It’s True!

Run #1475: Hare revealed as dangerous psychopath with erectile dysfunction as R2D2 DeTACts a towering blunder
Shock! Horror! For the second successive run, SH3 lost a runner last week as R2D2 discovered that the erection formerly known as the DTAC tower on the new Hatyai road is actually owned by TrueMoves. But this raises the serious question of why he needed to consult the literalist wing (as opposed to the approximative wing who would have understood what he meant) of the Hatyai Agrarian Liberation Front for directions when he was only 200 meters from the run site and why he couldn’t just follow the paper like the rest of us. This was undoubtedly because by that time the paper, which earlier in the afternoon had been described as small insignificant white rhomboids liberally doused with water and trodden into the mud had turned into small insignificant black rhomboids etc. The Hash’s analysist Dr Jungfraufondel comments:

“Undoubtedly die loss of paper at such eine important point in der run ist directly die responsibilitie of das hare and zat vot ve haf here is the verk of ein seriously disturbed und split personality. In fect dere ist clear evidence of der rare personality disorder, sexophrenia at verk.
Here ist eine normal run.

Notice die clear backround und der smooth outline von der run indicating that das hare ist eine normal human being.
On der udder handen, Saturday’s run shows many abnormalities.

Saturday's run

First, der background is not clear suggesting that das hare vishes to obscure his trail instead of making it clear und nicht difficult vor die hunden (who ist generally drawn from der unter intellegencia menschen) to follow. Secondly, die run does not start vere it vas supposed to. Der run site was stated to be onder der DTAC tower vereas die hare hast been unable to make der tower to start die run. Zis suggests to me that der tower ist for das hare eine penis symbol unt zat das hare ist intimidated by its erect nature unt its great length. Derefore he hast chosen instead to set die run from inside a long warm tunnel in die ondergrowth, sheathed in rubber, suggesting a secret desire to crawl back into die vomb. Tirdly, Die Trail ist also seriously bent and demonstrates a number of unusual features. Notice that dere vere two attempts to create features similar to an erect penis, suggestive of das hare suffering from some form of erectile dysfunction and using the run to compensate for his inadequacies. It is also apparent that der hare experiences fantasies of being eine damen because der hare ist making eine vagina with eine narrow neck unt eine fallopian tube. Dis strongly suggests to me zat der hare hast eine overdeveloped feminine side vich may be eine contributory factor to his inability to stiffen die meat as vie psychologists say. Finally it is obvious from der schtatistiks for dis run dat dere hast been eine nomber of attempts at massaging its length.

Artist's impression of the underlying run.

Der underlying trend ist for eine short run of around 4.4 kilomet with none of the pseudo-genital features present in die final version of das run, the length of which increased with massaging to 6.7 kilomet. Again dis vud strongly suggest to me zat der hare is attempting to compensate vor inadequacies in the penile area und was trying to fool his feminine side into thinking that it was actually longer than it really was. All in all I vuld suggest zat der hare ist ein dangerous psychopath who should only be allowed to set runs vile under restraint probably on a leach and zat he should be accompanied by at least 5 udder hares preferably all damen who should seek to reassure him zat lack of length ist nothing to be ashamed of und zat it ist not how far UP it can go zat matters but vot you do with it when you get it dere.”

The frequency with which SH3 finds itself temporarily misplacing it’s runners suggests that we may need to to amend our description to “ a drinking club for the directionally challenged with a running problem” It also once again raises the thorny question of what we should be using to set our runs, since it is notable that no one got lost the following day at HH3 when the run was set with enough shreddy to line an elephant’s litter box for a year and still not notice the wet patches. Yet the appeals in this organ for MORE SHREDDY please! Seem to fall on deaf ears. Where are you Schlumberger? Halliburton? Sperry Sun? Knackerwurst? when we need you?

Ho Hum. For the record we greeted Sven the vagabond helicopter pilot for whom Phuk seemed loath to accept responsibility, and Manijeh from Iran who is Neda’s Mum, here in Songkhla for a couple of months, and we welcomed back perenial returner Wi Wi as well as Nanking and Whoremonger who all being well, will be returning again at the end of November with a crowd of KL Full Moonies. Peppered Pussy and Yolk’s Poke had new shoes and suffered the punishment for it, It was Temporary Relief’s birthday and she, Softcock and Crackwurst subbed as hares for the cannine culprits of the run, Softdog, Illegal Beagle and Korean Barbecue who had wisely stayed at home. Solong found the irate R2D2 wandering along the new Hatyai road, finally having realized that the tower he sought belonged to TrueMoves and was not the DTAC one down by the new mosque (no doubt conveniently placed there to aid the detonation of bombs!). It was generally agreed as having been an interesting and enjoyable run and there was a marked reluctance to quit the runsite induced by Softcock having bought the beer truck which we narrowly failed to drink, there being one can remaining which was given to the beer truck driver as a present for Eid!
On! On!





Egghead