All hail the new king of hares!

Attack of the killer stick insect

Ok, Ok, so it's Friday morning and there are no misdirections AGAIN; and posts without pictures are a serious turnoff and Google Images is not coming up with much; or maybe I'm just not getting the cue right. But mutant stick insect seemed like a promising search, so this 'll have to do.

Anyway, Sticky has stepped forward and this week's run details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1576, Saturday August 20th, 2011; 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Stick Insect

Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the Hatyai road out of Songkhla for about 3.5k and turn left then go 500 meters to the run site at Wat Kaow Keow.

Sunday's HH3 run is being set by Scud and Vaseline, and if you doubt the influence wielded by the combined Hashes of Songkhla and Hatyai in world affairs, just try searching Google Images with the cue: Vaseline Scud!

Directions are:

(From Songkhla) From the Ko Yo Intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k, then turn left just beyond Wat Keow Kloy and follow the track for about 1k to the run site.

From Hatyai, the smart money is on going to the Nam Noi traffic lights and turning right then going 6k and turning right at the crossroads at Ban Tha Kam for 2k then left just after Wat Keow Kloy. The alternative is going all the way up Th. Poonakan and turning right at the top then immediately left, but bear in mind that Sunday is the last day of the Mor Or fair so the section of Poonakan near the uni. is likely to be traffic carnage.

5k by the light of the silvery moon

25k? Scandalous!

So just to reassure you, this week's full moon run which will take place on Wednesday will be a modest 5k; honest!

Details are:

Hatyai Full Moon Hash run #77 or thereabouts. Wednesday, August 17th, 7:00 p.m.

Hare: Kai Jeow

Misdirections: From Songkhla, take the Old Hatyai road for 4.7k beyond the Ko Yo intersection and turn left for about 4k then left for 1k to the run site which will be at the end of the immaculate new tarmac section of what was formerly a pleasant and gentle track through the rubber but is now a three lane highway to nowhere.

(From Hatyai, turn right at Kuan Hin Mai/Wat Nern Salai and go 4k etc.)

All the usual stuff applies: Bring beer to share or rely on the copious supplies of full moon ale (3 cans for 100 Baht) which by special request of Knackerwurst will include a case of Tiger (but perversely may not include any Leo, so if you are really Chang/Tigerphobic bring your own!)

Contributions of food always welcome and if you don't want to trust to the light of the silvery moon bring a handlight or one of those miners' lamp thingies. Oh, and there will be a zimmer frame-able short run available for the pediatricly challenged, so Yardo, there's no real excuse for not coming along to keep us all amused!

No announcement yet about Songkhla Hash next week as we still don't have any hares, but no doubt there will be a flood of volunteers on Wednesday when details will be given out. Either that or start checking out what's on telly on Saturday afternoon!

A run with some geezers in Chonburi

So your correspondent today went out to run with Pattaya Bush H3, a monthly hash whose demographic pretty much resembles ours . . . maybe two guys under 40, most in their 50s, and a couple even older than Egghead, if you can imagine that. And of course they're mostly Pattaya pissheads, so what could you possibly expect of their run?

Well, how about 20 -- yes, 20 -- checks over 11+ kilometers? No bad, eh? But hang on, that was only the first half. After a brief water stop, it carried on for another 16 checks and roughly 14 more km. That made 25km in about 3 hours.

Now with our hills and our smaller numbers, we'd be crazy to try anything like that here. But it just goes to show what even old farts can accomplish if they set their half-minds to it. Something to keep in mind the next time a SH3/HH3 hare sets a 10km/90 min. run and we (and I include myself) start whingeing about how extreme it is . . . .

What? Gan Yao? Wo!

This week's hare is Gan Yao. Now in case you think the heading of this item indicates some incredulity or horror at this prospect or perhaps even a late sixties expression of delight, let me say straight away that I haven't the faintest idea what it means, or to be more precise I don't have the faintest idea what the Chinese heiroglyphics under the big friendly What! mean, although they undoubtedly transliterate into our familiar English alphabet (and let's have no quibbles about whose alphabet it is) as Gan Yao Wo.

So this week's SH3 run will forever hereafter be know as the, What? Gan Yao? Wo! run and we shall have to wait until it has run its course or to be more precise until we have run its course to establish which of the various possible meanings of that import laden phrase will prove to be apt.

Now to the directions. The hare has provided us with precise if unusually phrased details of how this week's run can be found, which read:

"From the Koh Yo intersection (where you set your trip meter for any Malaysians) go down the old Hat Yai road for 4.7km, turn left at the HHH sign. Zero your trip meter and go down this road, at about 7.8Km you will pass Wat Keow Kloy on your right at a junction. Go straight, and at 9.9 ish kilometres turn left"

Zero trip, persevere for 100mt and turn right, follow road left in another 100mt and follow the road, which turns to dirt (as in everything I touch!) for about 2 km through the estate. Hares Toyota Starship will be parked round the right turn."

For the benefit of those of us whose grasp of God's own language is less florid, the standard model details of the run will hereafter be forever expressed as:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1575, Saturday August 13th, 2011: 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Gan Yao

Misdirections. From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 9.9k. Turn left and go right after 100 meters then left after another 100 meters and follow the road for about 2k to the run site near where the hare's pick-up will be parked.

Rumor has it that we may have some KL hashers joining us and that they and others will then be heading off to help Bi Anal celebrate his sixtieth birthday. The hare, cogniscent of this has promised that the run will not unduly delay those lucky enough to have been invited to the festivities so don't let the promise of the evening's delights stop you from coming... to the hash.

Sunday's (August 14th 2011; 4:30 p.m.) HH3 run will be set from the Or Bor Tor office at Tungyai (old Hatyai road, 10k, left 3.5k, right 500 meters) and the hares are Sex Star and Sex Ao Ao. The afternoon will feature democracy in action as all in attendance are asked to vote on how HH3 will celebrate it's 555 run at the end of October. Now, doesn't that ring a bell? Celebrate? Special run? End of October?

Nah!

Shock! Horror! as Thaksin, Cambodia attack hash

The hashing world was stunned this week at the news that last Saturday's run was sabotaged by fugitive ex Prime Minister, Thaksin Shinawatra who reportedly employed a gang of drug crazed Cambodian commandos, posing as innocent drunken rubber workers to remove vast amounts of paper from Saturday's run, causing the pack to wander round in a state later described as stunned confusion. A spokesman for SH3 described attempts to downplay the situation as grossly exaggerated and denied that the pack were simply unable to follow the trail when it didn't go where they expected it to. "These are experienced and seasoned hashers we are talking about here," he said "not a bunch of mindless jerks suffering from delusions of athleticism." A spokesperson for the hares later commented "Woof woof woof bunch woof woof mindless woof woof jerks woof woof woof about fuggin' right woof woof!"

Outstation overkill and even more pussies!

Here, for those who enjoy this sort of thing, is a visual record of last week's outstation run in which the hares made full use of the available countryside to the point of overkill! Future organizers of outstation runs please note: It's nice to go somewhere where we can run a bit as well as do all the other things we packed into the weekend! But generally the response to last week's trip has been to ask when we can do it all again so probably the lack of an outstanding run wasn't too much of a problem.

Stop press:

Tomorrows hares at the latest count are: After Ours, Crackwurst, Only a Yolk, Meals on Wheels, Temporary Relief, Softdog, Korean Barbecue, Illegal Beagle, White Meat, Harram, Pink Floyd and Puy. Could this finally be the week when we have more hares than hounds? Come along and prevent it happening (or be there and be able to boast to your grandchildren about it!)

More Satun outstation pix

Now that's a relief . . .

Whew . . . I was beginning to get concerned about our next run. And when I get concerned, strange things come out of the photo archive.

BTW, Handjob claims no knowledge of or interest in setting Saturday's run, so I guess she's out. If anybody with more patience than me could kindly explain to her why her life is hopelessly impoverished without the hash, or at least the food it serves every Saturday, then please talk to her. I've tried . . . .

You can never get enough pussy!

Our ladies are puckering up again for your delight this weekend and will be out early on Saturday morning with no intention other than to completely fulfill all your worst nightm.... errr fantasies... of the running kind! Details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1574: Saturday, August 6th 2011, 4:30 p.m.

Hares: Crackwurst, After Ours, Only a Yolk, Meals on Wheels and Handjob

Misdirections: from the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 4.3k and turn right for 1.2k to the run site close to the reservoir behind the Gor Sor Nor.

Sunday's HH3 run which will quite definitely and without a shadow of a doubt take place this week is down Poonakan way again: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k then right at Wat Keow Kloy for 5k then turn left just before Wat Tungnai and go about 1k to the run site on the left. The hares are Sex Printer and Toy Boy and the fun starts sometime after 4:00 p.m.but probably not as late as 4:30.