Night of the living . . . yuck!

These are just a few from a quick edit that seemed to work as photos. The real blackmail material comes in a couple days . . . .

From the archives: Men in bras

Sadao Hash gets the take-it-off-put-it-on thing tragically wrong . . . .

Sadao bites the dust

Well, it's happened. Those heartless bastards at Yahoo have pulled the plug on Geocities, and the once glorious, award-winning* Sadao H3 website has gone down the drain with it. Hopefully Rotten & co. will launch a new and even better site. In the meantime we'll try to revisit a few Sadao Hash highlights here over the next couple weeks.

*For those too young and innocent to remember, Sadao H3 won the "Cool Hash Website of the Month" in November 2004, an actual international award. Though it was really more a testament to Conebrain's blarney than the site itself. He somehow convinced the judges that we were running through minefields, Muslim insurgency, hordes of cobras, etc. Well . . . weren't we?

Night of the Living Dead

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Vengeance is Mine!!

Well, the green-haired man delivered on his promise. Six+ hours of trail-laying, two hours of running it, one search and rescue mission, and somehow no tragedies, though not for lack of trying.

A technical analysis of the run will have to await someone who knows WTF we were (Egghead, that means you!). But let's mention the day's main achievement, apart from survival: naming Rudi, Mamy Poko's boy toy. We had two proposals, Rudi the Red-Nosed Rooter and Poko Porker. Try as we might, repeated votes kept coming out dead even. I can't ever recall this happening before. So the only choice was to combine the two. He's now Rudi the Red-Nosed Poko Porker, a name which he can proudly wear for the rest of his days. All proving that while individually we may have the intellect of Beavis and Butthead, together we have the wisdom of Solomon.

Revenge? Moi?

When asked if he had any comment about tomorrow's run, Yardo had this to say:














NO!

B there B4 4!

Here's how to make sure you're part of our run on Saturday rather than being left behind and becoming a sad, lonely beer truck guardian. (Of course that's not to say that all BTGs are sad and lonely. Some of them are drunk, fat, and happy.)

The trick is: simply leave for the hash exactly 30 minutes earlier than you normally do. (Gan Yao, 31 minutes for you.) Do this from now on till we tell you otherwise, around February. But especially do it this Saturday, because hare Yardo is out for revenge and would love nothing more than to strand some hapless hashers up there on the mountaintop in the dark. So we're circle-izing at exactly 4:00:00. And that's as determined by Knackerwurst, who is not a man to be trifled with, time-wise. On-on . . . on-time!

This week’s good news!

SH3 Run# 1480: Saturday 24th October 2009: 4:00 p.m.

Yes, you read it right 4:00 p.m. That is the minute after 3:59 p.m. and the one before 4:01 p.m. which coincidentally is precisely 29 minutes in advance of the time that last week’s run started and by an even stranger coincidence, is precisely the same time as we started the equivalent run last year.
To continue:

Hares: Yardstick…
Misdirections, and I quote, “From Ko Yor intersection go 4.7km & turn left. Go 10.3km and turn left again. Along the cement / dirt road for 2.2km and runsite in the rubber”
Oh and don’t forget, the run starts at 4:00 p.m., 1600 hours, 4 o’clock, 4-in-the-afternoon, four zero zero, no minutes past four, nought before four; you get the picture?

Sundays HH3 run…. Has been cancelled as Buk Toy, Sex Sprinter and Palm job as well as others of a Thai persuasion are heading off to red-shirt land for a bit of R’n R. But Union Hash are running at 4:00 p.m. (The same time as SH3 the previous day – wow! There’s a coincidence for you!) form the sala on the right about 5½ k down Poonakan road from Wat Keow Kloy (From the Ko Yo intersection go 4.7k and turn left then go 8k and turn right). Please come along and show some goodwill towards our errant grand-daughter who are currently GM-less, the incumbent having resigned last week so that he could “call his time his own” again. Pheu!

And don’t forget that next week’s SH3 run is the birthday ‘Night of the Living Dead’ bash and details of the run site will be released at this weekend’s SH3 run. You can also register at this week’s birthday run (which starts at 4:00 p.m., don’t forget) for 150 Baht or 300 Baht for guests etc. with kids at a very reasonable 100 Baht.

Finally advance notice that there will be a joint SH3 – KL Full Moon Hash weekend on the last weekend of November (27th – 29th) with a beerie sort of run on Friday with food after, which may or may not double as the next-but-one Full Moon run, plus our regular run on Saturday and a pay-as-you-go On! On! after if you’re into that sort of thing. More details as they’re worked out. Anyone got any ideas about where to arrange a good nosh for them on Saturday night, and even more to the point anyone willing to help out and organize it? Pheu!
On! On!

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Colorado

Below is the result of a writing assignment given by an English professor from the University of Colorado. A “tandem story” was to be written by two students, one male, one female. The story was to be compiled in alternating paragraphs via email, with CC’s to the professor. There was to be no communication between the writers aside from each successive email. The story would end when both participants agreed a successful conclusion had been achieved.

THE STORY:

(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gerry)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic, tea-drenched bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to GeoStation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)
He died almost immediately. But not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who ever had feelings for him. Soon afterward, Earth stopped pointless hostilities toward the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read online one morning. The news simultaneously excited and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no cell phones, no Internet to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at the beauty around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gerry)
Little did she know she had less than 10 seconds to live. The wimpy peaceniks who’d pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for hostile empires determined to destroy the human race. Just hours after the passage of the treaty, alien ships were on course for Earth with enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. Their lithium fusion missiles entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, was rocked by the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent geek.

(Gerry)
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other FUKING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm an air headed bimbo who reads too many romance novels!"

(Rebecca)
Asshole.

(Gerry)
Bitch!

(Rebecca)
FUCK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!

(Gerry)
In your dreams, ‘Ho. Go drink some more fucking tea.

(Rebecca)
I hate you. Don’t ever talk to me again.

(TEACHER)
A+ I really liked this one.

Run 1479: Revenge of the Pussies

Throughout the history of warfare, men have happily killed and maimed each other on the battlefield without any particularly hard feelings. When it was over, it was over. The job of going out the next morning and performing grisly acts of revenge on the remaining wounded soldiers of the losing side . . . well, that’s always been the job of the women.

This is the theory behind the pussy run.

Hares Crackwurst, Only a Yolk, Meals on Wheels, and Temporary Relief (but where was she?) fully lived up to this tradition yesterday, setting a run from 7.5km down the NYR that weakened the strong, humbled the mighty, and just about lost Yardstick forever.

Poor Yardo, operating with just half a face, apparently took a wrong turn somewhere near the top and found himself serious jungle-ized as the lights went out. Trying to navigate by occasional flashes of lightning, he finally realized that he’d rather face a night of hunger, thirst, and mosquitos than tumble down some cliff in the dark. So he had curled himself into fetal position to count down the 11 hours till dawn when, faintly in the distance, came a hash-like cry. It was Sex Sprinter, who along with Egghead had mounted a search and rescue mission, and once again proved himself as good at finding lost hashers as he is at finding paper.

Even for those of us who made it back before dark, this was one kick-ass run. The visiting Fog Horny rather ruefully made a comment to the effect that “parts of that were a little dodgy”. Egghead, who provided technical assistance to the hares, had made the mistake of doing an ambitious birthday run recce the day before and was in sad shape even by the halfway point. Rotten Johnny was but a shadow of his usual overachieving self, and as for Beavershot, well, suffice to say that he could have picked a more gentle re-introduction to Songkhla hashing after seven weeks of soft life on the road.

Looking forward to getting a break next week? Dream on. It won’t be a Yardstick Memorial Run after all, but a Yardstick Revenge Run, lovingly plotted by GPS to show us all how much he enjoyed his adventure yesterday.

A beaver for your beaver

Want to give something special to a girlfriend, favorite bar girl, other loved one, or even a wife? Look no further than this beautiful classical Chinese-motif beaver "semi-permanent" tattoo. Available next to Hua Hin train station, just B3600.

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Pussy run alert

Expect no mercy this Saturday! It's a pussy run. Details are:

SH3 Run #1479, Saturday 17th October 2009:
4:30 p.m.

Hares: Crackwurst, Only a Yolk,
Meals on Wheels and Temporary Relief

Misdirections: From The Ko Yo Intersection take the new Yala road for about 7.5k and turn into the run site on the right.

Sunday's HH3 run is being set by Sex Printer from a secret location somewhere in Pru Toh. Take the old Hatyai road for 10k and turn left then go about 3k and look for a sign on the right. Run starts when Off T gets there which is usually within an elephants whisker of 4:00 p.m.
On! On!

Winter time

Right . . . time for winter time. Let's aim for a 4 pm. start from Saturday after next, 24 Oct. And with any luck we'll achieve it by late November or so . . . .

From the archives: Moped on the beach

Mr. Moped at a run on the beach at Haatkaew, c. 2002, along with Bitch on the Back v. 1.0. (Version 2.0 could be identified by her Japanese schoolgirl uniform.)

Hang on guys we missed a bit!

SH3 Runs 1477 and 1478, 3rd and 10th October
and Hatyai H3 run 457, 4th October 2009



There's no doubt about it! As you can clearly see, we missed the little bit between the 1477 short run (light blue) and the 1478 long run (red) just before they hit the 1477 long run (dark blue). The HH3 run (yellow) doesn't touch it at all. But other than that we seem to have comprehensively covered that bit of country.
Actually, it just goes to show that even though you run a bit of hill 3 times in eight days you hardly scratch the surface of all that is out there. The whole area bounded by the four runs together is barely 3 square kilometers and there must be miles of tracks in there that we didn't use (excluding Gan Yao who probably covered most of them in his relentless pursuit of the ultimate short cut).
SH3:1477 was a live-Egg long run with a substantial short run laid based on a single recce by Only a Yolk, who eschewing all modern aids (compass, red markers, GPS, evolution etc.) boldly set out on her own at 9:00 a.m. on Saturday morning to lay the trail, and was within a whisker of proving that the traditional way is best, before losing her sense of direction and blundering off into the jungle strewing shreddie in all directions, eventually happening upon the only know misanthropes in the south of Thailand who having declined to give her directions back to the run site, accused her of stealing rubber and demanded to inspect her bag of g'dat before allowing her on her way, to be rescued at about 12:30 by her own personal knight in shining armour, summoned thence by the only bit of modern equipment at her disposal, viz her mobile phone.
For the record, the live hare on the long run marginally bested the pack, returning to the run site in 1 hour and five minutes, 5 minutes ahead of the somewhat stunned short runners who hadn't been expecting an almost 4k run, and 22 minutes ahead of the long runners who had set off a couple of minutes before 4:30, but still lost about 9 minutes on a fairly vertical ascent of the biggest hill in the area. No killer checks this time, but the cumulative effect of stopping and searching every 600 meters or so was enough to see the hare home and dry before the pack had started the great descent.
Knackerwurst presided at the circle and R2D2 butled. Pig Porker was a returning runner, Yardstick was unjusty accused of not calling on and declined to get his bum wet, but Only a Yolk consented to being iced for bringing the Hash into disrepute.
The following day the early arrivals at the HH3 runsite just round the corner, were greeted by the sight of Off T disappearing into the jungle with a bag of shreddie over his shoulder. Advertised hare, Porky Sex err... Sexy Pig announced that since his GPS had no batteries and he had injured his leg, he had been unable to set the run and Off T had bravely consented to stand in and was doing a live hare. This sent the pack into a frenzy and the run was only 5 minutes late in starting, giving the hare a good 35 minutes start. Any real hope of catching him was dashed by a first check which must have taken 10 minutes to break and the complexity of which should have indicated that it was unlikely to have been laid by someone setting a run in fear of being caught and debagged. Nevertheless we ploughed on at a fair old rate and were soon into the same bit of country as most of us had run the day before, running along part of the long run trail, almost crossing it again, then after a quick detour around the hill actually crossing it at the top of the Beaverchute (shoot?) before plunging back down to the run site to be greeted by the sight of Off T looking remarkably fresh and significantly in-breath, and in hysterics to boot as he admitted that the run had in fact been laid several hours before. As Porky Sex said, it had been a 'lie hare' run! Sage heads were shaken in disbelief, not so much at the fact that we had mostly all fallen for the joke, but that the run had been little short of brilliant.
Finally in this omnibus account of our recent doings, Sex Sprinter and Buk Toy in the latest episode of their fatally doomed attempt to set more runs than anyone else this year (Heh! Heh! Heh!) chose a run site for SH3:1478 half way up the big track up the same hill, where we all squeezed in (or we would have done had there been enough of us to get into a squeeze) and wondered how the hares were going to avoid all the paper strewn around during the last weekend. The answer was that they didn't; they just got on with laying their own run which suffered not one iota for the fact that it criss-crossed all three of the other runs reported on herein.
Rotten presided at the circle, Egghead butled: Freelance returned and Frank out of Yardstick was a new runner; Egghead sinned and Jackie was named Kan Kai, continuing his family's proud tradition of ball-related names.
The circle ended in the dark suggesting that a shift to a 4:00 p.m. start is probably overdue. Not that that is going to help our numbers which show no sign of recovering above the steady thirty-something who are currently turning out. Lots of good reasons why the absentees are absenting themselves but that doesn't stop it feeling a bit lonesome on the trail at the moment! Perhaps they're just waiting for the birthday run to come back! Hope so.
Egg

Tutti Fruity hits the big 6-0

Thanks to Ram It In and Tutti Fruity for last night's party, and a belated happy birthday to Tutti Fruity. For those who didn't make it: whizzes on ya! But here are a couple of images from the increasingly useful Egg-phone:

Stick Insect gets some tips
on the finer points of Karaoke before
pulling the plugs on the sound system

Dirk, mate! We found yer eskie!

Runz 'n' hareline

This week’s SH3 run details are:

Run #1478, Saturday October 10th 2009

Hare: Sex Sprinter












Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 6k then turn left and go for about 2k and start looking for the hash sign on the right.

Sunday’s HH3 run is being set by his GM’ness, Scud and is at Ban Ta Jin (From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 7.5k and turn left, then go about 1 - 2 k and look for the hash sign on the right).










Scud with clothes on:
Doesn't he look like Palm Job?

Shock news! SH3 has an on-going hareline for the rest of the year, which reads:

10th October: Sex Sprinter
17th October: err…
24th October: Yardstick
31st October: (SH3 birthday run) Beaver, Egg, Only a Yolk and Hand Job
7th November: Egghead and Only a Yolk
14th November:* R2D2 and Phuk
21st November:*‘The Gang of 7’ (the Wursts and the Cock-Reliefs including the canine crew)
28th November: Joint run with KL Full Moon: err….
5th December: Solong and Safe Sex
12th December: Gan Yao
19th Decemeber: Egghead and Only a Yolk
26th December: mystery hares TBA

*To be confirmed as one or more of the Cock-Reliefs may be unavailable on their designated date.

From the archives: Prem's place

April 2006, and notice a few faces we see rarely if ever these days: Last Lover, Conebrain, and Phrik Farang. But the geezer and the kid are still with us!