A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

Here it is, in all its evil glory: run 1494 – the monster that ate Softcock!

Shame really; it looked good in the pre-planning stages, tortuously wracked from the memory of at least 4 previous runs and as Rotten Johnny so perceptively commented, bolted together so you could almost not see the joins. Yes, there was nothing we haven’t done before, although a couple of the tacky bits used to stick the trails together were a bit, well… tacky. But basically if you took the last weeks run, the last birthday run, run 1489 from the back end of last year and bits of a couple of other runs which have all happened with living memory, there it was! Six kilometers of fairly typical hill trails with the odd bit of shiggy and a pretty steep descent to get us back onto the flat; seven checks, three of which the hare had to take a hand in breaking and five false trails of which only one had the effect of reversing the order which was unfortunate since all the FRB’s were at that time at the back of the pack!

So why did it take an hour and a half for the first runner to get home and why did it reduce Softcock to a quivering wreck, plucked from peril by the late arriving Knob Gobbling performing the sweeping job that the two hares so miserably failed between them to perform?

A good question. It certainly wasn’t a problem with length, because 6k is by no stretch of the imagination cruel nor unusual (and in case anyone doubts the measurement, the yellow box on the picture above has sides of 1.5k, i.e. a sum of 6k).

Perhaps it was excessively hilly? Hardly. The top point we reached was 231 meters from a starting altitude of 36 meters above sea level with a total ascent of 364 meters, and lest you think that the hills must have added substantially to the length, let me assure you that a quick application of Pythagorus’ theorem will confirm that the difference is less than 50 meters!

Perhaps the country was unusually difficult. Oh come on! apart from two brief essays into country which had been extensively secateured during setting to ensure that it did not constitute an uncomfortable experience for the hounds, the whole run was on trails!

Or maybe the checks were too difficult? Certainly the second, third and sixth checks between them must have added about 15 minutes to the run and perhaps the other four together may have added 10 minutes, but the F’s barely inconvenienced the front runners, although cumulatively the effect was to ensure that at the sixth check at least the whole pack excluding Softy and Knob Gobbling were together.

But whatever it was it was the hares’ fault and the faint praise they were accorded on the ice should serve as a warning to future hares: we’re getting on a bit, our joints and tendons are not an elastic commodity capable of soaking up punishment indefinitely.

Bleeeehhhhh! Bunch of wimps!

For the record, Ding Dang returned and Knob Gobbling subbed; Chao Ngor and Egghead got 500 run shirts and Peppered Pussy and Jump Shot were annointed as sinners for failing to return plates after gorging themselves. Sex Sprinter was punished for prospecting for paper in anticipation of an F and Egghead (again!) was reprimanded for nanny-haring having jumped to the conclusion that Rotten Johnny was about to break the 4th check and begun re-laying paper when the poor short sighted sod couldn’t find the paper under his feet! The hares were Egghead and Only a Yolk. Then it was On! On! to the Parlang to say a fond farewell to Kag as our Hash Bar host.

"Don't Become Happier Than Your Wife"

While The Online Scum usually concerns itself only with hashing matters, every once in a while a non-hashing story comes along that we feel is so potentially important to our readership that we feel compelled to publish it. Here is one yesterday from the New York Times.

Don't Become Happier Than Your Wife

If you are happier than your wife, you may be at greater risk of divorce.

That is the main takeaway from a new working paper looking at happiness and divorce rates in Australia. From the abstract:

Controlling for the level of life satisfaction of spouses, we find that a higher satisfaction gap, even in the first year of marriage, increases the likelihood of a future separation. We interpret this as the effect of comparisons of well-being between spouses, i.e. aversion to unequal sharing of well being inside couples. … [C]ouples are more likely to breakup when the difference in life satisfaction is unfavorable to the wife. The information available in the Australian survey reveals that divorces are indeed predominantly initiated by women, and importantly, by women who are unhappier than their husband.

This weeks runny stuff

As far more eloquently expressed below, the full moon run is tonight (Thursday).
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the new Hatyai road for about 8km. Do a u-turn and go back about 800m to the runsite at a no-name restaurant, about 50m in on the left. Run starts around 7 o'clock. Bring a handlight and some beer (although full moon beer will be on sale at 3 cans for 100 Baht) but not food which we should buy from the restaurant.

Songkhla H3 on Saturday is at the same run site as last Saturday. Details are:
SH3 run # 1494, January 30th, 4:00 p.m.
Hares: Only a Yolk and Egghead
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo Intersection take the new Yala road for 3.5k to the run site on the left.

There is no official Hatyai H3 run this weekend as we will be joining Union H3 for their 150th run party on Sunday. If you haven't already booked a ticket, see Sex Sprinter tonight at the full moon run or on Saturday. 150 Baht gets you a run, food and beer and who knows what else. The run is due to start at 3:00 p.m. and the run site is about 7k down Th. Poonakan from Wat Keow Kloy (Old Hatyai road 4.6k, left 8k, turn right) on the left, in one of the new Moobahns.

Finally there's a quiz nite at the Office Bar on Friday (29th January at 8'ish) when the shadowy figure of Teacher Mick will be taking on all comers. All proceeds go to the orphanage so come along and support this worthy cause (and you can support Stickyand Beaver as well as they stumble through the intellectual jungle or just get pissed and depraved as usual)
On! On!

Full Moon Run Tomorrow!

Rotten Johnny is brewing up a full moon run with a difference tomorrow, Thursday, Jan. 28. For one thing, it's on the side of the New Hatyai Road we hardly ever run on. For another, it's at a no-name restaurant, so bring beer instead of food. We have to keep drinking at least till Egghead and any other late-night working stiffs show up.


Misdirections: From Koh Yaw intersection take the New Hatyai Rd. about 8km. Do a u-turn and go back about 800m to runsite/restaurant, about 50m in on the left. Be there by 6:30 and we'll run around 7.

Another hill walk

Sorry for the deeply disturbing photo, but I wanted to get everyone's attention.

Following the unexpected success of our first hill walk, up Khao Luang a couple years ago, it looks like the stars may be finally aligning for another one. This time our plan is to hike the ridge between Phattalung/Songkhla and Satun. Easier walking and maybe better views. Tentative dates are April 14-16.

Most of you have heard about this by now, but if you haven't and you're interested, let us know.

So you thought Knob Gobling couldn't set a good run...

OK, so bits of it seemed vaguely familiar and the trail up was a bit iffy and there was a gratuitous descent and ascent of the hill, and it could have done with a couple more checks and a bit more paper; but all in all no one was complaining too much after Knob Gobling's virgin lay yesterday achieved with the aid of Only a Yolk, with technical assistance and a short run by ... enough! It was Knob Goblings first time at SH3 and the boy done good.
Notable events occurring were the big blow out suffered by the beer truck which sent Stick Insect off to the rescue, returning with half the pack and the wrong eskie; he left the one with the beer on the beer truck, a misdeed which under normal circumstances would probably have invoked the wrath of sole BTG Knackerwurst but for the fact that he is suffering from the after effects of an attack by Rotweiler, or should that be a rotweiler. Anyway, needless to say the Tiger brewery has laid off half its workforce until he is fully recovered.
Also returning yesterday after a five-year absence was Balls in the Air who brought along Ann, who is apparently some relation to Conebrain, as a new runner, the GM, back after a briefer absence, and much to everyone's relief, Hand Job scotching persistent rumours that Beaver had had another attack of Imtooyoungtosettledownyetitis.
Failing to return - on time at least, were Schmuckme Witherspoon, Tau Hu Yee and Phone Sex who managed to evade the ministrations of the sweeping hare and were headed for the Old Yala road when they realised they were off paper. Schukme etc. was iced for his transgession not least because he was carrying a mobile phone at the time (no sin in that!) but had the thing turned on to silent mode to avoid calls from the Klingon from Daeng's bar, so could not be contacted as the hares prepared to mount an expensive search and rescue operation. Derrrr!
City Tits finally got her mug for 950 runs and is now set to hit 1000 runs later this year, more or less at the time of our birthday. After Ours (600 runs) and R2D2 (150 runs) kept her company.
We'll be back at the same runsite this week to do the run which the technical assistant had prepared for last week, but, well, that's Thai women for you!

Runs this week

The SH3 details this week are:
Run # 1493, Saturday January 23rd 2010, 4:00 p.m.
Hares: Knob Gobling and Only a Yolk
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the new Yala road for 3.5k to the run site on the left.

HH3’s run on Sunday (24th January: 4:00 p.m.) is being set by Sex Printer and Toy Boy. The run site is at Ban Nai Lai: from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k; turn left for 8k then right into Thanon Poonakan and go anything between 5 and 8k until you see the hash sign on the left. Follow that road until you see another hash sign at the run site.
On! On!

What we did on our holidays

Free T's x 3

Just when the holidays were over and you thought it was safe to go back to the hash and not get another gaddam t-shirt, The Cronies™ are pleased to announce not one but THREE free t-shirt events in the next three months.

1. Hatyai Union Hash Run #150, Sunday, 31 January. The Union has shrunken and seems to be gradually re-uniting with the rest of us. B150 gets you food, beer, and, yes, we think, a t-shirt.

2. Songkhla Hash Run #1500, Saturday, 13 March. After exactly one and a half thousand runs, you'd think SH3 could do better than a crappy t-shirt celebrating Beavershot's 50th lay. Well, that's all you're getting. Plus some beer, probably. The good news: it's only B60.

3. Songkhla Hash Songkran Day Town Walk, Tuesday, 13 April. Songkran isn't a long weekend this year, so this will probably be just a stand-alone event. Beer, food, and, mais oui, a wet t-shirt, all for . . . well we don't know yet. But probably not too much.

All gone to look for America

Since this week's run is number 1492, the hares have offered a special prize for anyone who manages to discover America during the run.

The prize will be the right to occupy this valuable piece of real estate and thereafter to dominate the rest of the world and impose YOUR ideas on everybody else irrespective of the fact that the rest of the world may not actually agree with you.

The discoverer of America should not be put off by the fact that they may find America to be already occupied. The hares have conducted an extensive recce of the area and can assure the discoverer that the current occupants are either a bunch of mindless uncivilized savages or alternatively are a large herd of buffaloes (or both).

Have fun!