Geezer pride + pussy prejudice

 

Tutti Frutti monopolizes the womenfolk.

With our GM and one or two others off at work, it was a small turnout on Saturday and a modest little run. Which, considering that the hare was Lat Duang, made for a pleasant change of pace. Fine quality running too, with a particularly nice gentle winding downhill trail from the top. 

Rock and Roll (or is it Hip Hop?) uses the German Beer Can Holder for her pre-run stretching.

Not that we really keep track or anything, but first back in exactly 50 minutes were Beaver and Egghead, coming in from slightly different directions but both on paper (admittedly, in the the case of the former, perhaps not entirely the correct paper), followed a pace or two behind by Sex Sprinter, who of course could have blown both of them away if he had wanted. Fortunately not everyone on this hash is shamelessly competitive. Just, it seems, the geezers. 

Sexy Girl and Sex Star return from setting the "short" run. 

 Sunday’s hash was a whole different kettle of fish. But then we expected that, given that the run was on the backside of Hatyai’s toughest hill and the hares were or at least included Sex Star, Sex Ao Ao, and Sexy Girl. These are the true serial offenders of your classic blood-and-guts Hatyai Hash run.

I'm sorry, I can't help myself. The guy is just ridiculously photogenic.

And don’t think that because Sexy Girl is, uh, a girl, she is any less brutal than her fanatic 0%-body-fat husband or the totally mutant Fuckrat. She’s the one famous for setting short runs longer than the long run, and judging by the amount of square paper I saw up there at the higher elevations, she didn’t exactly hold back this time either. As for the long run . . . let’s just say, seriously epic.  

Beavered and rebeavered

Runs 1602 (blue) and 1603 (yellow). The loop at the top of 1603 was the short run.

A small but dedicated band turned out for Part II of the Beaver Doubleheader. Stats almost exactly the same as last week: around 8km total, 260m total ascent, highest point about 160m. First runners back in 1:05 and all the rest, yes including a non-shortcutting Gan Yao, by 1:12.

Double Beaver, Part I

Here it is, yesterday's first installment of the Beaver Doubleheader. Total length about 8km, total ascent not quite 300m, and highest point just 156m. First runners (Stick Insect and Palm Job) back in 1:01 and almost all the rest by 1:05.

The wayback machine

Miss those wonderfully entertaining rehashes that used to appear every week? Well, good news: they're back! At least provided you set your mind back exactly ten years and click here. Starting from January 2002 you'll be able to relive Songkhla H3 life week by week just as it happened a decade ago. This week back then, for example, the long-lost Balls in the Air describes a memorable Groundhog Day run, followed next week by a run report by the legendary Fukawi. Other near-mythical figures taking scribe duty over the coming months include Kiwi Fruit and Angry Pussy, not to mention classic rehashes by still-familiar names like Egghead, Gan Yao, Stick Insect, and, er, me too. Give it a look -- you'll instantly feel years younger!

The 30th birthday run

Here it is (click to embiggen): just under 7km from the A site to the B site (the "medium" run), just over 3km from the B site to the C site ("short" run), and around 10km for the whole thing.

The first back -- the triumphant elite runners you see directly below this -- started arriving at the B site at 1:07. The last ones never did make it. They were rescued by Egghead and ended up in the dark another kilometer or so east on the Baan Daan school road, where I met them in the Stickmobile. They refused my offer of a ride so that they could take the beer truck instead. I was deeply hurt, but I do understand.

So yes . . . why ARE we doing this?

This handsome track (click to embiggenate) belongs to today's Hatyai H3 run, about which opinions were decidedly mixed. The FRBs like Sex Sprinter, Sex Ao Ao, and Sex Star all seemed to find it . . . sexy. But then they would. Those further behind, like Softcock, Gan Yao, and Off T were less enthusiastic. Egghead, I mean Khai Jiao, loved it, while The Lady of the Lamp hated it, but then that's exactly what they both often do, so they cancel each other out. For the hare, yet another a lesson in how a run that does interesting things geographically might not always bring joy to the running rabble. But maybe, like Hillwalk III, it'll seem better in retrospect.

Stats: 7.7km long, 510m total ascent, with the highest points just 199m (at the top of that first bit of shiggy) and 200m (just before the steep muddy descent, which was only 80m vertically, though it did feel like more). First runners back in 1:20, last ones in the final moments before total darkness, 2 hours+.

Beaverchuting

Rodent? That's such a cruel, hurtful word. "Amphibious mammal" is no doubt the term the previous post meant to use. And the "amphibious" part came in handy yesterday. By the time the hare got to the top of the hill it felt like there was more water up there than air. Fortunately things dried off by the time the rabble arrived, though it has to go down as the coldest hash of the year so far. The hot soup tasted better than the cold beer.

As promised, the length was exactly 6km, as calculated by the standard formula [FORMULA REDACTED BY OFFICIAL ORDER], where h and v are total horizontal and vertical distances in meters and e is Egghead's Constant, an unknown and unknowable number that in fact may be a variable. The lying GPS said 8.48km with a total ascent of 447 meters.

Strange times on Punnakan Rd.

Yesterday's run: about 8km total, including false trails; maximum elevation just 167m, total ascent around 250m. First in was Safe Sex in, I dunno, about 1:15? Bringing up the rear was Wet Spot, in well before dark despite arriving entirely on his own at the near-impossible last check and finding it still unbroken.

Apparently there was an anonymous complaint about "too much running". Given the nature of this event (a hash, er, run), we would have thought that this would be like saying there was "too much beer" in the beer truck or "too many bubbles" in your tub at the Pink Lady. But the hare in fact had considered that possibility, which was one reason for the number and difficulty of the checks.

The other reason of course was to confuse and lose Mongolian Sex Rat. This proved so successful that he didn't even show up. A moral victory, if not quite as satisfying as seeing him slink in from the wrong direction half an hour after everyone else.

You call that a monster?!

Well yes, Softcock got it right: we used to tell people to fear the Monster. Now we tell them oh no, please don’t be alarmed, it’s all soft and gentle and fuzzy. Let’s face it: like us ourselves, the Monster ain’t quite what it used to be. But then after last weekend’s two runs, did you really want it to be?

Anyhow here it is, in all its 7km (!) glory. Total ascent was 520m, if you were silly enough to follow the paper on the two false trails and that final checkback.

Whatever you may have thought of the run, I submit that the runsite is a lovely place. Unfortunately there are suprisingly few ways to construct a decent run in and out of it, and this was pretty much the only obvious way (see the map – you really can’t do it much shorter). We should probably return some day. But not too soon

Yardo lays a big one

Yardstick's modest little one

Courtesy of Yardo, here's his run from Saturday, SH3 #1557. Despite its small, misshapen appearance, the pack agreed that it did give satisfaction.

HH3 10 April 2011 Run #???

OK Yardo, here's mine. Let's see yours!

Assorted notes

Yesterday's run: Egghead wisely undersold it beforehand ("Just awful!") so we were all expecting a Dungbeetle-style swamp monster. In fact it was a delightful romp. Just long enough, just high enough (something like 150m total), and with just enough water to wash away our sins. Even some of the usual short runners did it, and everyone seemed to agree that it was a divine hour+ of hashing entertainment. Let that be a lesson to you fanatics (like that clown who did the 10km one last Saturday, and, well like Egghead, usually) who insist on setting runs from hell in the name of machismo. It was also a pleasure to see old returnees Wiwi and Buck. Maybe they'll come back more often now that they see how kind, gentle, warm, soft, and moist we've become?

New ice age: Speaking of kinder and gentler, the new icing policy has fully come into effect, now that Peppered Pussy, Roadrunner, and City Tits all seem to have finally gotten the message. No more water throwing at new runners and returning runners. (In fact one of yesterday's returnees, Yim Waan, even got to sit on a chair instead of the ice.) Sinners and hares are still subject to a good soaking. How about t-shirt recipients? Any policy decided yet?

Our tiny annual erection: Since this is now apparently the website of record for SH3, we should note that R2D2 was duly re-erected as GM. Several inactive posts were terminated (Whip, RA, etc.). Several other newly proposed positions (Asst. Beer Bitch, Event Master) remain empty, and no doubt will be handled on our usual ad hoc basis.

Blast from the past: Finally, Polepolisher sends us a 1991 article from the Bangkok Post on the Songkhla Hash, written by none other than ex-SH3 hasher Pub Stud. We won't bother reproducing the text, as it's the usual sort of bland hash PR for the unsuspecting public (please, nobody tell them about the satanic rituals we perform in the jungle). But it did include these two rather intriguing photos. Note the GM's remarkable hat -- do we need to revive that or what?! And note how nubile our harriettes were back then. We were going to do a "Then" and "Now" comparison but . . . ah well, never mind.

Run #1552

<-- Click here to make it big!

Appearances can be deceptive; but Pink Floyd is OK

Looks a gentle sort of run doesn't it? Pleasant run out to the hill then a steady climb up through the verdant rubber to the trail along the ridge, then a gentle climb up to the top (249m) before an equally undemanding trot down through more rubber and another gentle run home.

Think again! If our pussy runs have gained a reputation for being full on, no compromise, femcho hashing then today's run is going to do nothing to soften that image.

Not that the Hash ladies can claim all the credit, as last November's storm has wrought as much damage in this area as anywhere around Songkhla. That nice trail we ran in April as a gentle wind-down from our walk up Khao Jet Yod, has to all intents and purposes disappeared. And that gentle downhill? Forget it! It's a disaster area; strewn with fallen trees and apparently deserted by its owners in the face of the sheer impossibility of getting up the hill.

But all credit to our five hairiettes, After Ours, Crackwurst, Only a Yolk, Meals on Wheels and Temporary Relief for not giving up in the face of an over-optimistic GPS track, and finding a way through in 4 hours and 52 minutes to set a run which even though it was only a little over 6k as the lame crow flies took the front runners a cool 1 hour 40 minutes, and had the final three hounds refusing a lift back to the run site on 2 hours and insisting on running the final 500 meters home.

Thanks also to Bi Anal for the post-run fireworks display, but greater thanks to all those who then spent the next hour or more trying to find the last remnants of the SH3 dog pack who bolted in fear after the fire crackers were set off. Pink Floyd already spooked by some earlier fireworks, was the last hound to be located by which time most of the Hash had departed for better things. But Buk Toy, Gan Yao and Softcock stayed on to conduct mobile recces and Kii Leum discovered a suitable substitute on his motorbike but couldn't persuade the mutt to sit on his petrol tank. After Hours ferried Meals on Wheels and Only a Yolk out to the eventual point where Pink Floyd surfaced and Ram it in, Tuttee Fruity and Temporary Relief, who with M.o.W's, had earlier recaptured Harram, hung around just in case Pink Floyd plucked up the courage to come back to the run site.

Future would be pyromaniacs please note: These days we are almost as much a dog hash as a human hash and dogs do not like fireworks. Wanna let off some fireworks? Do it at home and put the fear of God into your own dogs!

Run #1543: The full beavershot

Total length, including false trails and checkbacks: 8.8km
Total ascent: 502m
Click to embiggen!

Yeah well....

It just goes to show. No blog post, misdirectional e mail only sent out at 6:00 p.m. on Saturday morning, but we have our biggest non-Malaysian inflated turnout in months including the return of several much missed harriets... well Japong and Useless Whitney anyway.

And what a run they had.. or didn't have as the case maybe. As the smiling faces of the slightly reduced pack (the rest of them had mysteriously eloped with Only a Yolk for the "medium run") as they almost made it to the top of the second hill show, everybody enjoyed it... well almost everybody; Stick Insect didn't 'cos he'd got a swollen foot and couldn't run... and there were bits of it that those who did, didn't much enjoy 'cos there was a weird loop in the middle where the paper went all freaky which chief hare Only a Yolk put down to Roadrunner talking too much. But we all got our money's worth: 1 hour 45 for 60 Baht. Sounds like a good deal to me but then I was a technical advisor so I'm biased. OK I was a hare; but I blame it on Yardo's GPS which actually behaved impeccably for the n^th week in a row. In fact it has been such a frequent hare this year that it's about time we named it!


Anyway, here's the graphic that shows where we went, or didn't as the freaky loop has been edited a bit to show where we should have gone if we hadn't gone where we did, if you see what I mean (am I beginning to sound confused?)



Anyway, Yardo's trusty implement recorded this at about 8k which with the extra stuff we did because Roadrunner talks too much (apparently!) probably means we did about 10k all told.

Does this count as a write-up?

HH3 Run #49?, 8 Aug.

When Gods walked the earth a.k.a. Run 1521

It's true, we kept hearing descriptions like "divine", "immaculate", and "heavenly". Even if they were all from the hare.

[Click to make it BIG!]

Run #1514

Here it is in semi-3D. The short run was the loop on the left. The lower righthand corner was notably shortcut by Nosin (we expect that), Only a Yolk (poor show), and Egghead (utterly shocking).

Special thanks to Knob Goblin for telling the girls that Temporary's excellent lamb stew was actually dog. This assured that there were seconds left for those of us who knew better. (Of course it might really have been dog . . . ?)