Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Beaver tree-felling: The true story

Now I enjoy a good beaver mishap photo or video as much as the next man, especially if he's Canadian. But The Online Scum's fact-checking department takes a more serious view.

What their research turned up was a remarkable academic paper entitled "Directional Tree Felling by Beavers (Castor canadensis)". You probably don't believe that, so here's a link.

Therefore, sadly, it appears that Mr. Yao's photo is Fake News. Beavers rule!
See?! Never underestimate a beaver!
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3 comments:

  1. Gan YaoAugust 23, 2017 at 2:52 PM

    What a coincidence! I was just discussing this paper in the 'Beaver's Online' forum. Of course we are familiar with its contents having completed 'Beaver studies modules 1-4' (the UK education curriculum is quite thorough)you will note that no where in the posting was there any assertation that the tree had been felled by the beaver (deceased). In fact there is a real possibility that the tree fell due to the weakening of it's trunk caused by sucessive blows from an axe, wielded by an irate member of the hashing community. I typed this into Google's online translator and it came up with 'it's not midsummer you monster'

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  2. BeavoAugust 23, 2017 at 5:09 PM

    GY, thank you for bringing this to my attention. I can see that my research on this important story is not going to leave any time to recce or set the run on Saturday, so would you guys mind just running a 100m circle around the beer truck till you're bored or thirsty? Hamsters really seem to enjoy this on their wheels so I don't see any problem.

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  3. Gan YaoAugust 24, 2017 at 4:25 PM

    Dear Mr. Beaver,

    On behalf of the Songkhla Beaver Appreciation Society I write to apologise for the actions of our Mr. Gan Yao. Whilst a well meaning young man ('Gregory is a nice young man and should go far' school report Form 3a 1967)Gan Yao does occassionally forget to take his medication and, typically for world class athletes, is subject to hallucinations, some of these are quite vivid, particularly those where he is persued by herds of teeth snapping rodents.

    On a more alarming note is the news that we have just checked his room, the bars on the window have been sawn through, and the fire axe is missing. We would suggest a retreat to the lodge might be in order.

    We hope that this brings to an end this affair and we look forward to attending your Post Midsummer Mini Monster this coming Saturday.

    Yours

    Ivor Tinov Warfarin

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