Monday, December 28, 2009

Come to the Full Moon Run, or else....

...or else the Boyotes are gonna gitcha!

Yes, the lunatics from Sunday night have been given special leave from the assylum for another outing on Wednesday night, this time to make sure that YOU turn up to the Full Moon Hash run which is:

Hatyai Full Moon H3 run #61, Wednesday December 30th 2009, 7:00 p.m.
Hares: Kai Jeow and (probably) Moo Sahb
Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 2.85k and turn right through the Zoo archway then go 0.7k and turn left for another 1.1k then right for 150 meters to the run site at the Cwm Sook Restaurant.

There will be long and short runs, and beer (Chang, Leo and Heineken) as well as food available from the restaurant at very reasonable prices (i.e. you don't need to bring any this time around), but don't forget to bring a handlight whichever run you decide to do!

Saturday's SH3 run, all being well will be as follows:

Songkhla H3 run #1490, Saturday January 2nd 2010, 4:00 p.m.
Hare: Gan Yao
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 6.5k to the run site on the left

And Sunday's HH3 run will be from somewhere close to the Orbotor office at Tung Yai (old Hatyai road 10k, turn left for 3.5k then turn right and go about 300 meters and look for signs). Hare is rumored to be Porky Sex but don't be surprised if the Beelzebubian figure of Off T is lurking threateningly in the background!

Anyone got any idea what's happening on New Year's Eve?
A Happy New Year to all my readers!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A long and meaningless post just to get that bloody photograph off the top of the blog before the wife sees it

Well here it is in all it's glory, the last run of the year; OK so there are a few kinks to be worked out like where it will actually go and stuff like that; but they are mere details which will no doubt all fall into place come Saturday morning, barring a really bad hang-over which if Beaver's libelous post below is to be believed is not beyond the realms of possibility.
So to what is known:

SH3 run #1489, Saturday December 26th 2009, 4:00 p.m.
Hares: Egghead and Only a Yolk
Run site: Prem's place preferably in the top car park outside the old geezers pad.

This will be an A - B run and Prem's place will be the B site. There will be transport from the B site to the A site at 4:00 p.m. so it would help if everyone intending to do either the short or long runs could be there on time this week as otherwise you may find yourself wandering around aimlessly at the bottom of the hill and missing out on all that glorious ... err whatever it is wherever the run ends up going.

Next up is Sunday's (December 27th) HH3 run and party which will take place at the Tung Jaeng restaurant (New Yala Road about 8k from the Ko Yo intersection on the right hand side). The run will start at 3:30 p.m. and the party will be immediately after the circle. Masses of food and beer are promised and the entertainment will feature men in women's clothing as well as quite possibly women not in women's clothing. If you've not already registered for the event you can probably do so on Saturday. Price is negotiable depending upon your status but HH3 regulars and SH3 trusties will probably pay 100 Baht with guests from 200 Baht.

Finally there is a Full Moon H3 run planned for Wednesday 30th December 2009. There should be something firm to report by the weekend, but all being well it will be from the restaurant next to the Gor Sor Nor back gate just off the old Yala road.
And that's just about it for 2009. So on! on! to that libelous post from Beaver....

2009 Scandals, Part III: Extreme Makeover of the Year

Step aside, Tiger Woods. 2009 was the year that Egghead truly came off the rails.

It apparently began with his demotion from the most powerful man in English-language education in the Deep South to just another lowly teacher. "You could see the defeat in his eyes," said one well-known bar owner, speaking on condition of anonymity. "What else did he have left but cheap liquor and cheaper women?"

A number of notorious nightspots on Songkhla's seedy Srisuda Rd. were happy to provide both commodities. Bingeing at establishments with names like "Potato Bar" and "Bonnie Bar", the errant Egg was seen in the company of a variety of women, including both ex-students (top photo) and wives (lower photo).

Meanwhile on the home front, he progressed from a pussy obsession to kinkier realms. "He said the goat was to trim his lawn," said a new hasher, speaking on condition that we do not refer to him as Bruce. "But everyone knows goats don't eat grass." Evidently inspired by the pre-revolution nightclubs of Havana, goat shows were performed for rowdy audiences and visitors were offered short-time rooms.

"He looks like such an English gentleman," said one ex-student, speaking on condition that this reporter pay her barfine. "But inside, well, let's just say he's the kind of beast every woman secretly dreams of."

Monday, December 21, 2009

2009 Scandals, Part II: Bad Date of the Year

Rotten has always had an eye for feminine beauty, so he must have thought it was his lucky day when he wandered into the Bonnie Bar a few months ago and spotted a new young lovely called Nam. What he didn't know was that Stick Insect had just finished his own little tete-a-tete with "her", at least until Egghead had unsportingly alerted him to the fact that Nam wasn't quite what "she" appeared to be.

To be fair, after some embarrassing billing and cooing, Rotten eventually did figure it out for himself. (Perhaps he conducted a covert fertility exam?) But the real problem wasn't Nam's chromosome count. It was her inability to count beyond 500 after Rotten gave her a B1000 note. He went postal, and not for the first time in these premises.

The postscript: Shortly afterwards, following another incident, Nam was banished from the Bonnie. Rotten, as far as we know, remains under self-banishment.

Coming soon: Part III, Extreme Makeover of the Year

Where are they now?

Just returned from SHOT (KL Solstice Hash On Tour). This time it was in Saigon.

Guess what I found lurking in the bushes at Saigon H3?

None other than an ex-Songkhla H3 Hon Sec by the name of Penis Point! Seems he has been there ever since absconding from SH3 10 years ago.
Anyway it was anounced at the run that he is now the incoming GM! We must have trained him well while at SH3

Sadly he had managed to keep his real hash name secret for all those 10 years. Not any more.

Luv & Kisses, Guns and Roses,

PS : the guy behind Paul John was recruited with his wife by Opera on the plane over to Saigon! Their first ever hash!

Friday, December 18, 2009

2009 Scandals, Part I: Romance of the Year

Let's face it, Songkhla Hash is no longer a hotbed of romantic activity. Most of us have reached the age where we are set in our ways. The attached among us remain attached. The single stay single. (True, your GM this year acquired a new consort, but she's still on probation. Or maybe he is.) The once-raging fires within us have burned down to the last glowing embers.

So what an unexpected delight it is when, in our midst, true love rears its strangely beautiful, horny head. As a sensitive young farm lad, Softcock spent many a tender moment with a succession of four-legged companions. And now, thanks to a chance meeting with Egghead's goat Cherie (named after the wife of Tony Blair, Egg's secret fantasy -- Cherie, that is, not Tony), romance has blossomed once again.

There will be those who denounce man-ruminant love as unnatural, even abhorrent. But to see this happy couple gambolling over the lawn at chez Egg, as innocent and carefree as children, who can deny them their bliss? For remember, it could happen to ewe.

Coming soon: Part II. Bad Date of the Year

Songkhla Hash Ladies Nature Walk: December 19th 2009

This weeks nature walk will be led by Gan Yao, who will endeavour to find gentle trails over low hills, avoiding all that horrible mud and be back at the beerwagon before Herr Klaus Von BeerGobbler has opened his fourth can.
Adhering to our logo 'The shortest distance between two points is a straight line and we are not going up that f**k*ng hill' , we intend to
demonstrate the folly of following Rotten Johnny anywhere and the rewards of sticking to the true path.

Come on Mother, that nice
Mr Beavershot said its the
last hill.......

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

This Saturday: No poofters allowed!

After several weeks of delightful one-hour runs on nice trails without any excessive hills, your hares this week have seen the light . . . you're getting SOFT! Hear that, SOFT! What do you think this is, the Songkhla Ladies Saturday Nature Walk? What you need is a real man's run! Unless of course you're a POOFTER, in which case you could always come along anyway and grope that giant hemorrhoid that Softcock keeps pretending is a Hash injury!

Anyhow you have been warned. Hand Job got so knackered just scouting this one that she was unable to make som tam for three days!

Songkhla Hash House Harrieqwrtys Run #1488
Saturday, December 19, 2009, 4 pm. sharp
Hares: Beavershot & Hand Job
Misdirections: From Kaw Yaw intersection take the Old Hatyai Rd. 4.6km, turn left and go 8km to Wat Khao Kloi, then turn right on Punnakan Rd. Go 2.2km and runsite is in the quarry on the left.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


who proudly present...
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1487,
Saturday, December 12th, 2009; 4 p.m.
Hares: Solong and Safe Sex
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 6.2k then right and follow signs/paper to the run site.
Sunday's HH3 run will be set by Sofa and Ouab-Im. The run site is under the True Moves tower on the new Hatyai road (from the Ko Yo intersection take the new Hatyai road for 8k and turn left into the run site at the sign just before the top of the hill). Run starts at 4 p.m.
On! On!

Friday, December 4, 2009

A massage from this week's hare

Run # 1486 December 5th 2009
Hare: Gan Yao
Now, you didn’t think I was going to get to the point and give you directions straight away did you?!
I found a lovely area, low rolling hills, great running trails, beautiful views, superb potential for checks. But then I thought, that’s not what you like, so I’ve moved it to a mosquito infested hill with near vertical cliffs, no trails, covered in thorns and for
variety there’s a few areas of really obnoxious black mud! And that’s not all! The car park is toooo small!! You’ll love it!!
At the Koh Yoh intersection set your tripmeter to 0. Drive, pedal, walk or fly down the Old Hat Yai road for 3.8Km and turn left at the lights. After going 6.5Km down this road turn left into the quarry.
The quarry is small, if there is a large turnout parking may be a problem so please park carefully.

Gan Yao - So fast! So fit! So f*ing long ago!

This week's run; in which the GM returns and everyone else gets confused

The GM is back in town this weekend so we can stop behaving like a bunch of headless chickens and get back to behaving like a bunch of clueless morons. He has asked me to send out a big THANK YOU! to Gan Yao for stepping in at short notice to set this week's run the details of which are:

Songkhla H3 run # 1486, Saturday December 5th 2009.
Hare: Gan Yao
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 3.8k and turn left for 6.5k then turn left into the run site (or if you're in Daddy's Merc, you might want to park it on the road and walk into the run site).

This is the week that Gan Yao has promised to reveal the secret of why he usually goes off and does a different run from the rest of us by letting us do the run that he would do if he were setting the run from this run site (which he is), although he has confidentially let it be known that if he were running this run (which he isn't), then he would take a completely different route from the one that the hare (which he is) will be setting. So do come along and get completely confused (which I am, but then that's nothing unusual).

HH3 also have a stand in hare this week. If we're lucky it's Porky Sex but if he's feeling adventurous or vindictive he may invite Off T to join him. But hey, the last couple of runs they have set have been awesome; and HH3 are on a high at the moment after having swamped the opposition at last weeks joint HH3-Union Hash run.

Off T about
to set an

Run site is: From the Ko Yo intersection take the Old Hatyai Road for 10.2k and turn left for about 2.5k to the run site on the left. Run starts at the usual 4:00 p.m blunt.
On! On!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


We are proud to announce that The Online Scum is officially banned in China.

Actually it's not that big a deal, since China apparently blocks all Blogspot accounts. But it still feels like a worthwhile achievement. And anyhow it's why your blogmaster has been absent here lately. He will soon return, with some shocking revelations. Or at least some more tits and ass.

Bumz... err... runz this weekend


This weekend sees the visit of KL Full Moon H3 to Songkhla and there are two joint runs as well as the Hatyai H3/Union H3 run on Sunday. The run details are:

Hatyai Full Moon H3, run #60
Friday, November 27th, run starts at 7:00 p.m. sharp. Dinner served after the run at about 8:30 p.m.
Hares: Kai Jeow and Moo Sahb
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for about 6k to the runsite on the left in the Steak Nai Suan restaurant.
Run fees: 150 Baht all comers, to cover food after the run. Free beer and soft drinks before and on the run sponsored by HFMH3 and SH3. Beer at the restaurant on a pay as you go basis from the bar. Kids: 150 Baht if they are eating hash food or free if they buy their own food!
Don’t forget to bring a handlight if you are doing one of the runs (long and short) but contributions of food and beer are unnecessary this time around!
If you are intending to come to this run and haven’t pre-registered, please let one of the hares (i.e. Egghead or Only a Yolk) know by phone or e mail before midday on Friday. You can pay on the night but we need to advise the restaurant of numbers to make sure there's enough food!

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1485
Saturday November 28th, 4:00 p.m.
Hares: Sex Sprinter and Buk Toy
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the new Yala road for about 8k and turn right through the Armco into the run site
Run fees: 60 Baht

On-On after: Dinner at the Tung Jaeng restaurant (1k up the new Yala road) after the circle at about 7:00 p.m. Cost about 250 Baht a head for food only, beer from the bar at lower-than-Hash-prices. Again, if you want to join the On-On please let Egghead or Only a Yolk know before Saturday so that we can advise the restaurant of numbers.

Hatyai Hash House Harriers run # 464'ish (joint run with Union H3)
Sunday November 29th, 4:00 p.m.
Hares: TBA (but probably one of the fit skinny bastards!)
Run site: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 10k and turn left for about 3.5k then right (heading for the Or Bor Tor office at Pru Toh) and go about 2k and look for signs.


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Friday, November 20, 2009

Canada Day

It's Canada day!
Well it was 6 month's ago.
Did you know that:

Canada Day is an opportunity to gather in our communities, from coast to coast to coast, and to proudly celebrate all we have in common. It is an opportunity to celebrate our achievements, which were born in the audacious vision and shared values of our ancestors, and which are voiced in nearly all of the languages of the world through the contribution of new Canadians.

Wow! - new Canadians! - We have one in Songkhla this week courtesy of this week's hare Phuk, whose wife has recently given birth to a bouncing baby girl; so to celebrate, our resident and visiting Canadians will be hoosting this weeks SH3 run, details of which are as follows:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers' run # 1484: November 21, 2009
Hares: Buck Phuk and Chuck (alias R2D2)
Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the Hat Yai road for 3.2k turn left under the golden arch and go 0.7k to the run site in Wat Keow Keaw.

The run will feature good ol' Canadian hospitality including lots of ice and snow (well rain anyway) and the after run festivities will include polar bear-baiting, seal clubbing and for some unknown reason bananas.

Sunday's HH3 run will be set by Sex Sprinter and will be from Th. Poonakan, 2k down from Wat Keow Kloi on the left (Old Hatyai Road 4.7k, left 8k, right 2k).

Don't forget that KL Full Moon H3 are with us the following weekend 27/28 November and the next Full Moon H3 run will be on Friday 27th November from Steak Nai Suan (old Hatyai road 6k beyond Ko Yo intersection on the left) There'll be a couple of runs with beer stops then food afterwards for 150 Baht (beer at the restaurant from the bar). On Saturday there's our normal run which KLFM will join, then there will be an On-On dinner probably at the same restaurant we used for the birthday run last month. Cost will be about 200-250 Baht a head for food with beer pay-as-you-drink.
On! On!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Gang of Seven Strike Again!

The SH3 instructions for this week are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1483, Saturday 14th November 2009: 4:00 p.m.
Hares: Crackwurst, Knackerwurst, Softcock, Temporary Relief, Softdog, Korean Barbecue and Illegal Beagle.
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the New Hatyai Road for 8.7k and turn left for 3.8k then turn right for under 1k to the run site.

HH3 instructions are: Go to SH3 on Saturday and be told by Palm Job who is the hare!
On! On!
(The blogger apologises for not having a more up-to-date picture of Knackerwurst. The photograph representing the doggies was sourced from Google Images by searching under the keywords illegal, Korean, cock, relief and dog)

Saturday, November 7, 2009

What price democracy?

Wot? No committee meeting to decide such an important question? An issue as vital as free speech peremptorially dealt with by GM's fiat? Is this the Jackboot of American imperialism stamping on our right to comment? Or was this just a spurious post to prevent Peppered Pussy's birthday run (which incidentally is today, Saturday 7th November, at 4:00p.m., Old Hatyai road 4k, left 5.2k, right 300 meters and follow signs to the run site etc.) being the top item on the blog? Bruvvers I leave you to decide!
On! On! to the revolution!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Comment this!

The total lack of comments was just getting embarrassing, so I've turned them off. Anybody really want to comment on anything here, feel free to put up a new post of your own. (You can see that even Rotten has started posting. Can Dungbeetle be far behind?)

Peppered Pussy's Birthday Run

Tomorrow's (Saturday, November 7th) SH3 run will be Peppered Pussy and Egghead's birthday run, hence the run site at Egg Towers (From the Ko Yo Intersection take the Old Hatyai Road for 4k and turn left for 5.2k then right for 300 meters and follow signs to the run site). This does have the advantage that if, as seems likely, it is wet, the picnic and post run gorge at least will be able to take place in the dry. Nobody will be forced to venture out into the inclement weather except for the odd sortie to get another beer, and even that may not be necessary as the hares are chucking in a couple of cases of free beer.
Only a Yolk is already busily preparing food for the occasion and in addition to the usual curry and rice, there'll be spag bog and an all day do-it-yourself som tam bar for those of the veggie persuasion. There'll also be hotdogs, luk chin and other nasty kids stuff, freshly barbecued by Peppered Pussy so if you are coming along please bring the kids to keep the birthday girl company.
There'll be two runs. PP herself is taking a hand in setting the short run which will be kid-able as well as walkable, and the long run will be a live-but-not-that-live hare from Egghead.
So don't let the bad weather put you off, come and help us celebrate our birthdays at the Hash.
On! On!
Egghead and Peppered Pussy

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Sadao Hash Web Lives On On

Your link to the Sadao Hash web site,
and for some Songkhla Joint run photos
click here

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

How did he do that?

Run # 1480 recalled:
The day we got our own back on Knob Gobling and Yardo got his own back on all of us.

As has been pointed out before in this organette, we have been making a habit of losing people recently, and after Yardstick went AWOL on the latest pussy run (see Run 1479: The Revenge of the Pussies ibid) there was a certain justice in his managing to return the favor the following week. There was however some irony in the identity of his victim, given that Knob Gobling in his Off T guise at HH3 has been responsible for some of the most aberrant haring known to hashkind and was not long ago guilty of sending us all off on a 14k marathon from which the ever reliable Gan Yao took the short-cut to hell.

But we can’t say we weren’t warned. Figures as high as 12k had been bandied about by Yardo before the run and given that his last lay resulted in an almost 2 hour run, no one was under any illusions as to what was in store. This didn’t seem to stop anyone except Only a Yolk however and the low number of runners owed more to the HH3 outing to Isaan which left us with only 9 starters (Solong, Stick Insect, Bravefart, Rotten Johnny, Safe Sex, Egghead, Beavershot, Softcock and Knob Gobling) plus various canines, and the hare.

The GM had sensibly decreed that this would be the week when we would switch to starting at 4:00 p.m., but as the hour approached and passed only a handful of runners had assembled partly because of a lack of signage which resulted in the beer truck taking the wrong road and ending up lost not far from where Knob Gobling would later come to a halt. So it was pretty much 4:30 by the time we set off. This in itself was not a disaster but the early part of the run was fairly vertical and Knob Gobling pretty quickly lost touch not only with the pack but with the sweeping hare, and without his normal protector Only a Yolk (who had opted for the short run) to shepherd him along he fell further and further behind.

The main run, meanwhile skirted the three big peaks and headed eastwards along the ridge above Ban Sai Kao, then turned back Westwards into previously lightly run territory. At this stage everyone was enjoying the experience and it was still relatively early when we plunged down a logging track and found ourselves a cool 4k from the run site with what little sun there was busily setting behind the clouds ahead of us. Matters were not aided by the fact that almost all of the route home was through mature rubber so that as the gloom descended, it became increasingly difficult to see the paper and to avoid the lumps and bumps in the trails or what passed for them as we followed a beeline for home over whatever happened to be in the way. But with the front of the pack detached and a few minutes ahead, Yardo carefully guided what he thought were the last few stragglers to within sight of the welcoming light from Only a Yolk’s handlight as she worriedly scanned the in-trail for signs of her returning menfolk.

Knob Gobling meanwhile was struggling along a couple of kilometers back unable to see the paper by what little light remained. But happily for him he had taken the precaution of carrying his hand-phone with him which though not proving much good as a torch, enabled brother Solong to contact him as soon as it was realized that he was missing, and Solong, Safe Sex and for unexplained reasons, Egghead set off in search, eventually successfully locating him a bit more than a klick away and guiding him safely home, just in time to see hare, Yardstick and assistant, Tutti Fruity liberally iced and watered for another classic midsummer monster run which somehow seemed to have got misplaced into October.

The ice list records that Pla Ra Zub who can probably now be safely referred to by her legitimately come-by hash name of Prik Farang, returned and also departed back to her native Canada, and Brave Fart also returned but probably wondered why he had! It also confirms that Rudy will forever glory in the name of Rudy the Red Nosed Poko Porker and that Mummy Poko got a T-Shirt for her 400th run, and that Yardo and Stick Insect were sinners, although their respective crimes are not mentioned. We departed well after seven, dousing our camp-fires but leaving a pile of debris around the run site which later had to be removed in time for the run-site to be used for the HH3/Union Hash joint run the following week. But then that’s a different hash and a different story which you probably don’t want to hear.

You do? Oh, OK then; if you insist. Here are the two runs from the same run site, SH3 run #1480 (long run in dark blue, short run in light blue) and HH3’s run # 459 (red) the following weekend.

For the record Yardo’s run was measured at 10.1k while the HH3 run was much shorter at 9.35k. No one got lost on the HH3 run although both Toy Boy and Vaseline (Buk Toy and KY) made good efforts. Off T, chastened by his experience of the previous weekend, turned his nose up at the short-cut option half way through and did the whole run getting home well before dark and Beaver aka Sex Focus was persuaded not to take the early run home and pulled a hamstring rendering him hors de combat for the full moon run. But then that really is a different story!
On! On!


And whats more we are breeding new hashers.

To go to the Sadao H3 web site click here

And here if you want to see some pickies of the Songkhla Sadao Hash Joint Run.

Really though "we don't give a fuck"

Enjoy your life; remain free of the ball and chain.

On on, Just Rotten, RA.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Runs this week

This month's full moon run is tomorrow night (Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009, 7:00 p.m.) and details are:
Hare: Sex Printer
Misdirections: (From Songkhla) From the Ko Yo intersection take the Old Hatyai Road for 4k and turn left for 6.5k then left for 500 meters to the run site near the Napong water tower. (From Hatyai take the old Songkhla road and turn right at the Kuan Hin traffic lights then go 6.5k etc.)
Usual conditions apply: bring a hand light, some beer if you want (although Full moon special brew will be available at 3 cans for 100 Baht) and contributions of food always welcome.

Saturday's SH3 run details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1482, Saturday November 7th, 2009 4:00 p.m.
Hares: Egghead, Peppered Pussy and Only a Yolk.
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the Old Hatyai Road for 4k and turn left for 5.2k then right for 300 meters and follow the signs to the runsite chez Egg.

Hatyai H3's run on Sunday (8th November 2009, 4:00 p.m.) is being set by Sexy Pig and Off T and the run site is near the Or Bor Tor office at Tungnai and/or the adjacent chicken farm: From the Ko Yo intersection take the Old Hatyai road for 10k and turn left for about 3k and look for a sign on the right.
On! On!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Night of the living . . . yuck!

These are just a few from a quick edit that seemed to work as photos. The real blackmail material comes in a couple days . . . .