Thursday, February 28, 2013

An epic anniversary

Yes, it's hard to believe, but Saturday marks the 10th anniversary of what surely ranks as one of the most memorable events in the history of Deep South Thai hashing: the inaugural run of Sadao Hash House Harriers, held on March 2, 2003.

In honor of this epic date, Sadao H3 co-founder and On Sex Super Beaver, is his local guise as Beavershot, is preparing a very special run indeed. Well actually there's nothing special about it at all except that it happens to fall on the same date, though we do expect the beer and the memories to flow freely. Even if you're not up for nostalgia, it should be a nice un-macho run in very pleasant countryside. At least that's my story.

Misdirections:  From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7km and turn left for 8km to Wat Khao Kloi. Turn right into Punnakan and go about 5km to the intersection just before Wat Thung Ngai. Turn left and go 2.2km to the entrance to the Meditation Center. The run site is  about 400m up that road.

And to help get you in the mood, tomorrow in this space we'll feature the full original rehash from Sadao #1, complete with classic photos from renowned lensman Ken "Tusker" Straiton. Stay tuned!

And Hatyai this week...

As the hare has usurped the power of direction giving for Saturday, here are the details for HH3 on Sunday (March 3, 4:00 p.m.):

Run #:  Who knows
Hares: Up in the air (but probably one or more of Kai Jeow, Moo Sahb and Peppered Pussy)
Misdirections (Subject to change but only a bit): From Songkhla take the old Yala Road for 11.2k and turn right then follow the road ahead for about 4k (including going straight ahead at the crossroads at 2.2k) and turn right onto the road approaching Kao Ron. Follow the road for about 1k to the run site on the right.
From Hatyai, turn right at the Nam Noi traffic lights and go about 12k, then turn left into the road approaching Kao Ron and follow it for about 1.6k to the runsite on the right.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Who, me?

GM's log, star-date twenty thirteen.
Woke from a deep sleep, after a boozed-up, drugged-out evening frequenting dubious bars and massage parlors, with a deep sense of unease created by a recurring nightmare that in a fit of public spiritedness I had accepted the mantle of GM, ten years after the previous abortive effort to lead the Hash from the wilderness. 
Strangely, it seems that the normally stable Beaver (how does he constantly get me to look like some kind of Biblical prophet - it must be a special Francis of Assisi filter) shared the nightmare, as presumably did all the other good hashing-folk who partook of yesterday's erection. All I can say in my defense is that where there is discord I will bring harmony. Where there is error, I will bring truth. Where there is doubt, I will bring faith. And where there is despair I will bring beer. In fact I will just bring beer to cope with the discord, error and doubt as well, but I just thought I should strike a leader-like pose in this hour of my re-ascendance.
As for the power thing, it will pass. And don't worry about all those nice men in brown shirts who will be at the Hash from next week, they are just there to protect you!

The Cube has spoken

Egghead is just going to have to take our word for it that, a few minutes before his late arrival yesterday, The Cube as deployed by City Tits (we were fresh out of the customary virgins) selected his name. Nominally it was just for running the day's circle, but evidently The Cube had far more profound plans for him. Yes, when our annual erection reared its ugly head following the run, Egghead emerged as our new GM. There were a number of other new appointments as well, including Sex Sprinter as Cultural Advisor and R2D2 as Hare Raiser, plus continuing roles for Stick Insect as Hash Cash, Temporary Relief as Beer Bitch, and Beavershot as Bloggenfuhrer. I seem to have forgotten who was erected On Sex but then I always do.

So what can we expect from the Egghead II reign? His first term, all those years ago, was marked by the kindly and wise managerial style that we might have expected such a notable educator and intellectual. Well, forget about that now. After a few boozed-up, drugged-out years frequenting dubious bars and massage parlors, Egghead seems to have developed an assertive new power-mad personality. Which, most likely, is exactly what SH3 needs right now.

And meanwhile The Cube returns to its lair deep within the recesses of the Stickmobile. Some say that on a moonless night you can see its throbbing green glow from beneath the back seat. All we know is that once again it has done its job, pulling us back from the brink of chaos. Congratulations to all the new members of the Mismanagement Committee, and on-on!

Friday, February 22, 2013

You will obey!

Electile dysfunction

It's that time of the year again when our ultra-efficient On Sex invites us all to do our democratic duty and select the GM and his loyal committee who will guide us through the next year's hashing. Expect a missive any moment now announcing that the erection will take place, as by tradition it does, before Saturday's run, and setting out a list of the willing candidates queuing up to serve us, together with some well chosen words of appreciation for the outgoing committee (or those who have managed to remain in office throughout their arduous year of tenure).
Meanwhile, in the real world, Sex Sprinter (now wouldn't he make a good GM!) has put in a bold bid to take over the Hash again, by setting all THREE runs this weekend (yes, three, as it's full moon time again.

Details for the verbally challenged but spacially imaginative are shown above. For the more literal amongst us, details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run # 1655 "The AGM extravaganza run" Saturday, February 23, 2013, 4:00 p.m.
Hare: Sex Sprinter and ...
Misederections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 8k and turn right before Ban Dan School, then follow the road for about 1.5k to the run site.

Following the run we have all been invited to celebrate the wedding of the son of the guy who organized for us to use the last full moon run site, who is Bung's buddy, so it would be nice if lots of us could go along. "No need to shower" is the advice. Hmmm...

Sunday's HH3 and HFMH3  runs will take place from a run site adjacent to the water tower at Napong (from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k then turn left for 6k then left and follow your nose into  the run site. The hare is Sex Printer and for those intending to do the full moon run, don't forget a handlight, and some contributions of food would be very welcome. Beer will be on sale from both hashes at 3 cans for 100 Baht.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Your worst nightmare

. . . well it would be if you were a mouse. This is Yak, the pride of the Egghead feline family.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Farewell Haggishagger

March 19, 2005:
Egghead, Haggishagger, and hoist Stick Insect (off camera, careening wildly through the air) up a tree in pursuit of orchids. Click to enlarge.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Friday, February 15, 2013

Sexy Girl - So good we named her twice

Now Damage....
Get thee behind me Satan!
Official misdirections from Songkhla:
From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for about 11.5k to the run site on the left.
Run starts at 16:00hrs (Or any other proximate time)

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Rumble in the Jungle

Hare: Gan Yao sez:

"Saturdays Rumble in the jungle - Directions‏

Run Directions Saturday 16th February 16:00
Hare: Gan Yao if he can manage to get his bloated carcass round the track.
From the Koh Yor Intersection take the Old Hat Yai Road for 4.7 km, turn left. Go for 10.5 kilometers and turn left at hash sign. Go 1.5 Kilometers, turn left at sign and park next to the hares car about 500 meters down the track. Beer: 3 cans for 120 Baht at the beer truck, Performance enhancers: 2000 baht from the shifty guy behind the beer truck
On On
Gan ‘I would have done a live hare run but you would have just choked on my dust’ Yao"
Sunday's HH3 run is yet to be called. When it is you'll be the first to know!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Braniac, your days are numbered!

28 years in a Petrie dish can sure make a chicken mad!
So, Brainiac, the next time you feel like eatin' one of my brothers, you better look over your shoulder 'cos I'm gonna rip your heart out and put it in a Petrie dish!

Monday, February 11, 2013

Factcheck© : Meteorites and the lottery

OK, we're back to debunk and demystify the latest round of post-run factoidery. Except it seems that some imposter helpful fellow who styles himself as "Fat Chance©" has already investigated that ridiculous claim that February is Songkhla's hottest month. More dangerously he has also taken up Khii Leum's immortal chicken heart story. Apart from offering way too much of an insight into that mad Dutch mind of his, it is completely irrelevant to any concern we might have with poultry. As Brainiac (pictured above), Factcheck©'s chief researcher and adjudicator, puts it, "The only purpose of a chicken's heart is to keep the chicken alive until it's time to eat it."

Anyhow this leaves us with only one factoid today, i.e. are your chances of winning a lottery, say a really big lottery, less than those of being hit by an meteorite? Perky doubted it: "Think of how many people win lotteries versus how many people get hit by meteorites." Brainiac managed to find about half a dozen credible accounts of meteorites hitting people over the past few hundred years, with the most recent just a couple years ago. But of course that does indeed pale compared to the number of lottery winners. And in fact The Guardian recently published a piece appropriately titled "Afraid of being hit by a meteorite? You're more likely to win the lottery." So perhaps Sex Sprinter and Handjob, two of our most serious lottery players, are onto something after all.

Factcheck© is an exclusive service of The Online Scum for the purpose of confirming, correcting, and clarifying the more outstanding examples of factoid, blarney, and bullshit that arise at Songkhla and Hatyai Hash events. Factcheck© and the Brainiac graphic are the exclusive trademarks of The Online Scum LLC, Luxembourg. All rights reserved. Offer void where prohibited by law. Any similarity with fictitious events or characters is purely coincidental. May cause drowsiness or disorientation. Do not consult while operating heavy machinery. 

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Image is everything

Saturday's relay hare run immediately below. 5.1k is what the GPS recorded and it also suggested that the total time for the front runners was probably nearer 1hour 15 minutes allowing for the 10 minutes start for the first hare.
Above is today's HH3 run which worked out at about 6.3k and 1 hour 21 minutes. The general feeling was that a recce would have helped along with a bit more clear running, but it was a good work out with 2 great views thrown in.

Fatchance ©: Crashed and burned: February blown away by April

According to
as anyone with any ability to sense heat knows "The warm season lasts from March 4 to May 15 with an average daily high temperature above 33°C. The hottest day of the year is April 13, with an average high of 34°C and low of 24°C" .
But I claim an attack of confusion since February is the driest month with the chance of rainfall only 20% on any given day. Not much of a defence, I know, but the best I can come up with!

Fatchance ©: The long-lived chicken heart: It's in the papers so it must be true!

The Montreal Gazette, Dec 13th 1933
Kii Leum's tenuous grip on reality was given a boost tonight by the discovery that there is a grain of truth in the story of the long-lived chicken heart. But the devil is in the detail as what was kept alive was "a bit of the heart of a living chicken", i.e. a tissue culture, and rather than being irrigated with sea water, it was kept alive be being fed a " special diet of the substances forming living bodies". More details for the strong of stomach at:

Factcheck©: Oscar Wilde

(There was another factoid from last evening we were supposed to check on but the Factcheck© staff had a few too many beers and seems to have foregotten it.)

Factcheck© is an exclusive service of The Online Scum for the purpose of confirming, correcting, and clarifying the more outstanding examples of factoid, blarney, and bullshit that arise at Songkhla and Hatyai Hash events. 

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Gong xi....

With the Chinese New Year festival commencing on Saturday, none of our regular hares are available as they will all be at home letting off firecrackers and handing out little red envelopes... No? Or maybe the lack of any hares this week was because all the usual hares are going to be setting the HH3 run on Sunday to make up for all those with Chinese ancestry who are taking off for a gambling spree in Macau... No? OK, I give up. I have no idea why we are without hares, but be that as it may, the chance of another relay hare run is not to be sniffed at, so that's what we will be doing on Saturday.

Details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1653, Saturday February 9th 2013, 4:00 p.m.
Hares: Selected on the short-straw method then according to who finds the previous hare.
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection, take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 5.2k then follow signs to the parking lot adjacent to the run site in Egg Towers.

Following the run and circle, those of a mind are invited to take a shower chez ouef, then head a couple of clicks down the road to Tung Jaeng for dinner, so if you fancy joining us, bring a change of clothes and a towel.

Sunday's HH3 run will be set by the dynamic duo of Leum Kii and Moo Sahb, who will be casting aside their mild-mannered alter egos of Kii Leum and Only a Yolk, to tackle the hills adjacent to the new Hatyai road. At time of writing the precise location of the run site is a closely guarded secret, known only to the tooth fairy, but the suggestion is to ... take the new Hatyai road for about 8k and look for a sign on the left, or if approaching from Hatyai to do  U turn beyond the Ta Jinn turn-off then come back and look for a sign on the left. The run should start on time at 4:00 p.m. (tee hee hee hee!)

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Awwww . . .

A young girl and a puppy, what could be cuter? We return shortly to our usual program of 1) dogs humping and 2) KY.

Monday, February 4, 2013

A Sunday behind the CP factory

The omens were not good: our least favorite hill since the Big Storm wrecked it, Fuckrat as one of the hares, and strange changeable weather. But it all turned out fine, with a decent enough up-and-down run and the usual Hatyai good cheer afterwards. Though it was rather rich being publicly accused* of short-cutting by, of all people, Muu Sap/OaY.

*To be fair, accurately

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Great short run, shame about the length.

The trend towards SH3's short runs hitting the spot, while the long runs are greeted with mild disdain continued yesterday as the long run was judged to be too long (6.3k, 1hour-13 minutes) and to have been marred by the section at the top of the hill being "a bit rough" with the check that followed it being too difficult. Meanwhile, the short run at 4.1k was enjoyed by everybody except Ma Mick who despite having only 3 good legs, slipped his minder and made a valiant attempt at joining the long run before being captured and forced to accompany the hare.
So next week, just to enliven things (and not just because we have no hare!) there will be another relay hare run, followed by dinner at Thung Jaeng for those who are up for it. More news in the week.

Saturday, February 2, 2013