Remember, Remember the Twelfth of September...

....mayhem, anarchy and grot.

This month's hastily arranged Full Moon Run will take place tomorrow, Monday 12th September, and YOU have been targeted as exactly the person to attend to make the whole event sparkle in the way that the last two sparsely attended runs have failed to do.

Run details are:

Hatyai Full Moon H3 run #81, Monday September 12th, 2011; 7:00 p.m.

Hare: Kai Jeow

Misdirections: From the KoYo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 5.2k. Turn right through the temple arch and follow signs for 500 m to the run site Chez Ouefs.

Usual stuff applies: bring some beer if you feel like sharing it or buy Full Moon special brew at 100 Baht for 3 cans. Don't forget your handlight in case the full moon doesn't feel like sparkling, and contributions of food always welcome, although the Barbie is being greased down as we write to deliver all manner of good things, and there will probably be the odd vat of curry to consume as well if Only a Yolk has anything to do with it, as she undoubtedly will!

So, last message: PLEASE COME! You know it makes sense.

Want a Palm Job?

You got it!

This week's SH3 details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1579, Saturday, September 10, 2011; 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Palm Job

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo Intersection take the old Hatyai road for 6.5k and turn right after the CP factory. Go in about 1k to the run site.

Sunday's HH3 run is being set by Sex Tsunami and Nicheow and the run site is somewhere beyond Beaver's run site for SH3 last week (From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k, then right into Th. Punnakan at Wat Keow Kloy for 4.5k then left and follow the road until you see a sign).

So yes . . . why ARE we doing this?

This handsome track (click to embiggenate) belongs to today's Hatyai H3 run, about which opinions were decidedly mixed. The FRBs like Sex Sprinter, Sex Ao Ao, and Sex Star all seemed to find it . . . sexy. But then they would. Those further behind, like Softcock, Gan Yao, and Off T were less enthusiastic. Egghead, I mean Khai Jiao, loved it, while The Lady of the Lamp hated it, but then that's exactly what they both often do, so they cancel each other out. For the hare, yet another a lesson in how a run that does interesting things geographically might not always bring joy to the running rabble. But maybe, like Hillwalk III, it'll seem better in retrospect.

Stats: 7.7km long, 510m total ascent, with the highest points just 199m (at the top of that first bit of shiggy) and 200m (just before the steep muddy descent, which was only 80m vertically, though it did feel like more). First runners back in 1:20, last ones in the final moments before total darkness, 2 hours+.

Instant Replay, part ii. Would a map help?

[THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK]

[WE'RE WATCHING]

If you enjoyed last weekend's two excellent runs (and who didn't - don't answer that question!) then you'll be thrilled to hear that the same hares will also be setting the runs this coming weekend. Remarkably, as well, having managed to select the same run site last weekend, this weekend they neatly straddle Poonakan Road at the 4.5k turn off just before Wat Tung Nai, although the mile or so that separates the run sites should produce two widely varying runs as they (presumably) head off in opposite directions.

Details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1578, Saturday September 3rd, 4:30 p.m.

Hares: Sex Sprinter and Toy Boy (to whom big thanks for stepping in and saving us from another auto-pilot run)

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k. Turn left for 8k then right (at Wat Keow Kloy) for 4.5k then left for 900 meters to the run site on the right

Hatyai H3 run #547 at a guess, Sunday September 4th 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Sex Focus

Misdirections: See below, but if you're a person of habit just follow Saturday's directions and turn right off Poonakan at the 4.5k mark, then go 700 meters to the run site on the left.

Instant replay

HH3's entertainment this Sunday will feature another run built of off-the-shelf parts by Sex Focus, who like most people on this blog tends to refer to himself in the third person. Unlike last Saturday's rather perfunctory effort, this one promises to link up some of the more dramatic bits of recent beaverish runs in the area. It'll be one adrenaline-pumping flashback after another as you ask yourself once again, "Why am I doing this?"

Here, recycled from a run last October, are some preliminary misdirections, subject as always to re-interpretation by the Hare-raiser:

Misdirections: Take Old Hatyai Rd. 10km to the Nam Noi traffic lights. Go left for 3.5km, then right for 3.4km. Runsite on the right.

--ALTERNATIVE ROUTES --

Following the above misdirections, the runsite is 3.0km beyond the Thung Yai Aw Baw Taw. Alternatively, take Punnakan Rd. from Wat Khao Kloi for 4-5m, turn right on the Phru To-Thung Yai road, and go 700m to the runsite on the left. If coming from Hatyai (as some of the best people do), then take Punnakan Rd. for 5.7km, then go left 700m to the site. Or go by any route of your choice to coordinates N 07˚00.781 E 100˚32.404.

Redactio ad absurdam

In case you're wondering what's been redacted (whatever that means) from the post below, here it is. Let the truth by told!

(√h2 +v²)/1+e

As to Egghead's constant, it is indeed a variable, the value of which depends upon the length of the run in question (i.e. it is constant within the fixed framework of a run of given distance x, calculated according to the Beaver beta equation (as lifted from Pythagoras), √h2 +v², and is calculated according to the following formula:

e=((√h2 +v²)/6)-1.

Ok, ok, so it doesn't have the snappy, memorable ring to it that uncle Albert managed in his e-quation, but this one works! Unlike Albert's effort at a constant which he admitted was the greatest mistake of his life, and completely failed in its efforts to keep the universe the same size, the Egghead constantly variable run coefficient works for all non trivial run values and ensures that no run can ever possibly exceed 6 kilometers. Try it, I'm sure you'll agree that this is a major step forward in our effort to curb hares' enthusiasm, and I shall be proving the point this Saturday (as none of you other lazy b******s have stepped forward and volunteered ) when I shall be taking careful measurements which will prove conclusively that no run ever need be longer than 6 Kilometers again!

Beaverchuting

Rodent? That's such a cruel, hurtful word. "Amphibious mammal" is no doubt the term the previous post meant to use. And the "amphibious" part came in handy yesterday. By the time the hare got to the top of the hill it felt like there was more water up there than air. Fortunately things dried off by the time the rabble arrived, though it has to go down as the coldest hash of the year so far. The hot soup tasted better than the cold beer.

As promised, the length was exactly 6km, as calculated by the standard formula [FORMULA REDACTED BY OFFICIAL ORDER], where h and v are total horizontal and vertical distances in meters and e is Egghead's Constant, an unknown and unknowable number that in fact may be a variable. The lying GPS said 8.48km with a total ascent of 447 meters.

Groundhog weekend

Yaaaaawn.....

Saturday's SH3 run details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1577, Saturday August 27th 2011, 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Groundhogshot

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection, take the Old Hatyai road for 4.6k and turn left then go 6k and turn left at the crossroads, then go 1.8k and turn right for 350 meters to the run site by the sala on the left.

Sunday's (August 28, 2011, 4:30 p.m.) HH3 run is being set by Sex Printer and Toy Boy and there are a number of ways of getting to the run site:

If you are coming from Songkhla itself, you could take the old Yala road for 16k and turn right then go 7.5k then left for 350 meters to the run site on the left, or if you are coming from closer to the Ko Yo intersection, you could take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left then go 7k then turn left for 1.8k to the run site on the right; or you could even go 10k to the Nam Noi traffic lights then turn left for 7.8k then turn right for 350 meters to the run site on the left. In fact there are a large number of possible ways of getting to the run site, and that is just from Songkhla. There are probably an equally larger number of possibilities open to you if you are coming from Hatyai...

BUT whichever one you take, you will still end up at exactly the same place as you ended up at on Saturday, because beavers aside, this is Groundhog weekend when we get to run twice from the same runsite... in fact who knows how many times we are going to run, as we may just have to keep on doing it until we get it right, wasn't that the story?

But then would you trust a rodent?

Jungle Fever: The Remix

No, I can't compete with the bizarre genius of K.Y., so instead this Saturday you're going to get a remix of some old Greatest Hits. It starts from the sala where we met for last month's Full Moon Run-that-became-a-walk. Misdirections here, but no doubt our Trailmeister will soon repost them in his inimitable style. Gentle hills, delightful trails, and superb views guaranteed. And just 6km! Honest!*

*In the Egghead sense of the word.

Sticky end

Above is the sanitized version of Sticky's magnum opus from last Saturday. Below is a detail of the little bit at the top of the hill which show just how much work he had to put into getting us successfully to the beer stops. The GPS track looks like a cyber-spider on acid got into the program and all the extra bits while he searched for a half decent track amounted to about 2.5k in all on top of the 7k for the run which we eventually did (well most of us anyway) .

Sadly no track from yesterday's excellent Vaseline Scud run which all who did it agreed was a worthy contender for run of the millenium. Details of next week's Beaver run shortly, but how is he going to match that?