Beaver's Excellent Punnakan Adventure

Good likeness huh? The distinguished receding hairline, the leery grin, the crazed bloodshot eyes, the buck teeth... Oh no that's the beaver!

But Beaver has been out scouting and a run which promises to appeal to the sensibilities of the running elite (who are they? Shouldn't they be handicapped in some way?) is promised. Details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1572, Saturday July 23rd, 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Beavershot

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the Old Hatyai road for 4.7k. Turn left for 8k then right at Wat Keow Kloy for 1.2k, then turn left and go 500m to the run site near the sala on the left.

Sunday's (July 24th, 4:30 p.m.) HH3 run is another Punnakan adventure, but is rather further from Wat Keow Kloy - about 8k further, in the vicinity of Gam Ling Reservoir. Follow the same misdirections as for Saturday, keep going down Punnakan and look for the sign on the left somewhere around the abattoir, before the Conference Center. The hare is Nicheow and there are rumors that there may be some kind of an on-on after chez Toyboy - but it's only a rumor at this stage.

Finally, don't forget that this is the last week before the outstation run at Wan Wen Resort in Satun, so if you haven't already booked, speak to Only a Yolk this weekend. Members are 400 Baht, guests are 1000 Baht, which includes accommodation in discretely companionable (i.e. you may have to share with someone else!) chalets, food, all the beer you could possibly want to drink, a run on Saturday and Kayaking on Sunday morning, with some raucous and distasteful entertainment planned for Saturday evening. A number of people are already planning a pre-binge warm-up on Friday for which accommodation etc. will be extra but not too much!) and directions to the resort will be distributed at this weekend's runs.

Wound-lickin' good!

Just what was needed after Saturday's pussy monster. 9k'ish for the long run and 5k for the short run laid live by the exhausted hare who was caught on several occasions by the pack, and who at one point had to have first aid rendered to him by front runners, Sagai and 4-wheel after he slipped down a bank and gashed his elbow.

The long run looked likely to claim two victims as well, as two almost-virgins wandered beyond the confines of the short run and 2 hours later had not been seen or heard of since. Happily they had done the sensible thing and when the paper ran out at the unbroken 3rd check, turned round and followed it homewards, being located and 'rescued' by Nicheow as the search parties were just being organised.

Sex Ao Ao alias Mongolian Fuckrat was home first in about 1h 13m but it was almost 2 hours before all the runners drifted in. Knackerwurst (a.k.a. I want my wife) meritoriously completed the short run in about one and a half hours accompanied by a team of nurses who mopped his brow as he sprang lightly across... etc. Only a Yolk, disguised as Moo Sahb, evaded being iced for a completely gratuitous short cut with Sexy Girl which had them scrambling down rocky cliffs instead of enjoying the verdant orchards on the descent. Praise for the run was muted, possibly because none of the beer stops materialised.

But next week it will all be different, as Beavershot and Nicheow respectively explore the verdant pastures of Poonakan from opposite ends on Saturday and Sunday. More details later in the week when the pain has become a distant throb.

Last call for hillwalk photos!

Yes, it's coming soon . . . the official 2011 Hillwalk Photo CD. This is your last chance to have your own shots immortalized on this soon-to-be classic disc. Contact Beavershot Productions a.s.a.p.!

Where pussies dare

Click on the image to LARGE it!

Who's going to set the monster next year? The pussies put in an early bid for consideration this afternoon with a run that put this years civilized monster, 3 runs back, to shame in the length department with this sanitized, de-F'd version clocking in at between 9.5 and 10k. The GPS-that-never-lies records that the hares put in 5 hours and 8 minutes in laying the run, of which less than 2 hours was spent resting. They went up 434 meters although only reaching a maximum elevation of 187 meters and the pack (or those members of it whose memory did not became hazy when confronted with the fact that they missed out the final hill - Sex Sprinter and Phuk!) devoted a minumum of 1 hour 45 minutes to negotiating the trail, and Buk Toy took considerably more than that!

Tomorrow's HH3 run is promised as being completely pussy-free and will consist of wide shady trails through softly undulating countryside with a single modest ascent up a small hill and a considerate descent through verdant orchards to a gentle trail home in time for tea. Comely maidens will be on hand to mop our mildly perspiring brows as we spring lightly across the forgiving turf and the run will boast at least 3 beer stops. Well, ok that last bit is a slight exaggeration, but the hare is promising a less demanding Sunday excursion than we enjoyed today!

Drifting Moon

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So now that you're enhanced

OK, you've just had your Phuk or other enhancement product, and you're ready to boogie. What do you do next? You put an ad in the newspaper, of course. Here's a splendid example from Phnom Penh's Bayon Pearnik.

Are you man enough for...

Just as we were feeling as if we needed a bit of a lift, along comes Phuk to help us get it on.

• All Natural
• Effects last 72 hours
• Maximum potency
• Works in just 45 minutes
• Can be taken with alcohol
• May cause bisexuality, whatever that is.

But can he deliver on all this hype? We shall see on Saturday at:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run # 1570, Satyrday July 9th, 2011: 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Phuk

Missederections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the new Yala road for 7k to the run site on the left.

Sunday's (July 10th 4:10 p.m.) HH3 run is being set by Moo Sahb who is actively seeking partners for a pleasurable laying experience, although the doggies will be in attendance as well to make sure that the boasted 72-hour-phuk-effect doesn't get in the way of things, as it were.

Probable run site is at the foot of Khao Ron: from Songkhla, take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k turn left for 6k then left for 5k and left into the Khao Ron road and bear left at the Y junction in 500m, then straight on for about 1k to the run site on the right. (From Hatyai turn right at the Nam Noi traffic lights and go 10.5 k, then turn into the Khao Ron road etc.)

On On On On On On On On On On On!

The happy ending demonstrated

Parental advisory: Explicit content!

For the benefit of the more innocent members of our community, here is a two-minute introduction to the art of the Happy Ending.

Coming soon: Locating and identifying the elusive chocolate starfish.

1569: Facts, just facts.

Long run: 5.9k:1hr 3mins. 360:5; F:5, X:1. Max Alt: 289m; total ascent 324m. Hares:1 + 3. Hounds:15 + 7.

Short run:2.75k: Hounds:16. BTG:5. Beer consumed: Zero ('cos it was illegal and we're all good law abiding citizens). Flying pigs: lots!

HH3 on election day

Oooops!

Officially: from the Ko Yo intersection take the Old Hatyai Road for 4.7k and turn left for 9k to the run site on the right.