When Gods walked the earth a.k.a. Run 1521

It's true, we kept hearing descriptions like "divine", "immaculate", and "heavenly". Even if they were all from the hare.

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Achtung! Achtung!

Cast your mind back to February this year. Just another Saturday afternoon; just another SH3 run. Well let's be more precise: it was a Yardstick/Tutti Fruity run from another "brand new run site", this one way down the 4.7k turn off the old Hatyai road almost as far as Wat Nerm Pichit, then about 4k left into the bush. For those whose memories are tripped by such trivia, the run number was 1498 and, oh yes, just before the run we had an erection which resulted in R2D2 being elevated to the GM-ship. Were you there? Not sure? Well maybe this will help: a list of the attendees, who were:

NOSIN, CITY TITS, PALM JOB,AFTER OURS, SELF PUMPER, STICK INSECT, ROADRUNNER, R2D2, GASEOUS CLAY, YARDSTICK, BUK TOY, PIG PORKER, CHAO NGOR, KNACKERWURST, CRACKWURST, SUPER PIG, BRAVE FART, RAM IT IN, GAN YAO, EGGHEAD, ONLY A YOLK, TUTEE FRUITY, CHICKEN KILLER, PEPPERED PUSSY, WILDFLOWER, PAK MA, LAST LOVER, SOFTCOCK, FLOWERPOT MAN, DOG NUMBER 6, SEX SPRINTER, BEER TRUCK DRIVER 111, TEMPORARY RELIEF, TAU HU YEE, PHONE SEX, SOFTDOG, HOI YAI, ILLEGAL BEAGLE, KOREAN BBQ, SCHMUCKME WITHERSPOON, Hans and Sam (from the Parlang.

So we've narrowed down the suspects and logically since the 'crime' involves a book, we can probably eliminate the Thai runners (as it didn't have many pictures), the dogs and also the victim, which leaves us with this list of possibles:

STICK INSECT, R2D2, YARDSTICK, BRAVE FART, GAN YAO, EGGHEAD, TUTEE FRUITY, LAST LOVER, SOFTCOCK, FLOWERPOT MAN, SCHMUCKME WITHERSPOON, Hans and Sam (from the Parlang).

So for those 13: Achtung! Achtung!

Some time during the afternoon, Gan Yao returned two books to Knackerwurst. One was "The Boat" which was immediately lent to Schmuckme Witherspoon, who despite managing to leave it in the beer truck on the way home, retrieved it, read it and returned it to Knackerwurst a couple of weeks later. The other book was:

Inferno: The Devastation of Hamburg, 1943.Lowe, Keith (2007: Viking Press. ISBN 0-670-91557-2)

This was also lent by Knackerwurst to one of the 13 possibles above, who, as far as is know still retains it, as they have never returned it to Knackerwurst.

If you borrowed Knackerwurst's book could you please return it to him as soon as possible or at least let him know that you have it and will get it back to him as soon as possible. Otherwise.... remember the Reichstag? Poland? Czekoslovakia? The Sudetanland? Anne Franck? You could be next!

Beyond your imagination

Imagine a brand new runsite surrounded by a wealth of exciting new running country. Now imagine climbing into the hills to be presented with stunning views of rugged coastline over an azure sea. Imagine returning to the runsite to find free-flowing Taittinger, served from silver ice buckets. And then you notice a bevy of Brazilian bikini babes, ready to wipe you down with a soggy rag the moment you beckon them.

Sound like pure fantasy? Of course it is! Except for the new runsite part, it's going to be the usual grubby affair of blood, sweat, and beers. In your heart, you know that's all you deserve.

Songkhla Hash House Harriers Run #1521
Saturday, 31 July, 2010

Hares: Beavershot and Handjob

Misdirections: From Koh Yaw intersection take the Old Hatyai Rd. 4.7km. Turn left and go 8km to Wat Khao Kloi. Turn right on Punnakan Rd. and go 5km, then turn left and go 1km to the runsite on the right.

Day of Shame

OK, so we thought Egghead was just joking when asked about the short runners during Saturday's hash and he replied, "I left them vomiting in the jungle!"

And as stand-in GM, I am ashamed to say that afterwards I had a role in putting the three human and one canine hurlers on the ice. They were an easy target, and we all assumed that they were merely weak and womanly.

But now the truth has come out.

Handjob, who has withstood countless awful bus rides across the worst roads in Isaan with nary a cookie tossed, reported that the experience -- blindfolded in the back of Egg's throbbing blue Vigo as it careened up the washboard dirt road over the ridge -- was "like a trip to hell". She says she came within the last digit of Calling Ruth on the Big White Phone.

Further investigation revealed that the experience was equally traumatic for everyone else as well. Even normally stoic Tutti Frutti indicated that he too had come within a hair's breadth of blowing chunks. I mean, have you ever heard of an Australian chundering without the assistance of beer?

Mind you, the run was excellent, and none of the long runners had any complaints. But if Egghead thinks that the way to bolster our dwindling numbers is to subject the short runners to punishment so cruel and unusual that Dick Cheney would blush, what's next? Waterboarding?

As a memento I suggest we all chip in and buy him this attractive Abu Ghraib Coffee Table.

Farewell Deros

The Online Scum regrets to announce the termination of our long-running ad for the Lost Deros Bar, due to the fact that it hasn't opened in months. The barmaids were ugly and the place was a bit short on seating, but the prices were unbeatable and the location offered a perfect view of the Dark Side girls arriving for the evening. One hasher who must remain anonymous* even acquired a girlfriend from the passing parade, but that's another story for another time.

*Dungbeetle

Cut down on meat to lose weight

Don't want to say I told you so, but this is from the BBC so it MUST be true!

Eating less meat may be the key to keeping a healthy weight, say researchers.

A European study of almost 400,000 adults found that eating meat was linked with weight gain, even in people taking in the same number of calories. The strongest association was found with processed meat, such as sausages and ham, the Imperial College London team reported. It suggests that high-protein diets may not help slimmers in the long run.

The findings, published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, also support public health messages advocating cutting down on the amount of meat we eat, the researchers said.

The study looked at data from adults taking part in a large project looking at the link between diet and cancer. Participants from 10 European countries, including the UK, were weighed and measured at the start and then asked to report their weight five years later. They also filled in a detailed food questionnaire.

Weight gain

Overall, the researchers found that meat consumption was associated with weight gain in both men and women. More detailed analyses showed that the link was still significant after taking into account overall calorie intake, physical activity and other factors which may have skewed the results.

The team calculated that in people who ate the same number of calories, an extra 250g of meat a day - equal to a small steak - led to an additional weight gain of 2kg (5lbs) over five years. It counters the theory that diets with high amounts of protein and low amounts of carbohydrate promote weight loss.

Although it is not clear why meat would lead to weight gain in people eating the same number of calories, one theory is that energy-dense foods like meat alter how the body regulates appetite control. But there could also be another lifestyle or dietary explanation for the link that was not accounted for by the study. Study leader Dr Anne-Claire Vergnaud said:

"I would recommend to people to control their consumption of meat to maintain a healthy weight and good health in general during life." But she added: "Decreasing the amount of meat alone would not be an adequate weight loss strategy." Sian Porter, a dietician and spokeswoman for the British Dietetic Association, said there were caveats in the study, including the fact that at the end-weight was self-reported. But she said it was an interesting finding.

"We eat more meat than we need. What I say to my patients is to think about variety - so have an egg for breakfast instead of bacon, cheese for lunch instead of ham and fish for the evening meal.

She advised people to eat lots of lentils and pulse, whole-grains, fruit and veg. and oily fish as well as meat.

"Portion size is the other thing - a portion of meat should be about the size of a deck of cards."

Wann'a perfect view?

Yes, Whatever your taste in views, Saturday's SH3 run has it all: Perfect country, perfect beer and perfect.... we'll leave that one to your imagination.

And here are the details:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1520
Saturday July 24th, 2010, 4:30 p.m.
Hare: Egghead
Misdirections: from the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 16k and turn right for 3.5k then left just after the big tree and follow signs/paper for about 2k to the run site. (From Hatyai take a right at Nam Noi off the old Songkhla road and go 12k then turn right just before the big tree and follow signs and paper to the run site)

On Sunday, there will be no HH3 run but there will be a Full Moon H3 run. The details are:
Hatyai Full Moon H3 run #68, Sunday July 25th 2010; 7:00 p.m.
Hare: Kai Jiew
Misdirections:
From the Ko Yo intersection, take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 4.2k then left for 1.5k to the run site on the left.
Usual stuff applies: Bring some food and some beer or buy HFM special brew (of which there will be copious supplies, in the spirit of the alcohol free holiday on Monday) at 3 cans for 100 Baht. And don't forget your handlight!

Proof!

Left: Brigitte as she is today. Right: Computer simulation of Brigitte today if she'd run 40km per week since 1958.

Surely many of you had your doubts about the preceding story. I mean, if running really kept you young, well, why are we all such a pack of geezers?

However the amazing photographs above, courtesy of the Faculté de Médecine de Créteil at the Université Paris Val de Marne, should convince you otherwise. Brigitte Bardot . . . if only.

Running 'can slow ageing process'

Runners avoid premature death

Running on a regular basis can slow the effects of ageing, a study by US researchers shows. Elderly joggers were half as likely to die prematurely from conditions like cancer than non-runners. They also enjoyed a healthier life with fewer disabilities, the Stanford University Medical Center team found. Experts said the findings in Archives of Internal Medicine reinforced the importance that older people exercise regularly.



Survival of the fittest

The work tracked 500 older runners for more than 20 years, comparing them to a similar group of non-runners. All were in their 50s at the start of the study. Nineteen years into the study, 34% of the non-runners had died compared to only 15% of the runners.
Both groups became more disabled with age, but for the runners the onset of disability started later - an average of 16 years later. The health gap between the runners and non-runners continued to widen even as the subjects entered their ninth decade of life. Running not only appeared to slow the rate of heart and artery related deaths, but was also associated with fewer early deaths from cancer, neurological disease, infections and other causes. And there was no evidence that runners were more likely to suffer osteoarthritis or need total knee replacements than non-runners - something scientists have feared.

At the beginning of the study, the runners ran for about four hours a week on average. After 21 years, their weekly running time had reduced to around 76 minutes, but they were still seeing health benefits from taking regular exercise. Lead author Professor James Fries, emeritus professor of medicine at Stanford, said: "The study has a very pro-exercise message. If you had to pick one thing to make people healthier as they age, it would be aerobic exercise. The health benefits of exercise are greater than we thought."

Age Concern says many older people do not exercise enough. Figures show more than 90% of people in the UK over 75 fail to meet international guidelines of half-an-hour moderate intensity exercise at least five times a week. Gordon Lishman, director general, said:
"This research re-confirms the clear benefits of regular exercise for older people. Exercise can help older people to stay mobile and independent, ensure a healthy heart, keep weight and stress levels under control, and promote better sleep. While younger people are barraged with encouragement to lead healthier lifestyles, the health needs of older people are often overlooked."

Courtesy of Smeghead. Thanks mate, but we're still just old geezers!

Magic pleasure bed

So Egghead is still trying to flog that TV and chair? As a former, ahem, professional advertising copywriter, please allow me to help out. This is how you write an ad. Click to read!

The future: alive with possibilities

This week's hares consider a future alive with possibilities



Following last week's heartfelt appeal for hares, the good news is that we now have a hareline stretching into August.

But stretching is the appropriate word because it will be the same old people who have been responsible for most of the runs this year, who will be setting the next four: R2D2, Sex Sprinter, Buk Toy, Beavershot, Egghead and Only a Yolk.

Bored with the same old hares? Then volunteer now and set a run in August ... or September... or October... The future is alive with possibilities!

But back to reality; this week's SH3 details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1519, Saturday 17th July 2010: 4:30 p.m.
Hares: R2D2, Egghead and Cha-Cha the Eggdog
Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 17k and turn right. Go 500 meters and turn right along the track to the run site in the quarry.

The Hatyai H3 run this Sunday (July 18th: 4:15 p.m. or near offer) is a Sex Printer-Toy Boy production and will be from a site about 1.5k down Th. Poonakan from Wat Keow Kloy on the left. If you're coming from Hatyai it's about 8k from the Klong Rien traffic lights, on the right.

Finally, back on the market this week are Schmuckme's TV, video and walnut and leather office chair (seen below), as the original buyer hasn't followed through on the deal. The asking price for the TV and video is 8000 Baht which is not far short of half the price new, and the chair which would make a classy addition to any boy's room is a snip at 2000 Baht. First buyer of either gets the free kettle thrown in. Viewing at AUA in Platha road; delivery can be arranged.

Broccoli and the Brain

More beauty than brains

Slight update on the SH3 run directions posted yesterday:

From the Kao Saeng intersection take the Old Yala road for 11.5k and turn right. Follow the road for 4.2k (go straight ahead at the crossroads at 2k), to the run site on the right.

The changes (spot them if you can!) are in red.
Does this mean they have actually been out and done a recce?

Naaaaah!

Beauty and the Brain

Both this weekend's runs are being set by the same combination of beauty and brains: Knob Gobling, alias Off T and Only a Yolk, a.k.a. Moo Sahb. The question is which one is the beauty and which one has the brain?

Saturdays SH3 details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run # 1518, Saturday July 10th, 4:30 p.m.
Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the Old Yala road for 11.5k and turn right. Follow the road for 4k (go straight ahead at the crossroads at 2k), then turn right for 1k along the road leading up to Kao Ron. The run site is on the right.

Sunday's HH3 run (11th July, 4:15 p.m.'ish) will be set from near the old gas station on the Old Hatyai road (about 9k from the Ko Yo intersection on the right, or from Hatyai about 1k past the Nam Noi traffic lights on the left.)

Incidentally the SH3 hareline is looking decidedly thin again so the hare raiser will be doing his best to fill it this Saturday. Volunteer or be volunteered! The next vacancy is 17th July and yes, that is next week!