Rogue elephant on the rampage at Khao Lam

Never let it be said that Stick Insect doesn't meticulously plan his runs down to the finest artistic detail. Coincidence? I think not, any more than was the location of yesterday's run site, adjacent to the village fair, so that R2D2's manful efforts to run a circle worthy of the occasion were all but drowned out by the traditional Thai garb... err music blaring out from the sound system. But it didn't interfere with the consumption of all the beer, wine and champagne that Sticky had thoughtfully laid in, even though the wine token on the long run was never found, thanks to some idiot running off of the paper, calling the pack on from a check before they had time to find the token at the check back where it had been laid. But it didn't matter; we drank it anyway!

Not too many complaints about the run either, which although under the 5k barrier took about an hour and ten even for those who didn't ruthlessly short cut it; and they shall remain nameless to save my blushes and Only a Yolk's too: sometimes local knowledge has it's benefits!

This week's runs...

...are: on Saturday the 'Stick Insect: I'm not 60 yet but I will be in 2 years time' run and details are:

SH3 run#1565, Saturday 28th May 2011, 4:30 p.m.

Hares: Stick Insect (and possibly Wet Spot and Pak Ma)

Misdirections: From The Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 11.5k and turn right then go 1.5k and turn right into the football field. Park in the rubber between the football field and the wat.

There are promises of wine and champagne tokens on both the long and the short run and there are predictions of a drinkable birthday present as well. So do come along and wish our leading Farang runner Happy Birthday and make sure that he doesn't have to drink all that beer alone!

On Sunday (May 29th: 4:** p.m., HH3 will be just up the road at the Sai Kao Resort (the run site used for their 500th run last year) and the hares will be Sex Printer and Buk Toy. Directions from Songkhla are either to take the same route as for Saturday then carry on beyond the football field for 500 meters and cross the crossroads ahead then go on for another 2.2k then turn right and the resort is about 1k up the road on the right. Alternatively, from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7 k and turn left then go 6k to Ban Tha Kham and turn left and go about 4.5k to the resort on the left.

On! On!

Egg

Angry beaver roams through NWT town

A large, agitated beaver attracted a crowd in Fort Smith, Northwest Territories, this week when it meandered through town and got hissy with a German shepherd.

The beaver was spotted Monday evening wandering around a residential neighbourhood, along a busy street, through a graveyard and golf course, all the while escorted by an N.W.T. Environment and Natural Resources officer.

Mike Keizer, a longtime resident in the town of 2,400 near the N.W.T.-Alberta border, said he hopped on his bicycle as soon as he heard there was a beaver on the loose.

"It looked huge. I always thought beavers would be smaller," Keizer told CBC News on Thursday.

"All the beavers I've ever seen have been in water, so you only ever see pieces of them; like, you don't get to see the whole beaver."

Another Fort Smith resident, Jason Mercredi, shot video footage of the beaver moving in a ditch and on a sidewalk along McDougal Street.

"There's a beaver holding up [the] main street," Mercredi says in the video, before asking his uncle if the animal would attack.

"He's pissed," Mercredi remarked.

Got agitated, flustered

The wayward animal, which Keizer estimated was the size of a dog, zigzagged across people's lawns and around their homes.

"Every time it got agitated or flustered, it would bang its tail on the ground. I mean, I was amazed at how fast it moved when it was agitated," he recalled.

Keizer said the beaver became especially agitated when it came nose-to-nose with somebody's German shepherd, with just a chain-link fence separating the two animals.

"It never backed down once. It grabbed the fence, it was hissing, and the dog was barking," Keizer said.

"When the ENR officer went to get it turned [around] so he'd get it away from town, he had a plywood sheet in front of him, and it rushed the sheet."

Keizer said he rode his bike ahead of the beaver, knocking on residents' doors and warning them to bring their dogs indoors "because there's a wild beaver walking through town, heading your way."

"While I was there, all kinds of people were driving up in their trucks and their cars and taking pictures," he said.

The beaver wandered about another kilometre or two before it headed towards the Slave River rapids and disappeared.

Keizer said in his 17 years living in Fort Smith, he has never seen a beaver — never mind a beaver so large — come into town.

Link to story and video here.

This weeks runs: The direction doctor advises

You really wanna know?

Saturday's details are:

SH3 run #1563, Saturday May 21st 2011, 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Buk Toy and Sex Sprinter

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 11k, then left and follow the road/track for about 1.5k to the run site

Sunday's HH3 run is being set by Pig Porker and the run site is on the Chana - Phattalung road in the Na Mom area. The run site can either be reached by taking the same turning off the old Hatyai road as for Saturday and continuing on past Wat Nerm Pichit for a total of about 14k until you reach the Chana-Phattalung highway, then turning right for about 10k to the run site on the left; or you can stay on the old Hatyai road, past Hatyai on Karnchanavit road, past Macro to the flyover (about 22k from the Ko Yo Intersection) and turn left. The run site is then on the opposite side of the road (the right) and you will need to do a U turn in about 2.8 k to reach it.

Anywhere else you want directions to?

More runs for your money

With the addition of the full moon run on Monday (May 16th), those of us who enjoyed yesterday's pussy run can now fit three runs in this week. Directions are to go to the New Yala road probably about 3.5k and look for a sign - probably on the right. The hare is After Ours and the usual stuff applies: bring a handlight, some beer if you feel like it and some food if you think you'll be hungry afterwards. Full moon special brew should be on sale at 3 cans for 100 Baht and the run should start at 7:00 p.m.

Just a reminder as well that today (Sunday 15th May)'s HH3 run is from a runsite just past Wat Keow Kloy on the right and not as advertised below. The hare is still Nicheow.

Revenge of the killer pussies

It’s that time again, when our normally subservient and docile pussies rise up and take control of our lives for an hour and a bit. This week they’ll be struttin’ their stuff at the Aw Baw Taw office at Tung Yai; full details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers’ Run #1562, Saturday May 14, 2011; 4:30 p.m.

Hares: (from) After Ours, Crackwurst, Ram It In, Only a Yolk, Meals on Wheels, Temporary Relief and associated doggies and lesser mortals (i.e the odd husband who may be at a loose end).

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 10k and turn left at the Nam Noi traffic lights for about 3.6k then right for about 500 meters to the run site on the left.

Sunday’s HH3 run is from Nerm Pichit and is being set by Nicheow (From the Ko Yo intersection take the Old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for about 11k (i.e. about 3k past Wat Keow Kloy) then left at the hash sign and follow whatever signs, paper, chicken entrails etc. have been left to indicate the exact whereabouts of the run site.

Finally, the Full moon this month is next Tuesday, which is Visaka Bucha day and a public holiday to wit for those of you lucky enough to have thoughtful employers who value the religious welfare of their employees. Logically we should do it on the day but Monday also can lah and Wednesday is not totally out of the question. However, the main ingredient to make it all happen is a willing hare so if you fancy running this month (and bear in mind that we missed out last month). Volunteer and name the day!

P.S. Apologies for the late posting but the blogger people have been doing maintenance to their site and there has been no access for the last 24 hours since the decision was reached on this week's run. Don't say I didn't warn you!

Mum, wot's a scribe report?

Scribe Report (Yes, remember them?!!)

Run #1561

Hare: Egghead (but he made the missus cook the curry before she went)

I have half an hour before going to meet Stick Insect at his local boozer and watch the football. So I thought I would reawaken an old tradition, after you’ve read it the cries will be ‘let it sleep!”

I turned into the run site and everyone clapped. Had I scored the winner against Real Madrid? Had they mistaken me for the beer wagon? No, they were just happy that someone else had showed up. With the outstation run drawing thousands we were down to a few. But, it’s not the quantity, it’s the quality. And did we shine!

Egghead called On On and we did a Carl Lewis impersonation into the rubber and directly into a black, black thunderstorm. The lightning raged, thunder roared. Rubber trees bent double, Egghead; like a man possessed, cried ‘the white whale’ and we charged on. Onto the road, check, rain was falling so fast I could only just keep in front of it, the check was broken by a Canuck Chopper Chappie and we rowed our way on, oh no! back check and on back to the road. I looked hopefully both ways for a taxi, but no chance. On On and Egghead had found a hill. In an area that made the Lincolnshire fens enticing to a Sherpa he found a hill, and up we went. He said it was only 220’, but anything over my head is a mountain. Just before the top we hit a check, I headed right, Bart’s son left and the hare advised ‘Greg don’t go that way’, and I learnt later it was because I would have hit the home trail but that’s just what I wanted! Stick Insect worried that City Tits would have drunk all the Chang if we didn’t get back soon. The check was broken, the rain eased and we found ourselves in a surreal, alien landscape. Giant boulders poking up through the earth, or were they alien life forms? Giant brains, quick sign them up for the hash; we need all the help we can get! On On!

A wonderful back check, found by Bart, where (now keep this to yourselves) the sight of the hare standing at the bottom of the hill gave us a hint and no one followed Bart’s enthusiastic cries of On On! It was a long check too, eventually ‘check back’ rang out from the hilltop.

The circle went for hours, charge after charge, gales of knee slapping mirth, more ice or perhaps we just had a few beers, a chat and a laugh. It’s strange, I was disappointed when I saw how small the pack was, but it was a great run, we stayed pretty much together throughout, though to be fair, I did have some assistance, and perhaps, just this once I can agree that the hare on the run can be useful, if only because it was so funny to hear Bart’s excited cries of On as he headed up the hill to the check back! Thanks to the hare!!

Gan Yao

7 share million Kwacha payout

Seven lucky winners are today celebrating sharing a one million Kwacha bonanza and will tomorrow find that there is 10 Stang (equivalent to 250, million Kwacha) in their bank accounts, which is the lowest denomination available to transfer in to compensate for all the money that we have extracted with the aid of their kindly provided bank details!

Cheers guys!

But the good news is that the beer truck made so much money from the celebrations that from next week, beer will be back on sale from the beer truck at 3 cans for 100 Baht.

The run? Gan Yao thought if all runs were like this one we'd have half of Songkhla running with us. Well we don't want that do we? Well do we? Ok, Ok so we do; and it'll undoubtedly get recycled when the hare-raiser gets called upon again at short notice, so don't get smart and memorize the route. Meanwhile future hares are advised:

• To keep the length below 5 kilometers
• Not to go above 104 meters
• To keep the total ascent less than 150 meters
• To arrange a massive thunderstorm just as we set out on the run.

Any problems?

...the sincerest form of flattery

A bit late in coming, but above is last week's run in glorious googledom; ...and above that is the run which preceded it by two weeks to which it bears, shall we say a passing resemblance. But let's take nothing away from last week's hares. Phuk and Sperminator who independently recce'd the run a couple of months back only to find that someone had snaffled much of their hard work in the meantime. Let's also say that by any account, last week's run was just a tad better than its predecessor, in fact if one ignores the in-trail on the road which forced the run to be dogless, it managed to considerably exceed it's forerunner, firstly by being half an hour shorter, and secondly by the inspired trick of finding a way over the top of the hill, cutting out all the crap that had rendered Egghead's earlier attempt such a shambles.

This just goes to prove that by the simple expedient of changing the run site and adding a few novel twists, runs that may be familiar can be turned into something novel and hugely enjoyable.

You're a winner!

Hi there lucky winner!

Yes you!

You have been selected as a lucky winner in our SH3 run#1561 lottery and will receive a share in the first prize of 1,000,000 Malawian Kwacha as long as you come to this week's run. Just turn up at the run and pay your normal registration fee and give the hare your personal bank account number, PIN number, E mail address and password, and your share of the 1,000,000 Kwacha first prize will be deposited in your account IMMEDIATELY! ( conditions may apply at the discretion of the promoter)

The Run details are:

SH3 run #1561, Saturday, May 7th 2011, 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Egghead

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for about 8k, then right for about 1k to the run site on the left.

Sunday's HH3 run is on Saturday, as it were. Sadly for them they have decided to hold their tri-annual outstation run on the same day as SH3 are giving away all that money, so they won't be able to share in the prize; nah nah na nah na! We don't care! Bugger off to Kao Men (doesn't that mean smelly?) Resort and see if we care!

But if you aren't going to the outstation run please do come to the SH3 run and help us give away Malawi's annual defence budget. There'll be all the usual attractions: Long and short runs (well the long run will be quite short anyway),a free beerif Stick Insect buys a round, cordon bleu food after the run if you bring it and all the fun of the circle. What more could you ask for? (Don't answer that question!)