2010 stats redux

Into the unknown

Like a flashback from 11 (or was it 10?) years ago, there was some debate at the Full Moon run the other night about whether tomorrow, 1 January 2011, marks the start of a new decade or not. Taking the nay side was Softcock, who quite reasonably maintained that the first year of the Christian era should have been Year 0. Logically it probably should have been, but unfortunately:

1) It wasn't.

2) Even if they'd wanted it to be, they didn't have a zero

Anyhow 1/1/2011 has the look of a new decade to me, so here are a few thoughts on the last one and the new one to come.

Cast your mind back exactly ten years, to New Year's Day 2001, and you may remember a very different Songkhla Hash. Well I don't, because I didn't even start running here till six months after that, but I think we can safely say that:

• We were a much larger hash, with a steady stream of new runners, returnees, and visitors.

• We had many more active hares, and few if any of them set (or needed to set) more than a handful of runs per year.

• We still had a real hash bar, the late lamented Parlang, and regularly practiced that grand Hash tradition of the on-after.

• We were generating new breakaway hashes. Our first offspring, the Hatyai [Sunday] Hash, was already in the process of establishing itself, to be followed a couple years later by a second one, the lively little bastard known as Sadao H3.

In short, we were a big, active group still pretty much in the mold of the classic 1980s and 90s' SE Asian international hashes, as still found today in places like KL, Singapore, and Phnom Penh.

Well, we're not that anymore. We're much smaller, we get disappointingly few new runners and visitors, we're largely dependent on just four or five superhares, and for all purposes we've become reunited with what remains of Hatyai Hash. (And Sadao Hash? Who knows, but let's hope it carries on in some form, if only once or twice per year.) On the other hand, consider the upside:

• We may be small but we're more dedicated than ever. As you'll see below, almost two dozen people came to 40 runs or more this past year. Whatever the weather, wherever the runsite, whatever the reputation of the hare, we can always count on the hardcore turning up and going out.

• Ditto with our hares. They're fewer in number but they're there when we need them. And one result of fewer people setting more runs is that they're now generally far more experienced and skilled than the average hare a decade ago. Together with GPS, that means a better standard of runs (uh . . . usually). In fact I can't remember a year more filled with good to great runs than this past one.

• We may seldom meet up anywhere after runs, but we now bring our dinner party with us, every single run. No one seems to know of any other hash anywhere that has food of the quality and quantity that we do. We should be hugely grateful for the generosity of our food providers.

• Songkhla-Hatyai have in effect become a single hash offering up two good runs every weekend. Many of us always run both whenever we can, and the styles of the runs and the circles are just different enough to keep things interesting. Plus our partnership has led to some really good extra-hash activities, notably the treks up Khao Luang (2008) and Khao Jet Yawd (2010), a revival in outstation runs, and even a few sleepover hashes close to home.

So it seems that for each thing we've lost, we've gained something else. Even the new roads that have cut into our running country have opened access to new areas and runsites. Really the only big question for the coming years is whether we can maintain enough critical mass to carry on at this level. Oh, and how long we can continue to sneer at the physical limits of geezerhood. Ten years ago most of us were in our 40s (OK, late 40s, but still). By the end of the decade that begins tomorrow most of us will be pushing 70. The only rational response? Ignore the calendar, continue the stupidity, and redouble our efforts to grow old disgracefully.

Now the drumroll please . . . courtesy of Egghead, the godhead of all Songkhla/Hatyai hash data, here are stats on the top SH3 runners and hares in 2010 (dogs excluded, sorry). No big surprises, though we would note that Stick Insect, with more runs than anyone else including even the Beer Truck Driver, clearly wins this year's "Get A Life" honors. In addition to the usual suspects, we also note the strong haring performance of R2D2 and The Pussies, the latter of whom continued to go well above and beyond the call of duty in the food arena as well. And is it possible that Knob Goblin has run with us only 69 times, and has set just 3 Songkhla runs? It seems far more traumatic than that. (Apologies for the crap formatting -- if this site does columns I certainly can't figure them out.)

Runner -- Runs (2010/Lifetime)

Stick Insect 51 926
Buk Toy 50 772
Egghead 50 548
B. T. Driver 50 362
Only a Yolk 49 509
Peppered Pussy 49 434
Nosin 46 944
Crackwurst 46 701
City Tits 45 1002
Knackerwurst 45 936
Meals on Wheels 45 264
Sex Sprinter 45 195
R2D2 44 193
Temporary Relief 44 164
Tutee Fruity 43 326
Chao Ngor 42 544
Solong 41 777
Ram It In 41 444
Safe Sex 41 356
After Ours 40 642
Softcock 40 311
Beavershot 36 292
Knob Goblin 33 69
Palm Job 31 423
Phone Sex 31 97
Self Pumper 30 458
Yardstick 30 342

Hare -- Lays (2010/Lifetime)

Egghead 16 131
Only a Yolk 15 93
Sex Sprinter 9 31
Buk Toy 8 63
Beavershot 7 55
R2D2 6 15
Hand Job 6 8
Stick Insect 5 68
Crackwurst 5 53
Meals on Wheels 5 13
Peppered Pussy 4 35
After Ours 4 23
Temporary Relief 3 12
Tutee Fruity 3 28
Knob Goblin 3 3
Yardstick 3 23
Roadrunner 3 30
Khii Leum 3 22

1 lay each in 2010: Ram It In, Softcock, Palm Job, Gaseous Clay, Gan Yao, Phuk, Schmuckme Witherspoon, Dung Beetle, Rotten Johnny, Last Lover, Wet Spot, Smeghead, Pig Porker, Yolk's Polk

Kurt Vonnegut in one of his books claimed to distill the ultimate wisdom about life into three words: "It goes on." For Songkhla Hash, past, present, and future, it's even simpler: On on!

New Year's Beaver

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From the archives: Gone but not forgotten

A few photos that turned up in this morning's yearend house-cleaning. All from Sadao Run #1, March 2nd, 2003.

Christmas Day 2010 in glorious technicolor!

Long run in red, short run in yellow. 6.8k and 4.2k respectively. 52 minutes for Sex Sprinter with the short runners, and the sick lame and lazy from the long run straggling in around the hour mark.

But the good news is that we ate all the turkey, and although there is still some beer to be dealt with, the residue of the chickens and the cow were polished off today at Hatyai Hash, so anyone who went to both runs needn't eat or drink for a week!

Sadly no image of the bewilderingly good HH3 run today as Off T failed to deliver up the GPS with the track on it, but it may follow later. However, Sex (S)Printer is now GM of Hatyai Hash after a unanimous vote.

Long live the GM! (and Happy New Year to Cesspool who may be dropping in about now)

Full Moon Pussy and the Stuffed Turkeys

A big week in prospect, as in we're all going to be bigger by the end of it.

First up, tomorrow, Tuesday, 21st December there's a Full Moon H3 run which is being set by Only a Yolk and After Ours as well as quite possibly other members of the pussy-pack.The run site will be at Prem's Place and the run should start at 7:00 p.m. Usual stuff applies: Bring some beer of you want, although the hash-mistress-who-must-be-obeyed will be dispensing Full Moon ale at 3 cans for 100 Baht. Bring some food if you feel like eating something after the run and bring a handlight to avoid getting lost.

Then on Saturday, SH3's Christmas day run will start one hour earlier than normal at 3:00 p.m. and Christmas dinner, featuring turkey, chicken, roast beef, (for those who aren't into fowl) and a full range of festive fare including Softie and Temp's famous Olde English Christmas pudding, will be served as soon as we get back to the run site at about 4:00 p.m.

Details are:

SH3 run # 1542, December 25th 2010, 3:00 p.m.

Hares: Egghead, Only a Yolk and Peppered Pussy

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 5.2k, then right through the temple arch and follow the signs to the run site.

There'll be some stuff for the kids as well so please bring the whole family along. Beer will be on sale from the beer truck as usual but please bring along some booze as well so that we can carry on into the night after the beer truck has departed for safer places. And speaking of the beer truck, don't forget that it will leave the Hot Bread Shop at 2:00 p.m. to accommodate the early start.

And after all that over-indulgence on Saturday, what are you going to need on Boxing Day? You're right! Another run! And Hatyai H3 will be happy to oblige. The run site is at the Or Bor Tor at Prutoh/Tungyai (from Ko Yo take the old Hatyai road for 10k and turn left for 3.5k then right for 500m). The run should start as soon after 4:00 p.m. as can be expected and the hare is Porky Sex.

1541: A proud tradition upheld

This afternoon, SH3 upheld a proud tradition of having run every Saturday for the last 29 and a bit years except when the run was cancelled, which is what usually happens when HH3 put on an outstation run. But today SH3 ran while most of us, it appears, went to Phattalung.

Did we have a good time? Of course we did, even though the whinge brothers complained and bitched round the whole run and the rain didn't let up until we hit the top of the hill, rendering the under-foot conditions, soft to shitty. Not sure of the distance: 6.7k was what the handpiece recorded but later analysis suggests it was closer to 5k. But it took the pack of 5 plus 4 dogs an hour and twenty to complete and thanks to Phuk for guiding us round the sometimes rather sparse paper. Thanks too to the Softie family for organising it all and then buggering off before we could ice them Never mind, we'll get them next week!

Instation or outstation

Two runs this weekend. The trouble is they both take place on the same day at about the same time but about 80k apart!

If you are not going to HH3's outstation run then you are in good company because a number of people can't make it; so SH3 will be running as normal and details of the run are:

SH3 run #1541; Saturday 18th December 2010: 4:00 p.m.
Hares: Softcock, Temporary Relief, Phuk, Softdog, Korean Barbecue, Illegal Beagle
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the new Hatyai road for 8k and turn left for 1.2k then left again for 500 meters to the run site.

If you are going to HH3's New Year outstation run, it is at the Klong Pa Bon reservoir in Phattalung province. Follow the map above: head North from the end of the New Hatyai road for 43.6k, turn left at the Pa Bon Intersection and follow the road for 10.7k, then turn left for 2.9k then follow the right fork for 3.5k. You need to be there by 3:00 p.m. and you would be well advised to take a tent, although there is some more permanent accomodation available about 1k away from the main run site at an additional cost of 400 Baht. Otherwise, regular runners pay 100 Baht and guests 300 Baht, with the run, food and beer all thrown in.

Finally, all being well there should be a Full Moon H3 run next week and Tuesday (December 21st) is the suggested day. So far there are no suggested hares and no suggested run site, so if you feel like suggesting either then please let the GM'ette (Only a Yolk) know on Saturday or any other day that is convenient.

1540: a symphony in concrete

Subtle it wasn't!

Like short time upstairs at the Cosmos, run 1540 got straight down to the business in hand; went up as far as it was possible to go in that locality (which for the record was 279 meters) then having got all the macho stuff out of the way came down by the most direct route possible before spending 20 minutes of fun running along the bottom of the hill.

But as a prelude to celebrating City Tits' 1000th run it did the biz. And then celebrate we did with copious free food and beer and a couple of bottles of the hard stuff as well. At the end of the afternoon there were a lot of replete happy hashers and the odd replete and happy dog as well, as the SH3 canines and some of the local mutts to boot got in on the act and enjoyed the bonanza.

Thanks to City Tits for her generous sponsorship and thanks to R2D2 and Kii Leum for the sore ankles!

Pigloid: A baby portrait

1000 congratulations

Details of runs this week are patchy but:

SH3 run #1540 Saturday December 11th; 4:00 p.m.

Hares : R2D2 and Kii Leum

Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 5.5 k and turn right towards Wat Cham Uthit. Follow the road for about 1k and look for signs/paper to the run site.

Now wasn't there something else?

Oh yes; it will be

City Tits 1000th run!

Hatyai H3 on Sunday will be set by Sofar and Ouab Im. No details of the location as yet but that will all become clear on Saturday.

Post-pussy-penance

Yes, it was back to reality after our brief trip into pussy heaven on Saturday, as the rain resumed and Kai Jeow attempted to prove you can squeeze 10k of running into 6.7k and still get back before dark.

6.7k? That's all it was, and but for the forced change of run-site, it would have only been 6k, after the hare thoughtfully went out and relaid the in-trail during the run to avoid the 3k loop that somehow got laid in the morning. But on the positive side both Sex Printer and Nichaow were sufficiently misled to come in off paper and Off T and Big Foot both stayed on the paper and didn't need to be rescued by the hare, as the hare was there to guide them home while they could still just about see the trees for the wood.

Shame about the run site though. Sai Kao Resort is a reasonable alternative but we need to keep them sweet as there really aren't a lot of other run-sites in that neck of the woods. Perhaps we might all try to use their services. Now exactly what services is it they offer?

Pussy-whip it good!

Mee-ow! 7.7k horizontally, 430 meters of upward mobility and a maximum elevation of 176 meters. The thick end of an hour and a half for Foo-Foo to run it and a whacking 4 3/4 hours for the pussies and their canine cohorts to set it (OK, so only 2 3/4 hours of that was actually spent moving, but, hey a girl needs a rest now and then!)

But this afternoon's outing has only confirmed that these days our pussy runs are among the best runs we get set, and full credit to After Hours, Crackwurst, Only a Yolk and Meals on Wheels for a great afternoon's running, and particularly to Only a Yolk who not only guided the girls round with the new PGS (Pussy Guidance System) but then with barely an hour's break, swept the long run and guided no less than 4 of the pack safely home who otherwise might still be trying to break the last check.

On! On! to kinder gentler things at HH3 tomorrow when we promise there will be no pussies involved!

HH3 New Year's Outstation Run/Party

(But do we really have to wait a year for it?)

Pussy heaven

Well you guys may be getting a pussy run, but here in Japan we've got real pussy . . . soft, furry, young, and curious. Meow!

For the second time in living memory there has been a late change of runsite, and the pussies will now be doing their stuff at:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run # 1539; Saturday December 4th 2010: 4:00 p.m.

Hare-ettes: Crackwurst, Only a Yolk and Meals on Wheels

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the new Yala road for 3.5k to the run site on the left.

Sunday's HH3 run will be from just across the road from last week's HH3 run. Correct misdirections are:

From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn LEFT for 6k then left for 4.2k to the run site on the right. Hare is Kai Jeow, for whom, coincidentally this will be his 200th lay (but don't hold your breath for a T shirt!)

Finally there will be a catering meeting at the Hot Bead Shop on Friday evening (3rd December) commencing at around 6:30 p.m. when plans will be laid for the Hash Christmas dinner on 25th December. So if you feel like stuffing a turkey or even pulling a cracker or two, then drop by and offer your help or advice.