In case you're wondering what's been redacted (whatever that means) from the post below, here it is. Let the truth by told!
(√h2 +v2)/1+e
As to Egghead's constant, it is indeed a variable, the value of which depends upon the length of the run in question (i.e. it is constant within the fixed framework of a run of given distance x, calculated according to the Beaver beta equation (as lifted from Pythagoras), √h2 +v2, and is calculated according to the following formula:
e=((√h2 +v2)/6)-1.
Ok, ok, so it doesn't have the snappy, memorable ring to it that uncle Albert managed in his e-quation, but this one works! Unlike Albert's effort at a constant which he admitted was the greatest mistake of his life, and completely failed in its efforts to keep the universe the same size, the Egghead constantly variable run coefficient works for all non trivial run values and ensures that no run can ever possibly exceed 6 kilometers. Try it, I'm sure you'll agree that this is a major step forward in our effort to curb hares' enthusiasm, and I shall be proving the point this Saturday (as none of you other lazy b******s have stepped forward and volunteered ) when I shall be taking careful measurements which will prove conclusively that no run ever need be longer than 6 Kilometers again!
It's a pity Albert wasn't successful in coming up with a formula to keep the universe the same size, otherwise we might have been able to use the same formula to keep Eggstein's head the same size.
ReplyDeleteAre you implying that the entire universe is contained within His head?
ReplyDeleteAre you implying that it isn't??
ReplyDeleteDear Sir,
ReplyDeleteI would like to point out a flaw in your logic. Since all your runs begin and end at the same point your assumption that √(h2+ v2) represents the apparent run length, presupposes that you end your runs v meters higher than you start them. Unless you have also mastered the art of levitation as well as bullshitting, I would like to suggest amendments to your equations as follows:
Where
x = invariant run length
v= measured vertical ascent
h = horizontal measurement of apparent run length
e = egghead’s constant: ((√((h/2)2+ v2)+ √((h/2)2+ (-v) 2))/6)-1
x= (√((h/2)2+ v2))+ √((h/2)2+(-v) 2))/(1+((√((h/2)2+ v2)+ √((h/2)2+ (-v) 2))/6)-1)
Yours etc.
A.E. (Dec’d)