Two runs and an outstation

Imagine...

Craggy limestone outcrops, lush natural tropical forests, misty morning sunrises, palm leafed huts... Patience! That's not 'till the end of the month!

In the meantime, SH3 brings you...

Run # 1569, Saturday 2nd July 2011: 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Egghead

Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the Old Yala Road for 8k and turn right before Ban Dan School. Follow the road for 1.35k. Park by the side of the road and congregate at the rubber weighing station.

Sunday's HH3 run is keeping it's details close to its chest but likely hare is Nicheow and the location is likely to be about 5k down Poonakan on the left. Any update on that will be promulgated appropriately, or maybe we'll just post it here and send out more unsolicited e mails.

Now to those craggy tropical sunrises.

SH3 are organizing an outstation run to be held on the weekend of 30th/31st July. The location will be the Wang Wan Resort which is within spitting distance of Wang Sai Tong in Satun. The weekend will feature a run on Saturday, dinner, entertainment, free beer, more entertainment, more free beer, breakfast the next morning if you're man enough to handle it, followed by kayaking down the river, followed by lunch. The price including accommodation, food, beer, kayaking and all the rest will be 400 Baht for SH3 active runners with guests paying whatever the full cost turns out to be, which will be well under 1000 Baht. Kids will be at a lower price to be haggled about. Hash Cash will be going amongst the faithful this weekend with her clipboard in hand seeking your commitment and a token of your good faith, i.e. pay in advance!

It felt like a monster to me

The secret side of me, I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can't control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it

It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

Hawkfrost

So what is this, monster envy? OK so it wasn't cosmically huge, but it felt like a monster. There was that edgy feeling like standing on a high board and not quite knowing whether to jump or just quietly turn round and climb back down to the pool, particularly as we all flailed about in the shiggy at the first check. But once it got under way it could easily have gone on until it got dark - and in fact for Softy and Bravefart it did go on until dark as the pack's increasingly annoying inability to break checks and the disappearing puce paper took its toll on the back runners. And it was a surprise when it finished so quickly. No one seemed to expect the runsite to suddenly loom up out of nowhere but there weren't too many complaints that it did.

I, I feel like a monster! Yeah!

You call that a monster?!

Well yes, Softcock got it right: we used to tell people to fear the Monster. Now we tell them oh no, please don’t be alarmed, it’s all soft and gentle and fuzzy. Let’s face it: like us ourselves, the Monster ain’t quite what it used to be. But then after last weekend’s two runs, did you really want it to be?

Anyhow here it is, in all its 7km (!) glory. Total ascent was 520m, if you were silly enough to follow the paper on the two false trails and that final checkback.

Whatever you may have thought of the run, I submit that the runsite is a lovely place. Unfortunately there are suprisingly few ways to construct a decent run in and out of it, and this was pretty much the only obvious way (see the map – you really can’t do it much shorter). We should probably return some day. But not too soon

The monster returns

Remember this reptile? The last time you saw him his was gracing the butt end of your underpants and encouraging you to "Feel the monster within". Five years on he has an almost avuncular air about him; certainly nothing to be worried about.

And so it is with this weekend's annual nod and a wink in the direction of a ball breaker: nothing to worry the athletic cream of Songkhla, many of whom have this week been honing their stamina in Satun or piling their Steeds in Phattalung (or Trang; or somewhere in between.)

So the misdirections are:

SH3 run #1568 "the Midsummer Mini-Monster", 25th June 2011: 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Beavershot (whose birthday it is; hint, hint!)

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 10k and turn left at the Nam Noi traffic lights. Go 3.4k and turn right, then go 300 meters and turn right and follow the road for 2.2k to the top of the hill.

Sunday's HH3 run will be set by _______* and the run site is at_______* (* fill in your name and your chosen location here). But no doubt all will become clear by Saturday.

Yardo's crackup: The postscript

Click on this to see it big, and then look for the small pink figure bathing just below the dark rock near the bottom right . . . it's a not-so-small Scotsman.

So here's the tale of the adventure that followed Yardstick's unfortunate Evil Kneivel impersonation. (But first I must add a small correction to my respected colleague's post immediately below this one: the accident occurred not on the main North-South road but on the Phattalung-Trang road, about 500m before its highest point, i.e. the ridge that divides the two provinces. Those of you of a forensic bent are welcome to go up there and see the milestone, now broken and partly uprooted, that suffered the combined impact of Yardo's roo bar, the engine behind it, and the foot behind that.)

Anyhow, we took the victim to Piyarak Hospital in delightful downtown Phattalung, where the staff insisted on knowing his religion, apparently in the case of last rites. Being the sensitive, caring sorts that we are, we then simply carried on with the trip. Stick Insect had arranged accommodations at a resort at Ton Te Waterfall, which is on the west side of the Phattalung-Trang hills probably just a bit south of where we came out on the Khao Jet Yawd hillwalk. Apart from the fact that nobody was there and the place appeared to have closed up a year or two before, it proved quite satisfactory.

The main attraction here is the waterfall itself, which is fairly spectacular and includes perhaps the best natural swimming hole any of us had ever seen, right at the base of the falls. Three of our party (Stick, Bravefart, and me) carried on up the hill to almost 500m, where we found . . . uh, more hill. Anyhow, plenty of opportunity for hill trekking, and some nice rubber down at the bottom for possible hash runs. The resort has only 5 or 6 bungalows, but features a big grass lawn that would be ideal for tents. Anyhow, keep it in mind for a possible outstation run. I think all of us agreed that it's a kind of special place, really lovely and apparently undiscovered.

Going round the bend? Not Yardo!

Rumors of Yardo's decline in sanity have been firmly scotched this week as he proved decisively that he is not going round the bend. So determined was he to stick to the straight and narrow, that he failed to make the big bend on the main North-South Highway, somewhat short of Pattalung while astride the Steed ending up dropping the bike and gracefully drifting into a concrete pillar which caused his foot to be crushed beneath the Steed's crankcase. No news on the condition of the bike, but Yardo's foot now has more metal in it than your average Honda and he is languishing in room 904 at the Bangkok Hospital in Hatyai until at least Thursday. A deputation of (mostly Thai) hashers visited him last night and reported his condition to be "stable" which can only mean that they didn't smuggle in enough beer, or that he had been strapped to the bed to prevent any further loss of balance.

I guess he won't be running the monster on Saturday then!

We're all mad!

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Not much to be said about this weekend's hashing unless you are a psychiatrist in which case you would probably have a lot to say about masochists who having survived Yardo's 9.9k pre-monster on Saturday, then willingly set out on what was being billed as a fairly extreme A to B to C run on Sunday set by well known psychopaths, Sex Star and Sex Ao Ao, smarting for revenge after his inability to stick to the plot last week.

Looking at the profiles above, Yardo's run looks slightly the more extreme; but it lacked the sheer vertical grandeur of the Sex boys outing and although Yardo's run is measured as being slightly the longer, that is deceptive as all the (7!) F's and X's have been left in whereas Sunday's run is mostly the trail itself as the bearer of the GPS was not in any danger of finding or breaking any checks once the run got seriously underway. For the record, Sunday's run split at 4.0k with the B to C section measuring just under 5.3k and the total ascent was 479 meters. Yardo won't reveal what the total ascent was on Saturday so it must have been equally horrific.

But the good news is that next weekend's monster is going to seem like a walk in the park according to Beaver, and he should know as he has spent a week of his life recce'ing it. But hares have been know to lie or to be subject to fits of self deception. Those of a nervous disposition might want to consult their psychiatric advisers before next Saturday just to check that their sanity has not completely departed!

Yardo lays a big one

A hare's lament

The next two weeks' upcoming hares, Yardo and I, both had the same reaction to last Saturday's run . . . how are we going even come close to that? Then, as if to rub it in, Egghead raised the stakes another notch the very next day, setting a figure-8 run so subtle and devious that it completely hoodwinked the hyper-competitive Sex Ao Ao, leaving him alone and whimpering in the jungle. True poetic justice.

Yes, the problem is that Egghead is working on a level of his own these days. He's spent so much time out there in the rubber (maybe more than all our other hares combined) and has set and swept so many times that he can practically set a great run in his sleep. "Run of the year," someone commented on Saturday, in an almost bored tone, as if, well, what else did we expect? Believe me, it ain't easy for us ordinary mortal hares.

Anyhow this is all by way of saying 1) Egghead rules -- many hashes would be lucky to get a run the quality of our last one once a year, and we got two in a weekend. And 2) Yardo and I are stepping up to the challenge this Saturday and next, and you ought to be there!

Did someone forget the beer?

Tomorrow (Thursday 16th June) night's Full Moon run will take place from the Sai Kao Resort which can be reached either by taking the Old Yala road then going right at 16k then going about 5k (passing the big tree at 3.5k) when the resort will be on the right; OR , from an Easterly direction the resort is on the left about 4k beyond the Ban Tha Kham crossroads on the Nam Noi - Thung Wang road.

The hare is Sex Printer and in addition to all the usual delights, if you fancy staying over at the resort, rooms can be made available, but the hare would like to know so that he can sort it out in advance with the resort. Otherwise, the usual stuff applies: bring a handlight and some beer if you want, or buy FM special brew at 3 cans for 100 Baht and contributions of food never go amiss.

Saturday's SH3 run sees the long awaited return of Yardo as a hare. Details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1567; Saturday 18th June 2011: 4:30 p.m

Hare: Yardstick

Misdirections:

From Songkhla: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 16.3k and turn right (at Wat Kun Thong) for 2.7k then turn left just after the ceremonial arch and go along the track for 1.6km to the run site. Park alongside track.

From Hatyai: Turn right at Nam Noi turn off, go straight through Tha Kham intersection to the big tree in the middle of the road at Ban Sai Khao. Continue straight for 700m and turn right before the arch, then go along the track for 1.6km to the run site.

Finally, HH3's run this Sunday (June 19th, 4:something) is from down Poonakan way: From Songkhla take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left then go 8k and turn right at Wat Keow Kloy, then go about 5k. Turn left and look for a sign somewhere before you reach the railway! The hare is Nicheow.

Two pictures are worth two thousand words, but a few more might come in handy

Saturday...

Sunday...

(Click on the images to make them larger)

Haven't we been here before?

As advertised, both of last weekend's runs were from sites used in the living memory of all but the most alcohol addled brains. Saturday's run which in every sense of the word went in the opposite direction from Buk Toy and Sex Sprinter's from the same site, was a modest 6.5k all up and a good deal shorter for those who avoided the checks etc. by the simple expedient of sticking close to the hare (or just short cut up the valley; you know who you are!) But it was a pretty vertical experience with the top most check being set just below the 305 meters to which the run aspired, a check which remarkably all the front runners decided was going to send them DOWN, even after discovering the check-back in that direction. Have they learned nothing? What are hills there for? To go to the top, silly!

And there was something rather familiar about Sunday's HH3 run as well, although only two of the pack who attended the SH3 run from the same site a month ago were there to relive the soggy glory of the day when everyone else buggered off to Khao Men. Little did it profit them as Stick Insect a.k.a. Lady of the Lamp limped in someway behind the front runners and Gan Yao, alias Bigfoot having short cut up the valley on Saturday, short cut through the quarry on Sunday but still didn't avoid the second ascent of the pimple-sized hill. No one actually discerned that the run had been a figure-of-eight with the hare artfully rearranging the paper after the pack had completed the first ascent-descent, although Toy Boy realized he was headed for the out trail and assuming we couldn't be going that way went off in search of the trail elsewhere. The vital stats department reports a with-all-checks-and-falsies length of 7.6k, a maximum elevation of 124m and a total ascent of 200m. The hang-over department reports that we drank the beer truck dry which explains why Knackerwurst/I Want My Wife, who manfully struggled round the full 3 and a bit k of the short run, pissed off early. But a good time was had by all, lending further support to HH3's continuing renaissance the like of which SH3 can only dream of!

Comin' riight up!

Two runs from the egg factory this weekend, both from locations which we've visited in the recent past. First up is SH3, details of which are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run#1566, Saturday, June 11th, 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Egghead

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k and turn left then go 10.2k and turn left for 2.2k to the same run site we used 3 weeks ago!

On Sunday (June 12th) as a complete contrast the HH3 run will be from the run site SH3 used 5 weeks ago, when most people were in Khao Men Resort on the HH3 outstation run. But if you didn't make the SH3 run that day then Sunday's run will come as a complete surprise; and if you did make it... don't give away any secrets!

Details are:

From Songkhla: from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left at the Kuan Hin traffic lights. Go 8.5k and turn right then follow the bendy road for 1k to the run site on the left near the lake.

From Hatyai: Take the old Songkhla road to the Nam Noi traffic lights and turn right. Go 11k and turn left (into the road heading up Kao Ron). At the Y junction in 500m bear right (i.e. not towards Kao Ron) and follow the road for less than 1k to the run site on the right near the lake The hare is Kai Jeow.

Not your ordinary beaver

It was nine years ago this month, June 22, 2002 to be exact, that your correspondent celebrated his half-century by buying a parang and laying what, in retrospect, was a pretty crappy run. Its main feature was that it was good and long, taking advantage of the fact that it was the longest day of the year so there would be plenty of daylight for the stragglers.

Within a few years, the Beavershot Birthday Run, as it was originally called, had morphed into the Midsummer Monster, and at least some of them have been fairly monstrous. In fact the one just two years ago in 2009, a four-part epic set by Rotten, Last Lover, and Rickdickulous, still proved itself worthy of the name. It even contributed a new lexical feature to all future maps of Songkhla, the infamous Fat Belly Pass.

But in general our tastes seem to have moderated. Most of us no longer seek out prolonged pain and suffering (though we still sometimes get it, like a couple months ago on Khao Luang), and most recent Monsters have been pretty mild. You know, like the year we were invited to “feel the monster inside” Egghead’s underpants. Ewww!

So with the return of the mantle to Beavershot this year, what will it be? A delightful easy romp over hill and vale, or a miserable endless slog through the worst the big Hatyai hill can offer?

We’re not talking. But we can reveal that this year’s event will take place on Saturday, June 25^th, and will start from a rather unique runsite located at N07 01.713' E100 32.084'. No doubt our resident master of misdirection can and will give you more descriptive instructions when the time comes. All you need to know for now is that our theme is “In Search of the Wild Beaver: Exploring the Tall Pines and Deep Canyons”. Tired of the same old tame, domesticated beaver? Come take a run on the wild side!

Danish Vegemite outrage

No doubt our Antipodean members have been shocked and appalled by Denmark's recent banning of Vegemite. But now, courtesy of the BBC of all places, comes the inside story:

"C'mon, let's face it: Vegemite is a yeast infection in a jar. Remember, it started out as an unwanted by-product from the brewing industry. Like street violence and vomit. Still, the main reason that the Danes banned it is probably because it claims to be vitamin-fortified, which the Danes don't need because everybody know that the Danes fortify their bodies with the blood of Saxon children."

Dyslexia lures OK?

This weeks Sh3 run is from the village beyond Ban Chompoo before you get to the Angtong intersection (where the new Yala road hits the old Yala road). You know the one; there's a big school there and a mosque about 500 meters past it, and it's the place where Bung, the beer truck driver lives. It'll come back to me if I think about it long enough....

Anyway, the official directions are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1565, Saturday June 4th 2011; 4:30 p.m.

Hares: R2D2 and Sperminator

Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng Intersection take the old Yala road for 8k and turn right for about 2k. Park on the road at the run site.

A number of returnees expected this weekend, Yardo Beaver and Smegs among them, so the pack should be back up to full strength; but don't let that put you off!

Sunday's (June 5th, 4:19 p.m.) HH3 run is being set by Sex Star from somewhere near the Gamling reservoir. Best estimate on misdirections are to go down the Old Hatyai road for 4.7k, turn left for 8k then right for about 9k and look for a sign on the left before you get to the convention center with the longest name in the world. Alternatively go about 20k down the old Hatyai road and turn left about 1k after Tesco, up by the side of PSU, then go about 2k and look for the sign on the right.