The Online Scum

Hatyai H3 directions

2012-01-27T18:12:00.002+07:00

Or: from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k turn left for 8k turn right at Wat Khow Kloy for 5k, turn left and go 1.5k and look for the living monk.

Pussy postponed

2012-01-27T13:14:00.000+07:00

Recce'ing pussy style

This week's SH3 run is the postponed-pussy run from 2 weeks back and takes place from a run site in the middle of nowhere on the other side of the new Yala road. Full details are:
Songkhla Hash Harriers' run # 1599 Saturday 28th January 2012, 4:00 p.m.
Hares: Pussies and doggies
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the new Yala road for 3.3k and turn right along the track for about 300 meters to the run site located around a fork in the road.

The following week will be run #1600. Attempts by the rump of the committee who were unable to avoid meeting in Daeng's Bar last week to work out what we would do to celebrate, resulted in some positive apathy being expressed the following day by the masses as to the whole idea of another party so that idea seems to have been shelved. However the possibility remains open of some kind of an on-after next weekend so anyone with any good ideas speak up on Saturday and you will be placed in charge of organizing the whole venture.

Also up for grabs is the planning for the putatitive trip to KL later this year. Everyone seems to have different ideas at the moment so it needs someone with a bit of firm leadership to take the reins of command and tell us all what to do. Dogs need not apply as they are harram in Malaysia.

HH3 have not communicated any details about where we will be running on Sunday, but no doubt that will be announced on Saturday. Also up-coming is the next full moon which hits the skies on Tuesday, 7th February. We ought to run this month as we missed out in January Any volunteers to set a run?

Kuala Lumpur '12

2012-01-22T12:47:00.002+07:00

The idea of a SongkhlaHash visit to KL next year has been mooted as an alternative to doing anotherfull-blown hill walk this year. The idea would be to try to run with both BatuHash as well as KL Full Moon Hash as over the years they have probably been ourmost regular visitors. March or April have been suggested as being a good timewith the walk bit of the trip being in the Cameron Highlands.

I’ve been looking atthe Batu and KL Full Moon web sites and Batu Hash run on Wednsday (evenings)and KL Full Moon run on the closest Sunday to the full moon, so in March andApril, their runs are on the 11^th March and 8^th April.

If we were going totry to take in both runs there would be two options, either traveling down fromSongkhla very early on Sunday to hit the KLFM run first, then going to theCameron Highlands for some walking on Monday and Tuesday, then returning to KLon Wednesday for the Batu run and returning to Songkhla on Thursday. That wouldbe a 5 day trip. The alternative would be a 6 day trip, travelling down onWednesday for the Batu run, spending 3 days in the Camerons then doing KLFM onSunday and returning to Songkhla on Monday.

If we opted for the 5day trip that would mean either March 11^th-15^th or April8^th-12^th (which would mean we would get back right ontime for our Songkran run the following day).

The 6 day trip wouldbe either 7^th-12^th March or 4^th-9^thApril. Both of these options would seem to rule out the train trip down, unlesswe set off a day early, although I have to say I am not actually aware of whattime the train leaves Hatyai and arrives in KL.

Any thoughts at thisstage?

Wet and Sticky

2012-01-19T22:41:00.001+07:00

IMAGE

CENSORED

I mean, have you any idea of what you get by Googling that title? Even with the ultra-safe filter on, it's still pretty gob-smoting for an innocent young mind. So no Sticky piccies this week!

But that doesn't detract from this weekend's offering which sees our senior FRB joining forces with his ageing mutt and next year's GM elect (Try and work out which is which! Hint: my money's on the one with the cold wet nose) to try to prove that there's life in the old haunts yet.

Details are:

SH3 run#1598, Saturday January 21st 2012, 4:00 p.m.

Hares: Stick Insect, Yardstick and Pak Ma

Misdirections: From The Kao Saeng intersection take the Hatyai road for 3.5k and turn left. Follow the road for 500m to Wat Kaow Keow and park in the school yard on the left.

Sunday's HH3 run is being set by Toa Ngoc, etc. from waaaay down Poonakan, after the football field but before the Channel 9 satellite dish, on the left in their upper class moobahn. Official directions may follow but the best estimate is that it's: old Hatyai road, 4.7k; left 8k, right 5k and look for a sign on the left.

Finally, those of an astute frame of mind will have noticed that the next glorious milestone in SH3's relentless bid to survive into the foreseeable future will arise in 2 weeks time when we hit 1600. These things are normally marked in some way and the committee are working day and night to organize an exciting and memorable event.....well, put it this way there's a meeting at Daeng's Bar tomorrow (Friday) night at 7:30 p.m. at which ideas as to how this suspicious occasion should be commemorated will be aired (as in hot air). Now attendance is strictly on a need to be there basis, which means that everybody is welcome, even if only to drink a beer or two while the finer intellects of SH3's mismanagement cogitate and drink more beer than is good for the decision making process.

Beaver, Softy and the Wursts have already sent their apologies, so it could be a lonely night in store for the rump of the committee. Over to you GM (or GM elect - woof! woof!)
Nuff said?

Wet Pussy

2012-01-13T10:53:00.001+07:00

Ok, Ok! I know what you're thinking. But two significant facts account for the title of this weeks fact filled post:

1. It's still raining and has been for most of this week; and

2. It's a pussy run this week.

The weather conditions also account for the slight uncertainty about the precise location of the run, though all will no doubt be clear by the time you get to within brake-screeching distance of the run site, the details of which are:

SH3 run # 1597, Saturday January 14th 2012: 4:00 p.m.

Hares: Superpig, Only a Yolk, Peppered Pussy and Meals on Wheels

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo Intersection take the new Yala road for 3.3k and check for the hash sign either on the right or at 3.5k on the left.

Hatyai H3 on Sunday are in buffalo country. Misdirections are to go to the Nam Noi traffic lights (old Hatyai road 10k) and turn right, then to go about 750 meters and turn left, then follow the road for about 1.5k to the run site on the edge of the abyss. The hares are Ouab Im and Vaseline.

HH3 runsite update

2012-01-05T19:35:00.002+07:00

I must set more runs...

2012-01-03T11:06:00.000+07:00

I must set more runs...

Is it working yet?

No, obviously not, because in the absence of volunteers to set this weekend's first run of the year, autopilot has been dusted off and will do it's thing on Saturday aided by last year's leading hares... who are (as if you didn't know) Harram and Pink Floyd who notched up 15 lays each with White Meat just behind on 13 (look, she's a blonde ok? and sometimes she just doesn't feel like going out and getting all mucky!) Anyway, initial reports are that it's a pretty spectacular run with some dramatic aquatic scenery even if bits of it might have been familiar had the pack not baulked at the hill on the last-but-one Kii Leum/R2D2 effort.

Details are:

SH3 run #1596, Saturday, January 7th 2012, 4:00 p.m.

Hares: Egghead and friends

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left. Go 6k and turn left at the crossroads then go 1.5k and turn right for 500 meters to the run site at the big sala.

Hatyai H3's whereabouts on Sunday are approximate: somewhere in the general area of the Or Bor Tor or the chicken farm at Pru Toh: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 10k and turn left at the Nam Noi traffic lights. Go about 3k and start looking for a sign on the right then follow signs to the run site. The hares are Sex Star, Sexy Girl and Sex Au Au.

Ok, back to the meditation:

I must set more runs...

A Happy New Year!

2011-12-30T08:30:00.004+07:00

Tomorrow's joint HH3/SH3 run and party is at the Sai Kao Resort. Details are:

SH3 run #1595, Saturday, 31st December 2011: 4:00 p.m.

Hares: Sex Sprinter, Laad Duang and Only a Yolk

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo Intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 6k then right for 4.5k. The resort is on the left. (Alternatively go 16k up the old Yala road, turn right at Wat Kun Thong, go 5k and the resort is on the right).

The price is 200 Baht (Kids free) and includes food, entertainment and beer etc. with the party following the run and ending when Palm Job can't stand up any more. There are some rooms at the resort one of which will be available for showering and other bodily necessities, the rest of which will be auctioned off during the evening, but it would probably be wise to take a sleeping bag and a tent if you intend to stay overnight. There will only be one run on Saturday which will not unduly tax your physical resources but a sense of humour would probably help.

On Sunday morning there will be breakfast, and as long as there are takers, a hangover run which will start at the resort and end at Egg Towers where a light lunch (and more beer) will be provided. The run will also be 'light' and should be do-able by anyone who can still walk after breakfast. The start time is fluid but sometime between 10:30 and 11:30 a.m. is predicted. After lunch there will be transport provided back to the resort to collect cars, belongings and any stragglers who haven't made it home by that time.

After that.... it's a brand new year. Anyone still trying to think of a resolution? Unless you are the GM, Kii Leum, a pussy, an Egg, a dog, or Sex Sprinter or Buk Toy, let me suggest one:

I MUST SET MORE RUNS IN 2012 THAN I DID IN 2011!!!!

I have an alibi!

2011-12-25T18:13:00.000+07:00

Hatyai? Never heard of it... at least I've never heard of the Pink Lady... or wherever that place is that I'm supposed to be standing in front of, with my arm round Freehand... or whoever it's supposed to be. It's a paste job anyway, whoever it is, because she's in Udon Thani, or Ubon Ratchathani or Saskatchuan; certainly not in Hatyai.

Anyway, I have an alibi: Rotary Wanker, a man of impeccable character who will vouch for my whereabouts at the time in question, or at least a couple of days later, but that's good enough. Unfortunately he's in Phuket at the moment, which is where this picture was taken, but he is promising to be at our New Year's run next weekend as long as there is a direct flight to Hatyai (wherever that is) which he can catch to get here in time. Then I shall salvage my reputation and establish beyond any reasonable doubt that I was NOT lurking in front of a dodgy massage shop.

Incidentally, Beaver's misquoting, because what I actually said was that I was waiting for a miracle - the transubstantiation of Peppered Pussy into the Virgin bleedin' Mary, Which was, as the picture below will establish, successfully performed, proving that where miraculous issues are concerned you are probably better off going to a dodgy massage shop than to a religious establishment.

The plot thickens

2011-12-23T10:42:00.009+07:00

A re-creation of the shocking scene witnessed by a TOS reporter in downtown Hatyai yesterday afternoon.

Mystery over tomorrow's SH3 run deepened when a TOS correspondent discovered the supposedly absent "technical advisor" lurking in front of a seedy Hatyai massage parlor late yesterday afternoon. By way of explanation the flustered TA blurted out that he was "waiting for a virgin".

Location of the notorious massage parlor: Possible B site for tomorrow's run?

It has meanwhile come to light that a recent recce for the upcoming run, the latest in a series by loose-cannon hares Kii Leum and R2D2, employed not one but two GPS units, with additional processing power being supplied by what was described as a "supercomputer".

Speaking on condition of anonymity, a respected SH3 ex-GM refused to comment.

Technically vacant

2011-12-22T08:35:00.000+07:00

This week's SH3 Christmas cracker is guaranteed to give 100% full running satisfaction. Its distance will be neither too long nor too short and it will contain an adequate sufficiency of reasonably but not unduly hard checks. It will contain two heart-stopping views, at least one waterfall and several kilometers of shady trails in pleasantly verdant rubber and is certified free of shiggy, gratuitous or excessively steep hills, klongs or other un-jumpable water courses, mud, slime or other forms of liquified earth, 600 meter check-backs or false trails and sharp jags to the left or right. It will also be completely free of technical advisors, Mr. X's or other intrusive busy-bodies with GPS's interfering with the hares' freedom to express themselves through the medium of the trail.

Details of this paeon to perfection are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1593, Saturday 24th December 2011, 4:00 p.m.

Hares: R2D2 and Kii Leum

Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 17.5k and turn right after Tan Kwai School. Go 500 meters to the run site on the left opposite the canning factory.

Sunday's HH3 run is being set by Nichaow, and is to be found on the Prutoh-Tungnai road access to which can either be had via Poonakan Road (old Hatyai road 4.7k, left 8k, right 5.5k, turn right for about 1k) or from the Nam Noi traffic lights (old Hatyai road 10k turn left for 3.5k, turn right for about 2.5k).

At either run you will be able to reserve your place on the following weekend's joint SH3/HH3 New Year's extravaganza at the Sai Kao Resort: 200 Baht will get you all the running, food, beer and debauchery you can cope with.

Anatomy of a near fiasco

2011-12-18T10:34:00.007+07:00

The Nam Noi area is a challenge to hares and runners at the best of times, and since the damage caused by the Big Storm of 2010, large parts of it are now totally impassable. Here are the combined tracks of the three recces I did for yesterday's run (click to enlarge). If you want to get yourself banned from SH3 haring for life, just try setting a run anywhere along the right edge of the tracks you see here. Those squiggly little lines don't come close to conveying how truly dreadful this country is now.

Staying further to the west, nearer the bottom of the hill, produced the run shown here. As usual the one last-minute bit of improvisation (the sharp jag to the left) was a mistake. But otherwise it seemed to work OK. You probably wouldn't want to try to set an A-t0-A from the runsite we used, though it's certainly a nice site and deserves a revisit someday.

Stats: 7.5km to the beer stop, then 1.5km more back to the A site. Total ascent was just over 500m. First in to the beer stop in 1:20 was Sex Sprinter, followed by Egghead and Solong. Last in on paper were Khii Leum at about 1:45 and Softcock at just under two hours. Shortcutters were Gan Yao (who arrived back at the site suspiciously quickly -- was a vehicle involved?) and Only a Yolk, who Egghead rushed off to rescue when he realized she had half of his team of dogs with her.

Damage!

2011-12-16T12:37:00.001+07:00

Tomorrow's runsite showing details of the suggested parking technique

Beaver's keeping the precise location of tomorrow's runsite a closely guarded secret but insider information from Mr. X suggests that he is wavering between the competing attractions of education and religion. So the smart money is on slowing down and looking right as you get to Nam Noi School but not being too surprised if the sign doesn't actually materialize until the end of the school wall and you are directed into the wat.

Approximate details are:

SH3 run # 1593, Saturday, December 17th 2011, 4:00 p.m.

Hares: Beavershot and ~~Yard~~ Mr. X

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for about 10k and look for the sign on the right around Nam Noi School.

Sunday's HH3 run is a Songkhla-friendly affair at Wat Keow Geow. Not sure who the hares are - if you don't ask, you don't need to know! It should be a 4:00 p.m. kick off, but that depends on how fast you have to travel to get there!

Red faces at panto spelling mistake

2011-12-16T12:18:00.002+07:00

Press Association, Friday December 16 2011

Theatre staff were left red faced after the letter T was missed out from Widow Twankey's name in their Christmas pantomime programme.

The mistake at the Whitley Bay Playhouse in North Tyneside was blamed on human error and has been corrected.

The misprinted programme was withdrawn and an apology made to theatre goers.

All-weather hashing

2011-12-15T11:26:00.006+07:00

October in Songkhla . . .

. . . December in England.

And we thought we were fanatics.

Beaver bites off more than he can chew?

2011-12-14T10:27:00.004+07:00

After two utterly disastrous recces, Saturday's run is beginning to look like a replay of last week's, plus another couple hundred meters of ascent and, no doubt, some good hard pouring rain. All the elements are there: a hill that has changed beyond recognition since last year's big storm, some old GPS tracks that are worse than useless, and no time for proper scouting. You've got to be out of your mind to come on this one.

It'll start at Nam Noi, either the wat or the school, depending on where the best minds of SH3 decide is the optimal location. It'll be done with the assistance of a hash personage I can now only refer to as Mr. X. If things go terribly wrong, blame him. Or the GPS. Or Egghead. Yeah, Egghead, it's all his fault!

Why didn't they do that?

2011-12-14T08:58:00.006+07:00

Last Saturdays truncated run in red.

What's the white track? Well that's the technical advisory route which the hares were technically advised to follow. Can't have been too difficult 'cos Sex Printer and the technical advisor found their way up the hill without the technical advisory equipment and Yardo used the track in his last lay before his meeting with the bollard. Ah well.... we will no doubt end up doing the white track at some time in the future; these things have a way of coming back to haunt us.

Sadly no track of last Sunday's excellent, if challenging HH3 outing as Sex Star is GPS-phobic.

Details of this weekend's entertainment to follow but rumor has it that it's a changing places weekend with SH3 almost in Hatyai at Nam Noi, and HH3 at Wat Keow Geow in Songkhla. Beaver: Over to you.

How did they do that?

2011-12-09T23:42:00.004+07:00

Easy! Give Kii Leum the GPS; pretend that he is in control; lay the paper where it had already been worked out during the recce. Moral, one good recce beats the sh*t out of the GPS.

So On! On! to SH3. When Kii Leum will have the GPS and will believe that he is in control, but the paper will just get laid according to the recce.

What do you mean there was no recce.....?

Ah well that's hashing!

A new hash HQ?

2011-12-09T10:08:00.009+07:00

Dr. Egghead expounds on the feasibility of using the Large Hadron Collider to confirm the existence of black p-branes, as posited under string theory.

Ever since the decline and then demise of the Parlang Bar some years ago, Songkhla Hash has been without a real home of its own. The Hot Bread Shop kindly lets us park our signs and other paraphernalia on their premises, but closes too early to be of any use as an after-hours meeting place. Nominally taking up this role recently has been Daeng's Bar, partly because they're willing to turn down the music when we arrive, partly because it's just respectable enough that Egghead will actually go their without complaint.

Now however we may finally have something closer to a real Songkhla HQ. The newly opened Bai Meang, on Sadao Rd. across the street from the governor's mansion, seems to offer everything we need all in one place: pleasant outdoor seating, good food (both Vietnamese and Rocky's Indian), and cold beer.
Professor Stick, thinking he has been called a "pea brain", fashions a carefully considered response.

And so several key members of the SH3 Brain Trust met last night to see if the new venue would pass muster. Our unanimous opinion was positive, with particular praise for the cheapness of the beer. Indeed, the only concern was that Bai Meang already seems to be attracting large numbers of that pale, subterranean species known as "English Teachers". But of course we can co-exist with them -- Egghead himself is living proof that the two poles of rude manly vigor and pencil-neck intellectual geekiness can co-exist within a single entity -- and we might even be able to exert a positive influence.

New breakthrough in direction-giving

2011-12-08T17:36:00.004+07:00

Stung into action by yet another professionally produced and true-to-scale map from HH3, SH3 brings you a new era in clear easy to follow directions, the peelable map. Just click one and a half times on the image and it will magically become stuck onto your screen thingy from where you can conveniently detach it and lose it in time for the run on Saturday.

But just in case you are not yet fully conversant with the technology, here anyway are the run details:

SH3 run #1582, Saturday December 10 2011, 4:00 p.m.

Hares: Kii Leum and R2D2

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo Intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k then turn left just after Wat Keow Kloy and follow the road for about 400 meters then look for a sign or some paper to guide you to the run site.

Now for that embarrassing map from HH3

Details for the graphically incompetant are: follow the directions for Saturday, but turn right at Wat Keow Kloy into Poonakan, then go 5.5k and turn left, then go about 1.5k and turn left and look for a living monk. Start time should be 4:00 p.m. but don't count on it!

Finally, don't forget tomorrow night's full moon run (Friday December 9th, 7:00 p.m., details below) Kii Leum is now confirmed as a hare too for that one and will be in control of the GPS so expect a very unusual run!

Probably the last full moon run of 2011

2011-12-06T07:38:00.004+07:00

Unless Mummy relents and allows HFMH3 a piece of the New Year's Eve action, the last full moon run of 2011 will take place this coming Friday at 7:00 p.m. The hares are Egghead and probably Kii Leum as long as a) his foot's all better, b) he's got time, as he's the hare on Saturday and c) he hasn't forgotten.

The run site will be: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left then go 5.2k and turn left then go 500m to the big sala on the left.

Usual stuff applies: Bring a hand light if you want to stretch your legs (and there will be a short run as well as a long run this time around). Beer will be on sale at 100 Baht for 3 cans, but if you want to bring your own along to share with yer mates there'll be a communal ice box provided, and contributions of food are always welcome, which can be raw if you want as the BBQ will be on hand to grill it to a crisp.

Saturday's SH3 run and HH3's offering on Sunday are still in the melting pot so watch this space for details.

Last week - this week -next year

2011-12-02T09:13:00.004+07:00

Last week's ad-hoc collection of hares managed (if I say so in all modesty) to produce a pretty good SH3 run last Saturday, although some alleged confusion with trails lead to one or two of our directionally challenged runners not being able to work out the location of the run site at the end.

Sunday's HH3 run exists only in memory; although Off T did carry his GPS round, he sensibly short cut so avoided most of the pain. All runs are good, but some are less good than others. This was one of those. Apart from a 10 minute section at the end on the way back to the runsite, when we did what we are supposed to do and actually ran in the jungle, the main features of the run consisted of being directed down spurious false trails and check backs by the hare followed by a tortuous steep ascent through unpleasant shiggy culminating at the road which we then duly ran back down past the pack of semi-evolved wolves guarding the stainless steel chedi atop Khao Ko Hong (which Kii Leum asserts is an alien spacecraft cunningly disguised but conveniently located to rescue adherents of 'the book' when the rapture occurs and whisk them off to somewhere where they can still drink beer, and sit around and say 'I told you so!') Nice try, chaps but don't do it again!

This week, in contrast, we will be treated to two runs by the same hares, which is a reflection of the general shortage of willing hares at the moment. Details are:

SH3 run # 1591, Saturday, December 5th 2011: 4:00 p.m.

Hares: Sex Sprinter and Palm Job

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 6.5k and turn right next to the CP Foods factory, then go 1k to the run site on the right.

HH3 on Sunday will also be set by Sex Printer and Scud and the run site will be 11.5k down the old Hatyai road on the left. The starting time should be 4:00 p.m.

Finally, HH3 are already advertising a New Years' Eve party at the Sai Kao Resort on 31st December. As NYE is a Saturday SH3 are desperately trying to get the event billed as a joint run so that we don't have the embarrassment of conflicting with our big daughter. The outcome of the delicate negotiations will no doubt be announced this Saturday, but the gist seems to be that the SH3 run that day will be from Sai Kao Resort and will probably be a torchlight run which will meld seamlessly with a NYE party featuring food, beer and entertainment including the latest version of the dancing pussies. There will be some accommodation available at the resort or a camp over for the hard up or slow-to-book. Sunday morning will feature recriminations, hangovers, unhealthy breakfasts and if it can be organised a run to dispel all of them and to restore faith in the wisdom of embarking on 2012 at all.

Great weather for hashing!

2011-11-24T07:20:00.000+07:00

The SH3 weather department brings you the stunning news that it is raining, and barring a major shift in the weather system currently sitting over Songkhla, that seems likely to continue over the weekend. But, the good news is that the Hash will go on, and certainly insofar as Saturday's SH3 run is concerned, can promise a dry run site and hard-top parking. Beyond that the prognosis is probably wet feet, but the hares have promised NOT to set a swamp run and to at least make an attempt at keeping the pack out of the water as much as possible. Where is this haven? Who are these miracle workers? Good questions!

SH3 run #1590: Saturday November 26th 2011, 4:00 p.m.

Hares: Kii Leum, Egghead and Only a Yolk

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 6k, then left for 2k then right for 300 meters to the run site near the big new sala.

Sunday's HH3 run (November 27th, 4:22 p.m.) is being set by Sex Star and Sex Au Au and the run site is a Poonakan location somewhere in the vicinity of Channel 11: from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k then right at Wat Keow Kloy for about 7.5k and look for a sign on the right.

Bereavered or just debeavered?

2011-11-18T07:40:00.007+07:00

This enigmatic image has surfaced this week cementing the growing fear that the Beaver has finally bought it; MIA in hostile territory; copped the big negative. Last heard of three weeks ago embarking on a highly secret under-cover mission to bring democracy to the political wastelands of Myanma, our intrepid CIA clone has not been heard of since.

But he would have wanted us to carry on...

So, SH3 will be joined this week by Bagan Serai Hash from Perlis and it would be nice to turn out in force to greet them, or more precisely to avoid the embarassment of there being more of them than there are of us! Special catering arrangements will apply so there'll be a bumper feast afterwards, and despite apocryphal rumors of a beer drought, the beer truck will be plentifully supplied.

Details are:

SH3 run# 1589, Saturday November 19th, 2011, 4:00 p.m.

Hare: Buk Toy

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection, take the old Hatyai road for 9.5k to the run site on the right.

HH3's run this Sunday (20th November 2011) is also a three-line whipper. The run will be at the autistic kids school in Ban Phru, and all proceeds of the run and any additional money raised on the day will go towards the school's development fund. The run site is just off the Sadao road about 1.8k after the intersection with the main North-South highway beyond Macro, on the left hand side of the road. There's a map below. It's an area we haven't run in for a couple of years, so as well as being in aid of a really good cause the run itself will be worth coming along for. The hare is Sexy Pig and the run will start at 4:17 p.m. sharp.

AND the GM asks politely if we could come along to the run wearing the shirt from the 555 run; we don't have to wear it to run in, just be identifiable as an organised group before we go off and turn into screaming lunatics out in the jungle; after all we don't want to scare the kids do we?

But this is a really good cause, so let's turn out in big numbers to support it or turn out big numbers from our wallets if we can't actually come along.

2011-11-13T21:19:00.002+07:00

Here's the eyeball stimulation data on Saturday's well received pussy run which you probably missed - a lot of people did, unfortunately; but the seven hounds and four mutts who didn't, enjoyed it. 7k and a perfect hour for first home Sex Sprinter with the rest of the pack not far behind.

Sadly no visuals of today's excellent HH3 run which most people didn't miss. A welcome return to haredom for Sofa and Ouab Im in an area previously only accessible to 4WD's which now has a major highway running right to its front door. Another great weekend's running - when was the last time we had a run that was anything less than excellent?

Instant update!

2011-11-11T17:02:00.003+07:00

...on the HH3 run on Sunday which is a bit further East than anticipated. Here's a map, and the directions for Songkhla are: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k, then left for 10.8k, then left for 2.2k.

Nice country!

Get the picture?

2011-11-11T14:14:00.005+07:00

It's a pussy run this week, but they promise to be gentle with us, and the location of the runsite suggests that we are unlikely to encounter any of the hostile territory that recent pussy runs have taken us through.

Details are:

SH3 run #1588, Saturday November 12th 2011: 4:00 p.m.

Hares: (from) After Ours, Crackwurst, Only a Yolk, Meals on Wheels, Temporary Relief + Canine buddies

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the Old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 6k then turn right and follow signs and paper to the run site.

Sunday's HH3 run is being set by Sofar and Ouab Im. The location is in the region of Ban Sai Kao, i.e. near the big tree (Old Yala road 16k, right 3.5k) but no doubt more details will be available at Saturday's run.

Next week, the Songkhla Hash run on Saturday (19th November) will be joined by 35 hashers from Bagan Serai Hash who hail from Perak in Northern Malaysia. They sent 3 representatives to R2D2's last-but-one run and had to be guided home by Gan Yao but were obviously impressed enough to want to bring their mates back to join us!

Finally, it looks like no full moon run this month, with Loy Kratong intervening, But if anyone wants to volunteer to set a run early next week, speak to the GM'ette tomorrow (if you dare!)

No comment

2011-11-05T21:58:00.004+07:00

Amazing coincidence!

2011-11-04T13:27:00.005+07:00

This week's hares share a coincidence with another SH3 runner which is so amazing that it makes you realize that we are all part of a huge cosmic design in which we are just powerless pawns on life's great chessboard.

First, R2D2 is a hare tomorrow, and he is also Sh3 GM, but it is not his birthday (although it was on Thursday) and he will be at tomorrow's run. Second, Egghead is a hare tomorrow and it is also his birthday but he is not SH3 GM and he will also be at tomorrow's run. Third, Yardstick who is also a hare has never been SH3 GM (but February is looming) and it is not his birthday tomorrow, but he will be at tomorrow's run. Finally, Beavershot, who is not a hare tomorrow, is not GM, it is not his birthday and he will not be at tomorrow's run!!!! Astounding huh?

Anyway, syncronicity apart, tomorrow's details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1587, November 5th 2011, 4:00 p.m. (weally, weally!)

Hares: R2D2, Yardstick and Egghead

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 5.2k then left (yes, left) for 500 meters to the run site on both sides of the road.

Sunday's HH3 run (#556, 6th November, 4:30 p.m. is being set by Nichaow and Sex Tsunami. The map below may provide some guidance as to it's location, but the smart money is on heading down Poonakan and looking for signs at about 5.5k

Is that a hare in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

2011-10-27T16:25:00.002+07:00

Would you trust this man with your daughter? More to the point would you trust him with a bag of shreddy and a compass?

Too late! we're committed: Saturday's run details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers' run 1586: Saturday, October 29th 2011, 4:00 p.m.

Hare: Kii Leum

Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection, take the old Yala road for 16k and turn right. Follow the road for 3.5k to the big tree and turn left, then go ahead for about 1k to the run site on the football field behind Sai Kao village.

Sunday's HH3 run is the celebration of their 555th run and will take place in the big sala behind the CP Factory just off the old Hatyai road (6.5k from the Ko Yo intersection, turn right go 1 k). Special conditions will undoubtedly apply to the run which Sex Printer should be able to throw some light on come the circle on Saturday.

P.S. For those of us who have forgotten, this is the start of the winter so SH3 are now reverting to a 4:00 p.m. start. That's likely to slip a bit this week, but if you're name is G** Y** and you are inclined to get there at the last minute, just remember that the last minute is now 4:01, not 4:31!

Birthday pix: Part III

2011-10-27T10:00:00.003+07:00

Birthday pix: Part II

2011-10-26T15:43:00.003+07:00

Birthday pix: Part I

2011-10-25T08:29:00.006+07:00

The 30th birthday run

2011-10-24T08:03:00.004+07:00

Here it is (click to embiggen): just under 7km from the A site to the B site (the "medium" run), just over 3km from the B site to the C site ("short" run), and around 10km for the whole thing.

The first back -- the triumphant elite runners you see directly below this -- started arriving at the B site at 1:07. The last ones never did make it. They were rescued by Egghead and ended up in the dark another kilometer or so east on the Baan Daan school road, where I met them in the Stickmobile. They refused my offer of a ride so that they could take the beer truck instead. I was deeply hurt, but I do understand.

The morning after

2011-10-23T12:28:00.008+07:00

The front-runners at the beer stop: 30 years of evolution produces this? (Click to see it really big!)

Well, the consensus seemed to be a pretty decent run (custom designed by Egghead, laid by Stick Insect and me) and a hugely successful party. At least we didn't lose anyone during either event, and not for lack of trying. Full photo coverage coming soon!

SH3 30th birthday run and party

2011-10-18T22:37:00.005+07:00

Against all the odds SH3's 30th birthday celebrations seem to be all set to spring fully formed into life and with over 100 people already registered for the event, If you still haven't reserved your place, you need to get in touch with a responsible person ... but no suggestions from this end as to where one might locate such a rara avis.

For those who don't know, the fun will kick off an hour early with transport for both the long and short runs leaving the Tung Jaeng Restaurant (New Yala Road, 9k, on the right) at 3:30 p.m. For that reason the beer truck will depart from the Hot Bread Shop at 2:30 p.m.

There will in fact be three runs, a long, a medium and a short. The long and medium runs will differ by the whole of the short run, so medium runners will be able to bale out at the beginning of the short run and get a lift back to the party. Long runners will be offered light refreshments at the mid-point and then invited to get their asses back on the trail so as to be back in time for the circle at 6:00 p.m. The light refreshment truck will remain on hand until all the long and medium runners have been accounted for and will forcibly detain anyone arriving after 5:30 who would be unlikely to make it before dark.

The party itself is expected to kick off with dinner at 7:00 p.m. with the entertainment kicking in at 8:00 p.m. Acts currently confirmed include the Victory Quintet and Pussy Gallorrrious. Meeeow!

Thanks are due to our beer sponsors who though anonymous as befits their selflessness, shall be recorded in full on the T shirt. The count currently stands at 17 cases with the odd vat of boozo del plonko thrown in by Useless Whitney and perhaps Full Moon H3 as well if she who must be obeyed is in a generous mood.

For the record, named SH3 and HH3 runners are still only being charged 300 Baht and guests 500 Baht with kids of all persuasions at 200 Baht. The price includes everything on offer: run(s), beer, dinner, more beer, entertainment, more beer and a T shirt.

Last word:

DON'T FORGET IT ALL STARTS AT 3:30 AT TUNG JAENG!

Don't be late!

And as if all that isn't enough, if you're jaded with the rugby and the prospect of all those bloody Kiwis being able to gloat at us lesser mortals, why not come along to HH3 on Sunday whose run will be graced by those bits of Batu H3 who haven't discovered that Saturday's exertions have left them in need of a relaxing rub down. The run is being set by... Moo Sahb... Hmmmmmm! and the run site is on the football pitch 4.5k down Poonakan past Wat Keow Kloy. The run starts at 4:30.

This weekend's cows

2011-10-14T21:27:00.001+07:00

Tomorrow's (25th October 2011: 4:30 p.m.) SH3 details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1584
Hare: Gan Yao
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 9.9k. Turn left and go right after 100 meters then left after another 100 meters and follow the road for about 2k to the run site near where the hare's pick-up will be parked.
Sunday's HH3 run is being set by Sex Printer and Toy Boy and the run site is adjacent to the Sai Kao Resort (From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 6k, then left for 4k and look for a sign)

The eternal search for hash immortality or Kii Leum looses the bonds which anchor the moon and stands impassive as it drifts eastwards

2011-10-11T22:55:00.002+07:00

and if you think that's surreal.....

So the upshot of all this post-modernist rambling is that Kii Leum will join the pantheon of knucklehead's who have nothing better to do than set two runs in a row for two different hashes, but somewhere in the process the intended run site for tomorrow's (Wednesday 12th October) has been switched from the West side of the New Yala road to the East side and will now be located firmly at Prem's Place (from the Ko Yo intersection take the new Yala road for 800 meters and turn left for about 1k to the run site wherever the hare fancies locating it).

Semi usual stuff applies: Bring a hand/head light if you intend to run and bring some beer if you feel that way inclined ('cos in all probability there will be no full moon ale on sale this month) and contributions of food will be welcomed. The fun will kick off at 7:00 p.m. and the run will start a bit later in all probability (but don't count on it because Kii Leum's Teutonic ancestry may assert itself and dictate a prompt departure.)

Next weeks SH3 run will now be set by Gan Yao and details of the run site are anxiously awaited. Further announcements will follow....

But this is probably a good opportunity to remind all our readers that the following Saturday (October 22nd) will be the 30th birthday of Songkhla Hash and the occasion will be celebrated in style with a classic A-B run, followed by a traditional southern Thai feast and a night of tastefully decadent entertainment at the Tung Jaeng Restaurant at the top end of the new Yala road. The occasion will also be marked by a T shirt and as much beer as you can drink before the sponsored stuff runs out, which eventuality could be staved off by further pledges of beer from our generous sponsors of whom YOU could be the next! All this for a measly 300 Baht for named runners and 500 Baht for newbies and guests. Bookings and pledges alike will be accepted throughout this week at tomorrow's Full Moon H3 run, Saturday's SH3 run and at HH3's run on Sunday. ALL ARE WELCOME!

Run my cattle

2011-10-07T09:15:00.000+07:00

Your worst nightmares are realized this weekend as Kii Leum, lately returned from the low country and happily now free of all bodily impediments notable hemorrhoids and dental plaque, and with his cavities well and truly filled, takes up the cattle prod and bids us get ourselves moving in a trail-wardly direction.
Details are:
SH3 run #1582, Saturday October 8th 2011, 4:30 p.m.
Hares Kii Leum and "Sean"
Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the new Yala road for 3k and turn left into the run site in the quarry.

HH3 on Sunday is being set by Nicheow and Pii Laer (??) and the run site is about 5k down Poonakan from Wat Keow Kloy on the left (from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k then right for 5k)

This weeks misdirections

2011-09-30T12:15:00.000+07:00

Tomorrow's SH3 details are:
Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1582, Saturday October 1st 2011, 4:30 p.m.
Hares: R2D2 and Sperminator
Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 8k and turn right before Ban Dan School. Follow the road for 3k to the run site in the old quarry.

HH3 on Sunday are running at Tung Nai. From Songkhla take the old Hatyai road for 10k past the Ko Yo intersection and turn left at the Nam Noi traffic lights. Go 3.5k and turn right. Go past the Or Bor Tor and past the fishing restaurant then turn left and follow the road to the run site. The hare is Nicheow.

What to give the pussy that has everything...

2011-09-22T13:57:00.002+07:00

You got it ... a GPS! Which is what Crackwurst, Only a Yolk, Meals on Wheels and Temporary Relief, all of whom have birthday's this month, (two of which actually coincide with Saturday's run), will be given on Saturday morning and graciously told to get their little tuts out into the hills and set us a pussy run! So expect no mercy, but do expect some fine running entertainment followed by some fine dining as the girls put on a BBQ apres-run party washed down with as much free beer as you can drink (in 10 seconds).

Details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1581. Saturday September 24th 2011, 4:30 p.m.

Hares including but not limited to: Crackwurst, Only a Yolk, Meals on Wheels and Temporary Relief

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection, take the new Yala road for 3.5k to the run site on the left.

For Sunday's HH3 run we have a bilingual map!

For Songkhla dwellers it looks like another trip down the old Hatyai road for 4.7k, turn left for 8k, then right at Wat Keow Kloy into Poonakan Rd. for 6.7k, then turn left for about 3k to the run site on the left just before Long Lien Tan Kwai/the railway level crossing.

You mean this GPS track?

2011-09-19T09:19:00.002+07:00

Saturday's run will live in the memory forever; somebody's memory; but not mine. I lost track of it somewhere around the naga's head as we hit the second beer stop (were there really only two? It seemed like more!) The next thing I recall was Sunday morning wondering how I was going to set a run for HH3. But magically it got done, and recorded by GPS (if anyone was using a GPS on Saturday they haven't said so and probably wouldn't have admitted to it anyway!) But Dung Beetle proved once again in case we needed reminding, that we don't always have to do the same thing to have a great afternoon's entertainment, and come to think of it, it's always Dung Beetle who snaps us out of our jungle mindset and sends us off grumbling to do something completely different, which we then all thoroughly enjoy and wonder why we don't do it more often. Thanks Big Boy, and thanks to his team of un-'usual suspects' for organizing the run, T-shirt and party: Wet Spot, Rotten Johnny and Conebrain.

But Sunday it was business as usual with a 7k circumnavigation of Kao Lam, a max. elev. of 181m and a total ascent of about 350m. Good jungle-bashing stuff with a complete traverse of the hostile South face and the more popular North-side being completely eschewed in favor of a gentle flirt with the lower reaches of Kao Wong. The fit bastards took about an hour twenty; Off T brought up the rear in the thick end of two hours. In between the hare gallantly rescued Bid Bleow and Kii Loei in the gathering dusk somewhat to the chagrin of Gas Hole/Gaseous Clay who seems to have taken on the role of errant knight on Sundays, and Danny helped Julie to complete her first day-time Hash in Songkhla, as the sun slipped behind the hill... ahh I feel a song coming on:

But I don't feel afraid

As long as I gaze on

Borogam Sunset

I am in paradise.

Lick Your Titles... Off, Baby?

2011-09-15T13:18:00.003+07:00

In an apparently bold tribute to Captain Beefheart who snuffed it last year, Dung Beetle has named his birthday run this weekend, the "I want to lick your titles" run. Instructions as received verbatim from the magic man read (and updated in red):

"Hash scum join the black heart blaggards for a I want to lick your titles town run assemble out side the corner Beir bar in central skl make sure you register the hare will be "all the usual suspects"

Dunge beetle. And other hash scum

" dunge beetles town run will go down in the anals of hash history" " a hash event that. Should not be missed" quote from the x editor of the scum.

Well, can't add much to that except to add the Online-Scum's endorsement to the x editor of it's prehistoric predecessor and say that if anything is going to go anal at the Hash, we should all be there to see it, as well as to wish a happy half century to the Dunge-Boy who has organised both the run and the food afterwards, despite currently being laid up in hospital after a hernia op., and to make a few timely suggestions for suitable birthday presents:

1. A case of beer

2. A case of beer

3. A case of beer

Official details read: Songkhla Hash House Harriers run # 1580, Saturday, September 17th 2011, 4:30 p.m. Dung Beetle's birthday town run.

Hares including but not limited to: Dung Beetle and Wet Spot

Misdirections: Congregate in the vicinity of the corner of Sai Ngam and Sisuda Roads outside the Corner Beer Bar.

On Sunday some sort of normality will be restored with Hatyai H3's run being conveniently located for SH3 hounds who still have some energy left after Saturday.

The hare is Kai Jeow, who following Dung Beetle's lead has named the run the Sprout Mash Reptile run. The directions are:

From the Ko Yo Intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 5.2k then left (yes left!) for about 300 meters to the run site opposite the big sala.

Grot averted, mayhem and anarchy postponed

2011-09-13T21:42:00.003+07:00

The Full Moon Hash is alive and well after last night's highly successful outing and social gathering with the awful weather magically lifting to give us a clear moonlit night and the considerate trail not requiring anyone to get their feet wet despite mostly steering clear of the well worn tracks. Stick Insect was first home in an hour just ahead of Sex Printer who tried to cut the in trail and did get his feet wet. He seems to be making a habit of short cutting these days after being lead astray by Off T's GPS on Sunday.

Also lead astray were the short run, who unwisely followed Only a Yolk's example and only did half the run, and Stick Insect's wallet which seems to have made a bid for freedom from the life of depravity and exploitation it is required to lead, but sadly it's inability to hide itself in time lead to its recapture the following morning and its restoration to its tearful owner, who has promised that he will mend his ways and treat the wallet with more respect in future.

Upcoming next is Dung Beetle's birthday town run which will take place as planned this Saturday, despite his present hospitalization. More details in a day or two when our intermediaries have established the big boy's precise intentions.

Remember, Remember the Twelfth of September...

2011-09-11T21:02:00.006+07:00

....mayhem, anarchy and grot.

This month's hastily arranged Full Moon Run will take place tomorrow, Monday 12th September, and YOU have been targeted as exactly the person to attend to make the whole event sparkle in the way that the last two sparsely attended runs have failed to do.

Run details are:

Hatyai Full Moon H3 run #81, Monday September 12th, 2011; 7:00 p.m.

Hare: Kai Jeow

Misdirections: From the KoYo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left for 5.2k. Turn right through the temple arch and follow signs for 500 m to the run site Chez Ouefs.

Usual stuff applies: bring some beer if you feel like sharing it or buy Full Moon special brew at 100 Baht for 3 cans. Don't forget your handlight in case the full moon doesn't feel like sparkling, and contributions of food always welcome, although the Barbie is being greased down as we write to deliver all manner of good things, and there will probably be the odd vat of curry to consume as well if Only a Yolk has anything to do with it, as she undoubtedly will!

So, last message: PLEASE COME! You know it makes sense.

Want a Palm Job?

2011-09-09T09:50:00.004+07:00

You got it!

This week's SH3 details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1579, Saturday, September 10, 2011; 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Palm Job

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo Intersection take the old Hatyai road for 6.5k and turn right after the CP factory. Go in about 1k to the run site.

Sunday's HH3 run is being set by Sex Tsunami and Nicheow and the run site is somewhere beyond Beaver's run site for SH3 last week (From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k, then right into Th. Punnakan at Wat Keow Kloy for 4.5k then left and follow the road until you see a sign).

So yes . . . why ARE we doing this?

2011-09-04T20:13:00.007+07:00

This handsome track (click to embiggenate) belongs to today's Hatyai H3 run, about which opinions were decidedly mixed. The FRBs like Sex Sprinter, Sex Ao Ao, and Sex Star all seemed to find it . . . sexy. But then they would. Those further behind, like Softcock, Gan Yao, and Off T were less enthusiastic. Egghead, I mean Khai Jiao, loved it, while The Lady of the Lamp hated it, but then that's exactly what they both often do, so they cancel each other out. For the hare, yet another a lesson in how a run that does interesting things geographically might not always bring joy to the running rabble. But maybe, like Hillwalk III, it'll seem better in retrospect.

Stats: 7.7km long, 510m total ascent, with the highest points just 199m (at the top of that first bit of shiggy) and 200m (just before the steep muddy descent, which was only 80m vertically, though it did feel like more). First runners back in 1:20, last ones in the final moments before total darkness, 2 hours+.

Instant Replay, part ii. Would a map help?

2011-08-30T22:25:00.016+07:00

[THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK]

[WE'RE WATCHING]

If you enjoyed last weekend's two excellent runs (and who didn't - don't answer that question!) then you'll be thrilled to hear that the same hares will also be setting the runs this coming weekend. Remarkably, as well, having managed to select the same run site last weekend, this weekend they neatly straddle Poonakan Road at the 4.5k turn off just before Wat Tung Nai, although the mile or so that separates the run sites should produce two widely varying runs as they (presumably) head off in opposite directions.

Details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1578, Saturday September 3rd, 4:30 p.m.

Hares: Sex Sprinter and Toy Boy (to whom big thanks for stepping in and saving us from another auto-pilot run)

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k. Turn left for 8k then right (at Wat Keow Kloy) for 4.5k then left for 900 meters to the run site on the right

Hatyai H3 run #547 at a guess, Sunday September 4th 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Sex Focus

Misdirections: See below, but if you're a person of habit just follow Saturday's directions and turn right off Poonakan at the 4.5k mark, then go 700 meters to the run site on the left.

Instant replay

2011-08-30T09:31:00.009+07:00

HH3's entertainment this Sunday will feature another run built of off-the-shelf parts by Sex Focus, who like most people on this blog tends to refer to himself in the third person. Unlike last Saturday's rather perfunctory effort, this one promises to link up some of the more dramatic bits of recent beaverish runs in the area. It'll be one adrenaline-pumping flashback after another as you ask yourself once again, "Why am I doing this?"

Here, recycled from a run last October, are some preliminary misdirections, subject as always to re-interpretation by the Hare-raiser:

Misdirections: Take Old Hatyai Rd. 10km to the Nam Noi traffic lights. Go left for 3.5km, then right for 3.4km. Runsite on the right.

--ALTERNATIVE ROUTES --

Following the above misdirections, the runsite is 3.0km beyond the Thung Yai Aw Baw Taw. Alternatively, take Punnakan Rd. from Wat Khao Kloi for 4-5m, turn right on the Phru To-Thung Yai road, and go 700m to the runsite on the left. If coming from Hatyai (as some of the best people do), then take Punnakan Rd. for 5.7km, then go left 700m to the site. Or go by any route of your choice to coordinates N 07˚00.781 E 100˚32.404.

Redactio ad absurdam

2011-08-29T10:55:00.006+07:00

In case you're wondering what's been redacted (whatever that means) from the post below, here it is. Let the truth by told!

(√h2 +v²)/1+e

As to Egghead's constant, it is indeed a variable, the value of which depends upon the length of the run in question (i.e. it is constant within the fixed framework of a run of given distance x, calculated according to the Beaver beta equation (as lifted from Pythagoras), √h2 +v², and is calculated according to the following formula:

e=((√h2 +v²)/6)-1.

Ok, ok, so it doesn't have the snappy, memorable ring to it that uncle Albert managed in his e-quation, but this one works! Unlike Albert's effort at a constant which he admitted was the greatest mistake of his life, and completely failed in its efforts to keep the universe the same size, the Egghead constantly variable run coefficient works for all non trivial run values and ensures that no run can ever possibly exceed 6 kilometers. Try it, I'm sure you'll agree that this is a major step forward in our effort to curb hares' enthusiasm, and I shall be proving the point this Saturday (as none of you other lazy b******s have stepped forward and volunteered ) when I shall be taking careful measurements which will prove conclusively that no run ever need be longer than 6 Kilometers again!

Beaverchuting

2011-08-28T02:37:00.006+07:00

Rodent? That's such a cruel, hurtful word. "Amphibious mammal" is no doubt the term the previous post meant to use. And the "amphibious" part came in handy yesterday. By the time the hare got to the top of the hill it felt like there was more water up there than air. Fortunately things dried off by the time the rabble arrived, though it has to go down as the coldest hash of the year so far. The hot soup tasted better than the cold beer.

As promised, the length was exactly 6km, as calculated by the standard formula [FORMULA REDACTED BY OFFICIAL ORDER], where h and v are total horizontal and vertical distances in meters and e is Egghead's Constant, an unknown and unknowable number that in fact may be a variable. The lying GPS said 8.48km with a total ascent of 447 meters.

Groundhog weekend

2011-08-26T12:19:00.007+07:00

Yaaaaawn.....

Saturday's SH3 run details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1577, Saturday August 27th 2011, 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Groundhogshot

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection, take the Old Hatyai road for 4.6k and turn left then go 6k and turn left at the crossroads, then go 1.8k and turn right for 350 meters to the run site by the sala on the left.

Sunday's (August 28, 2011, 4:30 p.m.) HH3 run is being set by Sex Printer and Toy Boy and there are a number of ways of getting to the run site:

If you are coming from Songkhla itself, you could take the old Yala road for 16k and turn right then go 7.5k then left for 350 meters to the run site on the left, or if you are coming from closer to the Ko Yo intersection, you could take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left then go 7k then turn left for 1.8k to the run site on the right; or you could even go 10k to the Nam Noi traffic lights then turn left for 7.8k then turn right for 350 meters to the run site on the left. In fact there are a large number of possible ways of getting to the run site, and that is just from Songkhla. There are probably an equally larger number of possibilities open to you if you are coming from Hatyai...

BUT whichever one you take, you will still end up at exactly the same place as you ended up at on Saturday, because beavers aside, this is Groundhog weekend when we get to run twice from the same runsite... in fact who knows how many times we are going to run, as we may just have to keep on doing it until we get it right, wasn't that the story?

But then would you trust a rodent?

Jungle Fever: The Remix

2011-08-23T18:53:00.005+07:00

No, I can't compete with the bizarre genius of K.Y., so instead this Saturday you're going to get a remix of some old Greatest Hits. It starts from the sala where we met for last month's Full Moon Run-that-became-a-walk. Misdirections here, but no doubt our Trailmeister will soon repost them in his inimitable style. Gentle hills, delightful trails, and superb views guaranteed. And just 6km! Honest!*

*In the Egghead sense of the word.

Sticky end

2011-08-22T10:41:00.007+07:00

Above is the sanitized version of Sticky's magnum opus from last Saturday. Below is a detail of the little bit at the top of the hill which show just how much work he had to put into getting us successfully to the beer stops. The GPS track looks like a cyber-spider on acid got into the program and all the extra bits while he searched for a half decent track amounted to about 2.5k in all on top of the 7k for the run which we eventually did (well most of us anyway) .

Sadly no track from yesterday's excellent Vaseline Scud run which all who did it agreed was a worthy contender for run of the millenium. Details of next week's Beaver run shortly, but how is he going to match that?

All hail the new king of hares!

2011-08-22T00:24:00.002+07:00

Attack of the killer stick insect

2011-08-19T07:52:00.003+07:00

Ok, Ok, so it's Friday morning and there are no misdirections AGAIN; and posts without pictures are a serious turnoff and Google Images is not coming up with much; or maybe I'm just not getting the cue right. But mutant stick insect seemed like a promising search, so this 'll have to do.

Anyway, Sticky has stepped forward and this week's run details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1576, Saturday August 20th, 2011; 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Stick Insect

Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the Hatyai road out of Songkhla for about 3.5k and turn left then go 500 meters to the run site at Wat Kaow Keow.

Sunday's HH3 run is being set by Scud and Vaseline, and if you doubt the influence wielded by the combined Hashes of Songkhla and Hatyai in world affairs, just try searching Google Images with the cue: Vaseline Scud!

Directions are:

(From Songkhla) From the Ko Yo Intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k, then turn left just beyond Wat Keow Kloy and follow the track for about 1k to the run site.

From Hatyai, the smart money is on going to the Nam Noi traffic lights and turning right then going 6k and turning right at the crossroads at Ban Tha Kam for 2k then left just after Wat Keow Kloy. The alternative is going all the way up Th. Poonakan and turning right at the top then immediately left, but bear in mind that Sunday is the last day of the Mor Or fair so the section of Poonakan near the uni. is likely to be traffic carnage.

5k by the light of the silvery moon

2011-08-15T17:49:00.006+07:00

25k? Scandalous!

So just to reassure you, this week's full moon run which will take place on Wednesday will be a modest 5k; honest!

Details are:

Hatyai Full Moon Hash run #77 or thereabouts. Wednesday, August 17th, 7:00 p.m.

Hare: Kai Jeow

Misdirections: From Songkhla, take the Old Hatyai road for 4.7k beyond the Ko Yo intersection and turn left for about 4k then left for 1k to the run site which will be at the end of the immaculate new tarmac section of what was formerly a pleasant and gentle track through the rubber but is now a three lane highway to nowhere.

(From Hatyai, turn right at Kuan Hin Mai/Wat Nern Salai and go 4k etc.)

All the usual stuff applies: Bring beer to share or rely on the copious supplies of full moon ale (3 cans for 100 Baht) which by special request of Knackerwurst will include a case of Tiger (but perversely may not include any Leo, so if you are really Chang/Tigerphobic bring your own!)

Contributions of food always welcome and if you don't want to trust to the light of the silvery moon bring a handlight or one of those miners' lamp thingies. Oh, and there will be a zimmer frame-able short run available for the pediatricly challenged, so Yardo, there's no real excuse for not coming along to keep us all amused!

No announcement yet about Songkhla Hash next week as we still don't have any hares, but no doubt there will be a flood of volunteers on Wednesday when details will be given out. Either that or start checking out what's on telly on Saturday afternoon!

A run with some geezers in Chonburi

2011-08-13T23:22:00.009+07:00

So your correspondent today went out to run with Pattaya Bush H3, a monthly hash whose demographic pretty much resembles ours . . . maybe two guys under 40, most in their 50s, and a couple even older than Egghead, if you can imagine that. And of course they're mostly Pattaya pissheads, so what could you possibly expect of their run?

Well, how about 20 -- yes, 20 -- checks over 11+ kilometers? No bad, eh? But hang on, that was only the first half. After a brief water stop, it carried on for another 16 checks and roughly 14 more km. That made 25km in about 3 hours.

Now with our hills and our smaller numbers, we'd be crazy to try anything like that here. But it just goes to show what even old farts can accomplish if they set their half-minds to it. Something to keep in mind the next time a SH3/HH3 hare sets a 10km/90 min. run and we (and I include myself) start whingeing about how extreme it is . . . .

What? Gan Yao? Wo!

2011-08-11T18:13:00.015+07:00

This week's hare is Gan Yao. Now in case you think the heading of this item indicates some incredulity or horror at this prospect or perhaps even a late sixties expression of delight, let me say straight away that I haven't the faintest idea what it means, or to be more precise I don't have the faintest idea what the Chinese heiroglyphics under the big friendly What! mean, although they undoubtedly transliterate into our familiar English alphabet (and let's have no quibbles about whose alphabet it is) as Gan Yao Wo.

So this week's SH3 run will forever hereafter be know as the, What? Gan Yao? Wo! run and we shall have to wait until it has run its course or to be more precise until we have run its course to establish which of the various possible meanings of that import laden phrase will prove to be apt.

Now to the directions. The hare has provided us with precise if unusually phrased details of how this week's run can be found, which read:

"From the Koh Yo intersection (where you set your trip meter for any Malaysians) go down the old Hat Yai road for 4.7km, turn left at the HHH sign. Zero your trip meter and go down this road, at about 7.8Km you will pass Wat Keow Kloy on your right at a junction. Go straight, and at 9.9 ish kilometres turn left"

Zero trip, persevere for 100mt and turn right, follow road left in another 100mt and follow the road, which turns to dirt (as in everything I touch!) for about 2 km through the estate. Hares Toyota Starship will be parked round the right turn."

For the benefit of those of us whose grasp of God's own language is less florid, the standard model details of the run will hereafter be forever expressed as:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1575, Saturday August 13th, 2011: 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Gan Yao

Misdirections. From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 9.9k. Turn left and go right after 100 meters then left after another 100 meters and follow the road for about 2k to the run site near where the hare's pick-up will be parked.

Rumor has it that we may have some KL hashers joining us and that they and others will then be heading off to help Bi Anal celebrate his sixtieth birthday. The hare, cogniscent of this has promised that the run will not unduly delay those lucky enough to have been invited to the festivities so don't let the promise of the evening's delights stop you from coming... to the hash.

Sunday's (August 14th 2011; 4:30 p.m.) HH3 run will be set from the Or Bor Tor office at Tungyai (old Hatyai road, 10k, left 3.5k, right 500 meters) and the hares are Sex Star and Sex Ao Ao. The afternoon will feature democracy in action as all in attendance are asked to vote on how HH3 will celebrate it's 555 run at the end of October. Now, doesn't that ring a bell? Celebrate? Special run? End of October?

Nah!

Shock! Horror! as Thaksin, Cambodia attack hash

2011-08-09T22:41:00.006+07:00

The hashing world was stunned this week at the news that last Saturday's run was sabotaged by fugitive ex Prime Minister, Thaksin Shinawatra who reportedly employed a gang of drug crazed Cambodian commandos, posing as innocent drunken rubber workers to remove vast amounts of paper from Saturday's run, causing the pack to wander round in a state later described as stunned confusion. A spokesman for SH3 described attempts to downplay the situation as grossly exaggerated and denied that the pack were simply unable to follow the trail when it didn't go where they expected it to. "These are experienced and seasoned hashers we are talking about here," he said "not a bunch of mindless jerks suffering from delusions of athleticism." A spokesperson for the hares later commented "Woof woof woof bunch woof woof mindless woof woof jerks woof woof woof about fuggin' right woof woof!"

Outstation overkill and even more pussies!

2011-08-05T20:53:00.004+07:00

Here, for those who enjoy this sort of thing, is a visual record of last week's outstation run in which the hares made full use of the available countryside to the point of overkill! Future organizers of outstation runs please note: It's nice to go somewhere where we can run a bit as well as do all the other things we packed into the weekend! But generally the response to last week's trip has been to ask when we can do it all again so probably the lack of an outstanding run wasn't too much of a problem.

Stop press:

Tomorrows hares at the latest count are: After Ours, Crackwurst, Only a Yolk, Meals on Wheels, Temporary Relief, Softdog, Korean Barbecue, Illegal Beagle, White Meat, Harram, Pink Floyd and Puy. Could this finally be the week when we have more hares than hounds? Come along and prevent it happening (or be there and be able to boast to your grandchildren about it!)

More Satun outstation pix

2011-08-05T07:56:00.004+07:00

Now that's a relief . . .

2011-08-04T23:29:00.003+07:00

Whew . . . I was beginning to get concerned about our next run. And when I get concerned, strange things come out of the photo archive.

BTW, Handjob claims no knowledge of or interest in setting Saturday's run, so I guess she's out. If anybody with more patience than me could kindly explain to her why her life is hopelessly impoverished without the hash, or at least the food it serves every Saturday, then please talk to her. I've tried . . . .

You can never get enough pussy!

2011-08-04T22:32:00.008+07:00

Our ladies are puckering up again for your delight this weekend and will be out early on Saturday morning with no intention other than to completely fulfill all your worst nightm.... errr fantasies... of the running kind! Details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1574: Saturday, August 6th 2011, 4:30 p.m.

Hares: Crackwurst, After Ours, Only a Yolk, Meals on Wheels and Handjob

Misdirections: from the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 4.3k and turn right for 1.2k to the run site close to the reservoir behind the Gor Sor Nor.

Sunday's HH3 run which will quite definitely and without a shadow of a doubt take place this week is down Poonakan way again: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 8k then right at Wat Keow Kloy for 5k then turn left just before Wat Tungnai and go about 1k to the run site on the left. The hares are Sex Printer and Toy Boy and the fun starts sometime after 4:00 p.m.but probably not as late as 4:30.

Wang Waen Outstation Run pix, part I

2011-07-31T19:26:00.004+07:00

Where are we going to run this weekend?

2011-07-27T20:55:00.003+07:00

A good question. Spoiled for choice aren't we? How can we scale the sheer limestone cast to the eastern side of the valley while also taking in the majestic 500 meter mountains to the west? Or maybe we should just head for the glacier tipped peaks to the north. Either way the hare will be setting off tomorrow in quest of new trails to run, new peaks to conquer and all being well you can experience the results of his quest on Saturday.

Directions to the resort as below and if you haven't booked but decide at the last minute you want to, call either Only a Yolk (089 6542351) or Eggperson (081 9691277) before Saturday, or better still just turn up on Friday and demand accommodation.

If by any chance you are not able to join us this weekend but fancy a run, Hatyai H3 will be running on Sunday afternoon, when Sex Star will lay a run from the football field at Tungnai (from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k and turn left for 8k, then right for 4.5k. Run site on the left).

On boldly on!

Strange times on Punnakan Rd.

2011-07-24T12:17:00.002+07:00

Yesterday's run: about 8km total, including false trails; maximum elevation just 167m, total ascent around 250m. First in was Safe Sex in, I dunno, about 1:15? Bringing up the rear was Wet Spot, in well before dark despite arriving entirely on his own at the near-impossible last check and finding it still unbroken.

Apparently there was an anonymous complaint about "too much running". Given the nature of this event (a hash, er, run), we would have thought that this would be like saying there was "too much beer" in the beer truck or "too many bubbles" in your tub at the Pink Lady. But the hare in fact had considered that possibility, which was one reason for the number and difficulty of the checks.

The other reason of course was to confuse and lose Mongolian Sex Rat. This proved so successful that he didn't even show up. A moral victory, if not quite as satisfying as seeing him slink in from the wrong direction half an hour after everyone else.

A Change of location for the Beer truck

2011-07-23T19:58:00.003+07:00

As has been pointed out, the SH3 Web site still suggests that visitors to Songkhla Hash should go to the Parlang in Songkhla to find the beer truck on Saturday afternoons, but in case any one checks here for updated information, the beer truck now starts its journey to the run site at the Hot Bread Shop in Sisuda Road, 1 hour before the start of the run (3:30 p.m. or 3:00 p.m. between October and February). Visitors are very welcome to join our runs and a call to 081 9691277 for information in English or 089 6542351 for information in Thai will always get details of either the SH3 run on Saturday or the HH3 run on Sunday.

Next week's outstation run: the map

2011-07-22T14:17:00.003+07:00

Here is a map to next week's outstation run at Wang Wen Resort. OK so it's not to scale and it would probably help to have a multilingual navigator, but it should get you there. Hard copies will be available at this weekend's runs, but the pdf will be e mailed today if you want to print it yourself.

If you haven't already booked please let Only a Yolk know by Sunday if you are going. And also Please let her know if you are intending to go down on Friday so that we can negotiate a price for accommodation and some food.

Beaver's Excellent Punnakan Adventure

2011-07-20T07:54:00.011+07:00

Good likeness huh? The distinguished receding hairline, the leery grin, the crazed bloodshot eyes, the buck teeth... Oh no that's the beaver!

But Beaver has been out scouting and a run which promises to appeal to the sensibilities of the running elite (who are they? Shouldn't they be handicapped in some way?) is promised. Details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1572, Saturday July 23rd, 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Beavershot

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the Old Hatyai road for 4.7k. Turn left for 8k then right at Wat Keow Kloy for 1.2k, then turn left and go 500m to the run site near the sala on the left.

Sunday's (July 24th, 4:30 p.m.) HH3 run is another Punnakan adventure, but is rather further from Wat Keow Kloy - about 8k further, in the vicinity of Gam Ling Reservoir. Follow the same misdirections as for Saturday, keep going down Punnakan and look for the sign on the left somewhere around the abattoir, before the Conference Center. The hare is Nicheow and there are rumors that there may be some kind of an on-on after chez Toyboy - but it's only a rumor at this stage.

Finally, don't forget that this is the last week before the outstation run at Wan Wen Resort in Satun, so if you haven't already booked, speak to Only a Yolk this weekend. Members are 400 Baht, guests are 1000 Baht, which includes accommodation in discretely companionable (i.e. you may have to share with someone else!) chalets, food, all the beer you could possibly want to drink, a run on Saturday and Kayaking on Sunday morning, with some raucous and distasteful entertainment planned for Saturday evening. A number of people are already planning a pre-binge warm-up on Friday for which accommodation etc. will be extra but not too much!) and directions to the resort will be distributed at this weekend's runs.

Wound-lickin' good!

2011-07-18T07:15:00.005+07:00

Just what was needed after Saturday's pussy monster. 9k'ish for the long run and 5k for the short run laid live by the exhausted hare who was caught on several occasions by the pack, and who at one point had to have first aid rendered to him by front runners, Sagai and 4-wheel after he slipped down a bank and gashed his elbow.

The long run looked likely to claim two victims as well, as two almost-virgins wandered beyond the confines of the short run and 2 hours later had not been seen or heard of since. Happily they had done the sensible thing and when the paper ran out at the unbroken 3rd check, turned round and followed it homewards, being located and 'rescued' by Nicheow as the search parties were just being organised.

Sex Ao Ao alias Mongolian Fuckrat was home first in about 1h 13m but it was almost 2 hours before all the runners drifted in. Knackerwurst (a.k.a. I want my wife) meritoriously completed the short run in about one and a half hours accompanied by a team of nurses who mopped his brow as he sprang lightly across... etc. Only a Yolk, disguised as Moo Sahb, evaded being iced for a completely gratuitous short cut with Sexy Girl which had them scrambling down rocky cliffs instead of enjoying the verdant orchards on the descent. Praise for the run was muted, possibly because none of the beer stops materialised.

But next week it will all be different, as Beavershot and Nicheow respectively explore the verdant pastures of Poonakan from opposite ends on Saturday and Sunday. More details later in the week when the pain has become a distant throb.

Last call for hillwalk photos!

2011-07-17T12:58:00.003+07:00

Yes, it's coming soon . . . the official 2011 Hillwalk Photo CD. This is your last chance to have your own shots immortalized on this soon-to-be classic disc. Contact Beavershot Productions a.s.a.p.!

Where pussies dare

2011-07-16T21:02:00.007+07:00

Click on the image to LARGE it!

Who's going to set the monster next year? The pussies put in an early bid for consideration this afternoon with a run that put this years civilized monster, 3 runs back, to shame in the length department with this sanitized, de-F'd version clocking in at between 9.5 and 10k. The GPS-that-never-lies records that the hares put in 5 hours and 8 minutes in laying the run, of which less than 2 hours was spent resting. They went up 434 meters although only reaching a maximum elevation of 187 meters and the pack (or those members of it whose memory did not became hazy when confronted with the fact that they missed out the final hill - Sex Sprinter and Phuk!) devoted a minumum of 1 hour 45 minutes to negotiating the trail, and Buk Toy took considerably more than that!

Tomorrow's HH3 run is promised as being completely pussy-free and will consist of wide shady trails through softly undulating countryside with a single modest ascent up a small hill and a considerate descent through verdant orchards to a gentle trail home in time for tea. Comely maidens will be on hand to mop our mildly perspiring brows as we spring lightly across the forgiving turf and the run will boast at least 3 beer stops. Well, ok that last bit is a slight exaggeration, but the hare is promising a less demanding Sunday excursion than we enjoyed today!

Drifting Moon

2011-07-12T22:08:00.006+07:00

The run site for this Thursday's (July 14th 2011, 7:00 p.m.) full moon run has drifted slightly, making it slightly easier to get there by the beaten track (or the tarmaced road for that matter) and the run directions now stand as:

From Songkhla: Take the Old Hatyai road for 4.6k and turn left then go 6k and turn left at the crossroads, then go 1.8k and turn right for 350 meters to the run site by the sala on the left.

The hare is Sex Printer and the usual stuff applies: Beer will be on sale at 3 cans for 100 Baht but if you want to take along a few extra cans to share with yer mates, feel free! Bring a handlight to trip the light fantastic by and some food to add to the communal trough.

While we're at it, Saturday's SH3 run will be courtesy of Les Chats, otherwise known as the pussies.

Details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1571: Saturday 16th July 2011, 4:30 p.m.

Hares from: Crackwurst, Only a Yolk, Ram It In, Meals on Wheels, Temporary Relief and Handjob.

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo Intersection take the new Yala road for 7k and turn right into the run site.

And finally, HH3's run this Sunday (July 17, 4:10 p.m.) will be set by Kai Jeow from the football field behind Ban Sai Kao: From Songkhla, take the old Yala road for 16k and turn right then go 3.5k and turn left just after the big tree and follow the road ahead for about 1k to the run site. (From Hatyai turn right at the Nam Noi traffic lights for about 11.5k and turn right just before the big tree)

So now that you're enhanced

2011-07-12T07:11:00.002+07:00

OK, you've just had your Phuk or other enhancement product, and you're ready to boogie. What do you do next? You put an ad in the newspaper, of course. Here's a splendid example from Phnom Penh's Bayon Pearnik.

Are you man enough for...

2011-07-08T02:01:00.009+07:00

Just as we were feeling as if we needed a bit of a lift, along comes Phuk to help us get it on.

All Natural
Effects last 72 hours
Maximum potency
Works in just 45 minutes
Can be taken with alcohol
May cause bisexuality, whatever that is.

But can he deliver on all this hype? We shall see on Saturday at:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run # 1570, Satyrday July 9th, 2011: 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Phuk

Missederections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the new Yala road for 7k to the run site on the left.

Sunday's (July 10th 4:10 p.m.) HH3 run is being set by Moo Sahb who is actively seeking partners for a pleasurable laying experience, although the doggies will be in attendance as well to make sure that the boasted 72-hour-phuk-effect doesn't get in the way of things, as it were.

Probable run site is at the foot of Khao Ron: from Songkhla, take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k turn left for 6k then left for 5k and left into the Khao Ron road and bear left at the Y junction in 500m, then straight on for about 1k to the run site on the right. (From Hatyai turn right at the Nam Noi traffic lights and go 10.5 k, then turn into the Khao Ron road etc.)

On On On On On On On On On On On!

The happy ending demonstrated

2011-07-07T09:24:00.008+07:00

Parental advisory: Explicit content!

For the benefit of the more innocent members of our community, here is a two-minute introduction to the art of the Happy Ending.

Coming soon: Locating and identifying the elusive chocolate starfish.

1569: Facts, just facts.

2011-07-03T14:05:00.006+07:00

Long run: 5.9k:1hr 3mins. 360:5; F:5, X:1. Max Alt: 289m; total ascent 324m. Hares:1 + 3. Hounds:15 + 7.

Short run:2.75k: Hounds:16. BTG:5. Beer consumed: Zero ('cos it was illegal and we're all good law abiding citizens). Flying pigs: lots!

HH3 on election day

2011-07-01T23:07:00.003+07:00

Oooops!

Officially: from the Ko Yo intersection take the Old Hatyai Road for 4.7k and turn left for 9k to the run site on the right.

Two runs and an outstation

2011-06-30T22:11:00.007+07:00

Imagine...

Craggy limestone outcrops, lush natural tropical forests, misty morning sunrises, palm leafed huts... Patience! That's not 'till the end of the month!

In the meantime, SH3 brings you...

Run # 1569, Saturday 2nd July 2011: 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Egghead

Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the Old Yala Road for 8k and turn right before Ban Dan School. Follow the road for 1.35k. Park by the side of the road and congregate at the rubber weighing station.

Sunday's HH3 run is keeping it's details close to its chest but likely hare is Nicheow and the location is likely to be about 5k down Poonakan on the left. Any update on that will be promulgated appropriately, or maybe we'll just post it here and send out more unsolicited e mails.

Now to those craggy tropical sunrises.

SH3 are organizing an outstation run to be held on the weekend of 30th/31st July. The location will be the Wang Wan Resort which is within spitting distance of Wang Sai Tong in Satun. The weekend will feature a run on Saturday, dinner, entertainment, free beer, more entertainment, more free beer, breakfast the next morning if you're man enough to handle it, followed by kayaking down the river, followed by lunch. The price including accommodation, food, beer, kayaking and all the rest will be 400 Baht for SH3 active runners with guests paying whatever the full cost turns out to be, which will be well under 1000 Baht. Kids will be at a lower price to be haggled about. Hash Cash will be going amongst the faithful this weekend with her clipboard in hand seeking your commitment and a token of your good faith, i.e. pay in advance!

It felt like a monster to me

2011-06-26T08:37:00.007+07:00

The secret side of me, I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can't control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it

It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster

Hawkfrost

So what is this, monster envy? OK so it wasn't cosmically huge, but it felt like a monster. There was that edgy feeling like standing on a high board and not quite knowing whether to jump or just quietly turn round and climb back down to the pool, particularly as we all flailed about in the shiggy at the first check. But once it got under way it could easily have gone on until it got dark - and in fact for Softy and Bravefart it did go on until dark as the pack's increasingly annoying inability to break checks and the disappearing puce paper took its toll on the back runners. And it was a surprise when it finished so quickly. No one seemed to expect the runsite to suddenly loom up out of nowhere but there weren't too many complaints that it did.

I, I feel like a monster! Yeah!

You call that a monster?!

2011-06-25T21:42:00.003+07:00

Well yes, Softcock got it right: we used to tell people to fear the Monster. Now we tell them oh no, please don’t be alarmed, it’s all soft and gentle and fuzzy. Let’s face it: like us ourselves, the Monster ain’t quite what it used to be. But then after last weekend’s two runs, did you really want it to be?

Anyhow here it is, in all its 7km (!) glory. Total ascent was 520m, if you were silly enough to follow the paper on the two false trails and that final checkback.

Whatever you may have thought of the run, I submit that the runsite is a lovely place. Unfortunately there are suprisingly few ways to construct a decent run in and out of it, and this was pretty much the only obvious way (see the map – you really can’t do it much shorter). We should probably return some day. But not too soon

The monster returns

2011-06-23T22:18:00.005+07:00

Remember this reptile? The last time you saw him his was gracing the butt end of your underpants and encouraging you to "Feel the monster within". Five years on he has an almost avuncular air about him; certainly nothing to be worried about.

And so it is with this weekend's annual nod and a wink in the direction of a ball breaker: nothing to worry the athletic cream of Songkhla, many of whom have this week been honing their stamina in Satun or piling their Steeds in Phattalung (or Trang; or somewhere in between.)

So the misdirections are:

SH3 run #1568 "the Midsummer Mini-Monster", 25th June 2011: 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Beavershot (whose birthday it is; hint, hint!)

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 10k and turn left at the Nam Noi traffic lights. Go 3.4k and turn right, then go 300 meters and turn right and follow the road for 2.2k to the top of the hill.

Sunday's HH3 run will be set by _______* and the run site is at_______* (* fill in your name and your chosen location here). But no doubt all will become clear by Saturday.

Yardo's crackup: The postscript

2011-06-22T18:42:00.007+07:00

Click on this to see it big, and then look for the small pink figure bathing just below the dark rock near the bottom right . . . it's a not-so-small Scotsman.

So here's the tale of the adventure that followed Yardstick's unfortunate Evil Kneivel impersonation. (But first I must add a small correction to my respected colleague's post immediately below this one: the accident occurred not on the main North-South road but on the Phattalung-Trang road, about 500m before its highest point, i.e. the ridge that divides the two provinces. Those of you of a forensic bent are welcome to go up there and see the milestone, now broken and partly uprooted, that suffered the combined impact of Yardo's roo bar, the engine behind it, and the foot behind that.)

Anyhow, we took the victim to Piyarak Hospital in delightful downtown Phattalung, where the staff insisted on knowing his religion, apparently in the case of last rites. Being the sensitive, caring sorts that we are, we then simply carried on with the trip. Stick Insect had arranged accommodations at a resort at Ton Te Waterfall, which is on the west side of the Phattalung-Trang hills probably just a bit south of where we came out on the Khao Jet Yawd hillwalk. Apart from the fact that nobody was there and the place appeared to have closed up a year or two before, it proved quite satisfactory.

The main attraction here is the waterfall itself, which is fairly spectacular and includes perhaps the best natural swimming hole any of us had ever seen, right at the base of the falls. Three of our party (Stick, Bravefart, and me) carried on up the hill to almost 500m, where we found . . . uh, more hill. Anyhow, plenty of opportunity for hill trekking, and some nice rubber down at the bottom for possible hash runs. The resort has only 5 or 6 bungalows, but features a big grass lawn that would be ideal for tents. Anyhow, keep it in mind for a possible outstation run. I think all of us agreed that it's a kind of special place, really lovely and apparently undiscovered.

Going round the bend? Not Yardo!

2011-06-22T10:05:00.003+07:00

Rumors of Yardo's decline in sanity have been firmly scotched this week as he proved decisively that he is not going round the bend. So determined was he to stick to the straight and narrow, that he failed to make the big bend on the main North-South Highway, somewhat short of Pattalung while astride the Steed ending up dropping the bike and gracefully drifting into a concrete pillar which caused his foot to be crushed beneath the Steed's crankcase. No news on the condition of the bike, but Yardo's foot now has more metal in it than your average Honda and he is languishing in room 904 at the Bangkok Hospital in Hatyai until at least Thursday. A deputation of (mostly Thai) hashers visited him last night and reported his condition to be "stable" which can only mean that they didn't smuggle in enough beer, or that he had been strapped to the bed to prevent any further loss of balance.

I guess he won't be running the monster on Saturday then!

We're all mad!

2011-06-19T21:36:00.010+07:00

(Click on images to enlarge)

Not much to be said about this weekend's hashing unless you are a psychiatrist in which case you would probably have a lot to say about masochists who having survived Yardo's 9.9k pre-monster on Saturday, then willingly set out on what was being billed as a fairly extreme A to B to C run on Sunday set by well known psychopaths, Sex Star and Sex Ao Ao, smarting for revenge after his inability to stick to the plot last week.

Looking at the profiles above, Yardo's run looks slightly the more extreme; but it lacked the sheer vertical grandeur of the Sex boys outing and although Yardo's run is measured as being slightly the longer, that is deceptive as all the (7!) F's and X's have been left in whereas Sunday's run is mostly the trail itself as the bearer of the GPS was not in any danger of finding or breaking any checks once the run got seriously underway. For the record, Sunday's run split at 4.0k with the B to C section measuring just under 5.3k and the total ascent was 479 meters. Yardo won't reveal what the total ascent was on Saturday so it must have been equally horrific.

But the good news is that next weekend's monster is going to seem like a walk in the park according to Beaver, and he should know as he has spent a week of his life recce'ing it. But hares have been know to lie or to be subject to fits of self deception. Those of a nervous disposition might want to consult their psychiatric advisers before next Saturday just to check that their sanity has not completely departed!

Yardo lays a big one

2011-06-19T14:43:00.002+07:00

A hare's lament

2011-06-16T10:10:00.006+07:00

The next two weeks' upcoming hares, Yardo and I, both had the same reaction to last Saturday's run . . . how are we going even come close to that? Then, as if to rub it in, Egghead raised the stakes another notch the very next day, setting a figure-8 run so subtle and devious that it completely hoodwinked the hyper-competitive Sex Ao Ao, leaving him alone and whimpering in the jungle. True poetic justice.

Yes, the problem is that Egghead is working on a level of his own these days. He's spent so much time out there in the rubber (maybe more than all our other hares combined) and has set and swept so many times that he can practically set a great run in his sleep. "Run of the year," someone commented on Saturday, in an almost bored tone, as if, well, what else did we expect? Believe me, it ain't easy for us ordinary mortal hares.

Anyhow this is all by way of saying 1) Egghead rules -- many hashes would be lucky to get a run the quality of our last one once a year, and we got two in a weekend. And 2) Yardo and I are stepping up to the challenge this Saturday and next, and you ought to be there!

Did someone forget the beer?

2011-06-15T22:10:00.003+07:00

Tomorrow (Thursday 16th June) night's Full Moon run will take place from the Sai Kao Resort which can be reached either by taking the Old Yala road then going right at 16k then going about 5k (passing the big tree at 3.5k) when the resort will be on the right; OR , from an Easterly direction the resort is on the left about 4k beyond the Ban Tha Kham crossroads on the Nam Noi - Thung Wang road.

The hare is Sex Printer and in addition to all the usual delights, if you fancy staying over at the resort, rooms can be made available, but the hare would like to know so that he can sort it out in advance with the resort. Otherwise, the usual stuff applies: bring a handlight and some beer if you want, or buy FM special brew at 3 cans for 100 Baht and contributions of food never go amiss.

Saturday's SH3 run sees the long awaited return of Yardo as a hare. Details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1567; Saturday 18th June 2011: 4:30 p.m

Hare: Yardstick

Misdirections:

From Songkhla: From the Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 16.3k and turn right (at Wat Kun Thong) for 2.7k then turn left just after the ceremonial arch and go along the track for 1.6km to the run site. Park alongside track.

From Hatyai: Turn right at Nam Noi turn off, go straight through Tha Kham intersection to the big tree in the middle of the road at Ban Sai Khao. Continue straight for 700m and turn right before the arch, then go along the track for 1.6km to the run site.

Finally, HH3's run this Sunday (June 19th, 4:something) is from down Poonakan way: From Songkhla take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left then go 8k and turn right at Wat Keow Kloy, then go about 5k. Turn left and look for a sign somewhere before you reach the railway! The hare is Nicheow.

Two pictures are worth two thousand words, but a few more might come in handy

2011-06-13T08:22:00.003+07:00

Saturday...

Sunday...

(Click on the images to make them larger)

Haven't we been here before?

As advertised, both of last weekend's runs were from sites used in the living memory of all but the most alcohol addled brains. Saturday's run which in every sense of the word went in the opposite direction from Buk Toy and Sex Sprinter's from the same site, was a modest 6.5k all up and a good deal shorter for those who avoided the checks etc. by the simple expedient of sticking close to the hare (or just short cut up the valley; you know who you are!) But it was a pretty vertical experience with the top most check being set just below the 305 meters to which the run aspired, a check which remarkably all the front runners decided was going to send them DOWN, even after discovering the check-back in that direction. Have they learned nothing? What are hills there for? To go to the top, silly!

And there was something rather familiar about Sunday's HH3 run as well, although only two of the pack who attended the SH3 run from the same site a month ago were there to relive the soggy glory of the day when everyone else buggered off to Khao Men. Little did it profit them as Stick Insect a.k.a. Lady of the Lamp limped in someway behind the front runners and Gan Yao, alias Bigfoot having short cut up the valley on Saturday, short cut through the quarry on Sunday but still didn't avoid the second ascent of the pimple-sized hill. No one actually discerned that the run had been a figure-of-eight with the hare artfully rearranging the paper after the pack had completed the first ascent-descent, although Toy Boy realized he was headed for the out trail and assuming we couldn't be going that way went off in search of the trail elsewhere. The vital stats department reports a with-all-checks-and-falsies length of 7.6k, a maximum elevation of 124m and a total ascent of 200m. The hang-over department reports that we drank the beer truck dry which explains why Knackerwurst/I Want My Wife, who manfully struggled round the full 3 and a bit k of the short run, pissed off early. But a good time was had by all, lending further support to HH3's continuing renaissance the like of which SH3 can only dream of!

Comin' riight up!

2011-06-08T20:57:00.007+07:00

Two runs from the egg factory this weekend, both from locations which we've visited in the recent past. First up is SH3, details of which are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run#1566, Saturday, June 11th, 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Egghead

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.6k and turn left then go 10.2k and turn left for 2.2k to the same run site we used 3 weeks ago!

On Sunday (June 12th) as a complete contrast the HH3 run will be from the run site SH3 used 5 weeks ago, when most people were in Khao Men Resort on the HH3 outstation run. But if you didn't make the SH3 run that day then Sunday's run will come as a complete surprise; and if you did make it... don't give away any secrets!

Details are:

From Songkhla: from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4k and turn left at the Kuan Hin traffic lights. Go 8.5k and turn right then follow the bendy road for 1k to the run site on the left near the lake.

From Hatyai: Take the old Songkhla road to the Nam Noi traffic lights and turn right. Go 11k and turn left (into the road heading up Kao Ron). At the Y junction in 500m bear right (i.e. not towards Kao Ron) and follow the road for less than 1k to the run site on the right near the lake The hare is Kai Jeow.

Not your ordinary beaver

2011-06-07T07:08:00.002+07:00

It was nine years ago this month, June 22, 2002 to be exact, that your correspondent celebrated his half-century by buying a parang and laying what, in retrospect, was a pretty crappy run. Its main feature was that it was good and long, taking advantage of the fact that it was the longest day of the year so there would be plenty of daylight for the stragglers.

Within a few years, the Beavershot Birthday Run, as it was originally called, had morphed into the Midsummer Monster, and at least some of them have been fairly monstrous. In fact the one just two years ago in 2009, a four-part epic set by Rotten, Last Lover, and Rickdickulous, still proved itself worthy of the name. It even contributed a new lexical feature to all future maps of Songkhla, the infamous Fat Belly Pass.

But in general our tastes seem to have moderated. Most of us no longer seek out prolonged pain and suffering (though we still sometimes get it, like a couple months ago on Khao Luang), and most recent Monsters have been pretty mild. You know, like the year we were invited to “feel the monster inside” Egghead’s underpants. Ewww!

So with the return of the mantle to Beavershot this year, what will it be? A delightful easy romp over hill and vale, or a miserable endless slog through the worst the big Hatyai hill can offer?

We’re not talking. But we can reveal that this year’s event will take place on Saturday, June 25^th, and will start from a rather unique runsite located at N07 01.713' E100 32.084'. No doubt our resident master of misdirection can and will give you more descriptive instructions when the time comes. All you need to know for now is that our theme is “In Search of the Wild Beaver: Exploring the Tall Pines and Deep Canyons”. Tired of the same old tame, domesticated beaver? Come take a run on the wild side!

Danish Vegemite outrage

2011-06-04T09:38:00.002+07:00

No doubt our Antipodean members have been shocked and appalled by Denmark's recent banning of Vegemite. But now, courtesy of the BBC of all places, comes the inside story:

"C'mon, let's face it: Vegemite is a yeast infection in a jar. Remember, it started out as an unwanted by-product from the brewing industry. Like street violence and vomit. Still, the main reason that the Danes banned it is probably because it claims to be vitamin-fortified, which the Danes don't need because everybody know that the Danes fortify their bodies with the blood of Saxon children."

Dyslexia lures OK?

2011-06-02T17:10:00.004+07:00

This weeks Sh3 run is from the village beyond Ban Chompoo before you get to the Angtong intersection (where the new Yala road hits the old Yala road). You know the one; there's a big school there and a mosque about 500 meters past it, and it's the place where Bung, the beer truck driver lives. It'll come back to me if I think about it long enough....

Anyway, the official directions are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers run #1565, Saturday June 4th 2011; 4:30 p.m.

Hares: R2D2 and Sperminator

Misdirections: From the Kao Saeng Intersection take the old Yala road for 8k and turn right for about 2k. Park on the road at the run site.

A number of returnees expected this weekend, Yardo Beaver and Smegs among them, so the pack should be back up to full strength; but don't let that put you off!

Sunday's (June 5th, 4:19 p.m.) HH3 run is being set by Sex Star from somewhere near the Gamling reservoir. Best estimate on misdirections are to go down the Old Hatyai road for 4.7k, turn left for 8k then right for about 9k and look for a sign on the left before you get to the convention center with the longest name in the world. Alternatively go about 20k down the old Hatyai road and turn left about 1k after Tesco, up by the side of PSU, then go about 2k and look for the sign on the right.

Rogue elephant on the rampage at Khao Lam

2011-05-29T13:49:00.004+07:00

Never let it be said that Stick Insect doesn't meticulously plan his runs down to the finest artistic detail. Coincidence? I think not, any more than was the location of yesterday's run site, adjacent to the village fair, so that R2D2's manful efforts to run a circle worthy of the occasion were all but drowned out by the traditional Thai garb... err music blaring out from the sound system. But it didn't interfere with the consumption of all the beer, wine and champagne that Sticky had thoughtfully laid in, even though the wine token on the long run was never found, thanks to some idiot running off of the paper, calling the pack on from a check before they had time to find the token at the check back where it had been laid. But it didn't matter; we drank it anyway!

Not too many complaints about the run either, which although under the 5k barrier took about an hour and ten even for those who didn't ruthlessly short cut it; and they shall remain nameless to save my blushes and Only a Yolk's too: sometimes local knowledge has it's benefits!

This week's runs...

2011-05-27T17:06:00.004+07:00

...are: on Saturday the 'Stick Insect: I'm not 60 yet but I will be in 2 years time' run and details are:

SH3 run#1565, Saturday 28th May 2011, 4:30 p.m.

Hares: Stick Insect (and possibly Wet Spot and Pak Ma)

Misdirections: From The Kao Saeng intersection take the old Yala road for 11.5k and turn right then go 1.5k and turn right into the football field. Park in the rubber between the football field and the wat.

There are promises of wine and champagne tokens on both the long and the short run and there are predictions of a drinkable birthday present as well. So do come along and wish our leading Farang runner Happy Birthday and make sure that he doesn't have to drink all that beer alone!

On Sunday (May 29th: 4:** p.m., HH3 will be just up the road at the Sai Kao Resort (the run site used for their 500th run last year) and the hares will be Sex Printer and Buk Toy. Directions from Songkhla are either to take the same route as for Saturday then carry on beyond the football field for 500 meters and cross the crossroads ahead then go on for another 2.2k then turn right and the resort is about 1k up the road on the right. Alternatively, from the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7 k and turn left then go 6k to Ban Tha Kham and turn left and go about 4.5k to the resort on the left.

On! On!

Egg

Angry beaver roams through NWT town

2011-05-22T19:11:00.001+07:00

A large, agitated beaver attracted a crowd in Fort Smith, Northwest Territories, this week when it meandered through town and got hissy with a German shepherd.

The beaver was spotted Monday evening wandering around a residential neighbourhood, along a busy street, through a graveyard and golf course, all the while escorted by an N.W.T. Environment and Natural Resources officer.

Mike Keizer, a longtime resident in the town of 2,400 near the N.W.T.-Alberta border, said he hopped on his bicycle as soon as he heard there was a beaver on the loose.

"It looked huge. I always thought beavers would be smaller," Keizer told CBC News on Thursday.

"All the beavers I've ever seen have been in water, so you only ever see pieces of them; like, you don't get to see the whole beaver."

Another Fort Smith resident, Jason Mercredi, shot video footage of the beaver moving in a ditch and on a sidewalk along McDougal Street.

"There's a beaver holding up [the] main street," Mercredi says in the video, before asking his uncle if the animal would attack.

"He's pissed," Mercredi remarked.

Got agitated, flustered

The wayward animal, which Keizer estimated was the size of a dog, zigzagged across people's lawns and around their homes.

"Every time it got agitated or flustered, it would bang its tail on the ground. I mean, I was amazed at how fast it moved when it was agitated," he recalled.

Keizer said the beaver became especially agitated when it came nose-to-nose with somebody's German shepherd, with just a chain-link fence separating the two animals.

"It never backed down once. It grabbed the fence, it was hissing, and the dog was barking," Keizer said.

"When the ENR officer went to get it turned [around] so he'd get it away from town, he had a plywood sheet in front of him, and it rushed the sheet."

Keizer said he rode his bike ahead of the beaver, knocking on residents' doors and warning them to bring their dogs indoors "because there's a wild beaver walking through town, heading your way."

"While I was there, all kinds of people were driving up in their trucks and their cars and taking pictures," he said.

The beaver wandered about another kilometre or two before it headed towards the Slave River rapids and disappeared.

Keizer said in his 17 years living in Fort Smith, he has never seen a beaver — never mind a beaver so large — come into town.

Link to story and video here.

This weeks runs: The direction doctor advises

2011-05-20T11:11:00.008+07:00

You really wanna know?

Saturday's details are:

SH3 run #1563, Saturday May 21st 2011, 4:30 p.m.

Hare: Buk Toy and Sex Sprinter

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for 11k, then left and follow the road/track for about 1.5k to the run site

Sunday's HH3 run is being set by Pig Porker and the run site is on the Chana - Phattalung road in the Na Mom area. The run site can either be reached by taking the same turning off the old Hatyai road as for Saturday and continuing on past Wat Nerm Pichit for a total of about 14k until you reach the Chana-Phattalung highway, then turning right for about 10k to the run site on the left; or you can stay on the old Hatyai road, past Hatyai on Karnchanavit road, past Macro to the flyover (about 22k from the Ko Yo Intersection) and turn left. The run site is then on the opposite side of the road (the right) and you will need to do a U turn in about 2.8 k to reach it.

Anywhere else you want directions to?

More runs for your money

2011-05-15T10:33:00.003+07:00

With the addition of the full moon run on Monday (May 16th), those of us who enjoyed yesterday's pussy run can now fit three runs in this week. Directions are to go to the New Yala road probably about 3.5k and look for a sign - probably on the right. The hare is After Ours and the usual stuff applies: bring a handlight, some beer if you feel like it and some food if you think you'll be hungry afterwards. Full moon special brew should be on sale at 3 cans for 100 Baht and the run should start at 7:00 p.m.

Just a reminder as well that today (Sunday 15th May)'s HH3 run is from a runsite just past Wat Keow Kloy on the right and not as advertised below. The hare is still Nicheow.

Revenge of the killer pussies

2011-05-14T07:02:00.002+07:00

It’s that time again, when our normally subservient and docile pussies rise up and take control of our lives for an hour and a bit. This week they’ll be struttin’ their stuff at the Aw Baw Taw office at Tung Yai; full details are:

Songkhla Hash House Harriers’ Run #1562, Saturday May 14, 2011; 4:30 p.m.

Hares: (from) After Ours, Crackwurst, Ram It In, Only a Yolk, Meals on Wheels, Temporary Relief and associated doggies and lesser mortals (i.e the odd husband who may be at a loose end).

Misdirections: From the Ko Yo intersection take the old Hatyai road for 10k and turn left at the Nam Noi traffic lights for about 3.6k then right for about 500 meters to the run site on the left.

Sunday’s HH3 run is from Nerm Pichit and is being set by Nicheow (From the Ko Yo intersection take the Old Hatyai road for 4.7k and turn left for about 11k (i.e. about 3k past Wat Keow Kloy) then left at the hash sign and follow whatever signs, paper, chicken entrails etc. have been left to indicate the exact whereabouts of the run site.

Finally, the Full moon this month is next Tuesday, which is Visaka Bucha day and a public holiday to wit for those of you lucky enough to have thoughtful employers who value the religious welfare of their employees. Logically we should do it on the day but Monday also can lah and Wednesday is not totally out of the question. However, the main ingredient to make it all happen is a willing hare so if you fancy running this month (and bear in mind that we missed out last month). Volunteer and name the day!

P.S. Apologies for the late posting but the blogger people have been doing maintenance to their site and there has been no access for the last 24 hours since the decision was reached on this week's run. Don't say I didn't warn you!