OK, so we thought Egghead was just joking when asked about the short runners during Saturday's hash and he replied, "I left them vomiting in the jungle!"And as stand-in GM, I am ashamed to say that afterwards I had a role in putting the three human and one canine hurlers on the ice. They were an easy target, and we all assumed that they were merely weak and womanly.
But now the truth has come out.
Handjob, who has withstood countless awful bus rides across the worst roads in Isaan with nary a cookie tossed, reported that the experience -- blindfolded in the back of Egg's throbbing blue Vigo as it careened up the washboard dirt road over the ridge -- was "like a trip to hell". She says she came within the last digit of Calling Ruth on the Big White Phone.
Further investigation revealed that the experience was equally traumatic for everyone else as well. Even normally stoic Tutti Frutti indicated that he too had come within a hair's breadth of blowing chunks. I mean, have you ever heard of an Australian chundering without the assistance of beer?
Mind you, the run was excellent, and none of the long runners had any complaints. But if Egghead thinks that the way to bolster our dwindling numbers is to subject the short runners to punishment so cruel and unusual that Dick Cheney would blush, what's next? Waterboarding?
As a memento I suggest we all chip in and buy him this attractive Abu Ghraib Coffee Table.
Hmm... perhaps the blindfolds were a mistake. Next time maybe I'll just strap them in the back of the pick-up so they can't turn their heads to see where they're going... or maybe administer a mild anasthetic to numb their sensory organs, like LSD... yeah, just imagine, the short run on acid trying to follow another confusing Egghead map and heading on paper towards the downhill section from hell, laughing and tripping gaily as they plummet 200 meters down an open scar in the jungle...
ReplyDeleteHey it's lucky my comments never get posted, I mean no one would suspect what goes on in this manic Chang addled brain.