This is Jessica Alba . . .

. . . with her boobs hanging out (or at least peeking through). Any objections?

Living la Vida Loca

Hash mascot K.Y. showing his dance moves.

1719 - a hounds eye view

Perhaps not quite the run the hare set and certainly not that which he intended, after an early bath knocked out the spare GPS as well as his smart phone, rendering him incommunicado as well as directionally clueless. But the result was declared generally satisfactory with the front end of the pack mildly enthusiastic and the late arrivals less complimentary. 

Total distance was measured at 6.1k with the total ascent just under 300m and the maximum height 189m. But some indication of the difficulty factor can be gleaned from the fact that the run took just under 1 hour 30 for the FRB's with Fuckin'Lucky and Buk Toy closer to 2 hours. Much of that time was spent laboriously seeking the hash equivalent of the North-West passage, a route along the ridge above Ban Chumpor, which Stick Insect swears he found but which perished with the demise of the GPS. He came within 300m of his goal before being forced down into the valley to ascend more or less by the conventional route although eschewing the nice path up the valley in favor of laboriously pruning a "trail" up the river bed. 

The descent was via the now largely concreted Chumpor 1 with a final check at the bottom which seemed to defy any form of directional logic but was actually only about 300m from the run site. Short Screw who got away with a combination of short and long runs was somehow first home closely followed by Sex Sprinter, Beaver and a dog-encumbered GM who got away with some GPS guidance over the final stretch - look high office has its benefits!

As befitted a birthday run, the hare provided free beer and the beer truck did precious little business. With the pussies otherwise engaged, only City Tits and the returning Handjob contributed food, and he apres-run was truncated by a rumor of a visit to the ailing After Ours in hospital. Happily she was later released and was at home before the curfew fell. 

Well! A Donkey!

All the information about this week's run (including the inscrutible illustration above)  comes straight from the horse's... well maybe that should read, donkey's mouth. So in keeping with our fine tradition of reproducing run directions verbatim, here are this weeks SH3 details:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1720, Saturday May 24th,2014, 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Stick Insect

Misdirections: Quote From Khao Saeng, take the Chana road for 7.1km (immediately past the 7km. milestone), turn right, into Soi Chumpho 11. Go 600m to the end of the Soi. Park in the coconuts. Unquote 

O.K.? Comprendo? Savvy? No need for clarification? No one bothered by the flouting of our traditional nomenclature? 

Good! (But just in case you are, he means the Khao Saeng intersection and the old Yala road!)

Directions to HH3's run on Sunday appear below and are as inscrutible as the picture of the donkey in the hole above... Now wait a minute, what's the other name for a donkey?

From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k and turn keft
for 8 k then right into Th. Poonakan for about 5.5k then turn left at the turning
before the turning before Wat Tung Nai!

Some vagueness dispelled

Message from the hare reads: "รายละเอียด แค้มปิ้ง วันเสาร์
จะมีขึ้นหรือไม่ ขึ้นอยู่ที่ ถ้า ช่วงบ่ายฝนไม่ตก ก็จะมีแค้มปิ้ง
แต่ใครที่คิดจะมีแค้มปิ้ง ก็ควรเตรียม เต้นท์ และ อื่น ๆ 
ไปจอดรถไว้ที่บ้าน บักทอย เวลา 3.00 น. แล้วขึ้นรถไปยังที่แค้มปิ้ง" 

Which roughly translated probably means that the camping will be dependent on whether or not it rains, but those wanting to camp should take a tent etc. There will be a convoy leaving Buk Toy's place at 3:00 p.m. for those who want to drive up the hill to the camping site.

It's all gone vague

The Scum's directional department is currently undergoing some minor problems with its run-detectors, aggravated by the absence of the occupant of it's vernacular desk who is currently recuperating from some minor throat surgery in a location known only to the directional department who has been sworn to secrecy by the vernacular desk.
So the best that can be reported is that Saturday's SH3 run will be approximately located as follows:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1718, Saturday 17th May 2014, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: (to include) Sex Sprinter and Buk Toy
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersecton take the new Hatyai road for 8.5k and turn left, then follow the road for ... 1.5k (?) and turn left and follow the road/track for...(? - a distance), to the run site about half way up the hill.
The run will be followed by a camp-out at a location known only to the hares, but probably at the top of the hill shown above, which is accessible only to 4-wheel drives with a death wish (see the Hatyai Hash, facebook page, รวมพลคนแฮช (สงขลา) for the gory details!) More information will be posted as it becomes available, but those interested in camping out should bring a tent and likely some food and beer as well which will be carried up to the point illustrated above in a 4-wheel drive, while mere mortals will be asked to walk up from the main run site.
Sunday's HH3 run is also only approximately located at present with the run site likely to be on the southern side of the main Phatthalung-Chana highway, accessible from the traffic lights at Nam Om. Rough directions are: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left then go about 13k to the junction with the Chana road and turn right for about 5k to the traffic lights at Nam Om. Turn left and follow signs to the run site. Hares: currently unknown. However this is probably a run not to be missed as its predecessor about 8 years ago was run deep in completely virgin territory and as well as some great running, featured the only durian stop known to hashing, manned by luscious ... young ladies (ok, Superpig) offering fragrant fruit to the exhausted runners. Mmmmm!

The Semi-Live Hare Run

Or possibly the half-dead hare run, depending on your point of view. At least that’s how one of the hares felt after Friday night’s  quiz show, which as predicted ended in a stupendous win for the victorious SH3 team. Well when I say team, it was actually left to half the team to provide most of the answers while the other half sat in a daze through most of the questions which were almost exclusively music related. I will leave it to other sources to disclose who the reticents in question were.
Some difficulty was experienced by the pack in finding their way around the first part of the run, namely at the second check which had the hounds searching far and wide for the track which had cunningly turned in on itself. Only a Yolk & Egghead were seen approaching to within 50m of the third check, where Yardstick was waiting after making sure all the checks were undisturbed and in place. As it was all the checkbacks and false trails up until that point worked perfectly and the hounds were sent running around in circles before reaching the third check and the start of the hillclimb section of the run.

Only Softcock and OAY took advantage of the medium run cutout (in magenta) while the rest of the smallish pack continued onwards and upwards to C05, and from there one of the most enjoyable downhill runs in the Songkhla area to F06. The third checkback at C07 proved to be problematic for some of the front runners and the long runners struggled back to the runsite in even smaller packs.

Lucky enough while waiting for the remainder of the long runners to never advance past C07 a bedraggled Short Screw and Jack (maybe someone could lob in with his new hash name) turned up, after having missed the short run turn off and doing the medium run instead. Yardstick, SS & son arriving back at the runsite in 1 hour & 50 minutes. Times and comments on the other runs I’m sure will be posted by other persons.

The statistics for the run were as follows:

The long run was clocked at 9.3kms, including all 9 checks, 10 false trails & 3 check-backs. The total ascent was 360m, while the maximum height achieved was 174m above the runsite. The medium run was 6.2kms long, again including the false trails and check-backs, and reached a height of 87m with a total ascent of 222m.
The short run was a lengthy 4.9kms, which included 5 checks, 4 false trails and one checkback. The total ascent was 145m.

Peter and Gordon redux

This week's SH3 hares, the dynamic duo formerly know as Peter and Gordon, will be doing their best to restore the Hash to some sort of normality this weekend, whatever that is.
Details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1717, Saturday May 10, 2014, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Yardstick and R2D2
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left  for 6k, then left (at Ban Tha Kham) for 4.5k to the run site on the right, almost opposite Sai Kao Resort. (Route-savvy hashers will realise that coming from the old Yala Road via the right-hand 16k turn-off at Wat Khun Thong will bring them to the run site in about 5.5k on the left hand side. But beware, there are likely to be no signs on the eastern route.)

Sunday's HH3 run details are mapped below. The squeamish are advised not to look too carefully at the location until about 2 minutes before they are intending to depart from home, having already made sufficient preparations to make a change of heart unlikely! Hares are the Sex People, Who it has to be said set a pretty fair run last Sunday, given the conditions, in a not dissimilar area. So c'mon, give 'em a chance to surprise you!

Finally, the quiz nite postponed from last week will definitely take place this Friday (May 9th) at the Office Bar at 8:00 p.m. The Hash intelligensia are currently undergoing intensive therapy in an attempt to restore them to the fever pitch they had reached when last week's quiz was cancelled. They need all the support they can get!

On! On!

Egg

1716: Turning the hash upside-down

Yesterdays SH3 run, although attended by only 14 people and 4 dogs was by common consent a great success. The format was simple: run, find beer hidden at each of the 5 checks, drink it all, run again.

Somewhere between the 1st and 3rd checks however, most of the traditional long runners found the demands of running and drinking beer in quick succession too much to cope with and substituted 'have a pleasant stroll' for run. Meanwhile the short runners left the long runners in their wake as they forged ahead with the result that at the 4th check, where the beer was hidden in the back of the Eggmobile, it was Mucky Pup and 'Jack' who arrived first, followed by Harram, dogfully sweeping behind the kids to make sure they didn't get lost, followed by R2D2, Crackwurst and new runner Jidapa. Only after they had been held up at the check for about 15 minutes did the rest of the pack stroll in looking for a top up. By that time they had taken about an hour and a half to complete a little under 4k, consuming  a case of Leo along the way and with the prospect of another case to consume there was some suggestion that the run should be abandoned.

But by this time, the short runners had already departed onwards so a compromise was struck with the rest of the pack agreeing to 'run' to the next check/beer stop and then to accept a lift home. With only about 700 meters of running between the two checks but a 2k journey by road, it was clearly going to be a race between the pack and the Eggmobile, which resulted in a tie, the first runner appearing round the corner as the Eggmobile 3-point-turned into place. Needless to say, by this time, the short runners had already cracked the check and were on their way home under their own steam. Oh, and the first runner to arrive at the beer stop? Gan Yao of course - who else!

Back at the runsite, the long runners narrowly beat the short runners home, but then the short runners did actually complete the whole 5.6k of the run with the long runners managing only about 4.5k but then showing their true mettle by drinking not only the remains of the run-beer but also the contents of the beer truck. Stumps were drawn at about 11:00 p.m with Stick Insect, Short Screw, Innuendo and Egghead putting the world to rights while Mucky Pup and 'Jack' watched Mr. Bean.

Quiz nite postponed

The quiz nite tonight has had to be postponed. Ah well; we were so confident!