Sunday, July 30, 2017

In Reply

To:  Mr Gan Yao
Re:  Vacancy for a ‘Hare’ August 12th 2017

Thank you for your application to fill this position and my apologies for not answering you sooner. I only just realised you were addressing me by my pseudonym while I was checking my (fake) passport. As claimed by our foreign correspondent, reporting from Blighty, it appears you are both over and under qualified, but he was unable to substantiate your reported claims of academic excellence due to all records having been destroyed in a mysterious fire. However due to the fact that our haring department is so desperate for people to fill this vacancy, in fact they would have virtually taken anyone, we will favourably consider your application. We will conveniently gloss over your shortcomings in the experiences department.
We do have some concerns however, in that,
a)      Are we expected to actually follow the trail we anticipate you will lay with shreddy, or do we just blunder through the undergrowth until we somehow miraculously stumble upon a supply of beer, or the runsite, whichever appears first?
b)     You say you have set runs from Jakarta (Indonesia – thanks for clarifying) through Singapore and Malaysia to….? Does this mean we can expect a run which will take us all over Thailand before returning us to the bosom of the said beer supply?
We will forgo the interview as we have found previously in our organisation that they tended to be a complete waste as of time as nearly everything that is said is generally a complete load of bollocks.

A couple snaps from yesterday

Sorry, these are crap and I'm going to blame my new phone. I'd never used its camera before and don't think I ever will again. But the weather was nice, the beer was cold, and the rabble seemed to be enjoying themselves. On-on!

Saturday, July 29, 2017

A one-run experiment

It was about 5km and just over 40 minutes for the FRBs (led by Little Tool and Just In Not Yet, a nice change from the usual suspects) to the beer stop. From there the official run carried on another 2.5km around that ugly loop to the north. The hare took pity on All Black, Meals on Wheels, Handjob etc. and had them come back on the main trail, which as you can see was only about 300m from the beer stop to the runsite. 
So this was pretty much Gan Yao's idea, though he pissed off early so we're not sure how much of it he actually ran on paper. Anyhow, finally it was one run for everyone, admittedly with a shortcut back from the beer stop for those who looked liked they'd had enough. Somehow Perky didn't get the memo so he went the whole way round with his kid on his shoulders, which had to be the day's top athletic achievement.

For the hare there was considerable satisfaction in 1) a good turnout, most of whom seemed to like the run, and 2) losing Sex Sprinter onto the big hill at the upper left of the map above, where there was no paper at all. I have to admit that I borrowed large sections of this one from a run in 2014 that also "lost" SS, so it was highly gratifying to see that it worked again.

Beer stop photos to follow!

Friday, July 28, 2017

Busier Beaver

UPDATE: on the misdirections for SH3 run #1884 (Saturday July 29, 2017, 4:30 p.m.) below: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7km and turn left, Go 10.3k (past Wat Khao Kloi by 2.3 km) and turn right and wind your way 1.2 km through the village to the runsite at N 7º00.388 E 100º34.509.
Still no news about HH3's run on Sunday, but as the saying goes (particularly after last week) no news is good news!

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Vacancy for the position of 'Hare' August 12th 2017

                                                                                                                        July 27th 2017

Foe the Attention of Mr. Peter Talen - HR Dept. (Hare Raiser)

Re: Vacancy for a ‘Hare’ August 12th 2017

In response to your recent advertisement for a ‘Hare’ I am pleased to attach my resume for your consideration. I am a British honours graduate a with many years experience in the Asia-Pacific region.

I have the following experience which I believe is well aligned to the requirements of this position:
·        Thorough knowledge of the terrain in the Poonakan area.

·        Ability to compile and forward concise directions.

·        Trained by  John Duncan in the art of trail setting Guinness Koo in the shortcutting profession and John Holmes in drinking.

·        Experienced navigator.

·        Large supply of paper (mainly rejection letters for jobs)

 In my role in haring I have achieved the following (please see my CV):
  • Laid trails from Jakarta Indonesia through Singapore and Malaysia.
  • Significantly increased number of runners year on year.
  • Introduced innovative techniques.

 During my time as GM of Petaling Hash in Kuala Lumpur I personally organized numerous piss ups ensuring the pack woke up with hangovers every Sunday. I feel that my experience to date is very well aligned to the requirements of this role, and I am confident that I will be a valuable asset to your organisation. I am currently based in Songkhla, Southern Thailand but can easily relocate or commute. I am available for interview at short notice and would be pleased to work for a trial period to show my worth.

Yours Faithfully

Gan Yao BSc (Hons)

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Who, me?

I was thinking of something more like this. But after managing the "short" run on Sunday, I guess I can't play the crippled card much longer.
UPDATE: carry on past Wat Khao Kloi for 2.3 km and turn right and wind your way 1.2 km through the village to the site I've used so many times before. (I like this one because it provides almost 360º of running possibilities.) The road beyond the site still isn't very good, so we'll use the usual place: N 7º00.388 E 100º34.509.

For better or worse, this will officially be the first attempt at a single run for both long and short runners. I have a cunning plan for slowing down the former*.

And yes, please do come to the quiz if you can. My turn as quizmaster has been postponed so many times that I've probably put in more hours on this thing than in my last two or three jobs combined.

*Does beer count as cunning?

Who's a busy beaver then?

This week's SH3 run is being set by Beavershot the run site being roughly located at Nern Pijit (Old Hatyai road, 4,7k, left 10k'ish then look for a sign) More details when they emerge from the lodge.
Meanwhile, Beavershot is also the quiz master at this month's thrice rearranged quiz night which will now happen at the Office Bar on Thursday evening (27th July, 8:00 p.m.) to avoid clashing with the King's birthday. Beaver's been busily constructing this quiz for several months now and it should be a good one, so come along and take part, support, poke fun; whatever.

Monday, July 24, 2017

Birthday Run

No-one requested it but I thought I'd post it anyway. Quick facts are:  long run 6.5km including the 8 "Fs", one check-back, so about 5.5km without, and 254m up; medium (aka short) run 4.2km & 190m up; really short run 2.7km & 124m up. Make up your own comments.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Hatyai Hash in hi-rez

Here is a really big photo of the entire rabble at today's memorable* HH3 run. Click on it to see just how big it is. In fact you could right-click on it to download it and print it poster size if you really wanted and didn't have anything better to put on your wall than Palm Job's nostril hairs.

HOLD THE PRESS: It seems that Blogger, our website provider, limits the size of jpegs. Ah well, if you want the full-size file, simply contact me (via the Astral Plane) and it will be yours.

*Long, tall, steep and tortuous and yet somehow oddly satisfying. Full marks to Sex of the Man (the real one -- accept no substitutes) & co.

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Hats on for Yardo.

In honor of Yardo's birthday, today's run has been declared a silly hat run by the GM, following the success of last nights hatted event at Oscars. In a further revolutionary move, there will be a BBQ, Oops! a Braai available after the run so if you want to bring along some food to cook, then feel free. The Braai which has been donated by Curry in a Hurry who will be bringing along some chicken to grill, will be available for future hash events on demand.

Friday, July 21, 2017

OSCARS BAR is proudly celebrating its 3rd birthday this week with an open invitation party THIS FRIDAY, 21st JULY. Please come to join the celebration. Food will be provided. Wear a hat, a funky hat, any old hat or a wig, a Trump toupée, wig, a bonnet, big ears, a witches hat, or any kind of headgear. 

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Yardstick's birthday run

It's Yardo's birthday this week, so this Saturday's run (Songkhla Hash House Harriers' run# 1883, Saturday, 22nd July, 2017, 4:30 p.m.) is officially the Yardstick birthday run and in has guise as your genial hare for the week, he has provided us with the following misdirections, comments and broad hints:

"From the Khao Seng intersection take the Old Yala Road for 16km (5.3km from the NYR / OYR intersection at Ang Thong) and turn right just before Wat Kuhn Thong. Proceed for 2.0km along the concrete & bitumen road and then turn left and go 1.2km along the new concrete & dirt road to the runsite. Runsite co-ordinates are: 7° 01.922' N 100° 38.514' E

For Hatyai visitors go to the big tree in the middle of the road at Ban Sai Khao, then go straight ahead past the big tree for 1.4km and turn right for 1.2km.

As demanded by a loud minority on the tweet machine, the hare promises a boring run this week with no nasty shiggy or near vertical cliffs to scale. Furthermore there will only be one run which will be medium short / long. This is going to be hard - for the hare. No hidden paper after the check, no back-checks, although possibly a checkback or two, no running along unswept paving. Now, what else was there, no competitive running, no beer, ……..hang on a minute, that can’t be right, well, you’ll just have to come along and see. Unless you’ve got something better to do, in which case you probably don’t want to come along, as the run is only going to be set to cater for anywhere between 11 & 13 hounds. Any more or less than this, will just have to run in small circles at each check until the paper is found.
Yardstick (with a severe aversion to cold water and sitting on ice – please note Madam GM)"

HH3's run on Sunday is from behind the CP factory on the old Hatyai road (Ko Yo int. 6.5k, right 1k) and the hares are Sex of the Man, Sex Si and Sex Tour X.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Happier trails

Here is Sunday's HH3 A to B run which was generally praised despite being over 8k without the F's and X's of which there were several and where the also several 360's didn't cause any problems. Set by a cast of 1000's,(6 pussies and 7 dogs which didn't include any of the Egg mutts) the run started with  an attempt on the world record for packing people into the back of pick ups as the whole hash was squeezed into two trucks for the first leg to the beginning of the long run. The first half of the run was a fairly flat and quite gentle 3.7k to the beer stop sponsored by Scud, with everyone bar Nosin, who had found alternative transport back to the rusite, embarking on and completing the longer second half /short run over the hill taking in the high point of 145m in the process before taking a slightly different route home than usual from that point. No complaints other than that we all had to get our feet wet, apparently because Moo Sahb had to take a phone call at the strategic moment when the run should have lurched into the top end of the quarry, instead blundering onto the wrong side of the river which now protects the run site from dry access. But by that point  most people were just happy to get home in good time.

A vexing check

Here's the check that caused us the most trouble on Saturday. It felt like it took forever, though it was probably only around 20 minutes. It turned out to be a bit of a back check, very cleverly around the side of the hill we'd just come up. It would have been perfect on a Hatyai run . . . .

Saturday, July 15, 2017

1882: Hmmm.....

As the GPS file will confirm, the long run with all the F's and X's was 6.7k, and without them it was a mere 5.5k, and anyone who had had a mind to, could have short cut the ass out of the run simply by following the well-worn trails around the top of the valley, which we have all run a hundred times. But sadly with a pack of only 7 people there were simply not enough people to check, with the result that the run took 2 hours to complete by a pack who made their views plain by refusing to so much as talk to the hare afterwards. Such is life.

The short run in contrast came back happy which is surprising as the live hared run was 4.4k and had a total ascent of 127m which is unusual for a short run. Ok, it didn't even come close to the long run's 400m nor did it's high point of 125m rival the long run's 288m; but still...

But the comments that were made today were correct, if we have to plan runs for small packs then checks have to be quite easy and we probably need to stick to trails. But what happens if we suddenly have a larger pack as could have happened today?

'Nuff said.

Friday, July 14, 2017

Roadworks avoided

A slight change in both Saturday's run site and the route to it is necessitated by some roadworks behind Ban Sai Kao. So please follow the misdirections below carefully or you will end up being faced with some very wet cement:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run# 1882, Saturday July 15, 2017.
Hares: Egghead and Harram
Misdirections: From Songkhla, take the old Yala road for 11k and turn right (1k past the  Angthong intersection) on the road leading to Kao Lam. Follow the road for 2k to a crossroads and go straight ahead, then follow that road as it bends through a village, another crossroads and another village for 2.2k. At the crossroads (with the Tha Kam-big tree road) just beyond the new temple arch for Kao Long, go straight ahead towards the western side of Ban Sai Kao and follow the concrete road for 400m then bear right at a Y junction and go for a further 400m. Turn left and follow the track over a concrete bridge for 200m, then at the T junction, turn right and follow the road for 900m to the run site. (The run site is at N7 01.464 E100 37.164 and is one we have used several times recently near the waterfall). For anyone who prefers to go all the way up the OYR  for 16k and turn right at Wat Khun Thong, the turning is not the one near the big tree, it is about 1k beyond it in the direction of Sai Kao Resort on the left.
From Hatyai take the road east out of Tha Kam and go about 5k then turn right at the crossroads opposite the new temple arch and follow the directions above. There was talk last Sunday of a visit to Thung Jaeng after the run but that may or may not happen. But it's probably worth bringing some ear plugs along just in case!

Sunday's HH3 run is a pussy run and will be an A to B run so please try to be at the B site by 4:00 p.m. or give someone a ring to let them know you are on the way. The B site is on the new Yala road, on the left hand side, 3.5 k up from the Ko Yo intersection. The hares include, Moo Saab, Budokan, Sexy Cop and NGV, but there will undoubtedly be more on the day.

Sunday, July 9, 2017


Here. courtesy of Little Tool, is the track for yesterdays much appreciated In-U-Endo run, which was almost exactly 7k and with the beer stop included, Little Tool timed it at 1hr 24mins. The orange and yellow blobs are the run site and the beer stop is the purple blob at the bottom. A quick pass over Google Earth suggests that the run only got over 100m once, emphasizing how much good country there is in the area without trailing all the way up the hills. Good Haring!

The short run seemed to bring satisfaction except to SuperPig and Squealer who high tailed it back from the run site after the first climb. Egghead continued his current inability to follow a trail, getting lost on the final descent to the run site which also fooled the late arriving Stick Insect who managed to do the short run even working out the switch in the paper all by himself.

Another small but meaningful turnout, but then everybody went out and did some sort of run, so maybe we've just lost all our beer truck guardians (whoever they may be!) On on to HH3 today which will be followed by a small run-site gathering in honor of Superpig's birthday, retimed from tomorrow leaving the coast clear for Keeling's farewell party at Oscars from 2:00 p.m. tomorrow when we will all be able to (legally!) drink beer again.

Saturday, July 8, 2017

HH3 Tomorrow

HH3 run directions for tomorrow, July 9th 2017, (map above): From Wat Keow Kloy take Poonakan Rd for 5.5k and turn left then follow the road for about 4k and turn right at the hash sign on the road heading up Kuan Lao hill for about 1k to the run site.

Friday, July 7, 2017


...and lots of them!
First up, Saturday's SH3 run details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers' run # 1881, Saturday July 8, 2017, 4:30 p.m.
Hare: Innuendo
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection, take the New Hadyai  road.for 8.5 km and turn left for 1.1 km, then turn left near the sala for 700 m to the run site. If you are coming from the Nam Noi traffic lights on the old Yala road, the turning is 4.4 km and on the right.

Next, Hatyai H3's run has been moved from its originally announced location and will now be somewhere in the general Poonakan area. More details later when the final location is announced

Also on the move is Keeling's farewell party which has shifted to Monday (10th July) and to Oscar's Bar in Sisuda road where there will be a Braai (BBQ for the uninitiated) available for you to grill your own food, plus Little Tool has promised some tandooried stuff as well. The party will start at 2:00 p.m. and carry on until late.

And finally, don't forget the quiz night tonight at the Office Bar starting at about 8 p.m. when Eightball will be the quizmaster  and the hash team who will hopefully have recovered from their hangovers from last night's excellent full moon run will be pitting what's left of their brains against all comers.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Free beer!

For anyone vacillating about coming to the full moon run tonight, it's been declared a free beer event courtesy of sponsorship from Scud and HFMH3. It may also be possible to arrange transport for Songkhla'ish people if needed.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Full Moon Sex

This month's full moon run will be set tomorrow (Thursday 6th July, 7:00 p.m.) by Sex Printer from his favorite run site out in the wilds of Sai Kao: From Songkhla get to the big tree at Ban Sai Kao by your favorite route (or if you haven't got one take the old Yala road for 16k and turn right before Wat Khun Thong then go 3.5k) then go west for about 1.5k and turn left at the hash sign and follow the road/track for about 1.5k to the run site. From Hatyai get to Tha Kham and head east (towards the big tree) for about 4.5k and look for the hash sign on the right just after the Sai Kao resort. There's a map below (or here if you like links, where you'll also find some estimated coordinates). Usual stuff applies, bring a hand/head light of you are intending to run, some food if you think you'll be hungry after and some beer to share with your mates if you feel like it, or buy Full Moon Special brew at 40 Baht a can.
Also worth a mention at this stage is the quiz night on Friday night, postponed from last week to accommodate Eightball's party and he will be setting the quiz, so the hash team or what's left of look good to extend their run of victories. There should also be a Bring and Braai farewell party for Keeling on Sunday (9th July), but the alcohol ban this weekend has forced a rethink on the location as the bars in Songkhla will probably all be closed or serving soft drinks. Watch this space for more details.
Finally, details of this weekend's two runs will be posted here after tomorrow night's full moon run, but Innuendo's SH3 run on Saturday will be behind Nam Noi and Sunday's HH3 when last heard was being mooted as a mini-outstation out at Phru Toh near the autistic school. Full details to follow.
Looks like it's going to be a devil of a run! Geddit? Huh? Huh?