Monday, December 28, 2009

Come to the Full Moon Run, or else....

...or else the Boyotes are gonna gitcha!

Yes, the lunatics from Sunday night have been given special leave from the assylum for another outing on Wednesday night, this time to make sure that YOU turn up to the Full Moon Hash run which is:

Hatyai Full Moon H3 run #61, Wednesday December 30th 2009, 7:00 p.m.
Hares: Kai Jeow and (probably) Moo Sahb
Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 2.85k and turn right through the Zoo archway then go 0.7k and turn left for another 1.1k then right for 150 meters to the run site at the Cwm Sook Restaurant.

There will be long and short runs, and beer (Chang, Leo and Heineken) as well as food available from the restaurant at very reasonable prices (i.e. you don't need to bring any this time around), but don't forget to bring a handlight whichever run you decide to do!

Saturday's SH3 run, all being well will be as follows:

Songkhla H3 run #1490, Saturday January 2nd 2010, 4:00 p.m.
Hare: Gan Yao
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 6.5k to the run site on the left

And Sunday's HH3 run will be from somewhere close to the Orbotor office at Tung Yai (old Hatyai road 10k, turn left for 3.5k then turn right and go about 300 meters and look for signs). Hare is rumored to be Porky Sex but don't be surprised if the Beelzebubian figure of Off T is lurking threateningly in the background!

Anyone got any idea what's happening on New Year's Eve?
A Happy New Year to all my readers!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

A long and meaningless post just to get that bloody photograph off the top of the blog before the wife sees it

Well here it is in all it's glory, the last run of the year; OK so there are a few kinks to be worked out like where it will actually go and stuff like that; but they are mere details which will no doubt all fall into place come Saturday morning, barring a really bad hang-over which if Beaver's libelous post below is to be believed is not beyond the realms of possibility.
So to what is known:

SH3 run #1489, Saturday December 26th 2009, 4:00 p.m.
Hares: Egghead and Only a Yolk
Run site: Prem's place preferably in the top car park outside the old geezers pad.

This will be an A - B run and Prem's place will be the B site. There will be transport from the B site to the A site at 4:00 p.m. so it would help if everyone intending to do either the short or long runs could be there on time this week as otherwise you may find yourself wandering around aimlessly at the bottom of the hill and missing out on all that glorious ... err whatever it is wherever the run ends up going.

Next up is Sunday's (December 27th) HH3 run and party which will take place at the Tung Jaeng restaurant (New Yala Road about 8k from the Ko Yo intersection on the right hand side). The run will start at 3:30 p.m. and the party will be immediately after the circle. Masses of food and beer are promised and the entertainment will feature men in women's clothing as well as quite possibly women not in women's clothing. If you've not already registered for the event you can probably do so on Saturday. Price is negotiable depending upon your status but HH3 regulars and SH3 trusties will probably pay 100 Baht with guests from 200 Baht.

Finally there is a Full Moon H3 run planned for Wednesday 30th December 2009. There should be something firm to report by the weekend, but all being well it will be from the restaurant next to the Gor Sor Nor back gate just off the old Yala road.
And that's just about it for 2009. So on! on! to that libelous post from Beaver....

2009 Scandals, Part III: Extreme Makeover of the Year

Step aside, Tiger Woods. 2009 was the year that Egghead truly came off the rails.

It apparently began with his demotion from the most powerful man in English-language education in the Deep South to just another lowly teacher. "You could see the defeat in his eyes," said one well-known bar owner, speaking on condition of anonymity. "What else did he have left but cheap liquor and cheaper women?"

A number of notorious nightspots on Songkhla's seedy Srisuda Rd. were happy to provide both commodities. Bingeing at establishments with names like "Potato Bar" and "Bonnie Bar", the errant Egg was seen in the company of a variety of women, including both ex-students (top photo) and wives (lower photo).

Meanwhile on the home front, he progressed from a pussy obsession to kinkier realms. "He said the goat was to trim his lawn," said a new hasher, speaking on condition that we do not refer to him as Bruce. "But everyone knows goats don't eat grass." Evidently inspired by the pre-revolution nightclubs of Havana, goat shows were performed for rowdy audiences and visitors were offered short-time rooms.

"He looks like such an English gentleman," said one ex-student, speaking on condition that this reporter pay her barfine. "But inside, well, let's just say he's the kind of beast every woman secretly dreams of."

Monday, December 21, 2009

2009 Scandals, Part II: Bad Date of the Year

Rotten has always had an eye for feminine beauty, so he must have thought it was his lucky day when he wandered into the Bonnie Bar a few months ago and spotted a new young lovely called Nam. What he didn't know was that Stick Insect had just finished his own little tete-a-tete with "her", at least until Egghead had unsportingly alerted him to the fact that Nam wasn't quite what "she" appeared to be.

To be fair, after some embarrassing billing and cooing, Rotten eventually did figure it out for himself. (Perhaps he conducted a covert fertility exam?) But the real problem wasn't Nam's chromosome count. It was her inability to count beyond 500 after Rotten gave her a B1000 note. He went postal, and not for the first time in these premises.

The postscript: Shortly afterwards, following another incident, Nam was banished from the Bonnie. Rotten, as far as we know, remains under self-banishment.

Coming soon: Part III, Extreme Makeover of the Year

Where are they now?

Just returned from SHOT (KL Solstice Hash On Tour). This time it was in Saigon.

Guess what I found lurking in the bushes at Saigon H3?

None other than an ex-Songkhla H3 Hon Sec by the name of Penis Point! Seems he has been there ever since absconding from SH3 10 years ago.
Anyway it was anounced at the run that he is now the incoming GM! We must have trained him well while at SH3

Sadly he had managed to keep his real hash name secret for all those 10 years. Not any more.

Luv & Kisses, Guns and Roses,

PS : the guy behind Paul John was recruited with his wife by Opera on the plane over to Saigon! Their first ever hash!

Friday, December 18, 2009

2009 Scandals, Part I: Romance of the Year

Let's face it, Songkhla Hash is no longer a hotbed of romantic activity. Most of us have reached the age where we are set in our ways. The attached among us remain attached. The single stay single. (True, your GM this year acquired a new consort, but she's still on probation. Or maybe he is.) The once-raging fires within us have burned down to the last glowing embers.

So what an unexpected delight it is when, in our midst, true love rears its strangely beautiful, horny head. As a sensitive young farm lad, Softcock spent many a tender moment with a succession of four-legged companions. And now, thanks to a chance meeting with Egghead's goat Cherie (named after the wife of Tony Blair, Egg's secret fantasy -- Cherie, that is, not Tony), romance has blossomed once again.

There will be those who denounce man-ruminant love as unnatural, even abhorrent. But to see this happy couple gambolling over the lawn at chez Egg, as innocent and carefree as children, who can deny them their bliss? For remember, it could happen to ewe.

Coming soon: Part II. Bad Date of the Year

Songkhla Hash Ladies Nature Walk: December 19th 2009

This weeks nature walk will be led by Gan Yao, who will endeavour to find gentle trails over low hills, avoiding all that horrible mud and be back at the beerwagon before Herr Klaus Von BeerGobbler has opened his fourth can.
Adhering to our logo 'The shortest distance between two points is a straight line and we are not going up that f**k*ng hill' , we intend to
demonstrate the folly of following Rotten Johnny anywhere and the rewards of sticking to the true path.

Come on Mother, that nice
Mr Beavershot said its the
last hill.......

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

This Saturday: No poofters allowed!

After several weeks of delightful one-hour runs on nice trails without any excessive hills, your hares this week have seen the light . . . you're getting SOFT! Hear that, SOFT! What do you think this is, the Songkhla Ladies Saturday Nature Walk? What you need is a real man's run! Unless of course you're a POOFTER, in which case you could always come along anyway and grope that giant hemorrhoid that Softcock keeps pretending is a Hash injury!

Anyhow you have been warned. Hand Job got so knackered just scouting this one that she was unable to make som tam for three days!

Songkhla Hash House Harrieqwrtys Run #1488
Saturday, December 19, 2009, 4 pm. sharp
Hares: Beavershot & Hand Job
Misdirections: From Kaw Yaw intersection take the Old Hatyai Rd. 4.6km, turn left and go 8km to Wat Khao Kloi, then turn right on Punnakan Rd. Go 2.2km and runsite is in the quarry on the left.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


who proudly present...
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1487,
Saturday, December 12th, 2009; 4 p.m.
Hares: Solong and Safe Sex
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 6.2k then right and follow signs/paper to the run site.
Sunday's HH3 run will be set by Sofa and Ouab-Im. The run site is under the True Moves tower on the new Hatyai road (from the Ko Yo intersection take the new Hatyai road for 8k and turn left into the run site at the sign just before the top of the hill). Run starts at 4 p.m.
On! On!

Friday, December 4, 2009

A massage from this week's hare

Run # 1486 December 5th 2009
Hare: Gan Yao
Now, you didn’t think I was going to get to the point and give you directions straight away did you?!
I found a lovely area, low rolling hills, great running trails, beautiful views, superb potential for checks. But then I thought, that’s not what you like, so I’ve moved it to a mosquito infested hill with near vertical cliffs, no trails, covered in thorns and for
variety there’s a few areas of really obnoxious black mud! And that’s not all! The car park is toooo small!! You’ll love it!!
At the Koh Yoh intersection set your tripmeter to 0. Drive, pedal, walk or fly down the Old Hat Yai road for 3.8Km and turn left at the lights. After going 6.5Km down this road turn left into the quarry.
The quarry is small, if there is a large turnout parking may be a problem so please park carefully.

Gan Yao - So fast! So fit! So f*ing long ago!

This week's run; in which the GM returns and everyone else gets confused

The GM is back in town this weekend so we can stop behaving like a bunch of headless chickens and get back to behaving like a bunch of clueless morons. He has asked me to send out a big THANK YOU! to Gan Yao for stepping in at short notice to set this week's run the details of which are:

Songkhla H3 run # 1486, Saturday December 5th 2009.
Hare: Gan Yao
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 3.8k and turn left for 6.5k then turn left into the run site (or if you're in Daddy's Merc, you might want to park it on the road and walk into the run site).

This is the week that Gan Yao has promised to reveal the secret of why he usually goes off and does a different run from the rest of us by letting us do the run that he would do if he were setting the run from this run site (which he is), although he has confidentially let it be known that if he were running this run (which he isn't), then he would take a completely different route from the one that the hare (which he is) will be setting. So do come along and get completely confused (which I am, but then that's nothing unusual).

HH3 also have a stand in hare this week. If we're lucky it's Porky Sex but if he's feeling adventurous or vindictive he may invite Off T to join him. But hey, the last couple of runs they have set have been awesome; and HH3 are on a high at the moment after having swamped the opposition at last weeks joint HH3-Union Hash run.

Off T about
to set an

Run site is: From the Ko Yo intersection take the Old Hatyai Road for 10.2k and turn left for about 2.5k to the run site on the left. Run starts at the usual 4:00 p.m blunt.
On! On!