Replay of Another Old Geezers Run

As promised by the hare there were only low hills, the run never went higher than 100m above the lowest point on the run; refreshments supplied during the course of the run, although due to logistical problems some of the front runners on the long run missed the third beer stop, the beer truck driver having absconded with the hare’s beer truck. There may have been a slight exaggeration of the slopes being suitable for prams, unless they were of the 4 wheel drive, low range, oversized wheel variety. The run was also relatively short as it never ventured further than 1.0 km from the runsite, this at the first beer stop. In fact most of the run was within 500m of the runsite, not much further than a well thrown beer can, so how a number of runners managed to find extra long shortcuts, was quite surprising.

 

The statistics for the long run were as follows. Total length of the run (including all false trails) was 8.5kms, total ascent 399m, There were 8 checks, 10 false trails, 2 checkbacks & 3 beer stops. Apparently, by his own account, Stick Insect was the only runner to go down all the false trails, our Hatyai brethren seeming to use their sixth sense to evade going down trails which had the dreaded ‘F’ at their end.

The short run was a mere 3.1kms with a total ascent of 146m, unless you were Softcock who attempted to run parts of the short run several times.

Tragedy at Tesco

Fear not, the jackbooted Egghead will never silence the world-class investigative journalism you have come to expect from The Online Scum. Be it beavers, chocolate, or chocolate beavers (from Yorkshire!), we bring you the important issues of the day without fear or favor.

Today's shocking story concerns the khaao khluk kapi at Hatyai Tesco. Yes, that most traditional and authentic of Thai dishes, utterly defiled by the Satanic Vegetable. How far will the forces of darkness go to insinuate this agricultural horror into every bite of food that we take? Stand up and be counted! Boycott Tesco until they renounce this abomination!

Beavers? Chocolate? Are we going soft?

Anyone who follows this blog will know that from time to time its posters are inclined to go a little off the rails and betray the essentially macho ethic that hashing represents. But sympathy for tapeworm infested rodents, and chocolate as a health drink? This is going too far!
So it is comforting to report that these pinko liberal feminist-inspired vegetarian tendencies will be soundly trodden on with a firm hand this weekend when Yardstick assumes the bag and steps forth unaided to boldly lay where no real man hath lain these twelve months (or a couple of weeks anyway).
Details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1728, Saturday July 19th 4:30 p.m.
Hare: Yardstick
Misdirections (quoted verbatim): From the Samrong road junction go 16.0 kms along the old Yala road (from the new Yala road junction go 5.3 kms) and turn right just before Wat Kunthong. Go 2.0 kms from the wat and turn left down the dirt track for 1.2 kms to the runsite. Take care when going past the 2^nd house on the left as there are a number of puppies, ducklings and small chicks wandering about on the track.

If coming from Hatyai go 1.5 kms past the ‘big’ tree in the middle of the road before turning right down the dirt track.

Cultural note: The tendency for established members of the hash to indulge in unnecessary revisionist amendments of long standing locational nomenclature has been noted previously, but our warnings of the possible deleterious effects of such flaunting of established conventions have once again been ignored. Let it simply be stated that "Samrong Road Junction" is NOT an acceptable description of the Kao Seng intersection despite the large blue road sign which asserts otherwise!

Hatyai Hash on Sunday will be following the way of the living monk to the Kuan Samroot Maditation centre (per the big white signs in the area). Details from the map below, or take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k, turn left and go 8k then turn right into Poonakan for about 6.5k then turn left towards Ban Nai Lai and follow the road for about 2k. Turn left and follow the track for about 1.5k to the runsite close to where the maditating monks are to be found. The hares, it cannot be hidden, are Robocop and Sex Racing, but then when did that ever stop us from having fun?

Save Britain's beavers!

Do your part to save the wild beavers of Devon: buy a beaver a beer this weekend!

The ultimate post-run drink (hint: it isn't beer)

More new evidence that chocolate milk is "the runner's best friend" in last week's Guardian. Researchers discovered its benefits by accident: they were using milk as a control while testing a variety of electrolyte sports drink, only to find that the control subjects outperformed all the others. Apparently its secret is its 3:1 ratio of carbohydrates to protein, ideal for replenishing glycogen levels after hard exercise.

SH3's Dr. Stick Insect has performed his own studies on chocolate milk after running, concluding that mainly it made him feel nauseous. For the record, beer does contain a little protein: about 1g per can, vs. roughly 10g of carbohydrates, for a 10:1 ratio. So possibly a beer and, say, a piece of chicken is just about right, and a whole lot more satisfying than a glass of chocolate milk.

Who, me cixelsyd?

Anybody else notice this on the way to the runsite yesterday?

Sunday best

Yesterday's HH3 run: 7.1k without the F's and X's about 8.5 if you were unlucky enough to find them all. Including the beer stop the run took Sex Tsunami just over 1 hr 30 mins with the whole pack back home within another 10 minutes. The total ascent was 360m and the highest point reached, according to Google Earth, was 221 meters both at the 3rd check and also on the road after the 4th check. The short run which took the ridge trail from the 3rd check then the road down was around three and a half klicks. Short runners were offered the en-route option of a diversion to the beer truck which only Moo Sahb, Full Moon and hare, Lucky opted for. A smallish turn out, possibly due to the after effects of Saturday's double run binge were faced with a mountain of food, which they for the most part consumed. The remnants of the full moon sponsored beer were not quite consumed and a small balance has been included in the HFMH3 assets!

Beyond Faith

With the full moon falling on Friday, there will be 3 runs this weekend, 2 on Saturday and one on Sunday. Saturday’s runs will both be from behind Prem’s place and will be followed by a camp out for those who don’t fancy the drive home. Details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1727, Saturday 12^th July 2014, 4:30 p.m.

Hares: Sex Sprinter and Buk Toy

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Yala road for 800 meters and turn left then follow the road as it bends right after 600m up the hill to the Home of Faith. Follow the road round the back of the HoF and beyond it for about 500m. The run site is on the left. Parking is rather restricted so anyone not intending to stay the night might be better to park either in the HoF car park or on the road before the entrance to the run site.

Hatyai Full Moon Hash House Harriers run #111 (hares as above but spelled differently!) will follow the SH3 circle starting around 6:30 – 7:00 p.m. Following the full moon run, beer will be provided courtesy of our generous sponsors (and it’s still not too late to pledge a slab!) and there will also be a BBQ and other food, mainly courtesy of the lunar pussies, but any additional contributions will be welcome. 

If you intend to do the HFMH3 run, don’t forget to bring a hand-light and for those intending to camp out, a tent, ground sheet, sleeping bag, air mattress, mosquito net, primus stove, bathing water, shower kit, and towel are recommended by Nanny (but probably unnecessary as beer has the wonderful property of rendering the user completely numb to the deprivations of the outdoor life!)

Sunday’s HH3 run (July 13^th, 4:15 p.m. or thereabouts) will be set by Kai Jeow who is making the usual exaggerated claims about how wonderful the trails are and how many of them we have never run before. But humor him and come along; he is also promising a considerately located beer stop about which he can probably be trusted even if the rest proves to be hyperbole. 

The run site is behind Sai Kao village: From the Kao Seng intersection take the old Yala road for 16k and turn right before Wat Kunthong. Go 3.5k and turn left just after the big tree. Go 200 meters and bear right then follow signs/paper through the village for about 1k to the run site on the concrete road. For Hatyai dwellers, take the old road towards Songkhla and turn right at Nam Noi, then go about 12k and turn right just before the big tree etc. Slightly dodgy large scale map plus more accurate map of the end of the route below. Note the turn is right (not left) after 200 meters which will be signed as will all the major changes of direction through the village.

Parking advisory: It is strongly suggested that we should park on the road as the ground is very soft under the rubber and we don’t want to piss the villagers off. There is no problem circling under the rubber but cars are better on concrete!

Note the turn is right (not left) after 200 meters which will be signed as will all the major changes of direction through the village.

Snake porn!

No one who was on today's SH3 run will ever forget the live sex show put on by two snakes. Video attached - click it to make it big'n'fuzzy!
But even without that, it was a pretty good run, done by the long and (most of the) short runners in about 1 hour 40 minutes. The GPS had it at 7.3k with a total ascent in the low 200's and a highest point of 150 meters. It just goes to show that collectively we can set great runs even if individually we sometimes fall short of the mark! The hares who acheived this miracle were: Aftershock, Sex Sprinter, Egghead, Stick Insect, Kii Ling and Sex Sprinter (again). The track went anti-clockwise frrom the runsite, then clockwise round the small loop then anti clockwise round the outside in a bigger loop instead of risking hitting the road.

Two runs and a quiz night

The Bald Gits vs Cap'n Yardstick and his merry band of older adults

This week's SH3 run will, by special request, be a relay hare run. Details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run # 1726, Saturday July 5th 2014: straws drawn at 4:15 p.m., first hare leaves at 4:20 p.m., pack leaves 4:30 p.m.
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k and turn left, then go 8k and turn right (at Wat Keow Kloy into Thanon Poonakan) for 1.2k then turn left and go 500 meters along the track to the run site. Map below

For anyone who has not done this before, the first hare is selected by drawing straws and gets a 10 minute start on the pack. They can set two 360's, the first one being a normal check. But at the second one, instead of restarting the paper, they hide within 100 meters of the check and wait to be found. The person who finds them is then given the bag of paper and a GPS with the run site marked. They then get a 5 minute start and repeat the procedure until they are found at their second check and hand on the paper. Generally each of the previous relay hare runs have involved about 5 different hares before returning to the runsite in about 6k / 1 -1½ hours.

Sunday's HH3 run is being set by (Sex) Tsunami and family and the run site is along the Hatyai-Chana highway around Namom, opposite the PTT station (from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k and turn left then follow the road past Wat Keow Kloy and Wat Nerm Pijit, for about 15k to the Hatyai-Chana highway. Turn right and go about 8k to the runsite on the left). Map below for Hatyai dwellers who should look for a U-turn sign on the Hatyai-Chana highway about 5k past the Klonglien intersection on Kanjanawanit Road.

Before all that, there is a quiz night at the Office Bar on Friday (4th July: 8:00 p.m.), when the hash team will attempt to restore their shattered pride by overcoming the bald gits in the foreground above, who handed out such a thumping defeat last time around. The Hash team have been undergoing special training to "increase their cognitive function" (see below: The health benefits of drinking beer) and the Office Bar is giving them support by offering a buy-3-get-one-free policy on beer during the quiz. Things get even more generous later in the evening when the World Cup quarter final between France and Germany begins at 11:00 p.m. when the offer becomes buy-2-get-one-free, but by that time the Hash team as "older adults" are likely to be safely tucked up in bed, possibly on their own! The quiz master is French Eric so inserting a Babel fish in your ear before you arrive would be sensible.