A day at the seaside

In view of all the lovely weather we're having, our thoughtful hares have decreed that this week's SH3 run will involve a trip to the beach. Details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1556, Saturday 2nd April, 2011

Hares: R2D2 and Kii Leum

Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng (Sam Rong) intersection head back towards Songkhla then at the Kao Saeng traffic lights, turn right towards the beach, past the market. At the beach, turn right into Kao Saeng village and follow the road for 500 meters then turn left and go 100 meters to the run site on the football pitch next to the beach.

Sunday's HH3 run is from about 11.5 k down the old Hatyai road (about 1.5k past the Nam Noi traffic lights just before the SME building) on the left hand side. The hares are Sex Star and Sex Au Au. The fun begins as soon after 4:00 p.m. as it takes for Off T to arrive.

Songkhla: 76th of 77

ABAC Poll: Thailand´s happiest people live in Suphan Buri

BANGKOK, 21 March 2011 (NNT) – Suphan Buri is found to be the province that people feel the happiest to live in while the paradise island of Phuket ends the chart, according to a recent survey by the Assumption University Research Center (ABAC Poll).

The poll’s Academic Network for Community Happiness Observation and Research (ANCHOR) conducted the survey with residents in all 77 provinces across the country from February to March 2011. They were asked which province they feel the most happy to live in.

The central province of Suphan Buri has the highest score of 7.83 points out of the full score of 10, followed by the central province of Uttaradit, the southern province of Phang-Nga, the central provinces of Sukhothai and Phetchabun with 7.66, 7.56, 7.50 and 7.44 points respectively.

The sixth to the tenth on the chart are the southern province of Satun, the northeastern province of Buri Ram, the central province of Phitsanulok, the eastern province of Sa Kaeo and the northern province of Phayao.

The last five provinces on the chart are Samut Songkhram, Krabi, Saraburi, Songkhla and Phuket with the score of 6.45, 6.41, 6.40, 6.32 and 5.64 points respectively.

Could it be Bigfoot?

Spotted this week among the leafy rubber behind Kao Ko Hong; is it a bird? Is it a dinosaur? Is it Big Foot?

Yes, Gan Yao's Avatar has been active this week in its native Hatyai, so we're off on our travel's on Saturday down Poonakan Road to the football field where Gan Yao will emerge from his schizophrenic torment to set the SH3 run, details of which are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run # 1555, Saturday, 26 March 2011.

Hare: Gan Yao

Misdirections (rendered in standard SH3 notation): From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k. Turn right (at Wat Keow Kloy) into Poonakan Road and go 4k to the run site on the left.

Sunday's HH3 run is in the same general area, but slightly closer to Wat Keow Kloy (i.e. From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k and turn left for 8k. Turn right (at Wat Keow Kloy) into Poonakan Road and go about 1.5k to the run site on the left). Look for a sign to divine the precise location of the run site which hare Nichoaw will establish after his recce which will take place 5 minutes before he sets the run!

Birthday/full moon run pix

Sometimes a potato is just a potato

3 in 1

No shortage of runs this weekend with Songkhla, Hatyai and Hatyai Full Moon H3's all running within a period of just over 24 hours and the true diehards camping out between runs at the run site, which is at the top of the hill above Prem's Place.

SH3 details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1554, Saturday March 19, 2011: 4:30 p.m.

Hares: Gaseous Clay Sex Sprinter and Buk Toy

Misdirections. From the Ko Yo intersection take the new Yala road for 800 meters and turn left. Follow the road up the hill and beyond Prem's Place for about 2 km and look for signs to the run site.

The full moon run will follow the SH3 circle and will be from the same run site and will be set by the same hares. It will be followed by a BBQ and everyone intending to stay on should contribute some food. Some beer wouldn't go amiss either as the SH3 beer truck will be departing at the termination of the circle and although there will be some free beer contributed by the hares, all of whom are celebrating birthdays this week, it is not intended to sell beer during the remainder of the evening. Don't forget your hand-light, and if you are intending to stay over night some form of camping gear would be advisable.

Sunday's HH3 run will start at it's usual time of .... and will be from the same run site, or as close to it as is practical bearing in mind that the whole hill will by then be strewn with paper from the two runs the day before! The identity of the hares is a closely guarded secret known only to themselves.

Memories of Sadao

An exquisite work of art adorning one of the guest rooms at U House, a favorite lodging place of the hashing elite. We believe that this was inspired by a piece by Gustav Klimpt, the great Austrian painter . . . but for heaven's sake, what is that huge red thing?

Well, the 8th anniversary of Sadao Hash #1 came and went earlier this month without notice. Will we ever run there again? Maybe not unless SH3 or HH3 organize their own event, which somehow doesn't feel too likely. Anyhow, a couple memories from the archives. Ah Dannok . . . we knew you well.

Looking for the perfect souvenir? It's as easy as swiping anything you like from the guest rooms at the U House. The room door is a bit pricey at B10,000, never mind a little hard to transport. But how about a toilet lid for just B1000, or the whole toilet for a bargain B2500?

The hare speaks

Thank you! Thank you! Enough faint praise.

An albeit reluctant Englishman should know better than to trust the weather, but it really did seem dry enough to use this run-site again, set amidst rolling hills peaking at ooooh, 70 meters and a flood plain averaging 7 meters above sea level. And even after rain stopped recce on Tuesday the decision still seemed like a good one on Wednesday when the whole Egg clan, brat, mutts an' all had a pleasant six-and-a-half klick walk culminating in the decision to cut short the intended route and just head back to the run site through the village just about at the point in the graphic above where the little blue pin bearing the legend F6 appears.

But enter Pluvius, the God of Rain who in his infinite wisdom decreed a return to the rainy season on Friday night, rendering the whole area decidedly soggy and in particular dumping a 2 meter deep klong, just beyond the point in the graphic above where the little blue pin bearing the legend F6 appears, necessitating a reversion back to the original plan, crossing the klong via the road bridge after some knee deep wading through the flood waters.

Fun? You mean you enjoy getting wet? well why didn't you say so before?

Not Pluvius, and a wet mutt

For the record, the adventurous runner would have clocked about 7.9k and a total ascent of 144 meters, both quite modest by our recent standards and likely to be eclipsed by next Saturday's joint SH3/HFMH3 runs, although Sundays HH3 hare has been officially requested to set a 'comfortable' run to follow up on Sunday.

Yeah, right!

Assorted notes

Yesterday's run: Egghead wisely undersold it beforehand ("Just awful!") so we were all expecting a Dungbeetle-style swamp monster. In fact it was a delightful romp. Just long enough, just high enough (something like 150m total), and with just enough water to wash away our sins. Even some of the usual short runners did it, and everyone seemed to agree that it was a divine hour+ of hashing entertainment. Let that be a lesson to you fanatics (like that clown who did the 10km one last Saturday, and, well like Egghead, usually) who insist on setting runs from hell in the name of machismo. It was also a pleasure to see old returnees Wiwi and Buck. Maybe they'll come back more often now that they see how kind, gentle, warm, soft, and moist we've become?

New ice age: Speaking of kinder and gentler, the new icing policy has fully come into effect, now that Peppered Pussy, Roadrunner, and City Tits all seem to have finally gotten the message. No more water throwing at new runners and returning runners. (In fact one of yesterday's returnees, Yim Waan, even got to sit on a chair instead of the ice.) Sinners and hares are still subject to a good soaking. How about t-shirt recipients? Any policy decided yet?

Our tiny annual erection: Since this is now apparently the website of record for SH3, we should note that R2D2 was duly re-erected as GM. Several inactive posts were terminated (Whip, RA, etc.). Several other newly proposed positions (Asst. Beer Bitch, Event Master) remain empty, and no doubt will be handled on our usual ad hoc basis.

Blast from the past: Finally, Polepolisher sends us a 1991 article from the Bangkok Post on the Songkhla Hash, written by none other than ex-SH3 hasher Pub Stud. We won't bother reproducing the text, as it's the usual sort of bland hash PR for the unsuspecting public (please, nobody tell them about the satanic rituals we perform in the jungle). But it did include these two rather intriguing photos. Note the GM's remarkable hat -- do we need to revive that or what?! And note how nubile our harriettes were back then. We were going to do a "Then" and "Now" comparison but . . . ah well, never mind.

Beating the booze bus

As we were biking home late last night on twin Finos (Temporary on one, me and Handjob on the other), there directly in front of us on the beach road loomed the bright lights of a police checkpoint. We'd all had more than a few and the booze bag results wouldn't have been pretty. Fortunately it turned out to be no more than what the Thais call "volunteers" -- wannabe cops who couldn't care less about people like us -- but just for reference, in case it's the real thing next time, here's what you're supposed to do. (Everyone made fun of this guy, but notice one thing: it worked.)

A Kinder, gentler hash

Well, on the evidence of last weekend probably not, although the scars are healing and the bruises a little less livid.

But this weekend....

Yes, this Saturday there will be a kinder and gentler run, featuring wide snag-free trails with no nasty jagged rocks which rip your flesh and certainly no longer than an hour. That's the plan anyway. The reality? You'll have to come along to find out! Details are:

SH3 run # 1553; Saturday March 12 2011: 4:30 p.m.

Hares: Egghead, Only a Yolk, Peppered Pussy and four-legged friends.

Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng Intersection take the old Yala road for 14k. Turn left for 2.4k and right for 200 meters to the run site on the left.

Sunday's HH3 details are limited to the identity of the hare (Scud) but more will no doubt be announced at Saturday's run.

Run #1552

<-- Click here to make it big!

A rosy-cheeked hash

Putting a new meaning into "hand job": An accomplice skillfully prepares the 4,000 paper squares (500 sheets x 8 pieces each) for tomorrow's run. Note the charming light lilac color, so fitting for a perfect spring day.

We owe a debt of gratitude to Egghead, formerly Eggafi, coming out of the closet with his Every Woman's Encyclopedia, and showing us just how far we have strayed from the original values of this activity we practice every Saturday.

I know that I'm personally taking it to heart, and I hope you will see the results tomorrow. No distant, macho runsite like Punnakan Road. While I couldn't find any hedges or fences as Every Woman recommends, there are a number of ditches. The hills are moderate in number and height. The length -- well, a gentleman doesn't speak of such things, but suffice to say that it should well satisfy all appetites.

Hand Job has been provided with a recipe for scones, which I trust will take the place of the usual som tam, and we're hoping that the Beer Bitch can be persuaded to serve tea instead. We have a few light hymns ready to sing after the run, perhaps under the direction of Mr. Stick Insect. We eagerly hope for the long-awaited demonstration of Morris Dancing by Mr. Egghead. And, as dusk falls, we look forward to a magic lantern show by Mr. Ganyao, late of Singapura, on the subject of his recent journey to China. Having been some days in preparation, a splendid time is guaranteed for all.

A cure for your spindly muscles, shrunken brain, enlarged heart, shriveled gonads and patchy, graying fur

From today's New York Times:

. . . the mice that Dr. Tarnopolsky and his colleagues used lacked the primary mitochondrial repair mechanism, so they developed malfunctioning mitochondria early in their lives, as early as 3 months of age, the human equivalent of age 20. By the time they reached 8 months, or their early 60s in human terms, the animals were extremely frail and decrepit, with spindly muscles, shrunken brains, enlarged hearts, shriveled gonads and patchy, graying fur. Listless, they barely moved around their cages. All were dead before reaching a year of age.

Except the mice that exercised.

Half of the mice were allowed to run on a wheel for 45 minutes three times a week, beginning at 3 months. These rodent runners were required to maintain a fairly brisk pace, Dr. Tarnopolsky said: “It was about like a person running a 50- or 55-minute 10K.” The mice continued this regimen for five months.

At 8 months, when their sedentary lab mates were bald, frail and dying, the running rats remained youthful. They had full pelts of dark fur, no salt-and-pepper shadings. They also had maintained almost all of their muscle mass and brain volume. Their gonads were normal, as were their hearts. They could balance on narrow rods, the showoffs.

But perhaps most remarkable, although they still harbored the mutation that should have affected mitochondrial repair, they had more mitochondria over all and far fewer with mutations than the sedentary mice had. At 1 year, none of the exercising mice had died of natural causes.

A little bit of history

So let’s get this straight: Hashing started in Kuala Lumpur in 1938 and was the brainchild of a couple of Brits who had nothing better to do than to run around the Malayan jungle in their spare time.

Wrong! Below is an extract from Every Woman’s Encyclopedia, published in London between 1910 and 1912 which would seem to place the origins of our dearly beloved pastime firmly in the genteel oeuvre of the Edwardian country house.

Men only hashing? Quote Girls, as well as boys, of all ages, may well take part in the fun Unquote.

And for Grand Master read Grand Mistress: Quote the hostess decides really well unquote.

Pussie runs? Quote For a bigger party there should, be two hares - a boy and a girl unquote.

Eat your heart out Mother Hash!

So I’m off to buy a pair of knickerbockers and some boracic ointment. Who’s bringing the scones and buns?

Children: A Half-Holiday Paper-Chase

By Gladys Beattie Crozier

How to Arrange a Delightful Amusement for an Early Spring afternoon - The Hare - Laying the Trail - How the Children Should be Dressed - The "Hunt" Tea - Paper-chases on Ponies or Donkeys

There is no more delightful half-holiday entertainment for an early spring afternoon than a good paper-chase.

Girls, as well as boys, of all ages, may well take part in the fun, for, clad in knitted caps and jerseys, short kilted skirts worn over blue serge knickerbockers, and the stoutest of country boots or shoes, they can come to no harm; and the general rough and tumble of a cross-country scramble over hedges and ditches, out in the sunshine and fresh air, will do them all the good in the world after a week spent, more or less, indoors over lesson books and piano practising.

The Hunted Hare

Invitations to take part in a paper-chase should be sent out a fortnight beforehand, and any number of children, from eight or ten up to five-and-twenty, may be invited.

The meet should take place on the lawn not later than 2.30, and when everyone has assembled the hostess decides really well. The paper to scatter as "scent" is in a bag slung from his shoulder which of the guests shall take the part of hare, and which that of the hounds.

For a small party only one hare will be needed, and, as in this case, a boy - usually the young son of the house, who will presumably be acquainted with the general lie of the land within a two or three mile radius of the house - is as a rule, chosen. For a bigger party there should, be two hares - a boy and a girl.

The Meet

In order to lend still further excitement and a greater air of reality to the chase, one of the hounds - generally the eldest boy of the party - is armed with a good loudly cracking whip, to act as "whipper-in"; while one of the smaller boys is appointed "huntsman," and provided with a horn.

The hares are each provided with a small knapsack - or, failing this, a linen bag or pillow-case, made with string by which it can be slung over the hare's shoulders, will answer every purpose - well filled with fragments of torn-up newspaper with which to lay the trail.

When all is ready for the start the hostess produces a watch, and at a given signal off in pursuit, ascertaining whither he has gone by the paper trail he must leave behind him, tears the hare out of the garden and away, no one knows whither, but scattering a faint but clearly visible trail of white paper behind him as he runs.

The hare starts. For a small party one hare is sufficient, who should be someone knowing the country

The hounds wait breathlessly during the five or ten minutes "start" which custom decrees must always be given to the hare, and then, as the second signal is given, away they go to find the trail, perhaps crossing the road and plunging into a small copse just on the other side.

Here the trail will probably wind in and out amongst the bushes and trees, and here the huntsman's horn will prove very useful, when once the spoor is found, in keeping the hounds together.

The Kill

The hare, on leaving the copse, has evidently sped up the hill behind it and over the hurdle fence, which, being much entwined with brambles, gives the feminine members of the pack a good deal of trouble to negotiate.

The hounds allow the hare some minutes' start, and then stream

At last they are all over and hot on the track of the hare, across a ploughed field, and over the ditch at the bottom which skirts it, and down into a long, winding country lane.

Soon a couple of miles have been covered, and the smaller members of the pack have fallen far behind, and those in the front can tell by the direction of the trail that the hare has headed for home. Now the track goes into a thick wood, and the scent is lost for some minutes, when it is discovered that the hare has run in a circle - thus losing time, and running a very sporting chance of being overtaken - and that the true track comes back again to within a few yards from where it entered the wood, and skirts along the edge of it for half a mile before crossing a wide ditch and two high fences, and dropping down into the road within half a mile from home.

Two hares putting the hounds on a false trail by going different ways for a time. For a large party two hares can be chosen

A wild tooting of the horn, and shouts and cheers from what remains of the pack, announces the fact that the hare has been actually sighted tearing along a few hundred yards ahead, and much hampered by the necessity for diving into his bag and scattering paper as he goes. There is not a spurt left in him after a nearly four-mile run, but the hounds are rather fresher, and he is finally caught after a stout resistance - in which the almost empty bag flies about the ears of the hounds in most lively fashion - and is led in triumph into the gate of home. The wise hostess will have asked her guests to bring slippers and stockings to change into directly on their return, and after a general scrubbing and brushing and anointing of scratches with boracic ointment, a party of brilliantly rosy-cheeked young people troop downstairs for tea, spread like a hunt breakfast, in the dining room.

The Hunt Tea

Plenty of hot scones and buns, honey, jam, thick bread -and-butter, and plain, substantial cake will be found the most appreciated fare, for children who have come from a distance will have had a very early luncheon; and hot milk, tea, and coffee will also be in great demand.

Red table decorations may be arranged, and plenty of red crackers; and if small calendars can be painted with hares and hounds' heads, or horns and whips, and placed before each child’s plate, to be taken home as mementos of the occasion, they will give a delightful finishing touch to the proceedings.

Hounds negotiating a difficult hurdle and bramble fence in full cry after the hare

A Mounted Chase

In a neighbourhood where most of the boys or girls possess some sort of animal to ride - be it only a donkey - a pony and donkey paper-chase makes a delightful variation from the more ordinary hare and hounds played on foot.

In this case it is usual to choose the two hares beforehand, one of them being a grown-up person - either a trusty coachman or groom, or the father of one of the children who are to take part in the chase.

Armed with huge wallets of torn-up paper, they ride round the surrounding country the day before, choosing a course which will be exciting without being dangerous, and laying a preliminary trail of paper, because for a pony paper-chase it is necessary to lay it much in thicker than for an ordinary chase on foot, in order that it may be easily seen whilst riding at a sharp trot or canter, and it would be impossible to carry enough paper on the day of the chase; and also the exact course previously mapped out might be forgotten in the excitement of the moment, and more difficult jumps taken by the hare than those arranged.

The chosen course - which should be six or eight miles long - should include the jumping of one or two small ditches and the fording, if possible, of some shallow, pebbled stream; and it might wind in and out of a wood for a part of the way, in order to make it thoroughly interesting and exciting for the bigger boys and girls.

The children might all be asked to come to a ' hunt breakfast " - at 1 o'clock - to take the place of lunch, and the start should be timed for not later than 2.30. The hares are started, and the general proceedings are conducted exactly as for a paper-chase on foot, with this advantage, that, the course having been secretly mapped out beforehand, it is possible for the hares to give a hint to the hostess as to some point of vantage from which, if she and one or two chosen friends drive or motor there directly after the start, they will be able to see the entire party of hares and hounds in full cry crossing a road and skirting round a field, and then, speeding back, be in time to see the finish of the chase, the proceedings, as before, winding up with a merry hunting tea.

The Scum scoops Beaver's run

Your scintillating Scum brings you exclusive pictures of Saturday's up-coming run secretly downloaded from the Beaver GPS by an anonymous accomplice smarting under the humiliation of Beaver's failure to defend her from the accusation of having a big bum.

The Scum can exclusively reveal that the run is NOT from anywhere near Punnakan Road as previously advertised but will be from the car park of the Aw Baw Taw at Tungyai. Details are:

SH3 run #1552, Saturday 5th March. 4:30 p.m.

Hares: Beavershot and an anonymous accomplice

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 10k and turn left at the Nam Noi traffic lights for 3.5k, then right for about 500 meters to the run site on the left.

An anonymous accomplice without

a big bum helps Beaver to lay the trail

Sunday's (6th March) HH3 run can be reached by a not dissimilar route:

From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 10k and turn left at the Nam Noi traffic lights for 1.5k to the run site on the right. The hares are Sex Printer and Toy Boy and the run will start when you get there which should be around 4:15 p.m.