k and turn right before Wat Kun Thong (turning NOT signed). Follow the road for 3.5k and turn left just after the big tree (signed) bear right after 200 meters then follow signs/paper for about 1.5k to the run site. 
(Hatyai) From the Nam Noi traffic lights turn right and follow the road for about 12k. Turn right just before the big tree, then bear right after about 200 meters and follow signs/paper for about 1.5k to the run site.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Today's run

The long one was about 7.5km, maybe 8km if you were silly enough to do the false trails. Total ascent 250m, which for a run this length from this site is about as little as is possible. First runners back in 0:55 -- that's really quick -- with the short runners (the red bit, run in reverse, i.e. counter-clockwise) appearing about ten minutes later.

What's weird is that we met the first of the short runners where their trail rejoined the long run (the right end of the red track). And yet somehow we did that whole big clockwise loop to the bottom and back before they managed the little bit on the upper right. OK, the top right part was the hill. But I suspect the real delay was the foraging . . . .

HH3's curiously charming offer.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Curiously charming

Hare Beavershot returns to a favorite old site to set a run with a difference.

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1625, Saturday, 21 July, 2012, 4:30 pm., 
Hare: Beavershot
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo Intersection take the Old Hatyai Road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k then right for 4.5k to the run site on the football field on Punnakan Road.

News of HH3's Sunday outing will follow as information emerges and as time allows!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

A typical Sunday afternoon

The hare returns.

The bitches bite.

The pussies bond.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

An hour twelve of hell...

...or two hours twelve of you walked it as Andrew and Danny did necessitating a hare-plucked rescue from just about where the short run (yellow) hit the long run (red plus most of the yellow bits as well). The stats suggest  it was between 6 and 7k for most people, with the 7 F's adding over a kilometer for those unlucky enough to hit them all. Beaver felt the X off of 360_4 which was just below the top of the run (220m) was unfair, but appreciated F6 on the way down which caught all the other FRB's and allowed him to open up a gap, though Laad Duang seems to have caught him on the longish in-run. The total ascent was a modest 278 meters, but most of it occurred at once so it seemed worse than it actually was. From a hare's eye view, it felt good; some of the pack were less than enthusiastic. Aw shucks!

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Kinder Scout it ain't!

Sunday's attempt at emulating the Kinder Scout mass trespass (look it up ignorant!) at the football pitch on Poonakan has been abandoned, as radical affirmation of rights is not really a Thai thing. Instead we should proceed from the 4.7k turn off of the old Hatyai road for 8.5k, 500 meters past Wat Keao Kloy and turn left into the run site. The Nichaoness of the run has also been tempered by the addition of Sex Tsunami to the team.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

This week's hares (or at least half of them as the other 3 canines who make up the sextet were otherwise engaged when this picture was taken) 

Saturday's SH3 run details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers, run #1624; Saturday 14th July 2012, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Egghead, Only a Yolk, White Meat, Harram, Pink Floyd and Ma Mick
Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 16k and turn right before Wat Kun Tong, then go 3k and turn left for 800 meters to the run site on the left of the track in the rubber. (Alternatively, from the Hatyai direction, turn right at Nam Noi and go about 12.5k then go straight ahead at the big tree at Sai Kao Village and go for another 500 meters, then turn right for 800 meters.)

The usual claims are being made that this is a wonderful run which no one in their right mind should miss etc. etc. which is probably true, but then aren't most of our runs these days? 

Hatyai H3 will be attempting to strike a blow for freedom by reoccupying the recently blocked off football field on Poonakan Road (from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k; turn left for 8k, then right at Wat Keow Kloy for 4.5k). The hares are believed to be Nicheow, Nicheow and Nicheow and the run starts at 4:30, HH3 time.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Now that's funny . . . not

You guys are a tough crowd. A dynamic photo of KY, one of our leading hash luminaries? "Weird" and "A really bad advertisement for the hash". Well OK, how about a charming shot of two lovely children doing the most delightful thing a child can do, i.e. serving cold beer to thirsty adults? "Not so cute" was the judgment on that one.

So maybe this one is more your speed. This is the visiting canine who first pissed on Softcock's car a.k.a. The German Beer Can Holder. That was hilarious! Then he peed all over Egghead's truck, the Blue-Veined Throbber, and that was pretty funny too. But then he got up close and personal with a certain respected senior hasher. Still funny? I don't think so.

Monday, July 9, 2012

After Ours - then and now

For those of you who didn't know, After Ours had a little op. on her tummy yesterday (Sunday) and is currently recovering in room 1161 of Songkhla Nakarin (Mor Or) Hospital in Hatyai.  She's likely to be there for at least a week, so drop in and see her if you're on the way to Tesco; or why not make a special journey? 
Get well soon Nian!

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Awwww . . .

OK, enough KY already. What could be cuter than small children learning how to serve ice cold beer?

Friday, July 6, 2012

The secrets of photographic perfection

The Online Scum is gratified by the surge of interest in photography evidenced in recent posts here. In our effort to further serve the hashing community we have therefore asked the eminent photographer Henri Cartier-Beaver for his tips on taking the perfect photograph. Here, after some copy editing (he seems to have problems with certain letters of the alphabet), is his response.

There are three basic requirements to a good photograph: the right subject, the right light, and right moment.

Your subject of course is the key to your photograph. It might be something of singular beauty, or joy or pathos, or deep mystery. It might be something from ordinary life, but seen in an extraordinary way. Find a great subject and you are halfway to a great photograph.

Next, light. "Photography" of course means to write with light, and without good light there are no good photographs. Cameras see differently than the human eye, and much of a photographer's education has to do with learning to recognize good photographic light. The recent photos here posted by my esteemed colleague Mr. Egghead are textbook examples of, shall we say, less than optimal photographic light. Show me a superb photograph and odds are that the photographer had (or created) superb light.

Finally, the moment. It can be a gesture, a glance, a ray of sunlight breaking out of a cloud -- anything that makes one instant stand out from all the others, and makes it worthy of being frozen in time. You might even call it, er, the decisive moment.  

So there you have it: subject, light, and moment. Put them together and, voila, the perfect photograph.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Our hares this weekend

This weekend, SH3 and HH3 are privileged to have as hares, two of our most illustrious and celebrated loonies psychopaths social deviants members, "Burn'em down" Buk Toy and Sex Sprinter, the man for whom the term cakehole takes on a new and special meaning which encompasses the whole of his head!

Details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1623. Saturday July 7th 2012: 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Buk Toy and Sex Sprinter
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for about 9k to the run site on the right near the quarry.

Sunday's (July 8th, 2012: 4:30 p.m.) so far unmapped HH3 run will take place in front of the Sai Kao Resort: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k. Turn left for 6k then left for about 4.5k to the run site on the left. The hares are Toy Boy and Sex Printer who wish to remain anonymous!

Full moon 88: Symmetry in motion

It was back to business as usual for HFMH3 last night - on a weekday night and without the free beer that has swollen the numbers on the last two runs to unprecedented heights. But even without such stalwarts as Sofar and Ouab Im, Yardo, Softy and Temp, the Wursts, and Scud, about 20 people pitched up and enjoyed the fragrantly located run site as well as a geometrically designed run, which stretched the limits of "about 6k" to a bit over 7k. But even with a fair number of F's and 360's, it still took only an hour 10 with the leaders and laggards separated by about a minute. 

Back at the runsite, vast amounts of food and modest (by recent standards) amounts of beer were consumed, and the breeze was shot, with subjects ranging from current structural weaknesses in the international financial system through the discovery of the Higgs Boson and  quantum information theory, to whether the athletic looking people apparently joining SH3 this week (see below) are of the female persuasion or are actually Katoeys! The geezers, meanwhile, dribbled into their beer cans and burbled inanely about how things aren't what they used to be and how they don't make movies like Casablanca anymore. G.O.D. ain't what it used to be!

Hashers by sunset.

And here's yet another fake, culled from HH3's annoyingly up-to-date and regularly used Facebook page. Whoever it is who's done the  Create-a-Masterpiece-Using-Photoshop course, I wish they'd stop trying to fool us that these are genuine snaps taken with a common or garden digital jobbie.
Henri Cartier Volestrangler comments: Of curse zis illustrates completly der point zat Cartier Beaver was meking. Ze light frem ze zun has absolootely rendered ze people in ze forground unrecognizable as uman beings, in fact wun ov zem looks a leetle lak a dog!

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

New runner alert

A respected senior member of The Cronies™ (but I’m being redundant) has suggested that the photos in the post below of last weekend’s runs don’t do much for our effort to attract new hashers. Specifically he seems to find that Tutti Frutti looks like a geezer, while KY appears to have come from a different planet.

To which we say . . . well, what do you expect? Look at the material we’ve got to work with. But hold the presses! This email just in!

“Hi Scum,

My name is Monica. That’s me in the middle, along with my friends Barbi and Jasmine. We read The Online Scum constantly and we think you’re great! The only thing we like more than running is drinking beer and then giving backrubs to nice older guys, so we can’t wait to come run with your hash! You wouldn’t mind having us, would you?

Yours truly,

Monica, Barbi, and Jasmine

P.S. Jasmine has an M.A. in law enforcement and has a real thing for guys with guns. Do any of you fellows pack heat?”

So . . . apparently things are looking up for SH3! We don’t know when the girls will be coming, but you certainly don’t want to miss it. So be sure to come every single week! On-on!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012


It's amazing what you can do with Photoshop isn't it? These pictures are clearly fakes and yet if you didn't know better you would swear that they are pictures of beautiful sunsets over Hatyai taken at recent HH3 runs. But we all know that such pictures are completely impossible since there just isn't enough light to take photographs of sunsets without using such a big F stop that you lose all the detail etc. etc.
Who'd be a photographer huh?

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Geezer pride + pussy prejudice

Tutti Frutti monopolizes the womenfolk.

With our GM and one or two others off at work, it was a small turnout on Saturday and a modest little run. Which, considering that the hare was Lat Duang, made for a pleasant change of pace. Fine quality running too, with a particularly nice gentle winding downhill trail from the top. 
Rock and Roll (or is it Hip Hop?) uses the German Beer Can Holder for her pre-run stretching.

Not that we really keep track or anything, but first back in exactly 50 minutes were Beaver and Egghead, coming in from slightly different directions but both on paper (admittedly, in the the case of the former, perhaps not entirely the correct paper), followed a pace or two behind by Sex Sprinter, who of course could have blown both of them away if he had wanted. Fortunately not everyone on this hash is shamelessly competitive. Just, it seems, the geezers. 
Sexy Girl and Sex Star return from setting the "short" run. 

 Sunday’s hash was a whole different kettle of fish. But then we expected that, given that the run was on the backside of Hatyai’s toughest hill and the hares were or at least included Sex Star, Sex Ao Ao, and Sexy Girl. These are the true serial offenders of your classic blood-and-guts Hatyai Hash run.

I'm sorry, I can't help myself. The guy is just ridiculously photogenic.

And don’t think that because Sexy Girl is, uh, a girl, she is any less brutal than her fanatic 0%-body-fat husband or the totally mutant Fuckrat. She’s the one famous for setting short runs longer than the long run, and judging by the amount of square paper I saw up there at the higher elevations, she didn’t exactly hold back this time either. As for the long run . . . let’s just say, seriously epic.  


Wednesday 4th July will be US Independence Day and to celebrate this joyous occasion, this month's full moon run will take place that day, next to the pig farm off the New Yala Road. Full details are:

Hatyai Full Moon Hash House Harriers run #88, Wednesday  July 4th, 2012, 7:00 p.m.
Hare: Kai Jeow
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection, take the New Yala road for about 7.5k and turn right at the top of the hill onto the wide dirt road, to the run site about 100 meters down on the left.

The usual stuff applies: Bring some food, and beer if you can't handle the Full Moon special brew which will be on sale at 3 cans for 100 Baht. And don't forget to bring a handlight if you intend to join either the short or the long run