Today's Hatyai run

Well it's a bit late but in case anyone is still wondering where today's HH3 run is, hare Robocop says go to the Nam Noi traffic lights (10km down the OHR from the Kaw Yaw intersection) and turn right (if you're coming from Songkhla). He says the runsite will be just 200m or so down that road, which sounds kind of strange but then Robocop is pretty strange himself. On-on!

Editorial: Another outrage of justice

As far as The Online Scum is concerned, there was only blemish upon yesterday’s otherwise superb run by Yardstick and Short Screw: the brutal and unjustified icing of a respected senior hasher who also happens to be the publisher of this organ.

 The incident had its roots in this story, in which a Scum correspondent reported finding Egghead “lurking in front of a seedy Hatyai massage parlor” the day before, i.e. December 22, 2011. It was accompanied by this photo and caption:
 

A re-creation of the shocking scene witnessed by a TOS reporter in downtown Hatyai yesterday afternoon.

Note that there was no reference to the Pink Lady. Indeed, a map included with the story showed that said massage parlor was clearly located on Thanon Thamnunwitthi in downtown Hatyai. The photo was clearly labeled as a “re-creation”, a common and accepted technique used by many respectable news media.

 Egghead’s reaction at the time was curious. On the one hand he claimed that Rotary Wanker (whom he described as “a man of impeccable character”) would provide an alibi for him, if not for the 22nd itself then for “at least a couple days later”. On the other, he tacitly admitted that he had been loitering outside said massage parlor (“waiting for … the transubstantiation of Peppered Pussy into the Virgin bleedin’ Mary”), and himself provided photographic evidence of the result of that "wait".

Then yesterday Rotary Wanker himself appeared at the hash and, far from providing an alibi, reported that he had seen Egghead at Christin, the notorious knocking shop massage parlor in Phuket. 

We can thus only conclude that sometime within a day or two of his adventures in Hatyai, Egghead drove the almost 500km to Phuket and carried on his cycle of excess at Christin. Perhaps he mistook the name for “Christian” and assumed it was a church? I think not.

So why then the shocking behavior yesterday toward the respected senior etc. by now-GM Egghead and his toady, Short-Time Acting GM Stick Insect? Is this the start of yet another organized assault on truth in the media? Will all our freedoms soon be crushed by these jackbooted thugs?

A recent ad for Christin. Note incontrovertible evidence of Egghead's patronage.

Free Manning! Reprieve Snowden! And refuse to allow the Eggafi clique to muzzle the clarion voice of The Online Scum!

P.S. As for that sneaky little Short Screw who dumped a large bucket of ice water over me, I’ll fix him in good time.   

Where did we go (wrong) yesterday?

The length of the run was a mere 6.2kms (honestly, even if it didn't feel like it) and the total ascent only 313 metres. If you were lucky enough to go down all the false trails and check backs you would have done about 7.2kms and a total up of about 430 metres, for the same price.

With 12 hounds and 2 hares on the long run, and with everyone back in about 1.5 hours, we were lucky enough not to have to spend half the night out searching this week, and instead do what we do best, drinking, eating and running, in that order.

The short run wasn't quite as successful, with the short runners unable to find paper at the second check and having to backtrack to the runsite along the concrete road.

Anyone For Icecream?

 

This is the sort of unsolicited information you can get from reading the comic section of the Bangkok Post, the sort of information you didn't really want or need. 

 

For the record, this week's run was to be known as The Revenge on Beaver Run, but this was carefully edited out by the Scum chief editor for reasons known only to himself. His abbreviated run misdirections have also been kindly restored to the verbose version by our refurbished linguist, Egghead, and are reprinted here to help you navigate to the runsite.

 

From Tha Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala Road for 16k and turn right for 3.5k then left just after the big tree at Sai Khao and follow hash signs for 1.7k to the runsite. If you are coming from Hatyai, turn right at the Nam Noi traffic lights and go 12k then turn right just before the big tree for 1.7k... etc

 

Please encourage any Hatyai Hashers to come and help bolster our small contingent of runners expected this week, and if necessary press gang any wayward Farangs or Thais you may find.

 

A new mutant hare: YardScrewShortStick

So it appears Saturday's run will be set by a remarkable creature with two heads and four legs, i.e. not one but two of our rare and valued long runners. Ah well, better in Songkhla than Hatyai, where they would have to be known as Sex of the Inchdick. Yardo, in his precise way, has provided both small- and large-scale maps to the runsite, but veteran hashers will need just two words: "Big Tree". The lead hare claims that the run will not be "particularly long or hard" which sounds to us like an old story about the actress and the bishop, but take it for what you think it's worth.

SH3 Run #1679, 4:30 pm., Saturday, 17 August. As this is an A-to-B run, BE ON TIME if you expect transport to the start of the run.

Hares: Yardstick and Short Screw

Misdirections: Take the blah-blah-blah and turn left at the Big Tree. Follow the signs or if no signs then your intuition through the village 1.7km to the runsite on the concrete road leading up the hill.

Building a better Egghead

Ah yes, I'd forgotten . . . this is the week that our GM and supreme misdirectionist Egghead goes into hospital for some improvements to his groin. Assuming he'll still be tripping away on propofol, please hares, kindly send your misdirections around to the usual mailing list and I'll post them here. Meanwhile, a possible diagnosis . . . .

1678: Losing Festering Willy

Ok, so it doesn't quite have the Disneyesque ring of Finding Nemo, but there was definitely something epic about yesterday's Perky/Egghead run with a hint of farce to top off the evening which ended shortly before 9:00 p.m when the final search party made its way back to the runsite and the last of the beer was drunk.
It had all begun so promisingly with small but meaningful packs heading off onto both the short and long runs the latter swept by both hares, so nobody should have been left behind. But as Perky brought home Safe Sex whose brief encounter the previous week with a snake had left her with a stitched up foot, it became apparent that Festering Willy who had last been seen by Only a Yolk as she embarked on a short cut at the 4th 360 (the same one that had earlier been pioneered by Sex Sprinter, Yardstick and Short Screw!) had wandered off the trail.
Given that at the point he was last seen, the nearest road was on the Nern Pichet side of the hill, search parties were despatched up the hill and also by truck to try to locate what was reported to be a dehydrated, exhausted and disoriented runner who had earlier been heard to complain that he couldn't feel his legs. In fact in all probability, FW had come within a few hundred meters of the runsite but had then lost the trail somewhere around the final 360, hitting Poonakan beyond the runsite and turning left instead of right.
From there he had eventually made his way to Prince of Songkhla University, about 5k distant, which must have been an interesting experience given that this is Mor Or Fair week and the place must have been heaving with people. Anyway, all's well that ends well, and Dad, Spotted Dick was eventually able to confirm that FW had managed to explain his predicament to some saintly person and was being ferried back to Songkhla.
For the record, the long run was 5.7k, maximum elevation 204m, total ascent 322m and the first runners arrived in 1hr 6mins. The short run was 2.7k and got up to 147m. An attempt at a circle was made at the conclusion of the evening at which T shirts were given to Spotted Dick (300 runs), Peppered Pussy (550 runs) and Perky, Hip Hop and Rock and Roll (50 runs). In the general air of relief and bonhomie, the sinners were pardonned and the hares didn't get wet as the beer truck had by that time departed.
Next week, Yardstick will be entertaining us somewhere around the big tree at Sai Kao, Beavershot should rejoin the fold and the cube may get an airing as the GM will be convalescing. Can someone else update the blog please?

Perky? Perky? Who the f*** is Perky?

When ex GM, Smeghead this week asked "Who are the hares?" he could be forgiven for not immediately connecting the name to the face. In fact extensive research by the TOS investigative team has only been able to discover one photograph of this week's hare, lurking in the background between Stick Insect and Beavershot in a shot from HH3 back in February next to putative hare Innuendo who has educational commitments on lay-day so has dropped out of the posse.
For Smegger's information Perky, who has already figured as a hare in a number of previous combinations reached the milestone of his 50th run last Saturday, somewhat tardily having boycotted SH3 for many years after receiving a rather inappropriate hash name back in 2002 at the hands of none other than Smeghead!
Hmm...
Anyway with Inuendo out of the frame, technical advisor, Egghead has stepped up to fill the vacancy and the full details are now:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1678, Saturday August 10th 2013: 4.30 p.m.
Hares: Perky and Egghead
Misdirections: from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k then right (at Wat Keow Kloy into Poonakan Road) for 4k to the run site on the left.

This week's HH3 outing is courtesy of Robocop and will be from the flat bit on the edge of the swamp near the buffalo enclosure. Gottit? No? Ok: from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 10k and turn right at the Nam Noi traffic lights for less than 1k and turn left at the hash sign then follow the road for about 1.5k to the run site on ....the flat bit on the edge of the swamp near the buffalo enclosure!
Now you geddit!

The back passage

Click on the image to make it BIG!

Progress on the up-grading of the main road into Borogam seems to have stalled, so although Egg Towers is still accessible via the normal route (indicated above by a red dashed line: OHR 4k, Left 5.2k, right and follow your nose) it is probably sensible to give the directions for Sunday's HH3 run and to deploy the signage using the back route which is actually shorter and takes in some fine country that we normally end up running!
Directions for those who find the literalistic map above hard to follow: From the Traffic lights at Kuan Hin on the old Hatyai road (4k West of the Ko Yo intersection, 13k East of the Ko Hong intersection) turn left (from Songkhla) or right (from Hatyai) and go 1.5k. Turn right and go 2.5k then turn left at the hash sign and follow the track for 1.5k to the parking area and the run site on the right.

The step-daughter from.... heaven?

Remember? The step-daughter from hell; so lacking in human qualities that she got named 'Zombie'; ...at Sadao H3 for chrissakes; where human life as we know it, or would like to think we know it is devoid.. or of which it is devoid... anyway, where there isn't a lot of normal human life around - you get the picture.
So what happened?
Well, what happened is that she turned into a human being! And not just any old human being, but one that has made a step-dad proud ... of what I am not sure as all he did was stand back and let her get on with it.
And this weekend she will be celebrating her birthday, and Mum and Step-dad along with lil' sis' will be entertaining HH3 in her honor on Sunday and buying a few beers at SH3 on Saturday to mark her twenty somethingth birthday (she says sixth but hmm...).
So please do join us on one or both runs to celebrate Yolk's Poke/Sex Phone's 28th (ooops!) birthday.
Details are:
SH3 run #1677 Saturday August 3rd, 2013, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Sex Sprinter and Buk Toy
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 10k and turn left at the Nam Noi traffic lights then follow the road for 1.5k to the run site on the right near the dam.

HH3 run #(and we're guessing here)646  Sunday August 4th, 2013, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: Khai Jeow, Moo Sahb, Peppered Pussy and Sex Phone
Misdirections: There may be a change from the usual route as there are road improvements taking place on the main road into Borogam Village which may make access that way difficult, so there will be an update by Saturday on the best way to get to Egg Towers. But they will undoubtedly start: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for... so if in doubt do that then follow the signs!