Yardstick & R2D2's brief excursion

Yesterday's romp in the hills above Saai Khaao courtesy Yardstick and R2D2.

Anatomy of a near fiasco

The Nam Noi area is a challenge to hares and runners at the best of times, and since the damage caused by the Big Storm of 2010, large parts of it are now totally impassable. Here are the combined tracks of the three recces I did for yesterday's run (click to enlarge). If you want to get yourself banned from SH3 haring for life, just try setting a run anywhere along the right edge of the tracks you see here. Those squiggly little lines don't come close to conveying how truly dreadful this country is now.

Staying further to the west, nearer the bottom of the hill, produced the run shown here. As usual the one last-minute bit of improvisation (the sharp jag to the left) was a mistake. But otherwise it seemed to work OK. You probably wouldn't want to try to set an A-t0-A from the runsite we used, though it's certainly a nice site and deserves a revisit someday.

Stats: 7.5km to the beer stop, then 1.5km more back to the A site. Total ascent was just over 500m. First in to the beer stop in 1:20 was Sex Sprinter, followed by Egghead and Solong. Last in on paper were Khii Leum at about 1:45 and Softcock at just under two hours. Shortcutters were Gan Yao (who arrived back at the site suspiciously quickly -- was a vehicle involved?) and Only a Yolk, who Egghead rushed off to rescue when he realized she had half of his team of dogs with her.

Last week - this week -next year

Last week's ad-hoc collection of hares managed (if I say so in all modesty) to produce a pretty good SH3 run last Saturday, although some alleged confusion with trails lead to one or two of our directionally challenged runners not being able to work out the location of the run site at the end.

Sunday's HH3 run exists only in memory; although Off T did carry his GPS round, he sensibly short cut so avoided most of the pain. All runs are good, but some are less good than others. This was one of those. Apart from a 10 minute section at the end on the way back to the runsite, when we did what we are supposed to do and actually ran in the jungle, the main features of the run consisted of being directed down spurious false trails and check backs by the hare followed by a tortuous steep ascent through unpleasant shiggy culminating at the road which we then duly ran back down past the pack of semi-evolved wolves guarding the stainless steel chedi atop Khao Ko Hong (which Kii Leum asserts is an alien spacecraft cunningly disguised but conveniently located to rescue adherents of 'the book' when the rapture occurs and whisk them off to somewhere where they can still drink beer, and sit around and say 'I told you so!') Nice try, chaps but don't do it again!

This week, in contrast, we will be treated to two runs by the same hares, which is a reflection of the general shortage of willing hares at the moment. Details are:

SH3 run # 1591, Saturday, December 5th 2011: 4:00 p.m.

Hares: Sex Sprinter and Palm Job

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 6.5k and turn right next to the CP Foods factory, then go 1k to the run site on the right.

HH3 on Sunday will also be set by Sex Printer and Scud and the run site will be 11.5k down the old Hatyai road on the left. The starting time should be 4:00 p.m.

Finally, HH3 are already advertising a New Years' Eve party at the Sai Kao Resort on 31st December. As NYE is a Saturday SH3 are desperately trying to get the event billed as a joint run so that we don't have the embarrassment of conflicting with our big daughter. The outcome of the delicate negotiations will no doubt be announced this Saturday, but the gist seems to be that the SH3 run that day will be from Sai Kao Resort and will probably be a torchlight run which will meld seamlessly with a NYE party featuring food, beer and entertainment including the latest version of the dancing pussies. There will be some accommodation available at the resort or a camp over for the hard up or slow-to-book. Sunday morning will feature recriminations, hangovers, unhealthy breakfasts and if it can be organised a run to dispel all of them and to restore faith in the wisdom of embarking on 2012 at all.

Grot averted, mayhem and anarchy postponed

The Full Moon Hash is alive and well after last night's highly successful outing and social gathering with the awful weather magically lifting to give us a clear moonlit night and the considerate trail not requiring anyone to get their feet wet despite mostly steering clear of the well worn tracks. Stick Insect was first home in an hour just ahead of Sex Printer who tried to cut the in trail and did get his feet wet. He seems to be making a habit of short cutting these days after being lead astray by Off T's GPS on Sunday.

Also lead astray were the short run, who unwisely followed Only a Yolk's example and only did half the run, and Stick Insect's wallet which seems to have made a bid for freedom from the life of depravity and exploitation it is required to lead, but sadly it's inability to hide itself in time lead to its recapture the following morning and its restoration to its tearful owner, who has promised that he will mend his ways and treat the wallet with more respect in future.

Upcoming next is Dung Beetle's birthday town run which will take place as planned this Saturday, despite his present hospitalization. More details in a day or two when our intermediaries have established the big boy's precise intentions.

Sticky end

Above is the sanitized version of Sticky's magnum opus from last Saturday. Below is a detail of the little bit at the top of the hill which show just how much work he had to put into getting us successfully to the beer stops. The GPS track looks like a cyber-spider on acid got into the program and all the extra bits while he searched for a half decent track amounted to about 2.5k in all on top of the 7k for the run which we eventually did (well most of us anyway) .

Sadly no track from yesterday's excellent Vaseline Scud run which all who did it agreed was a worthy contender for run of the millenium. Details of next week's Beaver run shortly, but how is he going to match that?

A run with some geezers in Chonburi

So your correspondent today went out to run with Pattaya Bush H3, a monthly hash whose demographic pretty much resembles ours . . . maybe two guys under 40, most in their 50s, and a couple even older than Egghead, if you can imagine that. And of course they're mostly Pattaya pissheads, so what could you possibly expect of their run?

Well, how about 20 -- yes, 20 -- checks over 11+ kilometers? No bad, eh? But hang on, that was only the first half. After a brief water stop, it carried on for another 16 checks and roughly 14 more km. That made 25km in about 3 hours.

Now with our hills and our smaller numbers, we'd be crazy to try anything like that here. But it just goes to show what even old farts can accomplish if they set their half-minds to it. Something to keep in mind the next time a SH3/HH3 hare sets a 10km/90 min. run and we (and I include myself) start whingeing about how extreme it is . . . .

Where pussies dare

Click on the image to LARGE it!

Who's going to set the monster next year? The pussies put in an early bid for consideration this afternoon with a run that put this years civilized monster, 3 runs back, to shame in the length department with this sanitized, de-F'd version clocking in at between 9.5 and 10k. The GPS-that-never-lies records that the hares put in 5 hours and 8 minutes in laying the run, of which less than 2 hours was spent resting. They went up 434 meters although only reaching a maximum elevation of 187 meters and the pack (or those members of it whose memory did not became hazy when confronted with the fact that they missed out the final hill - Sex Sprinter and Phuk!) devoted a minumum of 1 hour 45 minutes to negotiating the trail, and Buk Toy took considerably more than that!

Tomorrow's HH3 run is promised as being completely pussy-free and will consist of wide shady trails through softly undulating countryside with a single modest ascent up a small hill and a considerate descent through verdant orchards to a gentle trail home in time for tea. Comely maidens will be on hand to mop our mildly perspiring brows as we spring lightly across the forgiving turf and the run will boast at least 3 beer stops. Well, ok that last bit is a slight exaggeration, but the hare is promising a less demanding Sunday excursion than we enjoyed today!

Voting with their (four) feet

A houndless hash -- how many years has it been since we had one of those? In an obvious show of solidarity with their oppressed sister Pigloid, not a single dog showed up for today's Hatyai Hash run. (Although Pigloid, now a full-fledged celebrity, was later spotted chained in the back of Eggafi's pickup truck.)

Anyhow, apart from the political implications, it was a great run. GPS track, please!

Christmas Day 2010 in glorious technicolor!

Long run in red, short run in yellow. 6.8k and 4.2k respectively. 52 minutes for Sex Sprinter with the short runners, and the sick lame and lazy from the long run straggling in around the hour mark.

But the good news is that we ate all the turkey, and although there is still some beer to be dealt with, the residue of the chickens and the cow were polished off today at Hatyai Hash, so anyone who went to both runs needn't eat or drink for a week!

Sadly no image of the bewilderingly good HH3 run today as Off T failed to deliver up the GPS with the track on it, but it may follow later. However, Sex (S)Printer is now GM of Hatyai Hash after a unanimous vote.

Long live the GM! (and Happy New Year to Cesspool who may be dropping in about now)

Pussy-whip it good!

Mee-ow! 7.7k horizontally, 430 meters of upward mobility and a maximum elevation of 176 meters. The thick end of an hour and a half for Foo-Foo to run it and a whacking 4 3/4 hours for the pussies and their canine cohorts to set it (OK, so only 2 3/4 hours of that was actually spent moving, but, hey a girl needs a rest now and then!)

But this afternoon's outing has only confirmed that these days our pussy runs are among the best runs we get set, and full credit to After Hours, Crackwurst, Only a Yolk and Meals on Wheels for a great afternoon's running, and particularly to Only a Yolk who not only guided the girls round with the new PGS (Pussy Guidance System) but then with barely an hour's break, swept the long run and guided no less than 4 of the pack safely home who otherwise might still be trying to break the last check.

On! On! to kinder gentler things at HH3 tomorrow when we promise there will be no pussies involved!

Autopilot delivers...

... 7.3 kilometers or thereabouts; max elevation: 110 meters; total ascent: 234 meters.

FROP, Sex Sprinter back in 1 hour 21 minutes.

Nosin, still smiling brought up the rear in 1h.35m.

Stick Insect found 5 out of 6 false trails (tee hee hee!)

And all this wrought by a GPS guided robot and three doggies (Oh, and Only a Yolk as well who is all too human!)

But despair not, The Pussies will set a real run next week. Be there and weep!

Run 1536: Was this what the hares meant us to do?

'cos it sure wasn't what this hound did. But a process of guesswork and editing out the numerous extra bits and diversions suggests that this may have been approximately where the paper went. 4.7k of hashing in the raw (red) and 2.7k of road running (blue) , or, if you were sensible, being ferried home by Kii Leum in Stick Insect's limo.

But look at it this way: Vaseline? Give us your worst son; you're on a winner today!

The unbearable rightness of being the bearer of the GPS

Now this is what I call a run! Notice the cunningly coincidental in and out trails; the deftly avoided track at the northern edge of the run, the considerate length (after all guys, some of us are pushing 58 and 4.367k is about all we are up to after an unsuccessful night trying to pull pussy in the Yes Bar and being rejected by girls old enough to be our grandchildren). And for those doubting Bartholomews and Johannes who thought that it had been "at least 7k", Mr Google's naggingly accurate scale is there to disabuse you of your post-climactic illusions. Get used to it buddy: this is the future!