Friday, July 31, 2015

The Hash House Horror Show!

The centerpiece of this week's double SH3/HFMH3 run is the disused abattoir in Poonakan Road, where the SH3 run will begin in broad daylight, and the HFMH3 run will end some time later when it's dark enough for the place to be spooky, following which for those with a taste for the macabre there will be a camp-out in a deserted mansion next to the abattoir where it is said the spirits of the dead still walk by moonlight.... etc. etc.

The logistics for the run are complex but are being organised by hare, Sex Sprinter. Basically you should just turn up as normal at the run site with your camping gear if you intend to spend the night there, and go with the flow. This may  involve a white-knuckle ride on the back of a pick up to the end of the SH3 run if you want to guard the beer truck or do the short run, and if you don't wish to participate in the HFMH3 run, which will begin from the end-point of the SH3 run, then you get to experience the white knuckle ride in the downward direction! Sound like fun? Well you watch horror movies don't you? So now you get to experience one in the comfort of your very own body!

Details as far as we can reveal are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers' run#1781, Saturday August 1st, 2015, 4:30 p.m.
Hare: Sex Sprinter 
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k, then turn right (at Wat Keow Kloy into Poonakan) for 8k and turn right into Soi 10 just before the spooky abattoir. Woooooooooo! Look for a sign (probably a goats head mounted on a stick! ed.)

Hatyai Full Moon H3 run #120: all details as above except that the run itself will start from the end of the SH3 run, so anyone just wanting to come to the HFMH3 run should be at the SH3 runsite at 6:30 p.m. from whence they will be magically conveyed to the start of the run! Usual stuff applies: Bring a hand/head light and some food if you feel like it as well as some beer or whatever you will feel like drinking as there will probably only be limited supplies of Full Moon Special Brew on sale

Sunday's (2nd August) HH3 run will see a return to family values and the pleasant leafy pursuit of athletic excellence which we've all come to expect from HH3 (as well as copious quantities of food and beer to which all are welcome, indeed encouraged to contribute.) The occasion is the 30th birthday of Sex Phone, alias Yolk's Poke who is being specially bussed in for the occasion after being surgically removed from her job (who'd have thought that nice little zombie would turn into a raging workaholic?). The venue is Egg Towers:
From the Ko Yo intersection, take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 5.2k, then turn right through the temple arch at Borogam and follow the signs for about 500 meters to the runsite. Traditional map below, anyone needing counselling about their directional frailties should call either Egghead (081 9691227) or for those of a vernacular inclination, Only a Yolk (089 6542351).
The Hares are his Eggness and canine acolytes.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

G'day Mate!

Photo censored by order of ASIS
As if we didn't all know there was something not quite right about Beaver's claims to American patrimony, Belgian Eric has spilled the beans, revealing that he is actually an Aussie and that in yet another unannounced departure he will be leaving Thailand on 2nd August!

Despite these slurs, Beaver will be setting tomorrow (yes, tomorrow as in Wednesday) night's quiz at the Office Bar, brought forward by 2 days to avoid No-Alcohol day on Friday.

Things should be heading back to normal on Saturday when this week's first two runs (SH3 and HFMH3) take place from near the former slaughter house in Poonakan Road (currently undergoing renovation as a carrot processing plant). Normality will then be absolutely restored on Sunday when the HH3 run happens at Egg Towers with a party thingy happening afterwards.

More running details later, but meanwhile it might be advisable to brush up on your Aussie history (do they have one?) and culture (they definitely don't have one of those!) before tomorrow night in case Beaver decides to come out of the closet and honor his unsuspected heritage.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Too short!

Measured at 5.6k and completed by Beaver, who was by no means the first home, in 47 minutes, yesterday's SH3 run was gobbled up and spat out by the newly super-fit pack who didn't hang around long enough to appreciate the shady trails and the majestic views. But our visitors, who turned out to be from Penang Mens H3 and not Butterworth H3 as advertised, seemed to enjoy it and want to come back en masse in September.
Highlight of the afternoon was undoubtedly the appearance of Raccoon Ass, for whom levels of admiration and respect know no bounds! Several people were so awed that they found it hard to leave the runsite and were later noted to be mildly incapacitated. No names, but Softcock and Perky were definitely among them!

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Honored guests

This Saturday we will be entertaining the 10-man committee from Butterworth H3 (pictured above at their recent 35th anniversary run) who are coming up to see if we can arrange a joint run sometime later in the year.
The run details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers' run #1780, Saturday July 25th, 2015, 4:30 p.m.
Hare Egghead etc.
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k and turn left for 8k then right (at Wat Keow Kloy into Poonakan) for 1.2k and turn left on the new concrete road for 300m to the run site on the right.
Sunday's HH3 run will be set by Robocop but the runsite is unannounced so details will be added later.
Upcoming attractions include quiz night on the 31st July to be set by Beaver, a double SH3/HFMH3 run next Saturday (1st August) with a probably camp-out to follow and a surprise 30th birthday party for the aptly named Sex Phone the following day (2nd August) at the HH3 run which will be from Egg Towers. This will also be the last run before our intrepid runners depart for Siam Reap and the Angkor Empire Marathon, so make a note in your personal organizer to come along and wish our plucky lads and lasses bon voyage.

Monday, July 20, 2015

Angkor update

OK, we now have final confirmation from 12 Songkhla/Hatyai runners headed to the Angkor Empire Marathon on August 9. I'm finalizing room reservations with our hotel (Angkor Pearl Hotel) tomorrow, so anyone else interested in booking a room, please contact me within the next 24 hours. I'll email all of you after I hear from the hotel.

As it stands now, ten of us will be arriving in Siem Reap on Thursday, August 6. Stick Insect and Yardstick (still not 100% sure, but hopeful) are booked to arrive on the 7th. Most people will be coming back on the morning of Monday, August 10.

Oh, and if you're already worried about the empty hole that will be left in your life after we finally run this thing, there's good news: you can go back on December 6 and pretty much do it all over again at the 20th annual Angkor Wat International Half Marathon. Probably a better idea though is to wait a few weeks more and come join us at Vientiane Bush Hash's 1000th run weekend, January 8-10.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Two and a half hares

Conebrain and an expectant Erector returned to SH3 haring in style yesterday with a serious little run between the New and Old Hatyai Roads. It measured just 5.6km long but took the first runner in on paper (In-U-Endo) 1:07, which should give you an idea of how much up-and-down there was. My GPS watch gave total ascent as around 190m, which is either wrong or else we're losing it, because it felt like a whole lot more. On-on!

Friday, July 17, 2015

This week's hares

Ten seconds power searching on Google and only a modest period spent playing Photoshop, have produced these images dedicated to this weeks' hares, who having not so very long ago. appeared to be doomed to blubberdom, have now re-emerged as the fit beautiful (ok, not Conebrain!) young things  we always knew them to be.
Details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers' run #1779, Saturday, 18th July  2015, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Conebrain and Erector
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the new Hatyai road for 8.6k and turn left for 1.7k, then left for 300m to the run site. Park on the side of the road. From Hatyai, if you want to avoid doing a U turn, take the old road to the Nam Noi traffic lights and turn left then go 3.6k and turn right for 300m etc.
Sunday's HH3 run details are not currently part of the reality in which most of us exist, although they may be floating around in some parallel universe. But our confident prediction is that which ever universe it is that they are to be found in, they will, this week, include the words Sex and Poonakan!

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Where to live for more (or less) sex

Percentage of people having sex at least once per week (darker blue = more, darker orange/red = less)
It's a slow news week here at the Online Scum, but here's an important public service announcement. Want more sex in your life? Move to Brazil. Want even less than you're getting now? Try Japan. Apart from those extremes, there are some interesting data here. Why are all the Anglophone countries such under-performers? And just what's going on in Russia? (I've heard Russians explain that there isn't much else to do, especially in winter.) And look at the Greeks! Clearly that's the problem with their economy: they're spending all their time shagging!

Thailand? Just a little above average. For heaven's sake, it's just once a week. Do your part and at least help bring us up even with Malaysia!

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Ten years ago today

Unidentified Malaysian hasher, Sadao H3, July 2005.

Sunday, July 12, 2015


Snapper, down briefly from Bangkok. Smeghead, now bionically improved, also made the scene but was evidently moving too fast to be captured by Hash Flash.

Returning for the first time in months, a newly fit Eightball (left). He admitted to running "in private".
And a truck full of vermin from the Temporary/Cock household.
Garmin Connect tells us all about yesterday's run. Egghead remains curiously hostile to this remarkable technology.

Today's runsite has changed...

's now at Kuan Jong. If coming from Songkhla, take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k then turn right (at Wat Keow Kloy into Poonakan) for 7.5k and turn left into the Ban Nai Rai turning. Follow the road for about 3.5k then turn left and go about 300m to the run site on the right.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

1778: Just another run.

6.5 k, about 100m total ascent maximum height 83m. Stick Insect timed it at 57 minutes. Sex Sprinter was probably quicker but we can't be sure he didn't short cut, can we? The short run should have been 4.4k if they followed instructions, but they didn't, so it may have been longer!
No one complained. Mission accomplished.

Wednesday, July 8, 2015


It is possible that we may be without some of our vernacular tendency this Saturday as there is a competing event in Songkhla. But Buk Toy, Sex Sprinter and Ru Man Kap have promised to try to make it for the run even if they have to leave immediately afterwards. On the credit side Softy & Temp are back from Oz, Beaver should also be back from whatever bitch beach he's been lying on, Smeggers will be paying us his tri-monthly visit and Eightball will hopefully make a welcome return. So there are lots of good reasons for coming along and swelling the numbers, and based on last week's request, the run site will be within easy reach of Thung Jaeng, so there will probably be dinner on-after for those who fancy it.

Details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers' run #1778, Saturday July 11th 2015, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Egghead etc.
Misdirections: From the Kao Seng intersection take the old Yala road for 11.8k and turn right for about 1.5k to the run site on the right just after Wat Kao Lam. Park either in the rubber or on the edge of the football field, which does not currently seem to be in use.
For Hatyai-based runners, the quickest route involves getting to the Tha Kham crossroad, then heading East towards Sai Kao and turning left at 5.2k, as if you were heading for Kao Long. Then after 600m, bear right at the Y junction (away from K. Long) and follow the bendy road for 1.8k through a crossroad to a (second) crossroad at which go straight ahead. The run site is on the left after 700 meters.

No immediate directions available for the HH3 run on Sunday but they are likely to include the words, Sex and Poonakan and to provoke reactions ranging from amused disdain through mild horror to outright disbelief!

3,000 runners expected at Angkor

From today's Khmer Times:

SIEM REAP –The second annual Angkor Empire Marathon will take place in Siem Reap on August 9. Last year’s inaugural event drew more than 2,200 runners from 42 countries. Of the runners, more than half, 1,237, were foreigners.

This year, 1,087 people have already registered for Sunday morning races, which include the 10k, 21k and 42k. Organizers expect 3,000 to test out the new route, which starts and ends at Angkor Wat. It takes participants past Bayon, Ta Phrom, and as far as East Baray.

Last year, 415 foreigners and five Cambodians competed in the full marathon. Japanese-Cambodian comedian Neko Hiroshi finished first with a time of 2 hours, 45 minutes and 28 seconds.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Sex Sprinter to the rescue!

Just as it seemed we were doomed to a relay hare run this weekend, Sex Sprinter has saved the day again!
Details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run # 1777, Saturday July 4th, 2015, 4:30 p.m.
Hare: Sex Sprinter
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 6k then turn left at the Ban Tha Kam crossroads for about 4.5k and look for a sign on the right opposite the Sai Kao Resort.
Hatyai H3 on Sunday had not been declared as of last night (Wednesday). Directions will be posted here as soon as a knight in shining armour appears!